My real name is very much gender-neutral, and I was wondering whether or not I should change it when I transition.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both, the main advantage would be that nobody would have to get used to calling me by another name, there would be no slip ups etc.
The only problem there is that people would still associate me with my "former life", relating me back to the "male" person I used to be.
So, if you had a gender-neutral name, would you change it?
Hmm, I don't think I would change it. At least not right away. If it was something like Jordan or Alex I wouldn't mind but since my name is really male sounding "Hunter" (There, I said it xD) I've decided to change it.
I don't think I would change mine if it was gender neutral. That would save a LOT of work!
I can understand where you're coming from.
But it's really up to you.
One advantage of changing is that it marks a boundry between what you had and what you are going to gat from now.
One advantage of keeping is that you are not really changing as such. You are who you've always been. You've just had a few physical problems sorted.
No people still call me by my male name alot even tho my female name has nearly replaced everything.
Quote from: Dana Lane on November 13, 2010, 04:54:38 AM
I don't think I would change mine if it was gender neutral. That would save a LOT of work!
I would agree with that, in my own case my former name was Paul, when I started transition my parents just add ''ine'' Im Pauline every since, theres a lot to be said for having a gender neutral name, if I had been born a girl Id say Id have been called Pauline, btw I really hated being Paul but thats for another thread, having a gender neutral name as Dana says, saves a lot of work.
p
Although my male name was not gender neutral, I can understand your dilema, and it's something I've thought about. I would probably change my name. Because the name is tied to so much more, most importantly, it's tied to your old life and your old persona. It would be hard for people to change their perception of you while still calling you by the old name.
Quote from: SamanthaFLA on November 13, 2010, 09:33:20 AM
Although my male name was not gender neutral, I can understand your dilema, and it's something I've thought about. I would probably change my name. Because the name is tied to so much more, most importantly, it's tied to your old life and your old persona. It would be hard for people to change their perception of you while still calling you by the old name.
Yes that is exactly what I mean! Good and bad in both things really, I mean, I like my name, it's just that people will just assume I am still exactly the same person as I always have been. This could be quite confusing as I would be reassuring close friends and family that I AM still the same, but on the other hand I am not?
??? ???
Quote from: lightvi on November 13, 2010, 04:52:45 AM
Hmm, I don't think I would change it. At least not right away. If it was something like Jordan or Alex I wouldn't mind but since my name is really male sounding "Hunter" (There, I said it xD) I've decided to change it.
What?? Hunter's a gorgeous female name! :o (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AqpkBrJr8ArYyfM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.alwaysgirls.com%2Fbigimage%2F1024%2Fhunter_tylo01.jpg%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=8cab30584c5859caec1ed76ef8c19f477424b107)
I get the sense that I would change it.
It sends a clear message to myself and others that the old me was no more.
Certain people are ok with certain things, others are not.
For me it was a pretty clear choice. For one my old name meant beloved father, for another... it was a clear point where I could say that even legally things are different and my life is different from my old life.
My birth name was gender neutral but I still changed it. I would say to myself that I would keep it, but when I saw boys with that name I would get embarrassed and when Kyle came to mind, I just knew it wasn't going to work that way because it wasnt me.
My name is pretty feminine and girly. If I had a gender neutral name, it would depend on if I liked the name. If I didn't, I would change it.
Quote from: lightvi on November 13, 2010, 04:52:45 AM
Hmm, I don't think I would change it. At least not right away. If it was something like Jordan or Alex I wouldn't mind but since my name is really male sounding "Hunter" (There, I said it xD) I've decided to change it.
I don't consider Hunter a male-sounding name. My best friend's cousin's name is Hunter and she's female.
I definitely would. One cannot possily hope to maintain stealth with the same name. Plus, even if my name were gender-neutral, I would probably still see it as too male for me to feel okay for it, because of the life I have lived up until now.
I'm pretty sure I'd keep it the same if my birth name was gender neutral. Just easier I guess.
Samuel → Samantha, most people call me Sam or Sammy/Sammi anyways, or 'Princess' (bit of a story). I'm really really really glad my name is mostly gender neutral; it'd confuse me to no end if I had to change it.
Hmm, this is an issue I'll will be dealing with myself. My name is an English phonetic translation of my (country & language of birth) name, hence absolutely gender neutral in English. In fact, even in its original language, where there's a definitely feminine version, an internet search reveals plenty of female that uses its current form.
Having such a name has definitely made life easier so far. A change will give a clean and obvious break, and given how active I was as a university student among other things which has left a huge amount of internet trace, with the relatively unique (in English) name, even semi-stealth will be impossible without a change.
I don't know. :-\
I think I would, It would depend on the actull name.
