Hey, guys, by popular request, I'm starting a topic on style advice for guys who prefer to have long hair. I have pretty stupidly long hair, and I'm really stubborn about cutting it, but I can still pass sometimes even though I'm pre-everything and not terribly consistent in my presentation anyway (I'm genderqueer/transmasculine). I'm by no means an expert, but here's what I know about making long hair look masculine. Also, sorry that all the pictures are in links; I didn't want to get in trouble for embedding pictures that totally aren't mine and that I didn't ask to use, even if it's for illustrative purposes. I hope this is helpful (and in the right place)!
When it comes to getting it cut, just have them cut it straight across if you have relatively straight hair (http://www.edgrochowski.com/edphoto4.jpg (http://www.edgrochowski.com/edphoto4.jpg)), and it'll look like this when it gets disordered: http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/8818/forjoelpg6.jpg (http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/8818/forjoelpg6.jpg). Layers are typically feminine, and they show up more with straight hair: http://angelbrewhaha.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/layered-hair.jpg (http://angelbrewhaha.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/layered-hair.jpg). If your hair is on the curlier end of things, no one will be able to tell if it's layered: http://improbable.com/projects/hair/pre-2003/paravidino-hair-hi-res.jpg (http://improbable.com/projects/hair/pre-2003/paravidino-hair-hi-res.jpg). Though a few guys in '80s metal bands pulled off bangs (http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2007/mar/20sld5.jpg (http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2007/mar/20sld5.jpg)), it's pretty much not a good strategy for passing if the rest of your hair is long. One last thing is that higher testosterone levels can make the short, finer hairs at the hairline on the sides and back fall out to make a masculine hairline, so it would be pretty reasonable to buzz them off. (I tried really hard to find a picture of a guy with a ponytail with the wispy stuff buzzed off, but I couldn't find one. I swear I saw this on law enforcement guys in the city where I grew up.) If you want to keep the length but have less hair, consider an undercut. Here's a really extreme one: http://p1.hotornot.com/bl/brands/NYNUEM/GJQGCPCTXVEJDHMNKVFG.jpg (http://p1.hotornot.com/bl/brands/NYNUEM/GJQGCPCTXVEJDHMNKVFG.jpg). And here's a more moderate one: http://i11.tinypic.com/4u3i8w4.jpg (http://i11.tinypic.com/4u3i8w4.jpg).
Regarding caring for your hair in general, don't overthink it. I shampoo and condition my hair every other day and brush it maybe once a week, probably less. I think not brushing it often contributes significantly to passing, even though some folks might find that gross. Along with that, I haven't gotten a trim in 6 years and a real haircut in much longer, so I can rock the "my hair has reached its terminal length due to split ends" look, which I think is even more masculine than a straight-across cut: http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee256/Isjungfrun/9k01nq.jpg (http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee256/Isjungfrun/9k01nq.jpg). Also, dreads can be really masculine or at least not feminine, if you can pull it off. For everyday styling, try to leave it alone as much as possible. Don't bother using a comb to part it. Just let it go where it wants when you get out of the shower: bonus points if that's roughly in the middle, as a part that's too far to one side tends to look feminine. If you need to tie it back, keep the ponytail low, as in, just below or at the point where your hair stops growing on your neck. Pre-T, you might not have a very masculine hairline, so if you can, leaving it down or at least not pulled back as much as down should help hide that. If you leave it down (or if it's really, really long and in a ponytail), don't play with it!
Again, I'm not declaring myself king of long hair; I've got a lot to learn, too, but these are the things that work for me plus some stuff I've heard elsewhere. For what it's worth, my partner's a cis-guy with long hair, and from time to time he gets mistaken for a woman, so even if you're on T, you might still not pass 100%, and that might just be part of the long hair deal for you, so don't take it as a personal offense to your masculinity if it happens occasionally. Got any other passing tips for long hair? Can you share any experiences supporting or conflicting with this advice? Want to show off pictures of what your long hair looks like?
