I'm not sure if it's just me or if all transgendered people suffer with a bad self image. The reason I have not posted a pic of myself is because I hate how I look in pictures. I see others pics on this site and I cannot help but feel jealous at times because you all are so great looking. I do pass as a woman without any problems and just today my theapist told me that she cannot believe how much more feminine I look since two months ago. My best friend says I look all woman.
Most people that have known me for years do not know who I am so whats my problem? Am I the only one that deals with this? I really hate it because I just can't get past my own stupid bad self image. I talk to my therapist about this issue all the time but it seems nothing sinks in my goofy brain.
20+ years AFTER transitioning, I still feel the same way. I pass well enough, but...
I have been single the same time. Maybe after I find a boyfriend those feelings will change.
I know exactly what you mean I mean apparently I pass reasonably well based on responses from strangers but I swear I look nearly as male as I ever did and I did look very male.
I've gotten in trouble for going into the guys toilets, and today I was in the female toilets quite busy at the mirror and sink nobody was reacting to me at all I still got this gut feeling. "How can they not see or be bothered by how masculine I must look?" I looked in the mirror 3 seconds was all it took before I started becoming extremely anxious about a small amount of remaining facial hair showing through foundation or, seeing my masculine chin or worrying about my small breasts and narrow hips.
Jalene I know exactly how you feel. You described my feelings perfectly. I have a terrrrrrrible self image. I can't get passed it at all. I am forcing myself through it as best as I can, going out even if I am uncomfortable. But that isn't helping my self image much.
No it's not just you-lots of us feel the same way. When I look at pictures of myself I just see the masculine features that have been there for years. T has ruined my face (my opinion) and will need surgery to correct but I have an aunt who is more masculine than I am. From the back or side is another story-I get "mam'd" all the time-& I really like it. There was a man at the bank last week who held the door for me and told me "Good morning, miss" as I walked past him. I had a really good day at work that day!
Randi 8)
Yes, we all go through this... The evil mirror, the evil camera... But mostly it is the evil critique of ourselves that is the true problem
Genetic women go through this as well... I've seen beautiful women that rant and cry that they are fat and ugly... Go figure... I have two older sisters
I was waiting at a busy store to buy a lotto ticket the other day and started feeling insecure because I felt like I was being ignored
"Maybe I don't pass... Maybe I'm ugly" went through my mind "Surely the young man checking is much more interested in helping the cute young college girls"
Suddenly he stopped and held up his hand and told them all to wait a moment because he had to help the lady that had been patiently waiting awhile
I thought maybe there was another lady... But no, he walked over and ran my ticket for me
One of the best ma'ams I'd gotten in awhile
So what's the lesson? ... Don't beat yourself up
What Virginia said.
We are our worst critics.
On BTW Roger Vadim was married to Bridgette Bardot and I think Jane Fonda, at diferent times :laugh:. He said that neither were comfortable going out in public because they didn't look good.
And we have doubts?
Cindy
Thanks girls. When I'm in public I do fine and never have an issue going into town. I get hit on at least once a week. But as soon as the mirror is present such as when I'm clothes shopping I lose it. I was going to take a pic to put on this site about 10 days ago. I got the camera out and was going to set the timer and I started shaking so bad and had quite an anxiety attack so I didn't do it. I hope in time this will pass for all of us. I guess I need to keep in mind that I look a great deal like 4 of my sisters and from what I'm told one older sister and I could pass as twins. But trying and shut off the brain is another thing.
Cindy makes a good point.
If we are unsure of ourselves, it tends to send out a sort of vibe.
I'm sure the explaination is considerably more prosaic, but if we think everyone is looking at us, generally they will.
Kinda reinforcing the old addage, We create our own realities.
just when i thought im the only one with this problem
i have a bad self image too even when my friends say im cute and beautiful i still think nah they are just being nice to me every time i look at the mirror i feel hideous
but in my case it came from mom cause she always brag about how beautiful my brother and sister are and tell me why didnt i turn out to look like them (thats cause she cant accept the fact that im trans) while on the other hand people always say im waaay hotter than my sister i still cant believe it cause i need to hear it from the person i love the most my own mom
but lately i started this thing :
when ever i feel ugly i just say in my head i might be ugly but god gave a drop dead gorgeous loving soul that shines through and effects everyone around me
just say that to your self and you will feel better or always try to remember the great things about your personality that will make you feel better
Plus im sure you look great like most of trans girls here they are wow from inside out
i love this site cause every girl here makes her sisters feel better about them selves
so cheer up i post my pics i sometimes feel ugly its a normal human feeling not just trans people get it
I know I'm no cutie; I'm a 58 year old whose nose has been broken 3 times, but when I see myself now I'm just an ugly, old woman with a bad nose! lol But I love myself! I'm a narcissist! When I was a man I hated to see pictures of myself or even look in a mirror. Now I love mirrors and reflective glass windows. Self-acceptance has done wonders for my self-image.
BTW - my rhinoplasty is scheduled for this Friday, so soon I'll just an ugly, old woman with a pretty nose!
Jamie
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Jamie.
You're an inspiration.
I have a low self esteem, but it's weird because I know I am hot but I believe I am not because I am still overweight. And I know once I lose weight people are in awe of my immense hotness (and I am still not even average weight yet). But once I gained a little too much people turn away from me.
Starvation time! I am going to be 110 lbs soon enough! Muahaha. Skinnnny rocks.
I am 190 lbs.