Changing your name is a big decision, I can understand what u are going through... But its all down to what I would associate with my name & what it represents to me .... if it were up to me on one hand it will be tough because I would be attached to the name if I had a good experiences while I was by that name but would change it if it was too painful ... I really would not want to until the last possible moment as it is an important step imho. :icon_tetter:
Quote from: Nero on November 13, 2010, 12:28:01 PM
What?? Hunter's a gorgeous female name! :o (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AqpkBrJr8ArYyfM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.alwaysgirls.com%2Fbigimage%2F1024%2Fhunter_tylo01.jpg%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=8cab30584c5859caec1ed76ef8c19f477424b107)
You really think so? I've never met any girls named Hunter but then again I don't meet very many people lol. Oh who's the person in the picture btw? :)
Honestly, I've never liked Andy, even when I was trying to do the whole "I'm a man" thing. It always seemed to reek of backwood gas-station attendant hick to me.
It's actually a bit ironic; when my mom first became pregnant, my dad told her "If we have a son, his name will be Andrew. Andrew means manly, and that's how he's going to be."
I obviously wasn't there to hear this, but my mom seems to think it's a funny story to tell 800 times.
Hi.
Well mine is & still is Noel or no-el , is both male & female that is my birth name.s as you know its now noeleena... my 2nd was edward now edwina,, & all legal my other 2 names are male .
i will allways be noel to some friends & thats cool.
...noeleena...
Ryan is a pretty neutral name.
What I'm doing is this:
Anyone who knows me before transition can call me Ryan. My friends, my family, all those peeps. They know this part of me- this transition from Boy to Girl and everything it entails.
Everyone after will know me as Alia. Alia represents femininity, as well as the knife that cuts to kill my former shield that hid me from the world. Alia gives me the power to assert myself as feminine. It's also significantly more clearly gendered, so it will aid in passing. It also starts great conversation with fellow Dune nerds.
When people get close enough, they'll meet my friends and family and say "why do they call you Ryan, Alia?"
At which point its time to make an important decision in regards to the future of my friendship with this person.
Two names serve as a gateway by which I'll keep out those that don't belong.
Legally, my name will be Alia Ryan (insert last name). Which is much more neutral than Ryan William (Insert last name).
OK I'm out! three days of sport climbing in the freezing F***ing cold desert, no shaving and gross man beardness. Woot! Hooray for green toenails and vestiges of my girliness!
Well technically my name wasn't gender neutral, but I never used it anyway and introduced myself as Jamie, so I could have kept it as a first name...in the end however I elected to keep it as a middle name because having a new name and keeping my old given name felt like i was saying that I'm still me, regardless of the journey I'm going through.
From a foreigner's perspective, Ryan, Hunter and Andy are all pretty male-exclusive name... But maybe I just think this because of TV characters.
Quote from: A on November 14, 2010, 07:27:34 PM
From a foreigner's perspective, Ryan, Hunter and Andy are all pretty male-exclusive name... But maybe I just think this because of TV characters.
I don't know about Ryan and Hunter, but I know a number of girls named Andrea who shorten it to Andy.
My name isn't really gender neutral, it's more of the kind that has a male and female version: Emmanuel. The funny thing with this name is that it's seldom written correctly from the first time. I think that is largely due to the soft porn movies from the 80ies) with a similar name (Emmanuelle 1 through 7 :angel:). At the same time people find the name too long so every shortens it. At work they call me Emma or E, at home they call me Eve, my cousins call me Nel and my friends call me Pookey. Oh and in Junior High (back in the eighties) they called me 8... (which is funny now, but not back then).
Conclusion: I'm keeping my name, I'm simply making it feminine (Emmanuelle) and adding Marie in front of it, but that's a whole different story
Emma
This is interesting. Here, we shorten Emmanuel(le) as Manu.
I would not have changed my name if it had been a gender nuetral one.
I do not mind my birth name. It is a string of letters just like any other, no big deal.
However society makes a big deal of gender inapropriate names so I figured it just makes sense to have it changed.
Luckily for me I had a female name I have ussed since early childhood for when I was en femme. Cynthia has been with me almost as long as <male name>. Just hiden away and kept secret.
Quote from: A on November 20, 2010, 11:30:12 AM
This is interesting. Here, we shorten Emmanuel(le) as Manu.
Same here, and it's what my first wife used to call me. However, I never really liked the sound of it. So I encourage people to either :police: use my name as it is or be differently creative about it :P
Love,
Emma
Probably not. Getting my name legally changed was so much of a hassle so I wouldn't want to deal with the process if it was avoidable. I just got a name change certificate in the mail last week, after a 3 month wait, in which they sent my paperwork back once, asking me to sign a form stating that I am indeed transgendered (even though such form was not mentioned or made available on the registrar office website.). And, as a final insult, the envelope that held the certificate was addressed to my name of birth. Not the easiest process in the world, though the end result was worth it.
I have so many nicknames my real name is almost irrelevant, but I'm adorable enough that people tend to automatically default to a gender-neutral version of it anyway.