I can't go without brushing my hair oO But I will say I enjoyed this topic, gave me an idea of one thing I do with my long hair that is feminine heh fixing it as high as it will go and putting into a bun to keep my hair off my neck and out of my face. Gotta change that.
Is it just me, or is male hair "flatter" than female hair? Maybe it looks slightly more greasy usually or something, but I am frustrated by the volume of my hair. Bloo bloo.
I have medium-length hair (for a guy). I'm fussing about how to make it pass better without cutting it much. I'll take a picture soon and see if you guys have any advice...
I'm currently growing my hair out for either dreads or long hair. I cut it to try and pass but I didn't pass at all with short hair so now I'm growing it, i'm worried I wont pass though as i'm pre T.
I've got medium length for a guy (I had to compromise with my mom because she didn't want me get it cutting too short because she didn't want me to look like a boy and I didn't want my hair long because it made me too feminine looking) and I shampoo daily, except on weekends, and I brush my hair daily. I can pass better if I slick my hair back like Will Turner's, which is pretty neat....If I had long hair, I'd brush two or three times a day because I love shiny hair and any guy who takes really good care of their hair scores bonus points with me....I love long hair on guys (well, nice and pretty long hair....greasy hair's nasty).
thanks Ilan!
personally, i pass way better when my hair is messy or curly as opposed to straight hair.....layers around the face and loooong sidebangs CAN actually be an advantage, because hair that frames the face hides the shape of the face/jawline. so people can assume there's a strong male chin beneath that hair. once your hair is so long that it would pretty much all flow down your back, that will leave your face quite "naked", so it may be a good idea to pull some of it to the front.
I hope to grow it long when i'm on T, IF i can grow a goatee or something facial. I like my hair long but i got it cut short so people kind of... took me seriously? my friends are the kind who would be like... 'if you wanna be a guy, why have you got long hair?'. It's the metal-ish scene i guess, my metal head friends have long hair but my school friends just don't get it, used to have this friend in school who had hair about to his shoulders, and every day people would poke fun at him and tell him to cut it. IDK why people feel the need to get so involved in other people's hair.
I'm so happy you finally managed to post this. It helps a lot.
I can't pass at all with long hair. I tried for years but I don;t pass unless it's really short. One day, when I've been on T for a few years and got enough facial hair to pass, I'll grow it long again and be the short, fat, ageing rocker. :P
My old hair was so fluffy. I don't know if any of you remember it, but I posted pictures a few times around here.
Too bad, I wouldn't have minded having long hair if it wasn't so ridiculous looking. I started to pass almost instantly once I cut my hair short and it's been that length ever since (well, it's a little shorter now.)
Long hair on guys is cool. Maybe I'll try growing it out again, maybe it's straightened out a little more since it seems to get straighter with each passing year.
Quote from: brainiac on September 09, 2010, 12:10:46 PM
Is it just me, or is male hair "flatter" than female hair? Maybe it looks slightly more greasy usually or something, but I am frustrated by the volume of my hair. Bloo bloo.
I haven't really noticed that. My cis-male partner's hair has literally ten times the volume mine does, even though mine is longer! But I think it may look that way because so many males have thinning hair, which is quite uncommon on females.
Quote from: LukasGabriel on September 09, 2010, 01:15:32 PM
I can pass better if I slick my hair back like Will Turner's, which is pretty neat....
Neat! I can't pull that off because I have a really feminine hairline. /-:
Quote from: emil on September 09, 2010, 01:26:45 PM
personally, i pass way better when my hair is messy or curly as opposed to straight hair.....layers around the face and loooong sidebangs CAN actually be an advantage, because hair that frames the face hides the shape of the face/jawline. so people can assume there's a strong male chin beneath that hair. once your hair is so long that it would pretty much all flow down your back, that will leave your face quite "naked", so it may be a good idea to pull some of it to the front.
