I cant explain it but I am EXTREMELY depressed. There is no real reason. Does anyone else ever get super down then for some reason, the depression gives way to a VERY strong urge to harm one self? Becaue that is me to the T. I have beaten myself up, literally by punching the ->-bleeped-<- out of my own face.....Now I am stuck in my pad, too embarassed to go outside. Usually something like punching myself in the face a number of times takes care of it, but not this time. I want to hurt myself, and bad. I want to cut myself. And yes I am certified, i get a crazy check
Please don't harm yourself Kitty... You are not alone
Here's a few post and stat.s on the subject...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,78459.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,78459.0.html)
{{{HUGS}}}
Don't harm yourself Kitty.
If we do the big check out, we miss all those new and wonderful opportunities that are coming up. Harming oneself is also not a good thing. When I get really depressed like that I head to bed and sleep for a day or so.
Quote from: superkitty036 on October 15, 2010, 10:55:12 PM
I cant explain it but I am EXTREMELY depressed. There is no real reason. Does anyone else ever get super down then for some reason, the depression gives way to a VERY strong urge to harm one self? Becaue that is me to the T. I have beaten myself up, literally by punching the ->-bleeped-<- out of my own face.....Now I am stuck in my pad, too embarassed to go outside. Usually something like punching myself in the face a number of times takes care of it, but not this time. I want to hurt myself, and bad. I want to cut myself. And yes I am certified, i get a crazy check
I can absolutely relate, except I've never punched myself in the face, I have cut myself god knows how many times though. And I frequently get extremely depressed for no obvious reason.
Sorry to hear you have the blues bad, but please don't hurt yourself. There are lots of people here who have been through the same, so you are not alone. If you can get tidied up enough to feel a bit more presentable going for a walk or a run can help, get's the endorphins flowing a bit. Anyone asks you can always lie and say you fell of your bike or something.
Hugs too. Sandra.
Kitty, please do not hurt yourself. I understand it's hard to ignore that feeling, but you need to hang in there. Try listening to music, meditation, watching an movie, or talk an walk instead. And please don't punch yourself anymore, for an number of good reasons, such as if you punch yourself hard enough and enough times in the head you could give yourself an concussion. Believe me my ex learned that the hard way.. Be kind to yourself and keep yourself safe *lots of hugs*
PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF!!!!
Even though things may seem low now they always get better! You will get past this feeling and don't have to hurt yourself!
Hang in there superkitty,
Lots of us go to the dark place, scream out to us here we are your family and will listen. Don't hurt yourself, you will hurt us too.
Hugs
Cindy
Kitty
The dark place is one most of us know too well.
All I can say is that you need to remind yourself, it passes.
well i slept on it, woke up a little wile ago and guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT has picked up right where it left off, well not exactly, just super depressed, the rage boiling like hot lava under the surface, just waiting for enough pressure to build then kabloowey
eh, it doesnt really matter anyways
Whatever I will say will not have any bearing on how you will feel. That I have been there standing on the edge, looking down into the abyss and feeling almost sense of a relieve when thinking of jumping and ending this charade. It is a charade, no doubt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then I would think of all the people who never gave up on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure there were those who did, oh well, there will always be those ones, but look here at this post, these girls know exactly what you feel, they felt it just like you do. Surely there must be some out there who love you as well, sometimes we even don't realize who they are.
You are loved, we do care, awake baby from this nightmare, you mean a lot to us! With all my love, Alexia!
Yes it does matter, life is worth living. I am not tring to argue with you, so please don't think that. Hang in there, this will pass. May I ask if there was anything that may have provoked how you feel? You say that you have a lot of rage building, did anyone or anything cause it? *lots of hugs* keep yourself safe and be kind to yourself.
