which gender should they like?
I'm in high school, not 'out' to anyone but one friend and my father, but i present as male & i think i look male, when i look in the mirror i see nothing female about me. But everyone knows me as a female. And i guess i look like one because whenever i hear people say 'is that a boy or a girl' they decide that i'm a girl & i don't ->-bleeped-<-in know why but anyway. If i want to be with someone should i look for someone who likes females or someone who likes males. I don't think i'd be comfortable if the person i was with thought i was a girl and wanted to treat me like one. And i don't even look like a girl (like i said i don't think i do) and i definitely don't act like one. But i guess i don't look like a guy and i don't have a dick so i guess i should just not even try?
I don't know, this post is kind of pointless
I've been struggling with this issue for a few years now too. I'm interested in men, have dated both straight and gay men. My advice if you aren't sure which gender you look like, is to try and find people who identify as bisexual or pansexual, or atleast consider themselves flexible when it comes to dating. Since you're in HS, I don't know if a sexual relationship will be a factor yet, so you might be able to find people who don't care about your gender. The best strategy is always to get to know the person first, because if they are attracted to who you are inside, they are generally more willing to overlook what's on the outside. That's been my experience, atleast. But, I've also been burned by gay men who decided they wanted a "real man" so be careful that your partner knows what they are getting from the start. I'm sorry this was kind of all over the place, lol, but I hope it helped a little. Just make sure whoever you end up with treats you as the man you know you are. :) Good luck bud.
I'd say look for a person who likes YOU. I understand that when it breaks down, gender can be important in finding and meeting potential date material, BUT, when broken down further, it doesn't completely matter. I've dated lesbians who've dated me as an exception, I've dated straight girls who've dated me as an exception, I've dated bisexual girls who've dated me as.. well.. me. In my opinion, you matter first, your gender matters second. Though, in high school, people can be more narrow-minded.
Good luck, Matt (and Konman)
Quote from: Aven on October 18, 2010, 07:31:54 PM
I'd say look for a person who likes YOU.
Agreed.
My advice would be to not try to find someone, neither close the doors to the others. If you like both boys and girls, and don't mind of being rated as gay or lesbian, open your heart to both. =)
You don't have to look for a male or a female, you should look for someone who love you the way you are.
My partner, at the beggining, thought he was dating a female. I wasn't trying to look girly, i never did so. And almost a year later, i told him i was not a woman in soul. We are are just fine and still toghether, he understand me and helps a lot ^..^
He don't care about my appearance, nor my gender. He treat me as a male because he know i feel better this way and will help me with the top surgery because he knows all the disphoria that my body cause to me. And yes, he's a cismale XD
I third on what Flam and Aven said :D
Definitely have to agree with everyone else, but sometimes that's hard to tell when you're just meeting someone, which is how a lot of people date. If it's hard to tell whether they like you for you, not for your outward appearance or your junk, maybe go for Bi? :D
My fiance and I got together before we knew we were trans. I love her for her and she for me even back when she was he and I was her (How confusing!), but it does help that we're both pansexual, ala, we don't care what gender, be it male female both or neither.
Honestly? The advice I give to EVERYONE, not just trans folk, is date who you like truly, genuinely, and completely. I had a friend who dated every gay guy that came his way, even though he was looking for true love. He got hurt every time, needless to say.
This is a hard question. Well, speaking from my personal experiences, I have been dating a guy for two years, and when we started dating, I wasn't out, I was still so unsure about my gender. So he viewed me as a straight female and I him as a straight male.
When I came out, he was still attracted to me, which was a huge relief, it turns out he's somewhat bi curious. :D
Point is, people can surprise you. Try to be with people you are attracted to, and see how it goes.
Date whoever, as long as they don't treat you like a girl and as long as they understand that you have different parts then a guy i don't see a problem. See i got lucky and am dating another transguy, but as long as the person your with understands the sensitivity of the subject they should know how to respect you and it would be a great relationship.
I agree with what the other lads have said too :)
I never though I'd meet anyone, but I've now been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months, and we have no problem identifying ourselves as a gay couple: he likes men, I like men, and despite my lack of cock, I am a man. And perhaps most importantly, we were good friends before we got together, and we share lots of interests and opinions.
So my advice is, find someone who you can talk to, who makes you laugh, and who treats you like the man you are. Perhaps it may help, too, if you're out to any potential partner before you get together - that was my situation anyway - but as long as they're respectful and sensitive to you, that's the main thing whenever you choose to disclose. Good luck mate!