That's a good point! My hair's been so long that it's all swept back for so long that I didn't notice that, but when I went hunting for pictures, I found some really good ones of guys with medium-long hair and layers framing the face (like this one: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3109/2647215280_481586d8c7.jpg?v=0 (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3109/2647215280_481586d8c7.jpg?v=0)).
Quote from: Wolf on September 09, 2010, 02:10:54 PM
my friends are the kind who would be like... 'if you wanna be a guy, why have you got long hair?'. It's the metal-ish scene i guess, my metal head friends have long hair but my school friends just don't get it, used to have this friend in school who had hair about to his shoulders, and every day people would poke fun at him and tell him to cut it. IDK why people feel the need to get so involved in other people's hair.
Aw, man, that sucks! Yeah, if you couldn't tell by the pictures I used, I'm really into metal. To me it's so obvious that long hair is masculine, but it seems that the rest of society is baffled by that assertion. I'm also struggling with whether I should cut my hair to pass better, but there's a lot of inertia there for me.
I keep my hair in a low ponytail, it does not negatively affect my passing one bit.
You know, I was thinking of starting a topic on this and you beat me to it ;)
I feel like I'm one of the few that rock longish hair. I guess people would lump me into the "emo hair" category though. But it's totally layered and I think depending on just what you do with it, it could go either way. My hair is naturally wavy and I straighten it. To me, it looks more fem if it's all wavy. I only wash my hair maybe a couple times a week. I only brush it before I straighten it. I dye it too. Actually I think that whole "scene" thing has made it more plausible to pass with hair like that.
Here's some more I guess what people some might consider "emoish" hairstyles but personally I think they work just fine on guys ...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F__rztMJjnNlg%2FSgemx6Gi6PI%2FAAAAAAAADTo%2FlsW93U6pnhk%2Fs400%2F24379068on7.jpg&hash=d70e4117a30c78d8e9ad79e4e090801789166e83)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmen-haircuts.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F07%2FIan-Watkins-Scene-Medium-Black-Hairstyle-2010.jpg&hash=ed4bcef185dfebbef8c319a7a320d810ba616ed8)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi535.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee360%2FThe_ending_of_your_life%2FGerard--large-msg-122068605064.jpg&hash=553cd64d0c608e49e087cf926bbe5987c73a33d9)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3A-bC94nUSrEicCM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fcoolmenshairstyles.com%2Fimages%2F2009%2F08%2Fmens-long-hairstyle.jpg%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=c8d004a3b6841afec75fea5a506dc6f02f8e23b5)
http://s1.hubimg.com/u/1253812_f496.jpg (http://s1.hubimg.com/u/1253812_f496.jpg) (this photo is huge so I didn't want to dump it in the thread!)
I think guys have an easier time of rocking messy looks. Girls trying to do seem to be lumped into an "unkempt" category or something. Like if you don't comb your hair and you're female it's like some major faux pas or something.
When I was pre-T and I was too lazy to cut my hair (I had a 7 inch long pony tail), I still passed because I had the right attitude. People didn't second guess me, lol.
Haha, before I started transition, I had very long hair because my mother had instilled in me a phobia of cutting it. She made a very big deal about cutting such pretty, long hair, even though I didn't think it was good at all. So, I didn't brush it, and I looked constantly like a metal head, after a concert, on a very bad hair day. People actually treated me horribly, as a "female", because of it. Yeah, women not keeping their hair perfectly kempt (and mine could never be, it has a mind of its own) are truly looked down upon.
My dad has long hair, it's very curly and just below shoulder length. Kinda like this guy's, but not quite as fluffy and shorter: http://improbable.com/projects/hair/pre-2003/paravidino-hair-hi-res.jpg (http://improbable.com/projects/hair/pre-2003/paravidino-hair-hi-res.jpg)
From the back, people often call him out as "lady", which infuriates him. But aside from that, I think long hair on guys is really cool. Do be aware that some professions may take you less seriously if you have long hair, or seem quirky in the least; he has had trouble with that and remembers to complain about it on a regular basis.
I've been going along with the "emo hair" lately. Still passing, and it's good to know that I can pull it off. I just don't like managing it. Going to get it cut soon.
