Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Cody Jensen on November 15, 2010, 12:47:20 AM

Title: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: Cody Jensen on November 15, 2010, 12:47:20 AM
SO. I know I said I wasn't planning on coming out any time soon, but I KIND of came out to my sister just ten minutes ago on the phone. We were talking about my cousin and how he is trans and feels like a girl stuck in a boy's body. As some of you know, my case is the opposite (a boy stuck in a girl's body). I asked my sister what she would think if this were the case for me (so that she wouldn't suspect anything because we were already on the subject) because the family doesn't seem to be taking my cousin's transition very well. She said she would still love me, but would be surprised, and that's probably why the family is reacting to my cousin, not because they don't love him, but because they're surprised. This makes me feel more confident somehow to know that my sister would still love me if I ever did officially plan on coming out, however, I'm still terrified of the very thought.  :o And now for some reason I feel stupid for even bringing it up with her. I am worried she might suspect something now. What do you think? Any advice?  :-\
Title: Re: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: Melody Maia on November 15, 2010, 12:55:22 AM
I would say if she didn't suspect something before, you probably got the wheels turning in her mind now. Given her positive reaction and the fact that you have a perfect way of bringing it up with your cousin, you might bring it up in a more direct way. Only if you feel you are ready. It sounds like you are dipping your toe in that water though.
Title: Re: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: Cody Jensen on November 15, 2010, 12:59:50 AM
I am only scared just in case I might NOT be trans! There are a few days when I still feel like a girl though! It's so messed up and confusing. I don't want this to be something I regret JUST in case!!
Title: Re: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: Pundit on November 15, 2010, 01:05:55 AM
She said she'd still love you, but you never truly know how someone will react until you tell them. People like to think positively about themselves, so of course they'd say they'd react in a positive way ("I'd still love you"). Some things are just too shocking for people to react in a positive way, though. You never really know. So, even though she said she'd still love you, I'd be cautious in telling her.

Anyway, I definitely wouldn't tell her if you're not 100% sure you're TS. And she probably doesn't suspect anything, since you two were already on the subject of transsexualism.
Title: Re: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: Debra on November 15, 2010, 09:54:58 AM
Sounds fine to me. Sounds like she has the right idea...it is a surprise sometimes.....hopefully once initial surprise is over, the real love does come forward.
Title: Re: I came out to my sister?! (Sort of)
Post by: xAndrewx on November 15, 2010, 03:49:12 PM
Josh, I'd say you've given yourself a good start if you come to the conclusion you are trans for sure and decide to come out to her. You know your family best but if I were in your shoes then I wouldn't mention it and only discuss it again if she brings it up or you decide to tell her for sure that you are trans.

I never had the girly days because I haven't worn girl clothes since I was allowed to choose my own clothing when I was around 6. Everyone is different though. I've seen your other posts around the site and it's great that you are taking the time to learn and sort out your feelings.