What's it like using the guys bathroom? I've used the one toilet room thing one time while working out but I mean the public bathroom where more than one person goes in. What's the bathroom laws? And what do you do to fit in? I don't want to go into the bathroom and some guy say "WTF are you doing in here?" that would be a nightmare.
It's like using the women's, but it's full of men and there are urinals. Seriously, that's it.
Men don't pay the slightest bit of attention in the toilets, so you're probably safe going in there.
If you don't look insanely feminine no body's going to notice you at all. Guys go into the bathrooms to piss, not scrutinize other men.
You go in, you shut the door, you piss, you wash your hands, you leave. You keep your eyes on the wall, floor, toilet, or sink; ignore the other guys in there.
There's nothing more complicated unless you decide to use your STP at the urinals. I'd recommend getting used to using the men's room first before you try that, especially if you think you might be piss-shy.
Quote from: kyril on October 14, 2010, 04:19:15 AM
You go in, you shut the door, you piss, you wash your hands, you leave. You keep your eyes on the wall, floor, toilet, or sink; ignore the other guys in there.
Yep, this is my routine. I always use the mens in public places unless there is a non gendered toilet like a disabled. I get stared at/laughed at more in the womens, probably because groups of girls like to stand around in there and stare at people (which is probably worse in a school!) whereas in the men's nobody looks at each other.
Yup I walk in, up to the urinal, pee wash my hands and leave. Unless you're obviously a female, guys don't care who's in there.
Honestly, I think i'd expect the "wtf are you doing in here" look, in the women's restroom
As the guys said here, it's simple, you go in, do your biz, and out you go. Men don't look at each other in the bathroom, unless they are drunk and there is a queue, in which case they engage in meaningless conversation. So, as long as you avoid crowded bars in the middle of the night you'll be fine.
Ironically I am having the exact same problem that you fear, getting asked wtf I'm doing in the gents. But going from your pic you seem to pass pretty well. Good luck!
It's generally so much better than having to use the ladies room. No one tries to talk to you, you don't have sinks/mirrors taken up by people doing make-up/hair for 10 minutes at a time, generally there aren't two or three people blabbing away incessantly (which makes me VERY pee-shy). Ugh I hated using the women's restroom, it's so great to be out of that mess now.
Using the men's room is stressful at first, especially if it's a crowded one. But it really quickly just becomes an in and out thing. Once you experience the fact that no one in there gives a crap about your crap, it's a walk in the park. I find it a lot less stressful than the women's bathroom, especially when I started trying to pass. I got yelled at once 0_0 After that, it was like.. never again lol
Quote from: niamh on October 14, 2010, 08:46:25 AM
As the guys said here, it's simple, you go in, do your biz, and out you go. Men don't look at each other in the bathroom, unless they are drunk and there is a queue, in which case they engage in meaningless conversation. So, as long as you avoid crowded bars in the middle of the night you'll be fine.
Ironically I am having the exact same problem that you fear, getting asked wtf I'm doing in the gents. But going from your pic you seem to pass pretty well. Good luck!
When I walk into the girls room, no one says anything but they give me this "OMG BOY!!" *scream* look. lol. This old woman gave me this look like "Ummm, wrong bathroom, get out" but I do pass 99% of the time. When I'm at the doctor all of them call me he until my mom has no choice but to say she and then they say she.
I get tense when people are talking or telling me to hurry up and even if I have a full bladder, I can't go at all. So I'm afraid I'll walk in and go in the stall and not be able to pee because I'm nervous. And there is probably going to be at least one guy who says "You're in the wrong bathroom" or worse, I run into a guy I know. At school I hate using the girls bathroom so what should I do to get them to either use a unisex bathroom or the office bathroom?
Quote from: Kentrie on October 14, 2010, 01:10:52 PM
I get tense when people are talking or telling me to hurry up and even if I have a full bladder, I can't go at all. So I'm afraid I'll walk in and go in the stall and not be able to pee because I'm nervous. And there is probably going to be at least one guy who says "You're in the wrong bathroom" or worse, I run into a guy I know. At school I hate using the girls bathroom so what should I do to get them to either use a unisex bathroom or the office bathroom?
