I am sorry about a thread earlier this week, which about not transitioning unless I was passable/beautiful. I was thinking today, that I probably would transition even if I were to never become beautiful. Beauty is just an illusion of the standards of societies anyways. Its not the beauty I want, it's being a female.
Sorry I put you guys through some chaotic thoughts lately, since I pretty much used this forum as a diary of my problems and thoughts.
I am scared, and it's because of being transsexual but being financially independent in my life. I am battling with so many options of my life right now, and I do not know what path I want to lead right now. I have to make a decision soon.
I want to be a transsexual, a female, but I am worried about my family rejecting me. I know its pretty lame, but they are all I really have. I have no one, no friends, nobody. If I lose them, I lose everything I have as a community of people who care about me.
Should I tell my mother that I am transsexual, but I do not want to transition yet. Just to be honest with her so she can know a truth of myself? I do not want her to make fun of me though, and she makes fun of gay people by saying "->-bleeped-<-gots" and rejects transsexual people.
I hate my life right now... I want to find some peace. I am kind of tired now.
No worries Sis. You are just thinking out loud to your family. Hopefully you will find peace soon. Just remember that you will still be you, just in s different package.
Megan
As janet says, don't even think about it.
As for your fears and family, I can identify with that completely. I don't make friends, never have. I know loads of people, but, other than my wife, no friends at all.
When I was in my teens, I tried and lost basically, because I was so terribly lonely.
At this point, I really wish I could give you some sage advice to sort that out. Or, failing that, some dire warning to push you into living your own life, regardless.
But no. Lonliness sucks.
All I can say is, don't lose faith in yourself, or your dreams. You know your objective, your goal. You keep your eye on that.
For now, you play life by ear. Opportinities will present themselves. But there's no sense in setting off before the paint is dry, to coin an annalogy.
Your time will come. In the mean time, you have us here. You know who you are and you will get there.
Quote from: spacial on October 18, 2010, 05:55:33 AM
Megan
As janet says, don't even think about it.
As for your fears and family, I can identify with that completely. I don't make friends, never have. I know loads of people, but, other than my wife, no friends at all.
When I was in my teens, I tried and lost basically, because I was so terribly lonely.
At this point, I really wish I could give you some sage advice to sort that out. Or, failing that, some dire warning to push you into living your own life, regardless.
But no. Lonliness sucks.
All I can say is, don't lose faith in yourself, or your dreams. You know your objective, your goal. You keep your eye on that.
For now, you play life by ear. Opportinities will present themselves. But there's no sense in setting off before the paint is dry, to coin an annalogy.
Your time will come. In the mean time, you have us here. You know who you are and you will get there.
This.
We all need to vent. And if we can't vent here, where can we?
Don't worry I think most of us have been there and asked that question.
I remember someone from my support group told me about this TS in our group, she was very attractive and considered the most passable in the group. My friend told me that she said that she wouldn't of transitioned if she wasn't going to be attractive. At first I didn't really care about that comment.. but it did stay with me and then I related it to how I felt when I finally decided to come out to everyone. For me the thought of not passing worries me and I've often thought that if it all doesn't work out and if I have to live my life pinned as a transsexual then I would just end my life as it's not what I would feel comfortable living as. I still feel this to be true though I know its not the right way to think, it shouldn't matter what other people think, but for some like me it does. Those people effect my life and my place in society so it is important for my quality of life.
We know this going into it, we consider these possibilities and some have to consider them and allow for them more than others. And I think we all mostly do in some way or another.
We are all different and there is no real right or wrong, I think if transition was wrong for someone then they would feel a "real" sense of actual dysphoria from starting HRT and that would be the true indicator of whether it is right or wrong. IMO.
It's rather normal for a woman to want to feel beautiful and be seen as attractive, it's the way this world is... unfortunately. It's no different than wishing to simply fit in.
I think I remember my comment was a little harsh but I know I was having a bad day/week/month. And I think like a lot of people here with surging hormonal changes they can get the better of us and make us be a little less tactful. Although unfortunately the rule books don't cater for that :P