Everyone says I look "cute" (girly cute) and the other day I asked my sister (who hasn't got a clue that I'm possibly transgendered) if I looked like a boy (I had my hair back and everything) and she said "no, why would you say that? You have a very feminine face." That p!ssed me off for some reason and really upset me. I realize that I do have quite girly features (obviously, because I was born a girl). So I don't know why that was such a shocker. Anyways. That concerned me on how I was going to manage passing as a male if I ever wanted to transition. I have heard of surgeries to make the jaw look more like a man's but I am guessing that is invasive and painful and I am already considering so many surgeries otherwise. So yea...this was partly a rant I guess. And any tips on how I can pass as a boy (may sound like a stupid question)?
Hey Josh.
I do have a similar problem. 6 months ago there was no chance I was going to pass as male. I have quite a "cute" face which tends to look feminine to most people. For some reason i've been passing more recently. I've cut my hair. Not too short for fear of just looking like a butch lesbian instead of a guy. Its just above my shoulders and a leave it really shaggy. If its straight and to my face I look like a girl but shaggy, messy hair makes me look more boyish. Also the clothes I wear often make people mistake me for a guy. I wear quite baggy male clothing. As its winter I'm always wearing a really big black coat that hides my chest and just makes my body look more masculine. I tend to wear a lot of hats too like beanies and deer stalkers which for some reason makes me look more boyish. The problem is that when I do get mistaken for a guy people think Im about 13-15 because I do have a cute face. Also its not all about how you look. I have a very manly walk (my friends used to laugh at me for that in high school) and the way I behave and speak is very male.
I hope this has helped. I cant really give any amazing suggestions because I do tend to struggle with passing at times as well.
I noticed you mentioned surgery but many times surgery isn't necessary because the face become incredibly more masculine once testosterone. In some cases that doesn't happen but (maybe I'm wrong?) those cases are rare. Sorry, so many guys it's hard to keep track but are you planning on going on T?
When you start taking T ... your face will change shape...it has on my son...it will redistribute the fat and your face will get sharper. Plus your hairline will go back a bit to look more square like a man.
Quote from: Michael Alexander on November 29, 2010, 01:12:11 PM
I noticed you mentioned surgery but many times surgery isn't necessary because the face become incredibly more masculine once testosterone. In some cases that doesn't happen but (maybe I'm wrong?) those cases are rare. Sorry, so many guys it's hard to keep track but are you planning on going on T?
Eventually I guess I will go on T. But I don't plan to really start transitioning until I'm 24/25. I want to live some more of my life as a girl first. I'm also trying to find a therapist in the mean time.
I have trouble for similar reasons.
I pass best when I dress like a gay guy.
Maybe you should try that too?
Seriously, Josh, your sister?
Relax man. Sisters don't count. Though hopefully, you'll be in a position to tell her soon.
Yeah, spacial's right. Family and friends don't count at all, because not only are they biased, but if you haven't told them they think they're insulting you if they say the "wrong" gender. I asked my mom before she knew, and she said I looked nothing like a boy. Meanwhile I was passing most of the time when I tried, and that was when I had a feminine haircut. Seriously, don't worry about it too much, and wait to see what T does to you before jumping into any surgeries you might regret.
I spent 6 years trying to change myself in ways so others read me as being male. I tried haircuts, talking certain ways, walking certain ways, binding, packing, wearing different clothing, etc until I was no longer myself. At some point I realized that no matter what I do I cannot change how other people see me. When I "gave up" I started feeling better, and all the times I put little to no effort in how I looked I would end up being read as male. Now I have a slight fear that after months and months of T I'll still be read as female. Heck, my friend has been on T for a year and just recently started being read as male on a regular basis.
Testosterone will change your body fat distribution, including the fat on your face. Your jaw line will look more male on T.
Ah, sisters, can't live with them can't live without em'. My sister told me my face fails miserably as a male. *facepalm*. I feel your pain.
Quote from: xander on January 16, 2011, 10:10:25 AM
I have trouble for similar reasons.
I pass best when I dress like a gay guy.
Maybe you should try that too?
haha, I love dressing like a gay guy.
I think that, if you're not out to your family, they're going to default to "yes, you're a very pretty girl."
Quote from: Alex201 on January 16, 2011, 01:56:24 PM
haha, I love dressing like a gay guy.
Dressing like a gay guy?
You mean wearing a t-shirt that says, "I f*** men"??? ::)
There is no one way that gay guys dress, and there are other ways to express what you mean without resorting to homophobic stereotypes.
Quote from: Sean on January 16, 2011, 02:13:13 PM
Dressing like a gay guy?
You mean wearing a t-shirt that says, "I f*** men"??? ::)
There is no one way that gay guys dress, and there are other ways to express what you mean without resorting to homophobic stereotypes.
homophobic stereotypes? What about my post had homophobic stereotypes? I didn't say anything bad about gay guys. I consider myself gay.
Xander said he passes best when he dresses "as a gay guy" and suggested you do that too.
Then you said, "I love dressing as a gay guy."
How exactly does "a gay guy dress?" Wearing muscle shirts? Dressing in a more effeminate way? Wearing skinny jeans? Dressed like the Village People? :police:
There is no such thing as 'dressing like a gay guy' - the phrase itself is trying to call upon stereotypical idea of how gay men dress. You may be gay, but it is insulting to everyone else to presume that there is a specific way that gay men dress.
...would it be better if they had added 'stereotypically' before 'gay guy'? I mean really.
I don't pass very well at all yet, I'm still trying to get my chest flatter. Found out it works better when I DON'T suck in my gut (I do it unconsciously now), just makes me look like a chubby guy.
Quote from: Kitian on January 16, 2011, 08:05:35 PM
...would it be better if they had added 'stereotypically' before 'gay guy'? I mean really.
No, it would be better if they didn't resort to stereotypes and instead described the clothing/style they are talking about.
Wow...well I apologise if anyone took offense at my simple statement. It seems we are getting hung up on wording here. Not what I intended. No need to be getting all defensive over something where no offense was intended.