Like I said here a few months ago: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,76875.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,76875.0.html)
"I've noticed that a lot of the post-op girls have left Susan's & the few that remain don't post anymore. Normal (Yeah I know..that word again ::)) life is so addictive, so it isn't that difficult to comprehend why they/we leave. I've been seriously considering leaving too because I feel that there's nothing for me here anymore :(. Do you feel the same way or is it just me?"
Yeah, life's been marvelous & hectic at the same time since I had my GRS a little over a year ago. The normalcy I've achieved is beyond what I could've imagined. This is what life is. This is what my life was supposed to be.
I often hear people on here complain and fight about who is "more trans than thou". How ridiculous!! There are those peeps that even say "I'm not trans-anything" . That's cool if that's true, but if you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).
I've recently discovered that I'm not trans-anything anymore. In the past, even post-op, I still saw myself as a trans-something, but all that's changed, and I've realised that I'm a woman, nothing else. I don't believe that I'm better than anyone else here. No, that is not what this is is about.
On the contrary, you guys have supported me throughout my transition; you've been there when I had GRS and I needed someone the most. That's why I've come to say good bye. I must go now. I'm cured and yeah I'm not trans-anything anymore. I'm going out there to live my life as the woman I've always been without the "trans" stuff just like all those people that left before me. :)
Thank you all very kindly for all your marvelous support and compassion. Please delete my account.
Fair winds and a following sea, Valentina.
I hope your new journey into life is a pleasure cruise.
Hugs
bon voyage'
Have a wonderful journey Valentina.
Quote from: Valentina on October 09, 2010, 02:49:38 PM
if you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).
And as I said in the previous thread : Some of us who have covered the ground feel a calling to remain, or as in my case to return after a long absence, in order to offer some of that help and support otherwise it could all to easily become a case of the blind leading the blind.
But if that is not your calling then I agree. The end of the road is a good time to depart.
So fare well and good luck. It is you decision of course but I suggest that unless you particularly want all trace of you removed, you simply remove your avatar and any personal information and render your account here dormant. Then at a later date if you did decide to return for some reason...
I wish you a long happy and successful life.
Best wishes for a happy adventure... Take care
Hugs :icon_chick:
Hiya,
I've come to the same conclusion so my avatar is changed and my profile info deleted. I may occasionally come back with a question or two but for now its also time to go and live my life. Susan's for me has changed as so many of the people I had some kind of contact with have also gone so Its time for me too.
So to all my friends at Susan's take care and be all you want to be.
Stardust
Take care Stardust. Miss you.
take care Stardust. Fair winds and a following sea on your journey of life.
Hugs
Good luck to you both starting a new chapter of your lives.
Good luck on your journeys Valentina and Stardust, may they be filled with bliss.
Vaarwel!
I agree with Perlita, it is sad that Valentina and stardust have decided to leave. They have so much to offer, so much experience, support, their own lives to share.
My experience however, suggests that little will change their minds other than themselves.
I do, however, understand that they want to live the lives they've fought so hard to achieve.
Good luck Stardust and Valentina! Enjoy your closure, it was fun whilst you were here.
Personally, I can't seem to find closure, but I'm not sad about that, life is about continuance and evolution. I have pending issues of SRS revision in Jan '11, and *finally* getting my birth certificate changed in 2 weeks! But, something tells me there will be other things that pop up, that I will consult on here about. Something tells me that someone here, new or old, will post up a question, that's so odd, that it just happens to fall within my realm of experience, and I can help them, to pay it forward for those up and coming folks. Maybe making their road a lil bit easier.
Take Care! I wish you both the best!
Melan
Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you. You come here because you need our support. You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition. And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".
Nice.
We all start out as students. Then we become practitioners. And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned. The student becomes the teacher. This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth. For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks". It's how we learn. It's how we get better. It's how we grow stronger.
Quote from: Julie Marie on October 12, 2010, 08:24:15 AM
Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you. You come here because you need our support. You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition. And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".
Nice.
We all start out as students. Then we become practitioners. And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned. The student becomes the teacher. This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth. For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks". It's how we learn. It's how we get better. It's how we grow stronger.
Well that is their choice in life and I'm happy for them. Just moving on in life, trying to have a somewhat normal life that they should have had from the beginning. I too have decided to move on in life, I reached my 6 month postop recently and have more important things to do in life such as trying to find a job to support myself and my future. I wasn't going to chime in but after reading this decided to. Myself and others I know just left the community completely here in my home city due to the high level of drama and such. We have just moved on in life. It is the persons own choice what to do in life and not others. Respect each others choices in life we might have a commonality in life but we are all still individuals and choice and happiness is the most important thing.
