I've recently started posting here and I had a poke around the different forums. One thread was on a recently pregnant transman. I was a little disheartened at some of the responses I saw from some of the members here. It's sad because the trans community is judged by society as a whole and I saw an awful lot of judgment coming from some of the members here. It seems like some of the members here were in the thought of "He isn't trans enough!" or "He's a fake!". I've seen this happen in the gay community as well. Someone getting some flack for not being "gay" enough or for being *gasp* bisexual! It seems members of the gay and trans community eat their own. I really don't see the point in all of this. Who cares what someone else does with their body and who are we to judge someone and how trans they are? It just doesn't make sense....
I completely agree with you. It really frustrates me when I face just as much crap from gay people as I do from crazy christians.
I think it may come from the assertion that one, represents all. Therefore, to distance oneself from this representation, one has to condemn it. (Sorry if that sounds pompous ;D)
In my experiences there is a lot...and by a lot I mean A LOT of cissexism within the trans community. I sadly think it will always exist.
To be completely honest "not trans enough" "not gay enough" "too bisexual" etc. is what's kept me from becoming active in any GLBT clubs IRL. Honestly to me it seems like highschool for queer individuals instead of teenaged ones, the concept seems to be "stick a bunch of dissimilar people in a place they will meet regularly based on a shared need" and it always ends in some of those dissimilar people fighting. A reality with any group I'm afraid.
I've seen this as well in some of the groups I'm involved in. I understand that there is division in any group, but it still makes me sad that it exists in a group of people who seem to want equality. It really makes me leery of the GLBT groups as a whole now....
Quote from: Laura91 on October 16, 2010, 07:36:04 PM
Yeah, I saw that when I went to my local GLB group (they never had a T in the mix until I showed up). It had a very "cliquey" sort of feel so I left the group after a short while.
I wasn't even out as a "T" when I went, I was under the guise of "Q" (for Questioning) but showing up because I wanted support when I came out as "T"; I left without coming out.
If it's the thread I'm remembering, a lot of responders found the whole idea repugnant or disturbing but felt that the guy could do whatever he wanted. I was in that camp.
Of course, I actually feel that way about seeing anyone who is pregnant. A few months back, I was in the grocery store in the middle of the day, and there just happened to be a lot of women out who were pregnant or carrying around infants. I had to fight off a panic attack. ::)
Hey, I might find it gross, but they can do whatever they want.
Quote from: Arch on October 16, 2010, 07:53:46 PM
If it's the thread I'm remembering, a lot of responders found the whole idea repugnant or disturbing but felt that the guy could do whatever he wanted.
Yes, that's what I also remember the thread being full of.
I don't recall anyone saying he "wasn't trans enough".
I still hold the same opinion - pregnancy turns my stomach, would NEVER do it myself.
He has the right to do whatever the hell he wants with his body, and more power to him.
But I still have the rights to be grossed out, and not want to be associated with his actions in any way. When family asked if I was "like that", you betcha I said hell no.
Quote from: Teknoir on October 16, 2010, 09:28:21 PM
I still hold the same opinion - pregnancy turns my stomach, would NEVER do it myself.
He has the right to do whatever the hell he wants with his body, and more power to him.
But I still have the rights to be grossed out, and not want to be associated with his actions in any way. When family asked if I was "like that", you betcha I said hell no.
Precisely. I don't think many people on here will criticise another trans person's decisions. However some of us have dysphoria connected directly to having the internal reproductive system of a woman, even as others dismiss it or even embrace it. Personally it was my first key to figuring out I was trans. When I was a little girl the thought that I could become pregnant really upset me. Any opinion I made on the guy would have been directly tied to that.
Quote from: Teknoir on October 16, 2010, 09:28:21 PM
Yes, that's what I also remember the thread being full of.
I don't recall anyone saying he "wasn't trans enough".
I still hold the same opinion - pregnancy turns my stomach, would NEVER do it myself.
He has the right to do whatever the hell he wants with his body, and more power to him.
But I still have the rights to be grossed out, and not want to be associated with his actions in any way. When family asked if I was "like that", you betcha I said hell no.
There was a couple of guys saying that If i'm remembering the right thread.
yeah i remember that too, that's what saddened me, trans guys and trans women bashing their own. i read the 'END OF DAYS: There's ANOTHER pregnant man due to give birth in february' one though so i might have the wrong one?
i remember it was some were o.k. some were confused why a guy would want that, some were o.k but didn't like that they went public but a FEW WERE angry/sickened about the whole thing period or acted like it was a sci fi thing.
I had my children before transition, trying hard to live life in the body I was dealt. I never connected to that motherly thing, though I was and am a damn good parent. It was an interesting experience with my body, kind of alien. I didn't relate to anything I read about motherhood at all. And I definitely wasn't going to ever drive around in a mini-van!! LOL
I could NOT imagine myself pregnant now as a man (those parts were the first to go!!) but I respect the right of anyone to become a parent any way they see fit. If ya got the parts, don't see why you can't use them if you want to. That goes for the guys AND girls.
Jay
On THIS forum? I'm confused as to why I haven't seen this...being susans current resident pregnant trans guy and all. Maybe I tuned it out :P
yeah Jeatyn, probably best to tune out negative crap like that lol. that's brave enough even telling people. i probably wouldn't if i were in that condition but I'm kind of coward-ish.
i don't know how to pronounce that, Jea tin? Jeatian? Jeatine? doh, I'm probably way off.
Everyone, everyone has criticism a lot of which is improperly portrayed on there part. To each their own, but must people have such little respect in there words? I run an education and facilitation groups that teaches and organizes compassion training to the community. A huge factor seems to be opinions, obviously but I HATE how bluntly ignorant people are sometimes. Sorry but it would be the same as a Trans women( Pre-HRT obviously) for a lack of better terms "fathering" a child (Copyright Leek 2010). Now I'm fairly against procreation, merely because there are so many children who need homes, but if a Trans man is comfortable enough with his body then screw your opinions, I'm jealous of him. Just as the battle of Pro-choice vs. Pro-life it is his choice. He'll have enough stress on his own and rude hateful comments, make me wanna puke. How can we treat a brother of ours that is comfortable with his situation enough to carry a child to full term.
I can see how others would not choose it, those who live in stealth. So don't think I'm fighting you, but we get enough freaking flack from both in and outside of the LGBT community. Be kind and let each live their own, closed minds work better with elementary rules, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Quote from: Jeatyn on October 18, 2010, 11:16:06 AM
On THIS forum? I'm confused as to why I haven't seen this...being susans current resident pregnant trans guy and all. Maybe I tuned it out :P
You probably tuned it out, but it was here...there was a whole long thread about it, on which several of the ladies and I think one of the guys who no longer posts here voiced their opinion about how trans men who keep and use their parts aren't really men and/or shouldn't be recognized as men and/or are doing something morally wrong. It's come up again a couple times since, here and there. I try to tune it out too since it's mostly the same people every time, and they're the same ones who get judgmental about other stuff.
Just another group of ignorant people out to attack anyone tho isn't of the status quot (btw idk if i spelt that right but you get what i mean)
Seems ridiculous to me to break down a minority group into even smaller minorities, we all struggle with basically the same crap so giving each other crap on top of the crap is...well...crappy :D
(also my username is pronounced sorta like Jeh-tin....or gee-eh-tin, hard to type out)