For those that don't know about me, I figured I am neutral gender.
I know from researching, neutral gender could be attracted to men and women. I myself am attracted to women more, tho playing online as a female character I had a few online BFs that I liked by personality.
My question is for those androgynes that feell they are not of either gender, how do you feel about being labeled as the gender you are born as, or how when you are around people that are same as the gender you was labeled as at birth.
For me, tho I have social anxiety I am ok with being around females because they are easier to talk to and won't laugh at interest in things I have. Around males, I tend to feel intimidated by them, not exactly sure why could be social issues kicking in or something else, I have no physical attractions to them atleast with ones I see irl, other things are another story.
As for being labeled, I am currently ok with the male pronouns, just when people refer to me as male gender I tend to dislike it because it is something I don't feel I am nor do I really want to be associated with it. (i.e. Women stereotyping "Men are stupid." and many others I've heard but don't come to mind at the moment...) Which I'm know all guys hate when women say it. I feel I am different from male gender so when I hear someone say this and that about me because to them I'm a male, to me I kinda take offense to it like I'm a cat, I walk like a cat, meow like a cat and they call me a dog. Odd way to put it, but you get the idea. O_o;;
Only difference is to them it is not so obvious that I'm a cat. XD
I have a weird way of thinking, very random thoughts and so many of them I often lose what I was trying to say, might find it later on. Hope someone understands what I am trying to say and don't laugh at me. T_T
Quote from: Lunartiger on December 25, 2006, 12:41:20 AM
My question is for those androgynes that feell they are not of either gender, how do you feel about being labeled as the gender you are born as, or how when you are around people that are same as the gender you was labeled as at birth.
I don't really care unless someone makes a big deal of it, like trying to say that I can't own stuffed animals because I am a "guy"
I usually counter such silly statements by telling them the name of my stuffed animals.
I also wondered if being a androgyne could affect relationships, I've been dumped by girls that we never had a single fight or disagreement, just an almost sudden I think we should split up. Never figured out why either. @_@
I'm not male and I'm not female, I'm "something else"; usually I just shorten that to "other" and let it go at that. I'd be curious to hear how that compares to neutral.
Very few people label me as the gender I was born as. They usually label me as the sex I was born as. That may sound trivial or nitpicky but that's really the issue I'm dealing with. I have no problem being called male when we're dealing with my sex. I don't like it when people tell me I can't do something or I have to do something because of my gender, especially when they mistakenly believe that my gender is male.
I don't really have a problem with people of any gender. I don't like being around jerks. But being a jerk has nothing to do with your gender. I guess I really can't identify when people prefer to be with people of one gender and not so much the other gender.
It bothers me too when women put men down and vice versa. But I'm not even going to get started on that part of the battle of the sexes.
Quote from: Casey on December 26, 2006, 08:57:18 AM
Very few people label me as the gender I was born as. They usually label me as the sex I was born as. That may sound trivial or nitpicky but that's really the issue I'm dealing with. I have no problem being called male when we're dealing with my sex. I don't like it when people tell me I can't do something or I have to do something because of my gender, especially when they mistakenly believe that my gender is male.
I would have said the same thing even when I considered my gender to be male. Now that I recognize that "male" isn't the whole story about my gender, I still say that someone can be interested in, and excel at, poetry, painting, and cooking, and be no less of a man, or be interested in, and excel at, kung fu, computer science, and video games, and be no less of a woman. These, in fact, both describe close friends of mine.
If people wouldn't worry so much about whether some behavior is typical (that's all they're really worrying about when they say "appropriate" or anything else) for their gender, or for their child's sex, a lot of people would be a lot happier. They won't change their children by limiting them -- at least not for the better.
QuoteMy question is for those androgynes that feell they are not of either gender, how do you feel about being labeled as the gender you are born as, or how when you are around people that are same as the gender you was labeled as at birth.
I very much dislike being referred to with male pronouns, even after all these years, someone calling me sir can ruin my day, especially if by people who know me. I am another gender than birth sex, and would be more comfortable being referred to with pronouns and gender identifiers other than he or she.
zythyra
I meant to put something about pronouns and totally forgot. I'm OK with "he". I've never been called "she" in a non-mean way but I guess that would be OK if they meant well. "They" doesn't work for me, and "it" is totally out of the question. I guess I don't feel comfortable just now trying out genderqueer pronouns.
Quote from: Lunartiger on December 25, 2006, 10:20:14 PM
I also wondered if being a androgyne could affect relationships, I've been dumped by girls that we never had a single fight or disagreement, just an almost sudden I think we should split up. Never figured out why either. @_@
First off I am an androgyne that is neither/either at the same time. I like to refer to it as noncategorical. I do tend to be a bit gender fluid, but I am not bi-gendered as some on this board.
I have had relationships end because I WAS much more androgynous then they thought, at the same time I wound up in two great relationships because I was so androgynous. I was told in relationships that they could not handle being with somebody so feminine (this is the nice way of putting it, but it was expressed to me in several differant ways, many in a cruel manner). This hurt not because of my androgyny and I was embaressed about it, but rather it hurt because they could not accept my androgyny, which is so central to who I am.
I will say my asexuality was a much greater barrier then my androgyny, but androgyny definately creates issues. I have a psychological androgyny that cuts very deep, and has a definate effect on my thinking and behavioral patterns.
With most people that know me...yikes most who know me well describe me as nondescript or noncategorical. Not neutral, but noncategorical. This is probably the best describer I have as far as gender. Though nobody ever really refers to me as masculine, in fact I am more often refered to as feminine (when noncategorical is not used).
I have been mistaken for a woman at points in my life (I have a small frame, and I had long hair). Not so much anymore (except by little children still).
To tell you the truth I do not like to get to hung up with pronouns, though I definately do not like them. I rarely use them in songs (save for story songs where using gender pronouns may be necessary to tell the story). Though people just usually use my nickname when refering to me, no pronouns, which is kinda nice. I honestly can care less what pronouns people use to refer to me.
Oh I wish I wish, I could be refered to some other way other then the masculine language set, Mx would be so much nicer, just that one little thing. Also I don't like my birth sex being attached to my gender. If I had a way to change it to something other then M or F, I would. I wish there was a third option, just in terms of language and forms. I guess India has recently made a nice step forward in recognizing a third gender in terms of legal documents with Eunuchs in that country. But America is so stuck in a binary system in so many ways. Hell I would love to free myself of gender completely.
As far as who I spend time around with the birth sex male. Well most men KNOW I am differant, as do most females. It is pretty easy to figure out. The thing is overly masculine males, I do not like to spend time with, I am uncomfortable and can only take it so long. But most men I am friends with are not overly masculine, they are artists, musicians and gay guys. Though most of my close friends are androgynes and transgendered folks.
I will say I have about as many female friends as male friends. I manage to keep everything relitively equal with regards to friends. I will say I do not like masculinity in its extreme and most men who fall into it.