Susan's Place Transgender Resources

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ichloe.com%2Fimages%2Fshine.gif&hash=624cc6ca7c5dfce5587deffcf2547d4bc02ef4f4)I just have to say I love my new body! Who could have foreseen what a difference it has made? Sitting at my desk, or lying on the sofa watching TV, when I'm going to sleep at night, or when I wake up in the morning... it feels so indescribably wonderful, and I can only expect it's going to get better. I'm so happy with the way it feels now, as time goes by and I settle into my corrected anatomy- no longer wrong-side out girl, but right-side out at last.

I know I absolutely did the right thing, and you could not pay me back three times or a hundred times what I spent on this surgery to go back and have to live the way I was before. In fact there is nothing that would make me want to go back, and the really great thing about it is that now I never have to. This has been for me a second chance at life- a truly happy life filled with a deep down peace and rightness of being I was previously unable to know, and never could have possibly known until I had taken this step. In the days leading up to my surgery I was naturally hoping for the best outcome, but I really didn't comprehend how nice it would be afterward, nor imagine the simple joy for being alive it would bring. It just feels so good to be finally whole and complete in my own body.

Surgery is a drastic measure by any standards, and not for everyone. For some of us though there really is no other alternative, nothing inherently better or noble or brave about pretending to have a life while so afflicted with such a debilitating condition, no matter what some others might say. Yes, life goes on and still has its troubles, but for me the lifelong ravages and struggles of gender dysphoria, and the incongruence of being in exactly the wrong body are no longer among them. That conflict is over, and I won. Gender confirmation surgery was just what I needed; it cured my body and my soul, and transformed my life into something worth living. For me it was not a bad trade then, to give up something I couldn't keep in order to gain something I can never lose.

We hear so many negative things; sometimes it's nice to hear that it can all be worth it. I was withering and slowly dying inside, and now life is full of promise and new hope. Like the metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly, this journey within and without has been nothing short of miraculous. ♥

Very well expressed.  :)

I'm glad you made it to the end of the road and the freedom that those of us who share your feelings now enjoy.

That was beautiful.  I know how you feel only because I have dreamt it. The joy of having the right body in a dream, then of course waking up and facing reality again. Stories like yours are inspirational and keep me going. Thank you so much for sharing your joy.

You put it so well, Chloe.  I agree with Valerie - it is all true, especially the lines she quoted.

I went out last night and might have outed myself if anyone was paying attention.  (I don't think they were.)  I am just so happy to have this body and be all woman that my enthusiasm may appear a bit strange to a woman who has always had it.  But what the hay - revel in this new-found peace and comfort and happiness and joy.  The previous hardships just make us appreciate it the more.

How wonderful for you, dear. :icon_chick:

- Kate

I totally agree Chloe, its absolutely, astonishingly fantastic. Its so incredible to feel right in your whole being isn't it.

I was only thinking in the bath today, it must be like child birth, so painful and yet a pain that is so easily forgotten because of the beauty that remains.

Stardust   

Wow I could not have said it any better.  That is beautiful.  I felt that my body finally matched my mind.  I could never understand why God had punished me by giving me a penis, but he didn't.  He enabled me to have a better perspective on life and then gave me a way to be me.  The only sadness I have is that I will never be able to bear children.  I am not sure that science will ever be able to achieve that.

Your post made me cry Chloe! So happy for you and still ever excited for my own surgery =)

Sounds so wonderful.  And I too cried.  I don't know if I shall ever know the joy of which you speak.

sigh. That was so well put. I feel the same way.
Do you mind if I send that clip to my mother? It might help her understand where I stand.

Chloe

You are such an inspiration... So often I get discouraged and feel like giving up... Like I could just curl up in a ball and die

You are one of the few people that give me hope

Julie hi :) No I don't mind at all. Thank you all for your nice comments. :)

big hugs all around (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Ff050.gif&hash=f06e4e279974c327470aac7dcff14f3ffbbe83cb)

Fantastic words Chloe, exactly how I feel when I look at myself everyday.  I couldn't have put it better.

Love Chloe :-* :-*

Remember we have to see the summer bod and kini.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy

Hugs Aussie Doll

Cindy (yes we are claiming her as ours so there :P)

There is an old familiar poem by Muslih-uddin Sadi that says:

If thou of fortune be bereft And in thy store there be but left Two loaves, sell one, and with the dole, Buy Hyacinths to feed thy soul.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fnahrung%2Fg035.gif&hash=c9d2f941cf36adfa3e9649b173a1812b1b27e3b8)  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fmore%2Fflowers%2F005.GIF&hash=fb4132e59412794b294961be6ba0135e7fd7e096)

Which is to say that taking care of our psychological and spiritual well being is every bit as equally important as taking care of our physical bodies. To me having surgery was the best bouquet of hyacinths I could have given myself, and there may have even been a bit of bread involved there, too. :)

More hugs  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Ff050.gif&hash=f06e4e279974c327470aac7dcff14f3ffbbe83cb) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Ff050.gif&hash=f06e4e279974c327470aac7dcff14f3ffbbe83cb) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Ff050.gif&hash=f06e4e279974c327470aac7dcff14f3ffbbe83cb)

dear Cindy, YAY! I'll be leaving Philadelphia and going back to Sydney the first of November. I can't wait to be back home for Summer. :)

LOL. I am about 4 hours from you now near Albany NY, but I grew up in Sydney.
Scots College and not the Kambala I wanted to go to  :)

God I wish I was there every winter!

Quote
    This has been for me a second chance at life- a truly happy life filled with a deep down peace and rightness of being I was previously unable to know, and never could have possibly known until I had taken this step.

Wow I am speechless.
:'(
Jillieann

so happy 4 u ;)

 :laugh: :D THATS MY CHLOE !!!!