Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was thinking about this topic on the way home from work today. I've had conversations with bilingual people about what language they dream in because that says a lot about how you think. Likewise I was curious to see what gender people see themselves as in their dreams. Most people dream about their past and about what stresses them so I would imagine that for most people, they will have a mixture of these options. Therefore I'm giving you all the option to pick up to 3 because that should be pretty representative of what you usually dream as. Be honest though. Dreams are pretty fantastic sometimes and they can send a lot of very insightful messages about yourself.



If you absolutely need another option, I'll add it, but I think these options pretty much cover the marjority of possibilities of the base question.

It used to be a mix for me... sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes a hybrid. The awful thing was whenever I WAS male, I knew it was wrong, and tried to become female (most of my dreams are lucid). I couldn't escape the GID, not even when I slept.

When I was female however, much of the time it was accompanied with the thought, "Wow! Cool! I did it!" I was more or less aware that I USED to be male, or was so in Real Life.

For a year or so now though, I've been exclusively female in my dreams, without any self-consciousness whatsoever. It's just normal, ordinary me, Kate, doing her thing. I'm guessing it's because I stopped thinking of myself as being male altogether, whereas before I kinda imagined GID as being a condition where I, as a male, wanted or needed to be a female. I felt guilty for it, and had difficulty accepting the fact that I AM female, regardless of my anatomy.

Once I finally accepted myself, and stopped making excuses and justifications, everything fell into place and became a coherent whole, both in my waking world AND in my dreams ;)

Most of the time I don't remember my dreas, but when I do (as I seem to more and more lately), I don't see myself as any particular gender.  I am just me.  I am aware I am in transition in my dreams, but gender really doesn't play any huge role in them.

Melissa

For me it is "As I am in waking life.", with VERY few exceptions.

Usually neither, sometimes female but even then being aware of my past. There's a definite sense, both in dreams and when awake, of being the same as I've always been. I think in waking life I'm staying sane by ignoring the residual male attributes my body still has, but in dreams they're present so my GID is often stronger then.

Nowadays I am female in my dreams.  Heck! I'd better be! LOL ;D....but prior to transition, I was sexless, or perhaps a combination of both male and female; I am not exactly sure.

tinkerbell :icon_chick:

I am usually sexless in my dreams - or it just isn't an issue so I don't notice and sometimes, very rarely, I'm female.  I like those!

:icon_hug: &  :)
helen

I think we can learn alot from our dreams. With that having been said, a number of people stated that its just not noticable or not an issue in our dreams what gender we are unless it plays an important role in the plot of the dream. And perhaps that should also be how the rest of the world views it. In our dreams we just accept that we are ourselves and leave it at that. No need to apply a label. When the people of the world show as much insight as our dreams are trying to portray, all the problems will melt away.

I personally also don't notice a specific gender in my dreams and a noticable amount of dreams I'm not even playing the part of me, but rather some other person entirely. I've always been very interested in dreams, what they mean, how to influence them, and why they occur. I thought getting some feedback how others view the idea of self in dreams would be interesting, and so far it has been just that, very insightful.

M&M

I often don't remember my dreams, when I do I'm either Androgynous leaning more towards female or no gender at all.

zythyra

Good question. Most of the time I'm not even aware of my body, but I haven't been dreaming a whole lot recently. Or remembering them.

It's like if I ask you about a general memory; you tend to remember the emotion, event, person, view etc. before your remembered sense of self comes into play.

Better eat some cheese tonight and I'll get back to you tomorrow morning. ;)

First of all, I'm biologically male.  I've been female in my dreams a couple of times in my life, but that's not often enough for me to consider it significant.

Until I thought about it more carefully, I figured I was always just myself in my dreams, because that's what it seemed like.  At some point, though, I realized that I almost never noticed the existence of my penis in my dreams, whereas I certainly notice it in real life.  Now that I think about it, I don't notice my fairly large amount of body hair in my dreams either, though I question the significance of that since I don't think about it too much in real life either.

But I'm not imagining myself as female, either.  I don't have breasts in my dreams or anything.  So I checked off "no gender traits" because that's the usual way of things.

When I dream that I'm male, I dream that I'm unhappy that I'm male, and I'm anxiety-ridden.

When I dream I'm female, I dream that I'm happy that I'm female, and that it's right.

(Yes, this kinda' echoes a previous post by Kate, but that IS the way I feel.)

Sometimes I dream that I'm one and then become the other.  M->F dreams are happy, F->M dreams are anxiety.

For example, my last dream of this last night (the last one of the night is usually the most lucid dream,) had me at one point back in the military, and male.  Other more agressive males (also in the military,) were giving me rations of [___], both overt and subtle, for no other reason than me being as I was/am.

