hello again everybody
It's really nice to see the responding of my first introduction, it feels like you are stepping into a hot tub, warm and comfortable.
Well, i did n't tell very much about myself the first time i think i'm a little shy in the beginning.
But, I hope somebody is interested about what i have to tell about myself.
I'm living in The Netherlands, a small country in Europe, where everybody has an opinion about everything.
When I was a child i knew i was different, the children at school noticed that and from that moment I was their goal for bad jokes and the boys could prove to anyone how toff they are and they where looking for me all the time to get hit.
I had to cope with it and a played a roll that i was a toff guy too.
I played it so well that i was believing it myself, but it did help, they did n't look for me anymore.
At home i was playing with the dolls of my sister, my parents did not like that at all and they wanted to make a real man of me, they hit me a lot and at the end i did the things what everybody was expecting from a boy, but...i was not happy.
I get married, had a child and everybody was happy except me.
there was a dat that i was reading a magazine and there was an artikel about transsexuality, when i readed that i knew where my problem was, because it was so very recognizeble.
Well, to make a long story a bit shorter, i divorced and i went to Amsterdam because there was the only hospital in the netherlands for helping transsexuals.
I had to change career, because i was a plumber in that time
It was hard after SRS to find a job but finally i find a job as a nurse and i did the education necessary to become graduated.
my family did not talk to me for years but now i have a good relationship whit them.
My son is an adult now and it does not matter for him that i am transformed because i am the same person for him, we always had a good relation and that did n't change.
Now i am married with a women because same sex marriage is legal in the netherlands and i am working as a nurse on an E.R. unit in a hospital.
So it seems to be that everything comes together.
But, i missed something, people with the same story, troubles hope's and fears. so i went looking on the internet and find susan's place.
I 'll hope to find soulmates and i'll hope to be of some use for some people because of my long experience.
with love
annette
Hi Annette
I feel strange saying welcome to Susan's Place since I have only recently joined but welcome!
I find it strange from the perspective here in the U.S. females can do most anything they want that career wise that you would have to change your profession as a plumber except for being uncomfortable working with men who knew you as a man. While I have never actually met a woman plumber my son went to school with girls who went on to do electrical construction work.
I can relate to your early childhood experiences of being disciplined for something you could not control. My parents moved me, as a toddler, from their bedroom into the unfinished second floor which had no lights I could switch on and an opening for a staircase which hadn't been built yet nor walled around. I cried because I was lonely, afraid of the dark and of falling down through that hole. My fathers answer to comfort me was to give me a spanking because I was interrupting the sleep he needed to go to work the next day. Eventually my mother stopped him, I think by mostly shaming him. Years later I learned my father lost his father at the age of 12 which may have accounted for the way he treated me.
I wish you inner peace and happiness for the rest of your life.
Brooik
hi brooike
well, to give you an answer why I had to change career.
In that time and i am talking about the seventies, there was a separation in what was a man's job and what was a woman's job.
there was even a time in the early seventies that women have to give up their work when they get married because your husband had to take care for the income and women became housewifes.
It was a very traditional country and being gay was about the same like being a criminal.
and it was even worse to be a transsexual, you where fired.
In that time people said, when earth is going down you could better live in Holland
because everything happens 50 years later there.
In that time the U.S. was a very modern country, we saw on the tv even female busdrivers, unbelieveble for the dutch.
things have changed now and women now have the same opportunities like men
when I had my interview for a job as a nurse I lied, I've told them I was married and had a divorce and I did not worked while I was married because I had to take care of the family. I know it's not polite to lie but it was my only change to get a job
They believed me and I get the job and went to nurseschool.
So I was very lucky because a lot of my transgender sisters only had a small benefit of the social services.
I changed a few times to another hospital because of further education but now I've had a past of women's profession so things where easier.
things have changed a lot now in the last thirty years and I'm happy for all those women who do have a choice to do what they want to do.
I hope this explains what I was trying to say.
wish you a lot of love in your life
hugs
annette
Hello Annette!
I just ran across your post and I wanted to thank you for coming and joining our happy family!
As you may have found, we have all sorts of people here. From those curious lurkers, to timid first timers, to those on the path and those who have emerged on to the life that follows the time of the emerging butterfly.
We have so few here who have transitioned long ago. Back when it was much more dangerous than it is today. Those who blazed the trail for those who came after.
I want to thank you for coming here. Your wisdom and experience will be helpful to us all.
Also, in your time I'm sure that you have touched some others and gave them hope.
Thank you.
-Sandy
Annette
I am sorry, I didn't realize you had transitioned during the 70's. That makes things understandable although I did enjoy hearing the remarkable progress you have made.
Thanks for sharing.
Brook
Thanks all for your replies.
sometimes it is not quite clear what i wanted to say.
English is not my native language, so it's a bit difficult for me to express excactly what I mean.
I'll do my very best to improve it and I hope I can contribute to the community.
