Okay so. I've been asking my aunt and uncle if I can start testosterone for years. Literally. At least three. And they always say no, that it's dangerous, that I need to wait until I'm eighteen. But I honestly don't think I can wait that long. It's been so long already, and I am going insane. They said that if I find a specialist, they'd be willing to see him/her and talk about it. I live in Oregon and am on OHP. Does anyone know of a doctor who will see me AND recommend that I start T as soon as possible? It's dire.
Please guys. I really need help. I don't know what to do. I've Googled it and nothing.
You have to have yourself declared an emancipated minor by the court, then you can do this. Otherwise it will take the approval of your parent or guardian. I can't imagine that any doctor would risk his/her practice otherwise.
It sucks, but you will probably just have to hang in there and wait.
I can't wait. I seriously can't. I'm not being melodramatic or exaggerating or anything. They said they would talk to a specialist if I could find one. I've Googled it and I can't. I want somebody who preferably specializes in underage people, so they won't be like everybody else in my life. I need someone to listen.
Okay, I'm not quite understanding. Are your aunt and uncle your legal guardians? If so then they can give you permission I believe. I don't live in Oregon but my best suggestion is to call around and ask or look up websites of various psychiatrists. Odd as it is, it seems like where I'm at a lot of sex therapists handle transgender patients.
Yes, they're my legal guardians. I've been begging to start T for a long time, but they're against it. If I can set up an appointment with a transgender/hormone specialist who can talk them out of their stupidity...that's what I need to do. I've seriously been considering just buying steroids online. It's been four ->-bleeped-<-ing years. I should not have had to wait that long, it isn't fair. Nobody should have to. If I could have started when I first came out...I would look and be perceived, all the time, as a bio guy. No problem. It makes me feel so desperate. Sorry for the rant. I just feel hopeless.
I know it sucks to wait dude.. but online T is often not the best quality. If you dont get the right kinds it can really f with you. You could try going in to talk to your regular doctor if he's at least semi trans friendly - and he can find and refer you to a psych that deals with trans people.
Don't be sorry for the rant. Wish I could help you out. I've also been waiting around wanting to start T for about 4 years so I really do get it. A specialist talking to them is a great idea. I strongly suggest against ordering steroids online. You never know what it really is for sure not to mention I've heard of some nasty side effects using steroids instead of testosterone. I know sometimes it seems impossible but we're both young. We'll have plenty of time to live as the man we are even if it takes a little while to get there. I wish you luck with your transition. I'll see what I can find for you. What's the nearest big city if you don't mind me asking because I'm guessing they won't want to drive too far to see a specialist. Tad's suggestion of getting a referral from a GP is a good one.
I tried talking to my doctor about it...she brought up how she has another patient on testosterone and then told me to wait until I'm eighteen and then she continued to refer to her other patient using female pronouns which really pissed me off so I just shut up.
Portland is the closest city. It's super gay friendly, not too sure about trans though.
I just. It's ugh. And I have no trans friends, you know? So I can't even bitch to anyone. My girlfriend is supportive but she doesn't understand.
If I can find a specialist in Montana, you should be able to find one near Portland. I have family there..the environment just seems pretty trans friendly.
I wish you luck in your search..I hope this works out for you.
Not sure if links are okay. If not, I just googled Portland Oregon transgender and this was the first page.
http://www.sarabecker.com/t/index.html (http://www.sarabecker.com/t/index.html)
With a helpful list.
http://www.sarabecker.com/t/therapists_in_the_portland_metro.htm (http://www.sarabecker.com/t/therapists_in_the_portland_metro.htm)
Start there or somewhere similar, I'd say.
Yeah, I found that site. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, those are gender therapists, not people who write prescriptions for hormones. I'm beyond frustrated right now, sorry if I seem like a dick. Sometimes I feel okay and then I start thinking and I'm like...damn. It's hard to ignore. I just want to be normal. Ugh.