Quote from: Lewis on September 09, 2010, 05:39:40 PM
I can't pass at all with long hair. I tried for years but I don;t pass unless it's really short. One day, when I've been on T for a few years and got enough facial hair to pass, I'll grow it long again and be the short, fat, ageing rocker. :P
Watch out! There's a rocker about ;)
I quite like the just below ear level Italian/Spanish kind of look especially when teamed up with very expensive Italian labels. I had my hair about jaw level for quite a long time before I came out as trans for that reason, I didn't see it as feminine. As it is now I kind of need to have short hair just to masculinise me a bit. I would like to have it longer again one day, when I don't have to worry about passing.
I passed even when I had hair half way down my back, I agree that yeah it is more about attitudes and confidence... then neccesarily about how you look.
I can now pass with hair below my waist. It took several months of hormones to do so however.
(sorry, since I'm not quite FTM, but A/G...)
Back when I wasn't id'ing as anything other than a butch, punk, cisgendered bi female...I got mistaken for male lots. Basically, my experience is, if I cut my hair anything shorter than shoulder-length, I get perceived as male. I guess people were picking up on what I hadn't yet figured out???
But as for the hair thing...I think a good shortcut to making your hair look as male as you are male...condition the crap out of it. Creme rinse when you shampoo and when you don't. And if that fails, if you have anything short of fully kinky hair, I would suggest herbal oil-based styling products or a little coconut oil-yep, make your hair greasier, so it'll look lanky and lie flat.
Were it me, I'd avoid petroleum-based stuff for toxicity reasons.
You may have to wash your hair more often, because the oil will cause your hair to get dirtier, but you'll have less breakage and damage. At one point I had tailbone-length hair, and I used coconut oil on it to make it braid neatly, and to make it glossy. A bean-sized lump of oil a day was enough for my hair at terminal length.
Oh-if you use coconut oil, keep most of it in the fridge, sealed in an airtight container-only taking out a bit at a time-like a week's worth or so. 16 ounces can last a year-but will go rancid if kept at room temperature in an open container over that period of time.
Rosemary essential oil-if you like the smell-is a lighter oil that is also excellent to put in your hair. Just about ten drops of this stuff, though. It's strong.
I used to pass better when I had long hair (down to the middle of my back), but I was also skinnier then so the moobs didn't show. I couldn't be bothered to take care of it properly and it was hot so I got an undercut. The hair cutter did such a bad job (how the hell do you mess up an undercut) that I just went home and shaved the whole thing.
I want to apologize for neglecting "emo hair" in my original post. I'm from the metal scene, and it didn't strike me as "long hair". DX But I agree with you guys that it's one of the easier styles for passing (and a very nice scene to be queer in, to boot).
Quote from: Alessandro on September 12, 2010, 11:15:31 AM
I quite like the just below ear level Italian/Spanish kind of look especially when teamed up with very expensive Italian labels. I had my hair about jaw level for quite a long time before I came out as trans for that reason, I didn't see it as feminine. As it is now I kind of need to have short hair just to masculinise me a bit. I would like to have it longer again one day, when I don't have to worry about passing.
Ooh, that sounds very professional-looking, which is hard to pull off as a man with long hair in general. I'm also guilty of seeing long hair as masculine on its own, and it's really jarring that society tends to see it as feminine if anything.
Quote from: rite_of_inversion on September 21, 2010, 06:54:15 PM
But as for the hair thing...I think a good shortcut to making your hair look as male as you are male...condition the crap out of it. Creme rinse when you shampoo and when you don't. And if that fails, if you have anything short of fully kinky hair, I would suggest herbal oil-based styling products or a little coconut oil-yep, make your hair greasier, so it'll look lanky and lie flat.
I think this can be very good or very bad avice depending on the shape and size of your head. I have a teeny, tiny head, smaller than that of any woman I know, so if my hair is slicked back, it exaggerates the shape of my head as well as my feminine hairline. My (cis-male) partner, however, is mistaken for a woman less often when he has it slicked back, because he has a masculine hairline and a somewhat bigger than the average male head.
