Hi everyone,
I am a transgendered MTF who has only just come out of the closet and is looking to start hormones.
I don't want to rush anything but at the same time I get the impression that I should, because the longer I wait the lesser the affect the HRT will have on facial feminization.
So I have a few questions....
1) Is it advisable to start HRT soon due to my age? (i'm 26.5)
2) How do I deal with the fertility issue? (I would like to have kids, but I know HRT makes you sterile)
3) How would I approach the issue of HRT with my employer?
4) Can I take HRT for say 1 year without them noticing and still present as male at work?
Any advice is welcome.
Hugs,
Jessica xo
1) Is it advisable to start HRT soon due to my age? (i'm 26.5)
Yes but you need to work with a gender therapist to start with.
2) How do I deal with the fertility issue? (I would like to have kids, but I know HRT makes you sterile)
Sperm bank.
3) How would I approach the issue of HRT with my employer?
This is a tough one without knowing anything about your employer.
4) Can I take HRT for say 1 year without them noticing and still present as male at work?
You will not know until you know. Hormones and puberty are diferant for everyone. Some people go for almost a year before they start to see results from HRT and others start to develop in a few months. So there is no way to know.
Thanks for your info cynthialee.
I am seeing a gender therapist next week and while I won't jump into anything, I'm just asking so I know what I should expect and what my options are.
With sperm banking, do they take a lot of sperm? I'd just worry if you stored a little of it and it wasn't useful when you needed it. Are there multiple deposits that you make?
I have a lot of questions, I don't want to rush into anything but at the same time I do. Hopefully the gender therapist will be helpful.
Thanks :)
Quote from: JessicaGurl on September 21, 2010, 10:10:57 AM
Hi everyone,
I am a transgendered MTF who has only just come out of the closet and is looking to start hormones.
I don't want to rush anything but at the same time I get the impression that I should, because the longer I wait the lesser the affect the HRT will have on facial feminization.
So I have a few questions....
1) Is it advisable to start HRT soon due to my age? (i'm 26.5)
2) How do I deal with the fertility issue? (I would like to have kids, but I know HRT makes you sterile)
3) How would I approach the issue of HRT with my employer?
4) Can I take HRT for say 1 year without them noticing and still present as male at work?
Any advice is welcome.
Hugs,
Jessica xo
1) you think 26 is too soon? I wish i did it at 16, but I started at 32, its never too soon, only not soon enough.
2) I can adopt kids, So can you, If your into guys, not much chance of having your own child, and by the way , before HRT i was not interested in men, only women, after just men. Some MTF's have similar switches but not all, so even if you like women now, you might not later.
3) The issue of HRT with an employer? They dont need to know until you feel you need to go full time.
4) I was able to keep HRT signs down for 6 months, after that I kinda had to go full time, since i started to look more female then male, and people were already calling me miss. You can probably keep it hidden for a 1 year depending on your genetics and how fast you progress.
1) Keep in mind that it usually takes a while to get through the therapy and stuff before you actually get HRT, so you might as well start working on that now. You'll have plenty of time to reconsider while you wait. Also, if you're going to do laser hair removal or electrolysis, you might want to go ahead and start now if possible.
2) HRT doesn't always make you sterile, but it usually does. (It's not a safe form of birth control, in other words.) Sperm bank, as others have said.
3) Find out what their policy on trans employees is, if possible. Try to find out without outing yourself until you know they're trans-friendly. I'm not sure what country you live in, but if it's the United States, be advised that there's no federal law against firing you for being trans. (There may be state laws, but not in all areas. Don't assume.)
4) It kinda depends on how fast the HRT works for you. If you continue presenting as male, many people will overlook the feminization even if it's obvious, though.
Quote from: Mara on September 21, 2010, 11:45:12 AM
3) Find out what their policy on trans employees is, if possible. Try to find out without outing yourself until you know they're trans-friendly. I'm not sure what country you live in, but if it's the United States, be advised that there's no federal law against firing you for being trans. (There may be state laws, but not in all areas. Don't assume.)
I'm in Australia, not too sure what the laws are like here. I would think they would be similar to the US. Will have to look into that.
Quote from: JessicaGurl on September 21, 2010, 11:54:14 AM
I'm in Australia, not too sure what the laws are like here. I would think they would be similar to the US. Will have to look into that.
I know a lot of TS people from Australia, trust me the laws there are very in favor of you. Heh, i was considering living there too, but the discovery channel does not do your country justice, it seems that there are more things per square inch that could kill you in Australia then any other country. You have it rough.
Quote from: Izumi on September 21, 2010, 11:57:30 AM
I know a lot of TS people from Australia, trust me the laws there are very in favor of you. Heh, i was considering living there too, but the discovery channel does not do your country justice, it seems that there are more things per square inch that could kill you in Australia then any other country. You have it rough.