But they may be able to guide you to what you need. Having a starting point is always a good thing.
Often it's yoru gp that will write the prescription... and the therapist will right a reccomendation for hormones - which gets forwarded to your doctor.. so don't neccessarily worry about finding a psychologist or pscyhatrist.
I like your attitude. Had I thought that way I'd have been better off.
Get to see your doctor. I think no matter your age he should allow you to talk to him in private, then try to tell him about your issue. Tell him about how you feel. If you explain it right (and if you have a good understanding doctor) he should direct you towards the fastest and safest way to transition. But make sure you have a good doctor... And make sure you don't let them influence you into saying it's "not that urgent". Don't make the same mistake I did.
Apart from that there's still self-medication. But it's illegal. And it's very dangerous. And I don't think it's a good idea. Just don't do it.
Thank you for the support. I'm seeing my regular therapist on Thursday-she's always said I should wait until I'm eighteen-and I'm going to talk to her, seriously, about this. If she doesn't get it through her head that this is a necessity, I'll go to one of the therapists from that site. I refuse to wait anymore. It isn't fair and people don't have the right to make me. I'm almost an adult. I know what I'm doing, and it isn't wrong. It's saving my life.
I admire you more with each post. Go for it !
.///.
Thank you, I guess, although I'm really no one to admire. Trust me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to tell my therapist?
Besides the whole...it's not dangerous after, I need it, blah blah blah. I've told her all that. What can I say that will make her listen? I even told her about the whole steroids thing. She said NOTHING.
Go for it man, you have the right attitude. If all else fails I just wanted to suggest contacting Portland's LGBT center or the closest LGBT center near you. Mine does $20 therapy sessions a couple days a week that might could talk to your aunt and uncle if they have that or you could take them to a transgender meeting, hearing others stories might make them realize how serious it is.
Come at her logically. Just remember to keep your cool. Try researching statistics that show there aren't adverse effects for younger kids. Also show them some cases where people under 18 have gotten on T, I know there are a few. Tell her you are transgender, you've made your decision, the research of others getting T under 18, and then again say you don't understand why you should have to continue being depressed when it's only a little bit of time before you're 18. That's what I would say. You know her best though so you probably know the best approach.
Tell her how much you're unable to live like that and you don't want to go to school as a girl anymore, that starting HRT might be the only thing that gives you the courage to continue and all... But I can't help that much with this, as I'm very stressed about convincing therapists and physicians.
The most frustrating thing is, everyone knows I'm trans. They're all pretty respectful, too. But this is just something they don't seem to get. And it's insane to me. I don't understand how, if they "know" what a big deal this is to me, they could sit there and watch me suffer. It makes me so mad. I'm sorry for all this crap that I'm sure you don't want to hear. I think it's that time of the month soon, ughhh. I'm just gonna go find a nice hole to hide in.
I'll research it, for sure. I actually know kids who've started when they're underage, this kid Alex started hormone blockers at twelve and T at sixteen. I will forever be jealous of him.
Have you heard of Camp Ten Trees, by the way? That's where I met Alex, haha, so I just had to bring it up.
Oh, I've been living full time as a male for the last year or two. I started really transitioning a few months after I came out, which was four years ago, and then began going to school/everywhere as a male Junior year, but before that, everyone still called me Jake and whatnot besides my teachers.
So your aunt and uncle are supportive, they just want you to wait until your 18? What if they are hoping you are just going though a phase. Saying you support someone and then doing it are very different. My mom says she isn't homophobic, but when she thought I liked women she sent me to therapy. She's ok with it, when its not her kid. When you start changing what if they can't handle it? What are you going to do if they kick you out? How much money do you have in the bank? Are you ready for worst case scenario?
I live in the Portland area, and I got my T prescription from a very transfriendly doctor at a low-cost clinic. Feel free to contact me for any info, though I don't have much more than a name and phone number. The doctor I saw, if you are interested, should be able to set you up with a few names of therapists that specialize in trans related issues.