Respect!
Good luck and fare well, my sister!
Feeling normal is great, isn't it?
-Sandy
I transitioned and had SRS at 24, in 1974. It was a LONG hard road that nearly took my life repeatedly and DID claim the lives of many that I knew. When I achieved my own miraculous liberation, I wanted nothing more than to live a dull ordinary life, which I did for 30 years. I didn't consider myself "trans-anything", just a woman, and got on with life.
Decades passed and I didn't think about it again until I was nearly 50 and single again. Through the anonymity of the Internet, I ventured out to see what the current state of the world was like. Much has changed but some things haven't.
Being so "ancient" I feel my contribution is mostly as a historian :o
I have to say that, part of me agrees with Julie Marie.
Though, I doubt it will make any difference, so I wish them both well.
If either or both do come back it will be really nice to see them again.
While I respect and understand your decision, I do agree with Perlita and Julie Marie.
After recieving advice from those who travelled the road before you, you could pass that wisdom to the persons who follow in your footsteps.
Then again, I am in no position to talk as I have nothing to give to you kind people and my girlfriend is also not very active here.
Any road, good luck and may you find lifelong happyness.
Quote from: pkmvancouver on October 12, 2010, 10:04:27 AM
Well that is their choice in life and I'm happy for them. Just moving on in life, trying to have a somewhat normal life that they should have had from the beginning. I too have decided to move on in life, I reached my 6 month postop recently and have more important things to do in life such as trying to find a job to support myself and my future. I wasn't going to chime in but after reading this decided to. Myself and others I know just left the community completely here in my home city due to the high level of drama and such. We have just moved on in life. It is the persons own choice what to do in life and not others. Respect each others choices in life we might have a commonality in life but we are all still individuals and choice and happiness is the most important thing.
Respect!
I completely agree with you on this. It's their choice and nobody owes anybody anything here or anywhere else. And to be quite honest, I see this sort of emplied "debt" to the community a bit offensive to say the least, but we'd better leave it at that. Sigh. ::)
Good luck Valentina and Stardust.
Quote from: Northern Jane on October 12, 2010, 11:48:28 AM
I transitioned and had SRS at 24, in 1974. It was a LONG hard road that nearly took my life repeatedly and DID claim the lives of many that I knew. When I achieved my own miraculous liberation, I wanted nothing more than to live a dull ordinary life, which I did for 30 years. I didn't consider myself "trans-anything", just a woman, and got on with life.
Decades passed and I didn't think about it again until I was nearly 50 and single again. Through the anonymity of the Internet, I ventured out to see what the current state of the world was like. Much has changed but some things haven't.
Being so "ancient" I feel my contribution is mostly as a historian :o
Thank you Jane, you got there before me, I feel exactly the same as you, I had SRS in 1985 when I was 28, long before the days of internet support, decades have passed but some things stay the same, I just share my experience and hope it can help others going thru transition, as for anonymity, well when I joined Susan's a few years ago I actually posted up my photo in my avatar (naively) when another member made a rude remark about my boobs, anyway that person is now a ''guest'' and Im still here, anonymity is nice it gives you some privacy, but it is nice to share.
p
Fairwell and good luck!
good luck as well.
Quote from: valentina
"I've noticed that a lot of the post-op girls have left Susan's & the few that remain don't post anymore. Normal (Yeah I know..that word again ::)) is so addictive, so it isn't that difficult to comprehend why they/we leave. I've been seriously considering leaving too because I feel that there's nothing for me here anymore :(. Do you feel the same way or is it just me?"
Yeah, 's been marvelous & hectic at the same time since I had my GRS a little over a year ago. The normalcy I've achieved is beyond what I could've imagined. This is what life is. This is what my life was supposed to be.
I often hear people on here complain and fight about who is "more trans than thou". How ridiculous!! There are those peeps that even say "I'm not trans-anything" . That's cool if that's true, but if you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).
I've recently discovered that I'm not trans-anything anymore. In the past, even post-op, I still saw myself as a trans-something, but all that's changed, and I've realised that I'm a woman, nothing else. I don't believe that I'm better than anyone else here. No, that is not what this is is about.