You are wonderfull people
lots of love
annette
Hey Annette,
Gosh, I didn't get the right magazines back then, it might have sped up things a bit :laugh:
Anyway, since we're from the same neck of the woods (I'm Belgian), I didn't want to miss saying hi to you. So here goes: hi! :icon_wave:
Love,
Emma
Hi Emma
It's good to see a neighbor on the forum.
My expirience is, het is altijd gezellig met belgische mensen
love annette
Annette,
Your English is very good.
I have enjoyed read your postings.
And admire your caring spirit.
Thank you for sharing, you make Susan's a better place.
Jillieann
Hi Jillieann
thank you for your kind words.
I enjoy the be here with my brothers and sisters in the gender struggle.
I am working in a hospital in a big international city, so sometimes i am having patients from English talking countries, like the UK, canada, australia and sometimes the USA.
So, i'm having some practice with English speaking people, but writing in English is another thing.
I think I'm far,far away from good English, but I'm learning by reading the posts and writing to you folks.
But feelings are so hard to explain in a foreighn language, it's even hard to explain in my own language.
I'm not somebody from a lot of words but more the girl how puts an arm around your shoulder when you're having a hard time.
I truly think that one gesture can say more than thousand words.
I think I am making errors sometimes in writing but I certainly mean it in a positive way.
I hope that despite my poor writing i can be a support for people how need it on the forum.
love
annette
Hi Annette. So glad you found us. Hugs
Quote from: Sandy on November 06, 2010, 10:44:14 AM
Hello Annette!
I just ran across your post and I wanted to thank you for coming and joining our happy family!
As you may have found, we have all sorts of people here. From those curious lurkers, to timid first timers, to those on the path and those who have emerged on to the life that follows the time of the emerging butterfly.
We have so few here who have transitioned long ago. Back when it was much more dangerous than it is today. Those who blazed the trail for those who came after.
I want to thank you for coming here. Your wisdom and experience will be helpful to us all.
Also, in your time I'm sure that you have touched some others and gave them hope.
Thank you.
-Sandy
Amen to that, Big Sister Sandy! Beautifully said.
Annette, several of us on here are your age, or pretty close to it. We absolutely understand what you are talking about. Don't feel like you are alone here, are too old and that nobody here can relate to you and your experiences. Several of us here absolutely can related to and appreciate what you went through.
Most of the younger people on here can relate to experiences like yours too. These young people on Susan's place are very smart, very understanding and very cool. What a crew ... they're tops!
We are VERY glad you are here. Don't worry about your English. You do just fine. Many years ago, I could speak your language pretty well. Can't do it anymore. Been too long. We're a worldwide community anyway, and you bring excellent insights and experience to us. Love your post. Thanks very much for posting.
Hi All
Sandy, I wish the trail was blazed but there are so many tg people who are still struggling with discrimination because of their gender feelings, it looks sometimes that time stood still since I've transitioned, one way or another we have to make more progress but I don't no how we can reach that.
In my opinion maybe to tell someone on the forum who's struggling with it some positive words that they still count in society, that they have friends, or a shoulder to lean on.
And Lacey lynn, thank you for your kind words, and I know I am from a certain age but I'm still feeling young, and maybe it's a long time ago since transition but many people where sooner than I was.
When I readed their stories it gave me some support, if they can do it, I can do it.
I'll hope my story will have the same effect on those who are in the beginning of transition right now.
If I can, you certainly can.
thanks for listening to my story and your replies
a big hug for all of you
annette
Annette,
You are very good at as you said
Quoten my opinion maybe to tell someone on the forum who's struggling with it some positive words that they still count in society, that they have friends, or a shoulder to lean on.
And you are already making a difference for may of us both young and old.
All I can say is thank you that you care.
Gotta Hug you back,
Jillieann
:) Hello Annette welcome to the family!
Hi Jillieann
It's so nice to get a hug from such a warm hearted lady as you are.
I'll truly hope I can contibute with my posts.
Life is okay now with me, I'm happy, I've a job I like very much ( caring for people ) I've someone who loves me but I still can remember the time when I was lonely and confused and when I can help to reduce that a little for someone else it will be my pleasure to do that.
I was living in stealth for a long time but I think the time has come to say, it has been enough.
Why should people like us have to hide, we walked a long and hard way We've been on trails where others never will come and we survived it, so we must be proud on ourselves.
When I surf the forum I sometimes read that tg's are treated like criminals or aliens, that is bothering me, they are people with hopes ideals and feelings and they should be treated with respect.
That's my motivation to join the forum, and my lifestory? well, now you know where I came from and you'll have the opportunity to know me better.
I'm proud to be a sister of you
hugs
annette
Hi Simone
thank you for welcoming
hug
annette
Hi Jennifer
thank you for your kind words
we have something in common, I like the Belgium accent too, it sounds so much softer than the accent in the Netherlands, the Belgiums are rasing the pitch more than we do in Holland.
And you've a lot to offer because you have a lot of life expirience.
But if you have questions don't hesitate to ask, we can learn from eachother.
hugs for you sister
annette