I'm always self conscious when I wear pants in public because I feel like my hips are too small to pull it off. My roommate tells me I'm nuts but I figured I'd get a second opinion from you guys and gals.
Here's a pic of me in my tightest fitting (left) and loosest fitting (right) pants:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg178.imageshack.us%2Fimg178%2F549%2Fpicture247n.jpg&hash=722725d248db9808c0b3e871c2a49839c87ea4c4)
Now, I know it looks ok as long I have a shirt on that shows the size of my waist, but if I wear a sweater, that's when I really start feeling self conscious:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg340.imageshack.us%2Fimg340%2F7187%2Fpicture248y.jpg&hash=56db716e34bc7a0ff40acaa98905127f59ac7230)
...so am I as crazy as my roommate thinks or should I invest in some hip pads? ???
You're crazy :)
Many XX women have small hips. You look fine!
Actually small hips look MUCH better in trousers than they do in skirts. Those who have minimal hips often cause skirts to hang wrong and that is a bit of a giveaway, but in trousers no such problem exists. Pre-op the real problem for many of you with trousers will be an unsightly crotch bulge.
I also agree that XX women often have very small hips, additionally, if you are lucky you may get some development from HRT. To my amazement I did even though I was already in my twenties and therefore should not have done so.
It's a cliched line but "I wouldn't have known if you hadn't said".
I think your very feminine arms more than make up for anything that might be wrong (though my eyes weren't drawn to any wrong things).
You look fine.
But if some padding makes you feel better then use it. I always did.
IMO - You don't need the pads
Thanks for the responses. I've been extra self conscious today because of something that was said about me last night so it was great to get some positive opinions.
Quote from: rejennyrated on September 18, 2010, 05:52:58 PM
I also agree that XX women often have very small hips, additionally, if you are lucky you may get some development from HRT. To my amazement I did even though I was already in my twenties and therefore should not have done so.
err... I've been on hormones for 2 years :(
Although, the first 14 months I was only on some plant based estrogens which had minimal effects. The biggest changes have happened in the last 6 months or so.
You're nuts.
Drops the waste.
Yep yer torso looks more female+ to me than if yous be a XY boy...
Fret not lovely..... ^-^
Quote from: My Name Is Ellie on September 18, 2010, 06:15:54 PM
It's a cliched line but "I wouldn't have known if you hadn't said".
I think your very feminine arms more than make up for anything that might be wrong (though my eyes weren't drawn to any wrong things).
Same. :)
You look just fine. As others said there are several genetic girls who have small hips. I remember a cousin from Singapore in my childhood, she used to have a small (almost flat) hips as far as I can remember. She still looked great back then, I thought. :)
I think you look fine. I have minimal hip and get by in 'tight' jeans; often to the compliment of 'bitch' from my gg friends :laugh:.
Cindy
You look fine, if I looked half as good i'd be happy, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
~ Tali
asked my 12 y/o daughter to look at just the sweater pic and then asked "is the photo of a boy or girl"
Her response: "Duh, that's a girl, look at her hips..."
nuff said.
You look great hun, you really have nothing to worry about.
You look great! Like someone the above, I'd never be able to tell if you hadn't said.
Thank you all very much for the nice compliments :D
I'm just easily derailed whenever I have a bad day and the other day was not a good one. My periods of low self esteem have at least been shortening lately and I've been able to get out in public more without having panic attacks. Validation from others has really been helping with this as my self image seems to be very skewed.
Now excuse me while I go tell my roommate about these comments so she can gloat. ::)
Quote from: Ayaname on September 19, 2010, 01:48:17 PM
Thank you all very much for the nice compliments :D
I'm just easily derailed whenever I have a bad day and the other day was not a good one. My periods of low self esteem have at least been shortening lately and I've been able to get out in public more without having panic attacks. Validation from others has really been helping with this as my self image seems to be very skewed.
Now excuse me while I go tell my roommate about these comments so she can gloat. ::)
Actually, you will tell her cause you will feel good about it and show off to enhance your own feelings.. but hey ;)
Quote from: Myself on September 19, 2010, 01:54:25 PM
Actually, you will tell her cause you will feel good about it and show off to enhance your own feelings.. but hey ;)
My roommate actually really is a very sore winner.
But yeah, I'm also spreading the cheer. :)
Btw, seeing your avatar I'd suggest against black eyeliner.. because of the forehead bossing natural shadow it is quite an overdo. I'd highly recommend to put eyeshadow but bright colors to undo the natural shadow, they could help I think.
That is not to say anything is wrong or something like that, just I think it is a way to make things better.
