An extremely grieved net friend gave me her number.She is crumbling for a bunch of reasons and asked me to call her. But the problem is that she has no idea that I am transgender. What should I do now...
PLZ，help me and help her. Don't want to run a risk of being discriminated,after all that's the group I deeply loved.
But also want to help my friend.
How could I have both ways plz
Call her and let the chips fall where they may. She needs you and just wants to talk. Don't worry about it.
But I don't want to scare her or make things more complicated...She is grieving and deeply troubled and ...Our group can accept homosexual friends, but not us. I knew that.Could it be that it is the last chance before I m kicked out of my group ?
There is nothing saying you have to tell her now,She needs an ear.
If she's a friend, you try to help her.
My voice...
And I am at my real age on the internet.
Thank you so much ...
I don't want to scare her.or others.
How much of an age difference have you given?
Your friend needs help. You need to call her.
I really don't believe you even had to think about going to someone's aid. How long has it taken to make this post and wait for answers ?????
Your friend needs your help and you have to ask what to do?????
?I have to say I am shocked..... I must inhabit a different world to some of the members on this board.
Come on, Do you have any suggestions that can help me have it both ways ?I have my difficulties or troubles that is too hard to metion.
Quote from: Catherine on November 04, 2010, 10:50:19 AM
Your friend needs help. You need to call her.
I am trying to help her with the messages now, but girls can be emotional. I am afriad that she wants to listen to my voice anyway and thus striked by anger
Quote from: spacial on November 04, 2010, 10:48:57 AM
How much of an age difference have you given?
None, I am at my real age on the net,so imagine an adult man has a pre-teen child's voice...
That's the problem of lying.
Step up to the plate and be an adult, if you consider her to be a friend, you try to help.
This will give you a chance to be honest with her about who you are.
Quote from: Just_me on November 04, 2010, 10:53:08 AM
I am trying to help her with the messages now, but girls can be emotional. I am afriad that she wants to listen to my voice anyway and thus striked by anger
She is really your friend. You should call her if she needs help.
If she has some ulterior motive then she isn't your friend.
There are plenty of guys who have higher pitched or more effeminate voices. Just call her and try to help. If she brings it up or asks questions you can decide from there if you want to tell her or just try to avoid it. Chances are if she's upset enough that she's asking you to call her and talk she isn't gonna pay much attention to your voice.
No my friends can never accept transgenders.I have been watching and sounding out their intention in the past. But ...
I love them anyway
OK I decide to try.
The number had been busy now,and the message hasn't been reply.
...
I dont know what's going on there...
Still no reply
Another forum moderator pmed me that he is comforting her
Thank God...!!!
!!!!!!!
and :
quote: By "I am afriad that she wants to listen to my voice anyway and thus striked by anger"
I mean I am afriad that she wants to listen to my voice anyway and thus she will be striked by anger
.....Sorry for my English level...
I can undrstand your caution. But in those circumstances, I would have just called. But that's me. I almost always identify as female but with my real age. Though my voice is quite deep, largely from a lot of shouting and screeming when I was younger.
Still, it's worked out OK in the end.
Well I am glad you tried to help
If she needs to talk again, you could tell her that your voice is unusually high because of a medical problem you'd rather not talk about. That way, you'd be telling the truth yet maintaining your privacy. I used to know a guy whose voice sounded like it had never changed (sounded female, basically). In retrospect, I recognize that he might have been ftm, but at the time, I just assumed it was due to an injury or medical problem that would be too personal to talk about. Our other friends seemed to think the same thing.
Find a voice changer.
With respect to Alex and Sharky, I suggest you don't try to disguise your voice at all. Just act natural and let the other person do the talking.
I say this because faking it, never works.
I understand how you must feel Just_me. If she is severely depressed and finds out you're not who she thinks you are, this could push her over the edge. Caution was definitely needed in this instance.
Once she is okay, maybe you will have to come clean unless your voice deepens over time while you're transitioning. If it's a long distance friendship and will remain so, then it's up to you what you tell her. :)
Quote from: spacial on November 04, 2010, 07:58:44 PM
With respect to Alex and Sharky, I suggest you don't try to disguise your voice at all. Just act natural and let the other person do the talking.
I say this because faking it, never works.
These are words of extreme wisdom. Thank you, Spacial.
IMO, friendship is a spiritual thing. There is an old, old, literary saying:
"More than kisses, words mingle souls."
Be you, be real, just call ... either now or in the future. You might be pleasantly surprised at the reaction. Like the Nike slogan says: "Just Do It."