The ONLY thing that is stopping me from letting loose are my bunny rabbits....That is the only thing. Because if I even go to a hospital on a 3 day hold, who will be here to feed them? Im going to tell you all about my bunnies. I have 3 of them. They are all dwarf hotot's. All are white, two have very small black rings of fur around their eyes, and eyes that are the color blue!!!! Those two are Penelope 2 years old and the sweetest little thing ever! And Roger (after roger the rabbit). He is actualy the smallest, at a little over 2 lbs, but he will bite the crap out of you. He is 1 year nine months old. His nickname is biter bunny...Anytime anyone goes to pet one of the other bunnies, he wuill rush out and make sure that you are not hurting the other bunnies. Penelope is a transgender bunny, like me (but WAY cuter. I say transbunny cuz "she" was born a boy, like me, but she has been fixed, unlike me) Roger is a boy, also fixed......then there is Sage Monster. Her is a gurl buunny. Nickname mama bunny. She is also white, with brown markings with brown eyes. This rabbit is a friggen trip. If you go to pet her, she will thump her back feet (signaling danger to the other bunnies) and dive under the bed. BUT, as long as you do not try to mpet her, she will hop to you and if your face is exposed, lick every inch of it, until you go to pet her then she hisses, thumps her foot and dives under the bed. All my bunnies are NEVER caged. They have full house privilages. Sage monster will eat anything (which is not good) for example, I caught her trying to east a skittle. Little Rog, he is a picky eater, and wants you to hold his food so he can nibble at it....penelope LOVES apples, but will go absollutely bonkers if you break out a piece of bread, has to be wheat though....... SHe loves bread so much that ill give her a little piece, and then give the others a piece and she'll gobble hers up and then if the other buns have not finished eating theirs shell take it right out of their mouths! They drive me absol;utely crazy and punk me all the time, but hey. THey use a litter box with wood shavings in it to pee and do most of their pooing...and lastly, if you think bunnies are stupid, think again. When it was warmer out, I would take them one at a time outside to the pool, and let them swim around for a minute or two. WEll little roger HATES it, and the last time i did that to him, I wrapped him in a towel, brought him back inside. He Immediatly jumped up on the bed and urinated on my pillow, looked at me as if to say HA then jumped off the bed and dove under...............I lkove them a lot....and i do feel a little better talking about them!!!
I'm sure you could find someone to care for them; a neighbor, a friend, even someone that you've met online would do in a pinch if they're close. They probably have kennels for rabbits as well, for not too expensive; when I was last on vacation, it only cost 15$/day to kennel my big ol husky/german shepherd mix.
If your babies keep you focus then that is where you should concentrate your energies. They need you there to care for them. And like any good mother you would give your life to protect them.
They should be the thing that gets you sane.
Quote from: long.897 on October 16, 2010, 03:45:25 PM
I'm sure you could find someone to care for them; a neighbor, a friend, even someone that you've met online would do in a pinch if they're close. They probably have kennels for rabbits as well, for not too expensive; when I was last on vacation, it only cost 15$/day to kennel my big ol husky/german shepherd mix.
I appreciate your concern, i do. But the building that I live is full of crack heads, crack sellers and hookers that do their johns in the stairwells at ALL times of day!!! I would not let a n eighbor in this bldg in my house if my life depended on it. Maybe I could go across the street and ask the shotcallers for 18th street if they'll feed my buns! Not! I dont have a frie3nd that i trust enough to leav ein my house alone. and as far as someone I have met online, I posted my phone number on this site last night, hoping that someone would call so I could talk to someone and not be so lonely, didnt happen. And I can barely afford the 900/month rent here....so even 15 dollatrs a day Is expensic]ve when you dont have it. I am slowly pulling out of it since talking about my bunnies.....
I really envy you all here in this forum, family, friends, a job, a car........and I cant seem to find the cash just to eat all month..Im serious I live on beans and potatoes! Lame huh
ok ok ok, i dont want to get started again.......again thank you though.
Kitty you and I are in the same boat. And many are too. Just hang in there and know your family here loves you.
And we need more bunny pictures. :D
I agree with Janet 100% Your bunnis need you around so you can take care of them and spoil them. Sorry I can't think of what else to say. But I am glad that your starting to feel better.
Im all good now. Completely out of the blues! yay! and NO i did not get high or drink alcohol!!!! A special someone from here called me all the way from England!!! AND of course my little terrorists (bunnies) helped too........Getting like I wqas really scares me sometimes cuz I can be very destructive!! BUT I made it through, with out doinng drugs or drinking or going to the hospital or cutting myself....I did crack myself in the face a couple good ones last night, but well i am a WIP (work in progress) thank you all
900/month sounds pretty steep to live in a cracknest, but I guess it varies by area. In Columbus OH (my city,) you can get a decent studio apartment in a safe neighborhood for 350/month.
Good! *big hugs* I am that your feeling better! And you are more than welcome, that's what family is for sweety. I admit I am a work in progress as well, but never give up and remember you are a strong person and can get through. *high fives and hugs*