Quote from: Myself on September 19, 2010, 03:20:58 PM
Btw, seeing your avatar I'd suggest against black eyeliner.. because of the forehead bossing natural shadow it is quite an overdo. I'd highly recommend to put eyeshadow but bright colors to undo the natural shadow, they could help I think.
That is not to say anything is wrong or something like that, just I think it is a way to make things better.
Thanks for the advice, but the shadow actually looks much darker in the pic than in real life because of contrast. Also my general style is atypical because I'm never really hanging around very "normal" crowds. The only people I ever hang around are very alternative in style and in comparison I dress very plain. I've toned things down quite a bit since my punker days, but I really can never see myself in 'business casual' style eye makeup.
Quote from: Ayaname on September 19, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
Thanks for the advice, but the shadow actually looks much darker in the pic than in real life because of contrast. Also my general style is atypical because I'm never really hanging around very "normal" crowds. The only people I ever hang around are very alternative in style and in comparison I dress very plain. I've toned things down quite a bit since my punker days, but I really can never see myself in 'business casual' style eye makeup.
I think you look great and completely passable.You actually look like this girl I went to school with except you have darker hair.She was considered attractive.
Quote from: Myself on September 19, 2010, 03:20:58 PM
Btw, seeing your avatar I'd suggest against black eyeliner.. because of the forehead bossing natural shadow it is quite an overdo. I'd highly recommend to put eyeshadow but bright colors to undo the natural shadow, they could help I think.
That is not to say anything is wrong or something like that, just I think it is a way to make things better.
I think the other way around, lol. Ayaname has very beautiful eyes and I think the eyeliner helps bring them out. But I'm biased, I think she's incredibly beautiful I used to know a girl that looks just like her.
I have to agree with Rejennyrated ! she knows where she's commin from . Not all women have huge rears ! ellen
I think you look just fine..
Quote from: CindyJames on September 19, 2010, 03:32:30 AM
I think you look fine. I have minimal hip and get by in 'tight' jeans; often to the compliment of 'bitch' from my gg friends :laugh:.
Cindy
I'm pre-HRT and get a similar reaction to Cindy, except from my mother... I also tend to avoid hip huggers, which enables me to pull the belt in a little tighter around my waist, which adds a little shape..
Ayaname, I think you look fine but as always, there's place for some improvement :) What I'd do:
-Wear a little bit shorter sweater which ends around your waist, don't pull it down over your pants. (Although I admit I don't really see where your waist is on the lower picture because the body melts together with your arms due to the color and the pattern of the sweater.)
-Use a belt like Kelly said, but not around the waist but around the hips, as low as possible and as contrasty as possible. Not white but some lighter color than your other clothing. I've seen many younger girls doing it to emphasize their hips.
my 2 cents :)
oh and one more thing, though it's a bit off: straighten your shoulders or your spine! Your right arm hangs lower than the other and it's usually a sign of bad posture. (I know because I have that too :) )
g
Quote from: eshaver on September 20, 2010, 10:36:27 AM
I have to agree with Rejennyrated ! she knows where she's commin from . Not all women have huge rears ! ellen
I actually couldn't be happier with my "rear". Despite my small hips, it's actually quite large. It's usually one of the first things I get complimented on. ;D
@ ggina,
Thank you for the advice. I have tried many different ways of wearing belts, pants, sweaters ...etc., but for me a lot of the textbook solutions to my problem don't seem to apply to me. I have a very long torso and so the gap between my hip bone and where my thighs curve out seems to be the best place to wear belts. Also when I wear shorter shirts it only makes my torso look smaller including the tops of my hip bone. it can actually create the illusion of a muffin top :embarrassed:
It only makes everything under it look smaller.
Quote from: ggina on September 20, 2010, 02:08:46 PM
oh and one more thing, though it's a bit off: straighten your shoulders or your spine! Your right arm hangs lower than the other and it's usually a sign of bad posture. (I know because I have that too :) )
Ha! I never noticed it was that bad until I looked back at the pics. My posture is something I work on pretty often, but I've had a twisted rib cage for quite a few years so it'll take more than good posture to fix it I think. I've just never noticed that it made one arm hang lower. Thanks for pointing that out.
wow - Ayaname
I have always liked women - so in a non sisterly way. You look great. Totally doable. But not me - the parts no longer work. I have been reading a lot of talk about breasts. And having them is great fun - I am still new to HRT - Getting breasts -- but I really want female hips and padding. I hope to look as good as you do already. Good luck. And as nice as all those things are - I think you have a really pretty face and great eyes. What a doll - guys must be crazy about you.