Lol. The way Australia is portrayed in America is not really the way it is here. I have not seen a Kangaroo for months, A crocodile for years, or any kind of snake for probably a few years also. I know how the Aussie stereotype is portrayed in the states from my recent visit to California/LA/Anaheim. In reality, Australia is really very similar to the US culture wise and similar to most cities in the US. They are just a lot smaller. I'm surprised our deadly sun doesn't get more "exposure" (sorry bad pun).
PS: ALL Aussies find Fosters beer terrible. Dont drink it :P
Quote from: JessicaGurl on September 21, 2010, 12:07:07 PM
PS: ALL Aussies find Fosters beer terrible. Dont drink it :P
Yeah we know! - here in the UK I tend to prefer Coopers!
Fosters is like drinking... (censored cos I want to remain a moderator) ;)
oh and apologies for the OT post and as I see you are new Welcome to Susan's!
I'm sure you will soon find your feet and make friends with people here.
Please make sure you read the site terms and rules which can be found here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Certain features of the forum will not become active until you have made a certain number of posts without and problems. You find details of this here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html)
Susan's is a very welcoming and friendly place where you can safely explore your feelings and learn from others on the same road.
Take care.
J.
I just started today at age 30. I turned 30 about a month ago. I wish I'd had the opportunity to start earlier, but such is life.
I started at 30 too. Better late than never!
Quote from: JessicaGurl on September 21, 2010, 11:26:46 AM
Thanks for your info cynthialee.
With sperm banking, do they take a lot of sperm? I'd just worry if you stored a little of it and it wasn't useful when you needed it. Are there multiple deposits that you make?
I've been looking into this myself. As far as I can gather they ask you to abstain for 3 days prior to donation (for optimum quality / volume). They divide your ejaculate (average volume about 5 mls) into samples of 0.4 to 1ml which are stored individually. They assess it's quality before freezing so you'll know if it likely to be useful. Intra-uterine insemination by sperm has about an 11% chance if conception and 7% chance of carrying to term.
Multiple deposits increase your chances I suppose but it means multiple fees :(
If I get harder information I'll stick it on here
With Love
Laura
I went through it and you're correct, however I'd like to note two things:
1. Very tight underwear or tucks increase temperature and lower sperm count sometimes drastically. A full semen growth cycle is three months, which means that it's a good idea to stop tucking three months prior to depositing.
2. The amount of samples they can divide the semen into depends on sperm count.
3. Some research suggests that as many as 50% of all transgender women are infertile.
Tippe
Quote from: JessicaGurl on September 21, 2010, 12:07:07 PMPS: ALL Aussies find Fosters beer terrible. Dont drink it :P
I make my own, and find almost ALL commercial beer (with rare and famous exceptions) terrible. Plus, mine only costs me about 40 cents / bottle or less.
And BTW, I'm 54 and haven't started yet, so you're WAY ahead of me...
Quote from: Izumi on September 21, 2010, 11:57:30 AM
I know a lot of TS people from Australia, trust me the laws there are very in favor of you. Heh, i was considering living there too, but the discovery channel does not do your country justice, it seems that there are more things per square inch that could kill you in Australia then any other country. You have it rough.
Hello Izumi,
I feel that i have the same experience as you as I am interested in girls ,but not boys. I am not sure if there is any change after I started my HRT for a longer. I just started HRT ffor 1.5 week. But I do not feel much change. How long have you been taking hormone?You look very feminate.
Quote from: saraharmstrong on September 21, 2010, 06:49:06 PM
Hello Izumi,
I feel that i have the same experience as you as I am interested in girls ,but not boys. I am not sure if there is any change after I started my HRT for a longer. I just started HRT ffor 1.5 week. But I do not feel much change. How long have you been taking hormone?You look very feminate.
I have been on hormones 1.8 yrs now and at 3 months i started to feel my attraction to women slip, and by 6 months i was already having no interest in them.
I wish I could have come to terms with stuff and started HRT at so young an age... Got mine started a little after my 48th B-day :-\
I'm 35 and, with luck, will be starting early next year.. No such thing as too late..
Quote from: rejennyrated on September 21, 2010, 12:16:19 PM
Yeah we know! - here in the UK I tend to prefer Coopers!
Fosters is like drinking... (censored cos I want to remain a moderator) ;)
Cooper's rocks.. I'm lucky enough to live in the same city as the Coopers brewery! Means we get all the small batch and special releases.. Fosters is like drinking horse urine..