Quote from: Hurtfulsplash on September 21, 2010, 07:03:29 PM
I used to pass better when I had long hair (down to the middle of my back), but I was also skinnier then so the moobs didn't show. I couldn't be bothered to take care of it properly and it was hot so I got an undercut. The hair cutter did such a bad job (how the hell do you mess up an undercut) that I just went home and shaved the whole thing.
Aw, that's really sad! It's hot as hell where I am, and I keep wanting to put my hair up higher on the back of my head, but I can't pass at all if I do that. If I get an undercut, I'll probably be doing it myself. /-:
So basically, "too lazy to do anything with it" long hair is what we're talking about.
Hairdressers, when I ever allow myself to get dragged to them (rarely, and only if someone else is paying) seem to refuse to want to put layers in mine even if I ask, it naturally parts down the middle, most of my life I haven't had bangs (I've liked them for, er, "passing" as a woman, because hiding my forehead and the fact that I don't go to the salon to have my eyebrows professionally done - isn't just not having a unibrow enough? - definitely seem to make me look more feminine), people tell me I shouldn't just because they're a pain to grow out (why assume that everyone wants to grow them out right away?), and I nearly always wear it in a low ponytail. I do look more feminine with shorter hair (though not actually *short*), because it looks vaguely styled, or if I don't just try and brush it straighter but use product to try and hold it in waves, I've noticed recently. Where was this "Everything you're doing wrong to look girly" list 10 years ago?
The bangs also help hide the rather masculine hairline I've got, it seems to run in my mother's family judging from my cousins, even the females. Part of why I'm afraid T will make me lose my hair like whoa.
Maybe I should try something emo, just for fun, since I've got a lot of hair products I've bought in the last while trying to do the curlier thing, and it mostly ends up looking stringy and falling down on its own after a while. What's the worst that can happen, I get mistaken for a guy with shorter hair? Since it sounds like at any time I can just carry on doing what I've done most of my life in the bare minimum hair and makeup department and be fine!
Quote from: Kareil on September 21, 2010, 09:39:34 PM
So basically, "too lazy to do anything with it" long hair is what we're talking about.
Hairdressers, when I ever allow myself to get dragged to them (rarely, and only if someone else is paying) seem to refuse to want to put layers in mine even if I ask...
Honestly, I think layers get a bad wrap. Yes, there was the bad feathered hair type of layers but the new styles aren't like that at all. Short haircuts are mostly layers. There are people (I would suspect mostly female) who don't like layers because they're always trying to "grow their hair out" or like that long hair look where it's all the same length. That to me is a really feminine hairstyle (long, all one length). Some guys can pull it off if it naturally grew like that or if it's curly but I mostly think of women when I think of that hairstyle.
hi everyone,
just joined and wondered if there were any older ftms that like the 80's rocker look. i havent started t yet, but have the prescription for it. i have been holding off cause i dont want to lose my hair. i was just wondering if there was anyone with similar thoughts.
Quote from: losthighway on November 01, 2010, 03:18:55 PM
just joined and wondered if there were any older ftms that like the 80's rocker look. i havent started t yet, but have the prescription for it. i have been holding off cause i dont want to lose my hair. i was just wondering if there was anyone with similar thoughts.
Yes. Me. I have kind of an 80's rocker look. I don't want to lose my hair either.
has anyone afraid of losing their long hair been brave enough to go and t and see no hair loss?
Quote from: losthighway on November 01, 2010, 05:23:23 PM
has anyone afraid of losing their long hair been brave enough to go and t and see no hair loss?
Mine's thinned a bit, but it's not gone. ;)
haven't gone on t for pretty much the same reason :D i used to have an 80s rockstar haircut but i ended up looking more like john bon jovi.
in order to pass i have to go over my eyebrows with an eyebrow gel or dye the eyebrows and surrounding baby hairs (this is important, because i was told by several people they look at the brows in a long-haired person's face when they are trying to figure out their gender) . i guess people are still used to seeing guys in leather jackets and skinny jeans who have long hair.
is it a fact that you will lose your hair eventually if you go on t? or is there a chance you wont?