Quote from: rejennyrated on September 18, 2010, 05:52:58 PM
Actually small hips look MUCH better in trousers than they do in skirts.
True ... and a major part of the reason you'll rarely see me in a skirt ... :(
Quote from: Ayaname on September 18, 2010, 04:56:11 PM
Now, I know it looks ok as long I have a shirt on that shows the size of my waist, but if I wear a sweater, that's when I really start feeling self conscious:
I agree that the photo with the t-shirt looks better than the one with the hoodie, but I think both look fine. If you don't think so, find a different top or some pants that you think look better with that one.
Meh! As usual you look fantastic! With your small waist, your hips really don't have to be big and you look very well proportioned.
okay, not trying to steal the topic :) just thought I'd show you how I do it, because we have similar measurements. Here's a pic how I looked a few years before hrt, well except the two bulges up there :) Apart from those, I still go out like this and I'm in male mode at the moment but as I don't like to wear very feminine clothing, I don't think this style is going to change much in the future.
(EDIT: picture deleted because the person I wanted to show it has seen it :) )
So the point is I really like this shirt because of how it accentuates the shape. I got it in the men's department :) but it's a small size. I like it because the patterns are curving to the inside and thereby create an illusion of a waist. I also like how it ends a bit wider than the pants themselves hence making the hips also seem wider. In the women's department one can find more daring patterns if one looks carefully (these are esentially straight vertical lines but womens' tend to curve in a bit), although wearing blouses may not be your style. But it's true that some of them have been specifically made for women conscious about their waist :)
fyi, my waist is 33" and being lean as hell, it won't get much smaller because my large ribcage won't let that happen. Hips are at 39" so the WHR is far from being distinctly feminine. But nevertheless I think this looks okay. Nothing more, just okay. Remember, it's all about creating an illusion and women are the masters of this discipline :)
g
(sorry for the messed up pic, had to edit out some details)
Gina
I am not trying to be critical - but your photo - to me clearly says BOY. Whereas Ayaname - says girl. And having nothing to do with bulging parts. Sure a thinner waist - or illusion of narrowing at that point - helps hips seem wider. I think a bigger one is being thinner at the knee and quads - widening then at hips. Woman's slacks in contrast to a mans are more narrow from the bottom - rather than straight legged. Getting wider toward hips - with lots more butt room. It's easier to get more narrow at ankles and knee cap - than waist - for several reasons. The other is if the slacks waist goes up to the normal female waist. And choose a top that tucks in - But most sweaters are not designed that way.
no problem with the critical approach Becky :) but I think I've been very specific about that this is a boy picture (well except those :) ) and a quite old one at that. I've only put this up to show Ayaname some ideas about optical illusion because she might be interested in that if she feels having some problems there. Like, vertical stripes make seem someone taller, hence more slender; but horizontals do the opposite, curving lines create curves where there aren't, and so on.
Actually the jeans I was wearing were women's :) and not straight legged but somewhat wider at the bottom, don't know what they call them. I just don't have the hips to fill them out properly so the lower part seems wider than it should.
btw, Ayaname, may I ask what your measurements are (waist/hip ratio)?
g
Quote from: ggina on September 22, 2010, 05:13:01 PM
no problem with the critical approach Becky :) but I think I've been very specific about that this is a boy picture (well except those :) ). I've only put this up to show Ayaname some ideas about optical illusion because she might be interested in that if she feels having some problems there. Like, vertical stripes make seem someone taller, hence more slender; but horizontals do the opposite, curving lines create curves where there aren't, and so on.
Actually the jeans I was wearing were women's :) and not straight legged but somewhat wider at the bottom, don't know what they call them. I just don't have the hips to fill them out properly so the lower part seems wider than it should.
btw, Ayaname, may I ask what your measurements are (waist/hip ratio)?
g
The shirt you're wearing in your picture actually has the same exact pattern as one I almost bought the other day :D (it was too expensive though :( ).
My waist is close to 30" and my hips are about 37.5"
My waist is close to 30" and my hips are about 37.5"
[/quote]
I'm pre hrt and those are my measurements and I don't look like that.Maybe it's because you have slim shoulders.How do they measure?
Quote from: tori319 on September 23, 2010, 02:05:05 AM
My waist is close to 30" and my hips are about 37.5"
I'm pre hrt and those are my measurements and I don't look like that.Maybe it's because you have slim shoulders.How do they measure?