Quote from: Tippe on September 21, 2010, 04:25:26 PM
I went through it and you're correct, however I'd like to note two things:
1. Very tight underwear or tucks increase temperature and lower sperm count sometimes drastically. A full semen growth cycle is three months, which means that it's a good idea to stop tucking three months prior to depositing.
2. The amount of samples they can divide the semen into depends on sperm count.
3. Some research suggests that as many as 50% of all transgender women are infertile.
Tippe
Raises her hand. Azospermia. My T never went high enough to make viable sperm. Even with suplimentation to my T I only was able to raise it too 225 ng/dl. One needs at least 325-350 with preferably in the 400-600 range to produce healthy sperm.
1) Is it advisable to start HRT soon due to my age? (i'm 26.5)If you're over 18, the answer is pretty much always "yes." (If you're under, it's still yes, with lots more caveats and legal, medical, and psychological complications.)
Also consider starting laser/electrolysis at the same time. The sooner your facial hair is gone, the better.
2) How do I deal with the fertility issue? (I would like to have kids, but I know HRT makes you sterile)Sperm bank -- but understand that it's not a guarantee, and maybe you just have to learn to accept that, like many other women, you can't have children of your own.
3) How would I approach the issue of HRT with my employer?Why on earth would you want to discuss your medical care with your employer, unless it directly affects your work? If you mean coming out in general, that's a whole different topic -- and an extremely important one. But there's no need to come out just yet.
4) Can I take HRT for say 1 year without them noticing and still present as male at work?Yes. Okay, maybe if you're a porn star or a Calvin Klein underwear model or something, people might notice. But unless you need to take your shirt off for your job, it's really quite unlikely anyone will notice -- if you don't want them to. You can (or should) even start laser/electrolysis, though the changes associated with that are more obvious. You'll be surprised how much of what people see they unconsciously ignore.
I agree with pretty much all of Andrea James' (http://www.tsroadmap.com) opinions about HRT (and just about everything else about transition) to be spot-on. In particular, this:
QuoteYou can hide the effects of hormones from others for as long as you want in virtually every case. Those who say they can't seem to want people to notice.
(link (http://www.tsroadmap.com/physical/hormones.html))
However, don't underestimate that caveat: "wanting people to notice" can be a much more powerful desire than you would imagine. Once I started my transition, I found it really, REALLY hard to deal with being in the closet in certain areas of my life. I quickly became far less worried about people noticing than about figuring out how to go full time as soon as possible.
1) Is it advisable to start HRT soon due to my age? (i'm 26.5)
By all means. I started at 54 and I have some good development
2) How do I deal with the fertility issue? (I would like to have kids, but I know HRT makes you sterile)
As others have said, sperm bank
3) How would I approach the issue of HRT with my employer?
You do not have to tell them anything. Your records are protected by HIPPA.
4) Can I take HRT for say 1 year without them noticing and still present as male at work?
In most cases , yes you can. But you may not wish to after a point.
Quote from: Izumi on September 21, 2010, 11:57:30 AM
I know a lot of TS people from Australia, trust me the laws there are very in favor of you. Heh, i was considering living there too, but the discovery channel does not do your country justice, it seems that there are more things per square inch that could kill you in Australia then any other country. You have it rough.
most of the things that kill also drink lotsa lager and have sweaty stubble.
Australia is OK for TS.
Quote from: lilacwoman on September 22, 2010, 02:39:34 AM
most of the things that kill also drink lotsa lager and have sweaty stubble.
Australia is OK for TS.
and are more likely to kill you with their car when they drive home...
Keep in mind that some trans women will develop breasts incredibly fast, especially if they already had certain hormonal traits. Andrea James' observation is true of many trans women, but not all.
Hey, started at 25 so only a year behind you & yah Australia is good for TG support.
Our government provides free Transgender specialist psychologists and endocrinologists so you dont pay for any of your treatment. Just got to be a small about for the hormones and although currently medi-care doesnt cover SRS, Labor has agreed to review its policy on TG Medicare...care though so fingers crossed.
//Coopers Pale Ale Is best beer! :)
Unless you already have the features of a neanderthal 26 isn't too late. It can also help if you look younger than you are. I started at 27 and my youthful appearance seemed to make all the difference.
Quote from: JasminB on September 22, 2010, 03:45:10 PM
Hey, started at 25 so only a year behind you & yah Australia is good for TG support.
Our government provides free Transgender specialist psychologists and endocrinologists so you dont pay for any of your treatment. Just got to be a small about for the hormones and although currently medi-care doesnt cover SRS, Labor has agreed to review its policy on TG Medicare...care though so fingers crossed.
//Coopers Pale Ale Is best beer! :)
Now we just need a surgeon in Australia who's reputation isn't bad or worse..