On the contrary, you guys have supported me throughout my transition; you've been there when I had GRS and I needed someone the most. That's why I've come to say good bye. I must go now. I'm cured and yeah I'm not trans-anything anymore. I'm going out there to live my life as the woman I've always been without the "trans" stuff just like all those people that left before me. :)
Thank you all very kindly for all your marvelous support and compassion. Please delete my account.
how dare you leave "the community" to live a normal life, huh? you don't deserve it. you need to live with the "trans' label on your forehead for the rest of your life. you will "never be a real woman" ever. you just can't have a normal life. If I can't have it, you can't either. you're "trans" and "trans" you'll die. you transitioned to be a professional transsexual, remember?
hahahaha :laugh: oh the smell of envy... ;)
I also want to wish you luck, Valentina and no, there's no debt of any kind. God no, this isn't a business (hopefully), and you as well as others are free to do whatever you wish.
Quoteif you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).
It's been many years since I don't call myself "trans_anything". Like you, I'm a woman, nothing more nothing less, but it's hard to leave a place where you've met so many wonderful people. Think of it as a learning institution (a university maybe) where you've learnt so much, and you come back to it once in a whilst to revive those moments, and perhaps to share what you've learnt.
Quote from: Julie Marie on October 12, 2010, 08:24:15 AM
Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you. You come here because you need our support. You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition. And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".
Nice.
We all start out as students. Then we become practitioners. And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned. The student becomes the teacher. This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth. For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks". It's how we learn. It's how we get better. It's how we grow stronger.
I really agree with you Julie!! =/ I don't know how most of you feel, but no matter how much surgery I get, even if in the future I get fully operating female organs and can have babies etc, I will always always consider myself transsexual. I am now and will always consider myself a transwoman. Saying she isn't trans anything anymore makes sad to read, it seems as though she's ashamed to be transsexual, and transition (imo) is NOT a cure. But to each their own. Good luck to everyone <3
I don't think there's anything wrong with a post transitioner leaving the T community behind. There's nothing preventing such a person from coming back after a decade or two and offering whatever support they can.
Good luck to you all.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on October 23, 2010, 05:15:20 PM
I don't think there's anything wrong with a post transitioner leaving the T community behind. There's nothing preventing such a person from coming back after a decade or two and offering whatever support they can.
Good luck to you all.
As indeed I did, Northern Jane did, and Pretty Pauline did. So relax everyone - the current departures may yet be back in a while.
Quote from: rejennyrated on October 23, 2010, 05:29:28 PM
As indeed I did, Northern Jane did, and Pretty Pauline did. So relax everyone - the current departures may yet be back in a while.
Me Too! So that's four of us here. It seems like everyone I meet who had surgery a decade or more ago dropped out of touch for several years.
Quote from: Julie Marie on October 12, 2010, 08:24:15 AM
Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you. You come here because you need our support. You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition. And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".
Nice.
We all start out as students. Then we become practitioners. And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned. The student becomes the teacher. This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth. For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks". It's how we learn. It's how we get better. It's how we grow stronger.
From one of the students - my love and appreciation to the teachers. It's not my place to kick at the departed but those who stay have my gratitude.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on October 23, 2010, 05:31:44 PM
Me Too! So that's four of us here. It seems like everyone I meet who had surgery a decade or more ago dropped out of touch for several years.
That's perfectly natural. I mean pretty much everyone who goes down this road has a he[[ of a fight and has paid a high price. Like any battle-weary veteran, it is nice to enjoy the peace and quiet for awhile.
"Several years"? Would that be like
30? ROFL!
Godspeed. May peace and happiness always be yours. We will miss you.
E-hugs ... congratulations!
:) Lacey
What more can I add but this....
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore 'Goodbye-ee' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5ya_Gq8d4Q#)
Toddle-pip....
Have a good one hasta las vista baby..... :P
Quote from: Valeriedances on November 05, 2010, 09:36:00 AM
I agree and identify with this so much, thank you Valentina for saying it. Once transition is finished the time comes to assimilate into society as simply women and men.
I believe strongly this is part of the transition process and I, for one, am happy and cheer for those moving on with their lives. They show all of us the way and give hope to those just starting out that it can be done. There is hope for us all, if they can do it, so can we.
Exactly right! Those of us in mid-transition and early-transition are WAY encouraged by you gals who have gone the distance. Valerie, THANK YOU so much for hanging around here a while longer. Personally, I love your posts and am VERY encouraged and inspired by them. Mere words cannot express the depth of my gratitude to you.
:) Lacey Lynne
I was about to say the same thing as Lacey has Valery.