I'm moving out in January, I turn eighteen in April, and I'm a foster kid. So they couldn't actually kick me out if they wanted to, I'd just go to a different foster home. They're just worried that T will do "bad" things to my body, even though I literally haven't grown in two years. I know my brain is still developing, but ->-bleeped-<-, I do drugs just to forget my stupid life, so who really cares?
Are you working? How do you plan on supporting yourself?
Life isn't fair, but try to hang in there. I don't understand how you can watch the people you are supposed to care about suffer either. I had severe medical problems and depression starting at 12, my mom refused to support me then. I didn't start seeing a doctor until I was 15. That was only because I was truant and the school wasn't going to keep pushing me to the next grade. I also did drugs to escape my problems. I thought about killing myself a lot, really what kept me from doing it was my dog. I didn't want to hurt my dog. After my dog died when I was 16 I tried to build a relationship with my mom, I tried family therapy. She decided it was a good time move out to live with her boyfriend. I gave her nothing to be proud of so she didn't care about my problems. Since my school was giving my mom a lot of trouble for my truancy, she sent me to a private school for fundamentalist Christians. I sat through assemblies on the LGBT agenda to ruin American and destroy Christianity. I thought about killing myself a lot. They tried to train me to be a soldier for the Lord. Instead they indirectly gave me the ability to wait. If I give up on my dreams and kill myself I will let everyone who held me back win. Even if you have to wait until you are at least 18. Don't give up hope. I've wanted to medically transition since I was 13. I'm 21 and I am still trying to get to a point where I can do it safely. I never thought I could make it this long without transitioning. I wish I could have started T at your age, I wish I could start tomorrow. I don't mean to be a downer, life isn't fair, and sometimes I still feel really hopeless. I make minimum wage now, I certainly can't imagine doing crappy jobs like this the rest of my life. I need to tough it out and get a degree so I can get a good paying job. So I can afford the future surgeries I will have to endure. So I can afford to even change my name. Got to think of the long term. Even though waiting is very taxing, I think it will provide me with a more stable future, and a smoother transition.
I don't have a job per se, but I babysit five days a week so that takes up pretty much all my free time. I don't really want to get a job until I change my name, which sounds silly. But it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I go by Jake all the time and at a job...it wouldn't really be possible. Even the teachers at my old school didn't know how to spell my legal name because it was used so rarely. A few of them probably didn't even know it.
I totally understand not wanting to do anything under you female identity. Do you really make enough money a week though?
Some employers will allow you to go by a different name on your name tag and refer to you as male. The only time your legal name would be involved would be for paychecks and such until you get it changed. It's hard to find a job like that but it is possible if you wanted a job before you change your name. Besides there are a few companies who aren't going to want people questioning an "obviously male employee" in their minds about a female name, if that makes sense?
Yo if you turn 18 in april.. you may not need to worry about getting permission from the aunt and uncle.. because it may take that long to get your prescription. Normally it takes a while to get in to see a therapist, then they are normally going to want 3 months of therapy before they will write you your letter. There's informed consent - but I do believe that's for adults only.
I know your desperate.. but 18 really isn't that far away. :/
Yes, that makes sense. I make roughly fifty-ninety dollars a week. I've thought about asking to be called a different name and all but even filling out applications is difficult for me, because when I put my legal name, they always look at me like WTF, you know?
If I've been living as a guy for so long, couldn't they speed up the letter-writing process? Or my therapist could pull her head from her ass and write me one. >.<
How are you going to live on $60 a week?
When I move out? I'm going into a housing program that will give me six hundred a month, plus getting a roommate. Money won't be an issue, as far as I'm concerned?
Wow, thats more than I make a month.
QuoteI don't have a job per se, but I babysit five days a week so that takes up pretty much all my free time. I don't really want to get a job until I change my name, which sounds silly. But it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I go by Jake all the time and at a job...it wouldn't really be possible. Even the teachers at my old school didn't know how to spell my legal name because it was used so rarely. A few of them probably didn't even know it.
