Do you hoard heels at home and never wear them in public? Why do you do that if you currently do so? And how do you overcome that mental block?
I am 5'6", which is within the average female range. I rely on my height to pass better. Wearing heels makes me lose my sense of comfort about passing. I already tower over most women I meet and heels would make me look even taller, which would attract even more attention to me.
It's normal to be apprehensive about passing in public at first, but you've obviously been exposed to some very negative situations that have had a lasting effect on you. I don't know where those events occurred, but I suggest you avoid those places in the future. You need to seek out safe public venues and always go out with a friend or two. I've never experienced anything like you mentioned and I've been going out in heels and dressed since the '80s. But I admit, I'm very careful.
I suspect your friends are right about your passing well. Your height is enviable for a MTF person. Most of us are much taller. I'm 5' 11" shoeless, but I love the way I look in high heels. My legs are proportionally short so they visually lengthen my legs when I wear things like skinny jeans or pencil skirts. Still, I don't wear them often for the sake of walking comfort. I think the key is to always dress as others do where you are going. If it's a formal situation at which most women are wearing heels, you may stand out more by not wearing them.
Lyric