If people feel they must leave then that is their choice and god's speed to them. But those of you who've stayed, even just coming now and again, have a wealth of expereince and encouragement that is beyond price.
Hi Valentina
I had my operation 25 years ago and have build on my life again.
Like most of my gendersisters I'm living in stealth mode.
In my profession nobody knows I'm a post-op tgirl.
My friends, family and the others I love do know.
But, I was missing something, like people to talk with the same experiences.
Today I recieved a thanksletter from one of my sisters for giving some advice and support.
So, it makes a difference to be here or not.
I understand that now you want to expirience life as a normal women.
But, if you get second thoughts or doubts.........welcome back sister
I wish you a lot of love and happiness in your new life
You have achieved real freedom, Valentina and Stardust. Enjoy the fruits of your hard work, ladies.
Well some of us "old timers" do tend to wander back from time to time. I am not on here much because my life has taken off now that I am not straddled with the inaction caused by my own internal struggles. I do not post much when I do stop in because... well things seem well in hand and if I cannot actually contribute in some meaningful way then it is better just to nod and keep on going. Heck I even manage to log into chat about once a year. :)
For me it is just not here that I pulled back from but also from the LGBT (add any additional letters as you feel comfortable with) community at large because I feel absolutely no identity with them anymore. Probably still burned out after being very active and being repeatedly "punched in the face" by the more political groups that tend to focus more on the L & G. Much like here, I may also return there one day to see what I can learn or maybe even contribute.
Fret not about those who wander away. Things are well in hand here.
I hear you, Valentina. The best of luck to you. Your post has encouraged me to do the same thing. I feel that being here talking about "passing", "neo" vaginae, "how to act feminine" & "fighting for our rights" prevents me from transitioning completely even though I've been post-op for a while already. I still don't know what it is I'm supposed to be "fighting for". I've been legally, socially & physically female for some time now. Everybody treats me as such, and there's never been an issue. So when I hear that the "real world is a wicked place to be & there's no place like the 'community', I laugh my lungs out because that's the biggest lie I've ever heard. I've encountered more bigotry in the trans community from people who insist that I'm not really female but "a man who changed his sex". What utter nonsense.
Until some you realize that what you are is FEMALE, no buts, no conditions, no "sex change" no "man turned into a female", you will never have transitioned completely.
For those of you who want to remain in the so called community, good for you. That's your choice & I respect that, but enough with the "oh how very selfish of you" bull crap already. Like someone here said, nobody owes anybody anything....well.... unless you walked 1/2 a mile in my shoes and paid at least 5% of what I spent to get where I am now.
So thank you, it's been nice to meet some of you. I've enjoyed some of your posts, but that's about it. So long & enjoy your lives.
Best of luck to you, Blanche.
And you have said something that rings very true to me.
QuoteUntil some you realize that what you are is FEMALE, no buts, no conditions, no "sex change" no "man turned into a female", you will never have transitioned completely.
As sailors say "Fair winds and a following sea, My sister.
As blunt as Blanche's post is, I also undrstand some of what she's on about.
I don't dount she has met some obnoxious and beligerant post ops. I'm sorry to hear that.
But I too wish her well.
Quote from: Valeriedances on November 15, 2010, 10:09:00 AMThere are many areas of the site, but none seem to be the right fit for the fully transitioned person to discuss life topics and support with others in like position. I wish an area like that could be added, which could be a wonderful place to keep in touch with each other in some manner and to hear our milestones as life goes on.
That is something I very much miss, having "transitioned" nearly 37 years ago and knowing NO ONE in the same situation! 95% of life "stealth" is just woman's life and can be discussed with girlfriends but that remaining 5% is unique and only others in the same situation could begin to understand the implications. In all my years I have met only one other who transitioned in the early 70's and lived stealth - needless to say, we are friends and talk often.
Quote from: Northern Jane on November 15, 2010, 11:56:52 AM
That is something I very much miss, having "transitioned" nearly 37 years ago and knowing NO ONE in the same situation! 95% of life "stealth" is just woman's life and can be discussed with girlfriends but that remaining 5% is unique and only others in the same situation could begin to understand the implications. In all my years I have met only one other who transitioned in the early 70's and lived stealth - needless to say, we are friends and talk often.
As much as I can contribute to this conversation (not being post-op) I would echo the same sentiments. The same insecurities about our bodies, our sanity will still be there when its all said and done. And yes, 95% of the time having a poor self image of your post-op body can be discussed with those around you, but that 5% of the time when you can't just open up about your issues without having to educate even the most well meaning about your life story, there is a need for a place like this.
