so... I wander around the internet and identify with ftm's, but when it gets down to it I dont want a man's body. I dont really want this female body either. My breasts are huge and hurt without binding them... binding is kinda out of the question. I cant afford surgery any time soon, and hormones either way would just polarize me into something Im not. I cut my hair off and that helps some, but even with that I am always read as female. I dont belong in any of the boxes, not trans enough for the T and not queer enough for the Q... but really its just fn lonely to not belong to anyone or anything or any group. I get the A, but Im freakin 42 and not all cool like that, the andro look on me would just be silly. I dont feel like I belong anywhere
nothing wrong with not letting a label define you, nor wanting to change into something more comfy (hair, no makeup, clothing, maybe breast reduction once affordable).
as far as the feeling of not fitting, there are times when it's best to lead instead of follow.
*humbled* yes, Im seeing that as well. I am an "untraditional" college student, my life experience has created opportunities for leadership in that setting. I guess Im just not used to swimming alone in my box yet... its an odd contradiction to finally find a truth that fits, but doesnt fit with anything else
I'm fine swimming alone in a box, it is others who have a problem with it. If no one cared that you were andro, whether or not it is 'cool', would you care about the label?
As an aside, no such thing as andro clothes, as tekla said once, Once you buy them, they are your clothes, not male, female, or anything else.
Repeat along with me...age is just a number...it's never too late to have a happy adolescence...getting old is natural, but being too old for something is a choice...
The thing is...if you dressed androgyne, you'd just be I.D.'ed as butch lesbian.Welcome to my world, I think?
This wouldn't necessarily be as silly as you think...but if you're actually into guys, you'd pretty much elimi-date your opportunities.
Great look for picking up women in practical shoes, though. ;)
I have recently been hit upside the head by the wet mackerel of androgeneity myself-I just always thought I was a butch female...umm, not so much. I I.D. as closer to still-female, though.
Quote from: susurration9 on November 23, 2010, 07:43:46 PM
I dont feel like I belong anywhere
That sounds like you're unique. Which is pretty good really. Most people seem to drift into medocrity.
But seriously, I do undrstand where you are right now.
Here, you're with friends.
Unique is good and I agree age is just a number. Just be you, whoever you feel like being. Get clothes you want to wear, act how you want to act, and anyone who has a problem with it will have to learn to get over it. That's my opinion anyways.
I second previous comments. Besides, since when does androgyne have an age? Androgyny as a fashion may be in for the teeny boppers but that's not what we're talking about here. If there's a such thing as a 42 year old man or woman (or 82, or 22, or 12), there's such a thing as a 42 year old androgyne. You don't have to be 'cool' to be anydrogyne. It's a gender expression, not a fashion statement.
thank you dear ones for such wonderful replies!! in retrospect I sounded fairly self-pitying there, sorry... that "I dont fit anywhere" feeling was just kind of acute the other night. thank you all again for your kindness!
42? That makes you about 20 years younger than Jagger , Bowie or Duffo. At least you aren't boring!
Quote from: susurration9 on November 25, 2010, 08:52:03 PM
thank you dear ones for such wonderful replies!! in retrospect I sounded fairly self-pitying there, sorry... that "I dont fit anywhere" feeling was just kind of acute the other night. thank you all again for your kindness!
Nah, not self pitying at all. Sometimes we all just need to get problems into perspective. One of the best ways to do that is to discuss it with friends who you know, will take you seriously and treat you with respect.
That've what we are here. :)
Flan said it best ........... ellen
Gender queer pride!
"Normal" is for stunted humans content to live a life of diminished capacity. Not for free-range individuals who insist on experiencing the entire possible emotional range and realizing their true potential. For us, "fitting in" is a diminuation.
I'm also non-binary identified and had some trouble coming to that conclusion. When I first started having body issues, I was in middle school, and because I didn't like turning into a woman and wasn't too hot on the idea of becoming a man, I decided I must have been ungendered. But, for me, that's not quite right either. I want some masculine features, and the rest, I just want them to be un-feminine, which has led me to the conclusion that, if I have to choose a label, transmasculine is the best one for me.
I think it's very dangerous to call yourself "not trans enough" or "not queer enough". That kind of thinking kept me from finding like-minded people for a long time; I felt like I wasn't welcome in LGBTQ spaces or that I'd be seen as an outsider when, in fact, most communities are very welcoming and wouldn't stand for anyone telling anyone else that they're "not _____ enough". More and more people are identifying as genderqueer and other non-binary identities, at every age, so don't exclude yourself from (on-line and "real life") communities where you might have the opportunity to be yourself.
Ah, welcome. You may have noticed by now that you're not alone. Isn't that awesome? :) Stop by the Androgyne section of the forums if you desire; there are many of us there who aren't exactly young teenyboppers :P I think you'll find us a very diverse group. Glad to have you aboard.
"There are six billion stories on this planet. This is one of them" Dum da Dum Dum!!
Seriously, if you accept that we are all unique then there are really six billion genders as well as people.
I try and keep that in mind when I am feeling dissatisfied with my situation. Sometimes it helps more than others, but it is a worthwhile world-view.