Isn't there a wheel-chair access bathroom? It's common here in Europe but I don't know about where you are.
Kentrie - start by trying to use the men's somewhere where you don't know anyone and there won't be any time pressure. Like, next time you go to the mall or a fast food place or wherever there are public restrooms and you know you don't have to be anywhere anytime soon. Go in a stall and piss. Don't leave until you do. Do that a couple times and you'll realize that nothing's going to happen and you'll be able to relax.
Kyril- I know it wasn't directed at me, but thanks for that advice. I've been wondering what to do about the bathroom situation, and that actually helped me a bit.
What Kyril said, and start always using the men's room in places where the rest rooms are single-occupancy, if you're not doing this already. Using the men's room has a lot of practical advantages such as shorter lines, and people minding their own business. You might find it to be less stressful than using the women's bathroom.
You could also try unisex bathroom until you're more comfortable, too. Its what I plan on doing--though that's partially because I find male bathrooms disgusting (I've been in my fair share of them and each time makes me say, "ewww.....this place needs a good cleaning").
I haven't started using the mens room yet. I'm still saving up for an STP/packer. But every single time I go into the women's and wash my hands while girls are in there, they ALWAYS look at me like, "WTF??!!!" So, for now, in public, the bathrooms are usually empty, so it isn't a problem. At school, I wait for class to start so there isn't anyone in there, or I wait for everyone else to leave the bathroom before I exit the stall =/
When I go back to day school, most of the Freshman think I'm a guy and I want them to keep thinking that way as long as possible and if they see me in the girls room their going to either make fun of me, give me weird looks, run and tell a teacher there's a boy in the girls room or make a big deal of it and tell everyone and I've already got the jocks and other kids to stop making fun of me, some of them actually talk to me nicely and I don't want that messed up. It's frustrating because I can pull myself out of most of my depression and I think "Well, I'm a guy" and get happy and confident and as soon as I go to school, they throw me into an all girls class (They seperate the girls and boys at night school) and they call us "Young lady's" and "Girls" and I have a bladder problem so I have to go as much as I can and I'm only allowed to use the girls room (not the unisex or office bathroom) and when I'm in a girls only class, I feel like I shouldn't be in there and I get more depressed.
Ugh, I'm sorry, I could never tolerate being in a girl's only class. I quit every sport I played as soon as I aged out of the coed leagues (or the leagues that would let me play on the boys' teams). Even with people knowing me as female, I still couldn't tolerate being in an all-girls anything. Can't imagine how I would've felt if I'd already socially transitioned...think I'd likely have flat refused to go to school. (It's a good thing you're not doing that)
How soon can you go back to the day school where they know you as male?
Quote from: kyril on October 14, 2010, 10:18:24 PM
Ugh, I'm sorry, I could never tolerate being in a girl's only class. I quit every sport I played as soon as I aged out of the coed leagues (or the leagues that would let me play on the boys' teams). Even with people knowing me as female, I still couldn't tolerate being in an all-girls anything. Can't imagine how I would've felt if I'd already socially transitioned...think I'd likely have flat refused to go to school. (It's a good thing you're not doing that)
How soon can you go back to the day school where they know you as male?
Well most of the Freshman know me as male because they don't actually KNOW me but some of the Freshman do know I'm female. The rest of the school just thinks I'm a lesbian, except for my friends who know I'm Trans but still refers to me as a girl.
All of my teachers have recomended that I go back to day school so I'll go to my review on October 21st and I should be back in day school on October 27th.
I got into trouble in a gay club for using the men's room. The security person said "boys only, wrong bathroom" when I was washing my hands and escorted me out. I have a card for when I visit the city nearby that has laws to protect transgender people. It pretty much says that telling me to use a certain bathroom, or not use a bathroom is discrimination...and lists the names of all the LGBT legal service type things in the area.
I would have lost my temper and said "I am in the right bathroom, stupid" but how did he know you weren't biologically male?