I'd even go so far as to admit, I am passing through myself (even as I just start the journey), there will come a time when I just want to live my life and not be trans anymore. But until we live in a world where we can dismiss our trans past as "yeah I had that surgically corrected years ago. Would you be a dear and pass the sugar?" and not watch the room go silent there will alway be a place for all of us here.
Quote from: regan on November 15, 2010, 12:12:11 PMThe same insecurities about our bodies, our sanity will still be there when its all said and done. And yes, 95% of the time having a poor self image of your post-op body can be discussed with those around you, but that 5% of the time when you can't just open up about your issues without having to educate even the most well meaning about your life story, there is a need for a place like this.
Personally I have no issues with my body - I rather like it ;D The topics that are unique are things like long-term HRT (like many decades), dealing with certain female medical questions (giving enough information without blowing one's stealth), and if/when/how to address the issue with a potential partner.
Hi Northern Jane :) I too have transitioned and live stealth for over 32 yrs , and I have to say not having a few sister friends to be able to confide in ,has been something ive missed too !!!!! , I am glad that i was able to find susans , it allowed me into some of these womens worlds and I have learned a thing or two ........ this coming from a woman who had NO idea there were such things available like voice lessons,HRT,Spiro :o :o :o????? I had no idea what they were nor that these things exsisted ,THANK GODDDD for orchis ;D ;D ;D lol lol and not needing letters in the 70's lol all this to say I am 89 days away from my day , and I am NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN TRANS ANYTHING , I am a WOMAN ,lol lol :laugh: and although we may have a few shall we say real winners ::) on this forum all in all I think its a great place to come and share our lifes experiences without judging others ,or crucifying them for there choices ...........
HUGS AND KISSES LADIES <3
Hi Girls and Boys Just an old broad here throwing in her two cent I just stoped by here a few days ago havent been here for many years. after all what does transistion mean. To many of us it is a dream a dream of living a so called normal life. moving from one place in life to another, I have been transistioning since before Stonewall all through the 60'S and 70's and so forth I guess I finshed my transisition about 15 years ago now I'm just the old lady next door. I think for me all I wanted all my life was to be what I am now. Not really the old lady but that is where we are all going. We go through hell to change what we feal is not right and the world fights us all the way. Then we reach a platu in life that we fought for, normalcy. HEE HEE big joke what is normal. But seriously, This is what we have strived for, not to be read anymore, passing every day, after awile it just gets like this is the way it was supposta be this is what I went through hell for. Just to live and let live to be able to live life as a member of society and not be singled out as a ->-bleeped-<- or crossdresser or what ever. I will say this for some of you younger kids It gets borrrrring but it's ok.
It's all most like fighting a war their is a lot of preperation ,learning to do do things different a lot of pain and suffering then the transistion of coming home to peace and quiet injoying the fruts of ones labor its kinda nice that its all over just to be a citizen in the the big world. You can put your uniform and purple hearts away in a drawr and just blend into society. Some of us will stay around in the life style forever its where they are comfortable and that is a good thing.Some of us just blend in to the big melting pot of homosapiens that make up the world. Be all that you wish to be! and be a good one. Harm none allong the way,All Blessings to each and everyone Thanks for allowing me to visit Nadine
What is my debt and to whom do I owe? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,89121.0.html)
Quote from: Natasha on December 15, 2010, 11:28:06 PM
What is my debt and to whom do I owe? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,89121.0.html)
Three hell maurys.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.celebritysouls.com%2FCelebrity%2520Souls%2FEntertainmetphotos%2FMaury%2520Povich.gif&hash=ba29a2a3c1b2a6c75db75d0f6a22df99d9b9533b)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.celebritysouls.com%2FCelebrity%2520Souls%2FEntertainmetphotos%2FMaury%2520Povich.gif&hash=ba29a2a3c1b2a6c75db75d0f6a22df99d9b9533b)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.celebritysouls.com%2FCelebrity%2520Souls%2FEntertainmetphotos%2FMaury%2520Povich.gif&hash=ba29a2a3c1b2a6c75db75d0f6a22df99d9b9533b)
i have never been involved in hte trans community, and there is pool of guilt in me for not giving out more even if it is information about my srs...i am hoping to do more for transgendered youth.
and yes you are no longer a trans female...but you owe it to those that seek help and need information
Best wishes to those of you who chose to just live your life, I'm sure there will always be a place here for you if you need it.