Hi everyone! I am a psychology major with a minor (thinking of double majoring.. not sure though) in gender studies. I have always been aware of the LGBT community, but had never learned much about it. I go to a liberal arts school, and I took a class called masterpieces of sexuality. It opened my eyes to so many things and I am fascinated! I decided that I would like to be a counselor for the LGBT community, but ultimately I would like to be a counselor for those seeking sex change operations. I support you! So, this is me, trying to make connections so that I can try to make a difference. But, I have a few questions and I appreciate ANY feedback. I do not wish to offend or intrude, but I would love to hear from anyone who feels they have something to say.
First of all, I am attempting to study abroad in Denmark to gather some data for my Bachelor's Thesis in psychology. I would like my topic to be on the transgender community. I guess my first question is if there are any subjects people might want to know more about? Or any subjects that seem unhelpful? I really just want to be an advocate, but I need to know how I can help. I am thankful for any and all answers or posts I get in return! Thank you!
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Hi Mallorie, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 4400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Hugs and Love,
Janet
Welcome. I would like make one comment, if I may. Don't always automatically assume its the mothers fault. I've dealt with many theropists in may days in trying to come to terms with my crossdressing and other disasters in my life, and they alway blamed mom first. Anyways, I wish you luck on your research.
Welcome to the site Mallorie :icon_wave:
Good luck and have fun while studying abroad
Mallorie:
We are THRILLED to have you here at Susan's Place. People like you are the catalysts our community so sorely needs in order to bridge the knowledge and acceptance gap between the general society and us. Thank you so much for coming here!
Your goals are very admirable. What you are doing by coming here makes perfect sense. Want to know about transpeople? Ask THEM about themselves and forget going to any intermediaries or "professionals" who study them. People like you who genuinely respect us as human beings deserving of kindness and compassion are our most worthy advocates.
Most of us here will readily agree that you can ask us anything at all, and as long as it's done with dignity, compassion and respect, we will give you an honest answer. We can already see that you are sincere and will do this.
Feel free to either ask us questions or express your views. You can do this in open forum like this or private-message any of us. As far as we're concerned, you are part of the family now.
Welcome home, hon. Get comfortable and getting posting. Glad you're here! :D Lacey
howdy mallorie
feel free to use the refs i gathered in https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender_mental_health_issues (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender_mental_health_issues) as well as ask whatever questions you may have.
Hi Mallory
welcome to the forum.
It's so nice to have someone from the other side of the psychological spectrum.
I think you've a lot of questions for your thesis, so, start fireing and you will get all the answers you need.
I'll be glad to help you
hug annette
Thanks so much for welcoming me! I really do just want to help others understand that people are just people, and everyone deserves respect. I guess my biggest question at this point is what do you feel is the most important step in getting people to understand who you are? Do you feel that raising tolerance is the most important, or do you feel that making people aware that transgenders are real is the first step? Of course, we are all aware that transgenders are real, but I know people who have never been exposed to gender issues of any kind... So what would you consider the first step to equality? Legislation? Teaching respect? Exposure? Let me know! I am so full of questions, I apologize lol. I appreciate any and all replies!
Quote from: JoanneTV on December 06, 2010, 05:43:38 PM
Welcome. I would like make one comment, if I may. Don't always automatically assume its the mothers fault. I've dealt with many theropists in may days in trying to come to terms with my crossdressing and other disasters in my life, and they alway blamed mom first. Anyways, I wish you luck on your research.
That would be thanks to Mr. Freud. I had one therapist who decided I wasn't really transgendered, I was just really immature and didn't know how else to express being attracted to girls other then decide I "want to be one" (this would have been about 14 - 19ish). Another therapist who, when my parents reported their suspicions about my crossdressing (age 13) told me "if that's true, we need to stop that". And last but not least, the therapist who cared more about my checks clearing then anything else.
I did have one good therapist who told my mom that he couldn't fix me being gay (yes she actually asked him to "fix" me). Be that therapist, not the other ones.
Teaching respect compassion and tolerance? To me respect is always earned, and damn few earn it.
Quote from: mallorie08 on December 07, 2010, 12:50:31 PM
Thanks so much for welcoming me! I really do just want to help others understand that people are just people, and everyone deserves respect. I guess my biggest question at this point is what do you feel is the most important step in getting people to understand who you are? Do you feel that raising tolerance is the most important, or do you feel that making people aware that transgenders are real is the first step? Of course, we are all aware that transgenders are real, but I know people who have never been exposed to gender issues of any kind... So what would you consider the first step to equality? Legislation? Teaching respect? Exposure? Let me know! I am so full of questions, I apologize lol. I appreciate any and all replies!