My thoughts exactly... But maybe you, like me, should hope to get the necessary courage for getting a job as your birth gender with starting HRT... (because unless you stay at your parents' home for a long while AND they're very patient, you'll eventually need to. It's just how the world works. I think I know exactly how you feel.)
Quote from: jacob.ayden.averi on October 26, 2010, 11:46:10 PM
Yes, they're my legal guardians. I've been begging to start T for a long time, but they're against it. If I can set up an appointment with a transgender/hormone specialist who can talk them out of their stupidity...that's what I need to do. I've seriously been considering just buying steroids online. It's been four ->-bleeped-<-ing years. I should not have had to wait that long, it isn't fair. Nobody should have to. If I could have started when I first came out...I would look and be perceived, all the time, as a bio guy. No problem. It makes me feel so desperate. Sorry for the rant. I just feel hopeless.
Hey Dude. First off, I'm very sorry for what you're going through, it's hard on everyone who's not on T. So you're not alone; but I gotta REALLY caution against buying steroids online.
It's really not the way to go. First off, I think there is a difference between steroids and T. I think steroids are something that is man-made that is made to be like T. But steroids are not T. I've never done steroids myself or wanted to but out of curiosity, I have looked at some of those body building sites and none of the body builders mention injecting T. They say they inject stuff with weird names that I can't remember, so I don't think it's really T.
Also, since it's not really T, I don't think the steroids will help you with ALL changes. Sure you're gonna get jacked, lol, but that's about it. Have you ever seen those female body builders who are on steroids? While they are masculinized, they don't really look like men. Just manly women. Their voices might be lower, but they don't sound like guys. I think that has to do with the fact that it's not T that they are injecting, just something man made that is supposed to build muscle rather then make them men.
Anyway I could be wrong here. If I am I'd still caution against it, because
1) It's not safe.
2) You don't know what you're getting.
3) I think you might have a harder time getting on prescription T when the time is right.
OH! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! IF YOU DON'T HEED OUR ADVICE NEVER BUY MORE THEN ONE VIAL AT A TIME!!!!!!! I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!! THIS I LEARNED FROM A BODY BUILDING FORUM. IF YOU BUY MORE THEN ONE, YOU CAN GET ARRESTED FOR INTENT TO DISTRIBUTE. IT'S UNCOMMON, BUT HAPPENS. AND IF YOU BUY MORE THEN 3 OR 4 YOU CAN GET ARRESTED FOR INTENT TO SELL. <- FEDERAL OFFENSE = SWAT TEAMS RAIDS YOUR HOUSE!! :police:
jacob you're in the same situation lots of other TS found themselves in including me and the only solution if the family won't accept is for you to move out and do your own thing. In your case that will be your 18th birthday if you haven't managed to get any help from uncle and aunt.
The vast majority of TS who do go solo do eventually manage to get fully transitioned though things can be really bad at times.
But at least you have a vast store of info and suppost at your fingertips with Susan's.
Good luck with whatever.
Okay, okay. I promise to be a good boy and not buy steroids. I feel better today, mostly cuz I've been talking to this girl who's like uber supportive which is really rare for me here, to have someone my own age support me. I think she's more excited than I am about T, haha. Anyways. I hope everyone gets what they want, not just me. We all deserve to be happy.
http://www.sarabecker.com/t/index.html (http://www.sarabecker.com/t/index.html)
This site has a youth section that gives you resources for you and your guardians
I am so excited. I found my old counselor, the one who first helped me come out as trans and helped me do everything and I contacted her, emailed and called-sounding quite desperate, I'm sure-and hopefully she'll talk to me soon. I know for basically a fact that she'll write me a letter for T. Everything seems to be coming together. Finally.
that's good man. Hope she does. Keep us updated