Quote from: losthighway on November 01, 2010, 10:18:37 PM
is it a fact that you will lose your hair eventually if you go on t? or is there a chance you wont?
Whether or not you get male pattern baldness is genetic, and looking at your grandfathers and great grandfathers will help you figure out if you've got it, since it's a gene carried on the x chromosome, and if you have a good copy and a bad copy the good one takes over and you don't go bald. (part of the reason very few women go bald) Having two x chromosomes, you're at an advantage against male pattern baldness since you've got twice the chance for a good copy of the gene.
Quote from: Aegir on November 02, 2010, 07:48:01 AM
Whether or not you get male pattern baldness is genetic, and looking at your grandfathers and great grandfathers will help you figure out if you've got it, since it's a gene carried on the x chromosome, and if you have a good copy and a bad copy the good one takes over and you don't go bald. (part of the reason very few women go bald) Having two x chromosomes, you're at an advantage against male pattern baldness since you've got twice the chance for a good copy of the gene.
That's not how the mechanism works. I know where you got that from but I think that Wikipedia article is in serious need of revamping it talks a whole lot of crap. while there might be an X linked gene you ought to know that all females inactivate there second X chromosome. Thus the idea of "recessiveness" is critically flawed when talking about you guys.
X chromosomes work in a fundamentally different way from conventional autosomes.
Not only that it appears to be a muti-gene phenotype.
http://www.cell.com/AJHG/retrieve/pii/S0002929708001419 (http://www.cell.com/AJHG/retrieve/pii/S0002929708001419)
Chromosome 3 gene.
is there a way to tell if you have that gene before you start t? or do you have to find out the hard way?
Quote from: losthighway on November 01, 2010, 10:18:37 PM
is it a fact that you will lose your hair eventually if you go on t? or is there a chance you wont?
It May happen. Hair loss happens if you are genetically disposed towards male pattern baldness. There are treatments to partially lessen this but they can have side effects possibly including breast growth.
A guide to Hormone therapy you can google for is
Medical Therapy and Health Maintenance for Transgender Men: A Guide For Health Care Providers. it's by Gorton R, Buth J, and Spade D.
Quote from: losthighway on November 02, 2010, 08:17:02 AM
is there a way to tell if you have that gene before you start t? or do you have to find out the hard way?
Well you could sequence your genome
http://www.decodeme.com/about-decodeme (http://www.decodeme.com/about-decodeme)
But short of that there isn't any definite way in much the same in much the same way we girls don't know how big our boobs will get and although your parents and siblings might hold clues it still might surprise you at the end of the day what's in your bag. (I myself would have thought I would have been a D-cup based on the other females of my family not an A)
Once you start T those I ought to point out that the process is slow and you will notice it slowly coming to get you and you can take steps when it dose at those early stages (Dutastride/Rogain) before I transitioned I had the early stages myself although not real hair loss it was thinner on my crown and temples if I'd left it another 6 years I might have had real trouble.
thanks for the info pebbles. are there any ftms here that have had success keeping their long hair? and if so, how did you do it?
Quote from: losthighway on November 03, 2010, 07:14:04 AM
thanks for the info pebbles. are there any ftms here that have had success keeping their long hair? and if so, how did you do it?
Are you asking if any FTMs here keep their hair long? Because that's what this whole thread is about!
If you're asking about whether those who have taken T kept a full head of hair, that's an entirely different question (one that I think you should ask in a separate post). If you lose your hair on T, there's no proven way to stop it, although the same treatments marketed to cis-men should be just as effective on trans guys. Really, it's a crapshoot, and one that anyone born XY plays whether they want to or not. You need to ask yourself which is more important, getting the changes T will give you or (nearly) guaranteeing that you won't go bald.