Quote from: Kentrie on October 14, 2010, 11:32:04 PM
I would have lost my temper and said "I am in the right bathroom, stupid" but how did he know you weren't biologically male?
Well...most people tend to read me as a butch lesbian, I guess that's what he thought.
Two kinds of guys...
... those that walk and in and go piss
... and those that wash
... before and after
And don't even think to use that as an excuse to use extra tissue
Quote from: Nygeel on October 14, 2010, 11:49:27 PM
Well...most people tend to read me as a butch lesbian, I guess that's what he thought.
I would have told him that he was wrong and I was male.
Quote from: Kentrie on October 15, 2010, 12:07:48 AM
I would have told him that he was wrong and I was male.
Well, either way I was kicked out/dragged out/escorted out. There have been other situations where I've been kicked out of restaurants and stuff...you just have to learn to tolerate it, I guess.
ugh i get nervous about bathrooms too, i really want a STP but i dont really have money and my parents just dont care about it or my transition in general that much
the other day i was in the movies with my sister and i had to go to pee and my sister wanted to go too
so i went running and she was after me walking and when i got to the bathrooms i was so nervous i didnt know which one to use, i mean if you go to the girls bathroom they will think you are a guy and if you go to the guys bathroom if you look feminine and you pee in stalls i think they are going to beat you up or something, i get really paranoid at bathrooms, in the end i just used the bathroom for people in wheelchairs, i had to sneak in because you can get yelled at for it,
all the bathroom stuff makes me really frustrated :(
Talking about gay bars I've been in ones where they don't have a door on the stalls! Just to insure that guys don't go in there to make out or whatever. Well I'm confident but not confident enough to go pee on a toilet without a door. Perhaps most people don't look but someone might.
So I end up not drinking much at all and holding it forever. I really need a stp but money is so tight right now. Sigh
I have noticed that I am less nervous in a super crowded bathroom. i used all mens rooms while at an airport, and each time the bathrooms were packed. With all of the men in there, no one even looked at me, I was even able to wash my STP, so much hussle to get in and get out left me unnoticed.
I feel more nervous when it is just one other person in there with me, cause I think they may say something.
Once while at college, I was washing my hands and this guy walked in, and murmored to himself "is this the wright bathroom" and checked the sign on the door (what a dick!) so I walked by him and left giving him a smug smile as he kinda mumbled "sorry"
I've made my own stp with my packer, but I was in the proccess of changing tubing and stuff, and never finished, so I've just been using my medicine spoon. I never get nervous going up to a urinal with it. Honestly, I think if a guy walks in and sees you standing at the urinal peeing, even if its with a basic medicine spoon, he's not gonna look or say anything. I wouldn't make not having an actual stp a factor
Actually, I never know what bathroom to use except for what they told me. That seems like the only real sense the birth gender makes because otherwise it opens the possibility to be found as a pervert.
Make both bathrooms the same inside and there should be no question which one to use.
P.S. I recognize the mtf challenge to use the men's bathroom, or any woman that tries, is basically a crossdresser. Sure it's not clothes to put on, yet it is the same motive.
This bathroom thing is confusing me. Which one do I use?
Quote from: Kentrie on October 19, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
This bathroom thing is confusing me. Which one do I use?
To put it that way; you could loop this thread with obscurity.
Did one bathroom point you to go to the other bathroom?
Some doors make this choice more efficient. (P.S. "End Of Line" with "staying alive" on ipod doorbell.)
P.S. The law doesn't let us describe the hall between these doors. Conservation of energy +1.
Quote from: Kentrie on October 19, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
This bathroom thing is confusing me. Which one do I use?
Just use the men's, unless there's some external factor forcing you to use the women's.
Quote from: kyril on October 19, 2010, 03:10:04 AM
Just use the men's, unless there's some external factor forcing you to use the women's.
One door has a man impression and one has many impressions.
http://www.ftmguide.org/bathroom.html (http://www.ftmguide.org/bathroom.html)
helpful tips for the bathroom