I was at the bar last night, presenting as female, and ended up talking to some guy I had never met before. After we had been talking for a while, he started saying I reminded him of one of his "guy friends", like he saw me as just like some guy he knew but in a female body. I thought that was cool. Cool that someone basically recognized my situation without any hints. Little things like that can mean a lot. So I thought I'd share.
Gotten this countless times!
The last time was when I was in this writing class and of course I had to sign up with my legal name and all. Anyway, there was one old guy (late 60's early 70s) in the class and after class one day we were walking out to the parking lot and just started talking. Ended up talking to him for 2 hours and the entire time he treated me just like any other guy. We talked about fishing and camping and exploring the Pacific Northwest coast ... At the end of it he gave me a pat on the back and just said "see you next class, kid!" which I thought was funny that he wouldn't even use my name. I feel like a lot of times when I interact with people they just kind of subconsciously know I'm a guy.
When I was younger and picking up on this I found it fascinating that all the guys that ever hit on me did so because they saw me as more male. Which I thought was funny because most of them were straight. Do a lot of straight guys like chicks that are more like men? Do they treat them with more respect because they really do see them as equals? Hmm.
Yeah, I get that kind of thing a lot too, but more from people I know than from total strangers. (I do get sir'd quite a bit by people who just glance at me in public; I'm referring to people I've actually talked to.) In my experience, most people judge you based solely on what you look like until you've had a certain number of conversations with them (like 5?). And this goes for everything, not just gender.
Also, people don't usually state it so directly. Usually, they just treat me like a guy without saying anything about it.
So it was interesting to hear something like that from someone I barely knew.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on November 09, 2010, 10:27:23 PMDo a lot of straight guys like chicks that are more like men? Do they treat them with more respect because they really do see them as equals? Hmm.
First question - I think a lot of straight guys do. Definitely not all, but perhaps a majority of them? I know that guys seem to like it that I have masculine hobbies, that I'm matter-of-fact and unemotional, that I like to talk about stuff we're both into (as opposed to that emotional bonding thing that women do), that I'm kind of ballsy, that I have a crass sense of humor, etc. Seems like a lot of straight guys essentially want a man in a female body. But it could just me more common among the people I hang out with - music people.
Second question - Possibly. Yeah, a lot of guys do treat me with more respect when they've gotten to know me and seen that I'm on their level in terms of guy things. But maybe women earn their respect in other ways. I don't know what it's like to earn a guy's respect as a woman. It's possible that women are respected equally but differently . . ? Assuming the guy's not a misogynist.
Quote from: Alexmakenoise on November 09, 2010, 10:49:37 PM
Second question - Possibly. Yeah, a lot of guys do treat me with more respect when they've gotten to know me and seen that I'm on their level in terms of guy things. But maybe women earn their respect in other ways. I don't know what it's like to earn a guy's respect as a woman. It's possible that women are respected equally but differently . . ? Assuming the guy's not a misogynist.
Yeah this is kind of a mystery area for me too. I've had very little experience dealing with other guys who treated me as female, so it's hard to tell. It's like, I personally feel I have the male brain, but my experiences are really different from the average bio male.