My shoulders are a tad under 16" across.
yeah
This is totally not fair. My measurements are about identical - more like 38. But boy legs and butt. No fat there yet on hips. I wish - but I have known women that are athletic and have strong legs - although thinner towards knee. Mine are too muscled. Plus my inseam is only 30. Which is by all accounts I've read - is typically female. Yet short and will always seem stubby. I'm still built like a girl hockey player - I want to be a delicate princess. Anatomically - the greater trochanter - spelling may be off - is the bone of skeleton that will will be widest part of skeleton. About same level as crotch. I always think of hips to also include the area right below and a bit behind that - that goes into butt. Where the secondary sexual characteristics of fat deposition take place. I would really like that more than breasts. Yeah - that's right - I want a big soft butt and hips - the kind most real women try hard to get rid of.
Quote from: Ayaname on September 23, 2010, 02:25:37 AM
My shoulders are a tad under 16" across.
If it really bothers you maybe you should try a Waist cincher.
Many natural women have a boyish frame. It is about dressing to suit your shape and disguising the bad bits. For example, like my Mum, I have short legs and a long body, so it is no good dressing as if I had long slim legs. Long skirts are a no no and emphising my natural waist only make my legs look shorter. The fact that I currently need to lose a stone doesn't help!
In the UK study the wisdom of Gok Wan. His fashion fix programme has lots of good tips. It is available on the Channel 4 on demand website.
Quote from: Pippa on September 23, 2010, 11:04:24 AM
In the UK study the wisdom of Gok Wan. His fashion fix programme has lots of good tips. It is available on the Channel 4 on demand website.
Ahh, where would we be without a bit of Gok watching! He's cute too but I don't rate my chances of turning him :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: tori319 on September 23, 2010, 10:54:55 AM
If it really bothers you maybe you should try a Waist cincher.
huh? Should I be bothered? ???
Quote from: Ayaname
My shoulders are a tad under 16" across.
huh? Should I be bothered?
No-no you shouldn't be bothered by that at all :)
In fact, I think this is the key of you looking girly and me not. My shoulders are 19" wide and it makes both the waist and hips just disappear in proportion, while yours are narrower thus putting more emphasis on the lower parts, making the WHR seem smaller than it actually is.
As for waist cinchers, I'm thinking of getting one someday but I don't think you need it :)
g
Quote from: ggina on September 23, 2010, 03:15:22 PM
No-no you shouldn't be bothered by that at all :)
In fact, I think this is the key of you looking girly and me not. My shoulders are 19" wide and it makes both the waist and hips just disappear in proportion, while yours are narrower thus putting more emphasis on the lower parts, making the WHR seem smaller than it actually is.
As for waist cinchers, I'm thinking of getting one someday but I don't think you need it :)
g
Ahh, good good. :D
I actually did wear a cincher for a while when I first started out, only I wouldn't wear it on my waist. Instead I'd hike it up to the middle of my ribs to try compressing my rib cage a little. I used to try sleeping in it because I was hoping to reset my ribs, but after a while I just gave up because it was disturbing my sleep. I think it was causing my lungs to push against my heart because whenever I'd wear it my heart would start to beat faster. Also it hardly really made a difference even at it's tightest setting. It just wasn't worth all the discomfort.
well that's why they have to be put around the waist, not the ribs, it's in the name :)
I too tried this tightlacing but I too thought it wasn't worth it. Sleeping? Ah, forget it... Even at some very light setting I couldn't sleep with the damn thing on so somewhere in middle of my first night, after rolling around in my bed for hours, I just got it off and angrily threw it away :)
The problem with lacing is that even if you do it 24-7 for two years (geez that's a lot of pain!), the ribs will slowly get back to their original size after a certain period of not wearing the stuff. So it's not permanent thus not worth it. However, a cincher is made for light everyday use, it can give a little shape for someone who needs it by compressing mainly the waist and a little bit the floating ribs. My main concern with this is you can't go to the beach wearing them :)
g
Quote from: ggina on September 23, 2010, 03:15:22 PM
No-no you shouldn't be bothered by that at all :)
In fact, I think this is the key of you looking girly and me not. My shoulders are 19" wide and it makes both the waist and hips just disappear in proportion, while yours are narrower thus putting more emphasis on the lower parts, making the WHR seem smaller than it actually is.
As for waist cinchers, I'm thinking of getting one someday but I don't think you need it :)
g
Thanks for explaining it for me.
Quote from: tori319 on September 24, 2010, 02:43:32 AM
Thanks for explaining it for me.
hm? :) (Do you mean that I answered something that wasn't intended for me? There's still a place for your reply as well :) )
g
Quote from: ggina on September 24, 2010, 02:56:08 PM
hm? :) (Do you mean that I answered something that wasn't intended for me? There's still a place for your reply as well :) )
g
No, I meant thank you for explaining it.You said what I meant to say but didn't.