how do i even begin to write a letter to them?
i've told my parents about being trans, they knew i have been in counseling, and they are aware of my name preference. (which they disregard entirely.)
how do i tell them how important this is to me? how crucial it is for them to at least try to understand?
how do i tell them when my mother threatened to take away my health insurance if she found out i ever started to take hormones? (which i have...) when she'll tell me i've betrayed her and the family and i'm walking all over everyone?
i know who i am and what i want. i am confident in my decisions. i have no doubts that i have put myself on the path to happiness. all i want is for them to know that this is who i am, and i want them to have the opportunity to accept me. to call me elijah. i don't ask for permission, i only ask for a moment of their time, and i ask in hopes that i'll have their love and respect.
they need to hear my words before i feel like i can go home for the upcoming holidays. i can't sit through a thanksgiving where no one knows who i am. i can hardly pick up the phone anymore because i hear my name.
how can i even begin.
dear mom and dad...
the thing is that i don't need my mother's insurance for T. i've been going to a wonderful sliding-scale clinic and i can easily afford my doctor visits, and they send me to a lab that does my bloodwork for free. since the actual T only needs to be purchased every so often, that isn't too bad, either. i'm just worried about some unexpected medical emergency coming up - those can happen, and you want to have insurance when they do.
i'm out on my own (and in a different state) and she only gives me a little money every now and then. she's a control person, though, and this is what she can do to still try and control me.
i think i can bring up the issue about name/pronouns, though. it won't go over well, but it has to go over better than the T-talk.
I don't know how to help with talking about transition; I had to cut out my family for reasons unrelated to my gender identity. I want you to know you're not alone if they won't listen though, and if they can't accept you, not talking to them anymore isn't the end of the world. After a while, it can even be nice not to be attached to a family.
Quote from: littlemonster on September 25, 2010, 11:35:51 PM
the thing is that i don't need my mother's insurance for T. i've been going to a wonderful sliding-scale clinic and i can easily afford my doctor visits, and they send me to a lab that does my bloodwork for free. since the actual T only needs to be purchased every so often, that isn't too bad, either. i'm just worried about some unexpected medical emergency coming up - those can happen, and you want to have insurance when they do.
It's great that you can afford the T on your own, but as you say, if a medical emergency comes up you're going to want insurance. If you're already out on your own, I'd probably not tell your mother as it seems like less of an issue. (As opposed to you being home and her noticing changes) At least not until you've got your own insurance and are fully independent. Incorrect pronouns can be annoying, but your health is pretty important.