I usually try and go to one of the few gender neutral bathrooms on campus, but sometimes it's just not an option. During the past seven weeks of classes, I used the ladies room on the top floor of the computer science building three times. I figure because the male-female ratio in the computer based majors is about 90%-10% (not exaggerating, those are the actual numbers), and the top floor of that building is usually pretty sparsely populated in general, I should be fairly safe.
Of course, that's not the way things work. Two out of those three bathroom uses I patiently waited in the stall for the sink area to be free so no one would see me, then after I finish and right as I am reaching for the door handle to leave, someone walks in at that exact moment so our faces are no more than three feet apart. The first time it happened I turn my head and quickly rush past her, but then tonight it was an international student from a south-east Asian country with a different culture than the norm here. Instead of moving out of the way as is customary when you are blocking a doorway, she just stood there with only about a foot to squeeze past her and said "is man?" I forced my way through and she followed me out a little, I think to check the sign outside the door and make sure she was in the right place. I don't know what happened next because I was around the hallway corner as soon as possible.
She was rude. Keep using that bathroom. Its bad to hold it.
Alexei,
It has been said on this site several times about "passing". I think half the battle is confidence. I truly believe this as well. Don't let this shake your confidence. Keep doing what your are doing , Trust me it will get easier. If, when the door opened and she saw you with a complete confident look, she probably would not have given it a second thought. ;)
Hugs, Erocse :)
Or you could just claim to be the cleaner.
Quote from: erocse on October 25, 2010, 06:11:27 PMIt has been said on this site several times about "passing". I think half the battle is confidence. I truly believe this as well. Don't let this shake your confidence. Keep doing what your are doing , Trust me it will get easier. If, when the door opened and she saw you with a complete confident look, she probably would not have given it a second thought. ;)
It's not so much a question of passing. I'm aware that I don't pass very well right now, which will hopefully change when I start hormones. The problem was really just the highly unlikely chance of bumping into someone as I'm leaving and then having it happen twice.
Your just too funny Spacial !!!! :laugh:
Love, Erocse :)
Quote from: spacial on October 25, 2010, 06:21:31 PM
Or you could just claim to be the cleaner.
If you feel like you don't pass to others then you shouldn't really use the ladies'. I mean, it's all about just going about doing your business and getting out with the least amount of hassle. One should use the bathroom that is for the gender they are presenting in at that time. If you said yourself that you don't why not just use the men's until you do start passing. Why bring problems upon yourself?
I would continue to use the bathroom that's comfortable to you. If it's the ladies', go for it. If not, so be it. I'm working on being able to use the mens' bathroom myself, at the moment I only use the family ones. If nobody is around, I do use the mens'. And lemme just say, it feels AWESOME.
I feel with you but the most important thing is to not panic and not be paranoid if you look suspicious that will draw attention to you.
But then again I know what you mean a couple of months ago I could have been read as either depending on the person, you are left unable to go into a toliet without upsetting somone.
"I DONT WANT THIS TO BE A DEBATE I JUST NEED TO WEE!"
Alright Pebbles !!!! cute new avatar!! :)
Hugs, Erocse
Being on HRT might help if anything to change your smell (body odor) and pheromone functionality. I do not pass %100 in my female presentation. I went full time this March so it has been about 7 months. I have not once ran into a problem using the womens restroom. Not one person has looked at me funny nor said anything other than hello, I like your shoes..or what have you. As someone mentioned confidence is one of the key things. If you think you aren't supposed to be there then you will look like you aren't supposed to be there. Smile! Anytime you come face to face with someone in the restroom smile from ear to ear. No need to even say anything.
Confidence and not smelling like a guy will make a world of difference.
Pebbles your new Avatar is cute! Love the hair pulled back. ;D
Dana Lane you look like you pass to me. You look good. 8)
Quote from: Mrs Erocse on October 27, 2010, 10:32:09 AM
Pebbles your new Avatar is cute! Love the hair pulled back. ;D
Dana Lane you look like you pass to me. You look good. 8)
Well, thanks but we can all take a good picture every once in a while. :)
Quote from: Dana Lane on October 27, 2010, 10:41:16 AM
Well, thanks but we can all take a good picture every once in a while. :)
Nope, Dana. You have to give yourself more credit than that. Awhile ago, before I had the courage to go out in public presenting female. I spotted your avatar and sense we have a similar facial structure and similar color. I remember thinking, "if only I look as good as her". You look good !!!
Hugs, Erocse
Honestly, I've never understood why bathrooms are genderized in the first place. Coming from someone who often thinks "screw this" while waiting for the girls' bathroom, it's not all that weird using the guys'. (And no, I don't pass at all.) I'm not sure if it would be harder the other way around.
Quote from: Lee on October 27, 2010, 11:54:52 AM
Honestly, I've never understood why bathrooms are genderized in the first place. Coming from someone who often thinks "screw this" while waiting for the girls' bathroom, it's not all that weird using the guys'. (And no, I don't pass at all.) I'm not sure if it would be harder the other way around.
While your right it dose cause alot of fuss and angst, Well there is one major distinction I've noticed... some guys use the cubicals to pee some obligatly some oppertunistically... Of those guys 99% of them stand to wee. of that 99% about 95% of them really should sit because they couldn't hit a wall 1ft infront of them.
Girls toilets = no wee on the seat! usually.
As someone who was a maintenance supervisor and a facility manager for nightclubs you couldn't be more wrong about the men's/women's rooms, women - particularly when used by upper-class entitled women are far more messy than a men's room, even when all the guys are drunk.
Yeah, with the exception of gay clubs where 90+% of the clientele is one gender (so obviously one bathroom gets a whole lot more use than the other), ladies' rooms are far, far nastier than men's. Used toilet paper everywhere, the stink of piss, tampons and pads strewn about smelling like God-knows-what, diapers, makeup spills, horrid mixes of perfume smells, and a much higher chance of piss on any given toilet seat, because women never put the seat up before they "hover." (ugh, whoever invented and promoted that as an acceptable way to use public restrooms should be forced to wallow in piss-covered toilet seats for eternity)
Men's rooms have a stronger odour of urinal cakes and piss spray on the floor/walls, but the seats are cleaner, the sinks are cleaner, everything you actually touch is cleaner, and for some reason men seem to have mastered the art of putting toilet paper in the toilet.
I am with Lee on this one, what is the reason bathrooms are genderized in the first place? I guess it also differs with culture. In some places they are seen as womens "secret garden", in other places people don't really care.
Personally, I have used the ladies bathroom several times when the... "sanitary condition" of the mens room was highly convincing to try elsewhere. The reactions of women (and men) on this also differ from the country I am currently in. Rosemary has used the men's bathroom when there was a line in front of the other. She did require me to escort her in though.
Ladies bathrooms can indeed be in a worse condition than their male counterparts.
I always sit when peeing because how skilled you may be, your aim is never completely accurate. It is also a fair thing to do when sharing your home with others.