On another note, I regularly take vitamin suppliments that promote vivid and lucid dreams.  So I'm kinda' used to being aware of my dreams, and have built up a catalog of repetitive imagery and themes (the subject of another topic, perhaps?)

Karen

don't dream, or at least remember them.  guess thats alright though, I have so few pretty thoughts.

Nice to see you Karen, you might contact me sometime, gets boring around here on weekends.

Terri

Like a few other have said I'm just me in dreams.
But I don't remember most of my dreams.
 :) :)
Jillieann/JR

Androgynous

Quote from: Zythyra on December 12, 2006, 09:53:14 AM
I often don't remember my dreams, when I do I'm either Androgynous leaning more towards female or no gender at all.

zythyra

Thanks Zythyra,
you save me typing it out. Same, same with me.

:-)
Axélle

why isnt there a male option?
...
anyway my dreams are very diffrent and mostly im just me and rather "genderless" in the fact that my gender isnt showed in my dream only my action and fellings. but generally I am just me as trans.

only reason I can notice my own gender in a dream is if some gender parts are showed, my genetalia or cheast, or if anyone say something call me by a girl name or my boy name. in few situations I notice by having a body who might not be my own, who is clearly male or female so far I only remember 1 of those dreams where I dreamed I where a guy who in his 28.. or something..

I have always been a female in my dreams.

A little of both, though not androgynous: Mostly male; but when female, only dressed as so.

Generally, my gender isn't specified in my dreams unless the dream is sexual in nature. In those dreams I am male.

How come the "don't have dreams" option is in there twice? won't that mess up the curve?

I picked that one because I have a sleep disorder and so most of the time I don't dream

then a whole lot of the time I don't remember anything

then when I do, I am female

I am trans in my dreams.  There doesn't seem to be an option for that.

Quote from: Oriah on August 04, 2013, 12:36:38 PM
I am trans in my dreams.  There doesn't seem to be an option for that.

I have never heard of trans being called a gender before 

I have basically heard of people talking about the gender binary male and female and others who are more general with gender fluid and bigender and a gender   

just to consider yourself trans as your gender declaration seems funny to me

would you want M, F N or T on your DL ?  I want F

and female on my birth certificate

I ask because I know people who Bigender and they actually want changes so they can get self declarations to change how they are seen

I had a fantastic dream last night.  I was soaring and able to float above the people and landscape and clearly felt myself as a winged transgirl. 
Prior to bedtime we were at an old fashioned american square dance in an historic grange hall.  Most of the locals are ok with me presenting as feminine but a visiting couple seemed uncomfortable.  When square dancing we eventually come into contact holding hands with every member of the square at some point.  I felt rejected by this visiting couple and while my common sense said, forget about it, my dreams allowed me to fly above the fray.
Oh thank goodness for dreams!

Quote from: vegie271 on August 04, 2013, 02:52:07 PM



I have never heard of trans being called a gender before 

I have basically heard of people talking about the gender binary male and female and others who are more general with gender fluid and bigender and a gender   

just to consider yourself trans as your gender declaration seems funny to me

would you want M, F N or T on your DL ?  I want F

and female on my birth certificate

I ask because I know people who Bigender and they actually want changes so they can get self declarations to change how they are seen

I'm just trans.  I was never truly a man, though I was once accepted as one, and I shall never TRULY be a woman, no matter how much I wish or do not wish for it to be so.  I have traits of both, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I identify more with the female side of the binary, and have made changes to align myself more with this end.  I have rendered my testicles permanently non-functional, yet retain them.  I retain an adam's apple (though it's small...I see cis-women with larger ones) I still have my same voice and can achieve a male, female, or gender neutral dialogue at will.  I intend not ever to alter my body with surgery.  I wear these as my badges of honor....I don't wish to change them.  I will never be completely female or completely male.  I'm not enough of either and too much of both.  And I'm okay with it.  I'm trans.  I'll always be trans.  And though I've made a choice as to how I appear and present, I'm still just me....a soul adorned with flesh and bones.  And everyday I use the wisdom I learned while living as a male and living as a female.  At the end of the day, I feel equally detached from and attached to both genders.  I hold both at arms distance.  I've learned to trust neither and love both.  I am trans.  I was born identified as a male, transformed to be identified as female, and it's the transformation itself that helped me blossom into the unique being that I am.  Thus I identify as trans.

Quote from: Oriah on August 04, 2013, 03:21:50 PM
I'm just trans.  I was never truly a man, though I was once accepted as one, and I shall never TRULY be a woman, no matter how much I wish or do not wish for it to be so.  I have traits of both, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I identify more with the female side of the binary, and have made changes to align myself more with this end.  I have rendered my testicles permanently non-functional, yet retain them.  I retain an adam's apple (though it's small...I see cis-women with larger ones) I still have my same voice and can achieve a male, female, or gender neutral dialogue at will.  I intend not ever to alter my body with surgery.  I wear these as my badges of honor....I don't wish to change them.  I will never be completely female or completely male.  I'm not enough of either and too much of both.  And I'm okay with it.  I'm trans.  I'll always be trans.  And though I've made a choice as to how I appear and present, I'm still just me....a soul adorned with flesh and bones.  And everyday I use the wisdom I learned while living as a male and living as a female.  At the end of the day, I feel equally detached from and attached to both genders.  I hold both at arms distance.  I've learned to trust neither and love both.  I am trans.  I was born identified as a male, transformed to be identified as female, and it's the transformation itself that helped me blossom into the unique being that I am.  Thus I identify as trans.

Well stated and easy for me to identify with Oriah.  Thank you
Some sleep and dream researchers consider dreams to be preparation for the next day and a sort of categorization of so much stimulus we experience consciously or not.  Here's to flying on the Transworld Airliner...........

Quote from: Tessa James on August 04, 2013, 03:40:19 PM
Well stated and easy for me to identify with Oriah. 

Glad you can relate!  I kind of thought everybody would just think I'm nuts....

Quote from: Oriah on August 04, 2013, 03:21:50 PM
I'm just trans.  I was never truly a man, though I was once accepted as one, and I shall never TRULY be a woman, no matter how much I wish or do not wish for it to be so.  I have traits of both, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I identify more with the female side of the binary, and have made changes to align myself more with this end.  I have rendered my testicles permanently non-functional, yet retain them.  I retain an adam's apple (though it's small...I see cis-women with larger ones) I still have my same voice and can achieve a male, female, or gender neutral dialogue at will.  I intend not ever to alter my body with surgery.  I wear these as my badges of honor....I don't wish to change them.  I will never be completely female or completely male.  I'm not enough of either and too much of both.  And I'm okay with it.  I'm trans.  I'll always be trans.  And though I've made a choice as to how I appear and present, I'm still just me....a soul adorned with flesh and bones.  And everyday I use the wisdom I learned while living as a male and living as a female.  At the end of the day, I feel equally detached from and attached to both genders.  I hold both at arms distance.  I've learned to trust neither and love both.  I am trans.  I was born identified as a male, transformed to be identified as female, and it's the transformation itself that helped me blossom into the unique being that I am.  Thus I identify as trans.

Quote from: Tessa James on August 04, 2013, 03:40:19 PM
Well stated and easy for me to identify with Oriah.  Thank you
Some sleep and dream researchers consider dreams to be preparation for the next day and a sort of categorization of so much stimulus we experience consciously or not.  Here's to flying on the Transworld Airliner...........

I see - that is great - society needs to make room for people like you a proper designation for you even on ID -  see for me it is different - I was born female -  I knew this at 3 - for me the trans designation is only useful for getting a medical diagnosis long enough to get the HRT setup  and then to get my ID change and my birth cert corrected and all the correct setup that should have been done because the doctors made a mistake when I was born

then I can integrate into society even if I never get SRS because society prevents it

I'm about 50/50 in my dreams. Before I understood any of this I was seeing a therapist (long time ago) and I remember telling her about how I'm often female in my dreams (among other big hints) but she never put it together. I wish she had, but it's my own fault for not telling her everything.

I've had a recurring nightmare for as long as I can remember that I'm talking to someone -- and in the dream I'm female, and everything is fine. But then I look down at my body and see that it's male. Then I start freaking out and worrying that they'll notice. But they never do. I always wake up first.

It may not sound like a nightmare to cis people, but holy gawd! I wake up hyperventilating and in complete panic mode. The interesting thing is I haven't had that dream since I started talking about these things with my new therapist. Talking about it really does help a lot; even on a subconscious level it seems.

As early as I could remember them, male. Don't know why (or even how) but especially as a kid, most of my dreams entailed marking territory in all kinds of settings (even once, a mall while on an escalator... I think :o). Weird but true. I literally never even knew what a boy had until around age 8 (basically a very sheltered childhood, no siblings, no males in the immediate family and so forth) but somehow I dreamed about that in accurate detail. As an adult I dream much less frequently or else just don't remember them. On the rare occasions I actually do, and when they involve self, they're always in the male perspective and rightfully so. In fact I don't ever recall having a single dream in the female perspective before.