Don't undertake the impossible. There will never be such a thing as 100% acceptance. Just ask any other minority. Just like the people who need parenting classes aren't the ones who end up taking them. People aren't going to be any more or less convinced to accept someone they're not prepared to accept.
Maybe stress for the well meaning (read accepting) people in our lives:
Not to ask some of the deeply personal questions they ask us sometimes about being transgendered, or how do we know for sure (I mean do non transgendered people obsess about their gender? Isn't that proof enough), can't we just be gay (or if you're just going to be gay (after transition), do you really need to transition?), or talk about how handsome or pretty we used to be (as if ugly was a pre-requesit to transitioning).
That we're in the bathroom for the same reason they are, to take care of a biological function and nothing else, though if it is something else, it has nothing to do with being trans. don't call us "the best of both worlds". Decide you're being helpful by pointing out how we won't pass (at the same time, don't tell us you don't know wty we don't pass if you do know).
For your transgendered clients:
Remind us that people do have a hard time learning new names and pronouns and will under stress "forget", but that if they still make excuses and it's been long enough to know better, they're not just "forgetting"
Don't be afraid to disagree with us when we just don't know why we don't pass and/or no one will accept us as our target gender when we don't dress or act our age or worse yet talk and act like a linebacker (thought I guess that last part only applies to MtFs).
That when we complain that people don't accept us for who we are, remind us that as long as it took for us to come to terms with it, many people in our lives (especially the closest ones) are going to need that same amount of time
Tell us not to get angry when our parents work thorough the grieving process for the son or daughter they're losing. Yes they want us to be happy, but we forget they planned on a marriage and grandchildren in their future and they have to grieve that loss too and that we will always be their "baby" and they still think they have the power to "save" us.
That our roommates will feel like their personal security is threatened when we insist on taking in every stray pet looking MtF and not to get bitchy when they complain the neighbors are starting to notice. (this actually happened to me – as "the roommate")
Quote from: tekla on December 07, 2010, 12:58:35 PM
Teaching respect compassion and tolerance? To me respect is always earned, and damn few earn it.
Trying to pass and not passing is one thing. Refusing to shave, dressing like a hooker and insisting you know the pain of being a woman is just disrespectful. Agreed, respect is earned.
Hi Mallory
You had questions, I've got answers.
What bothering me is that people born in the right gender think they are understanding the issue but they don't understand it.
You've always to prove yourselve as a transgender, are you feminine (or man ) enough ?
Did you like it more to live as a woman ? Pretending that there was a choice or something.
When somebody is born with one leg, society feels sympathy for you, born in the wrong gender, you're a freak, how good you'll ever pass, you're a freak.
When a man does something it's good, a woman has to do it twice as good before she will hear it's good, a transgender has to do it 5 times better and most of the time it isn't good.
When people find out your story they say, so actually your a man ? They don't understand that we where women all our lifes but nature makes mistakes. We do need medical attention to fix the problem just like the one with one leg.
Acceptation is the key for us, we need it to be seen as a member of society like everybody else, as a human person with hope's ideal's expectations of life and with griefs like other people.
Education is the key for the other people, they need to know that transgenders are normal people with normal feelings such as love, fear etc.
But how can we reach that? There are tg's who where/are very succesfull in their profession till co workers find out what the story was, by than it's done with most careers.
The world is changing very slowly about this issue, I started transition 30 years ago, with a lot of struggles but when I read the stories on the forum, the same struggles for newbies still plays their role.
I'm wondering, how can we change that?
anyway, that where my musings.
A good thing is that there are people like you who are interested in other people, so it's a good thing that you've joint us.
I'll hope you won't get depressed because of my toughts about it.( just joking )
Thanks for being interested.
a big hug
annette
Welcome Mallorie;
Thank you for wanting to be an advocate for us. we so sorely need more like you. Ask as many questions as you like and offer help wherever you can. Just remember to be respectful like you are in your intro and we'll support you 100%.
Hugs
Beth
Quote from: mallorie08 on December 07, 2010, 12:50:31 PM
Thanks so much for welcoming me! I really do just want to help others understand that people are just people, and everyone deserves respect. I guess my biggest question at this point is what do you feel is the most important step in getting people to understand who you are? Do you feel that raising tolerance is the most important, or do you feel that making people aware that transgenders are real is the first step? Of course, we are all aware that transgenders are real, but I know people who have never been exposed to gender issues of any kind... So what would you consider the first step to equality? Legislation? Teaching respect? Exposure? Let me know! I am so full of questions, I apologize lol. I appreciate any and all replies!
Hi, yes a lot of questions, that's good though, we do actually need more people to understand what it's like for each individual. Maybe you will get more answers and more depth and a better idea of the variety of answers by asking one question at a time.
First step to better acceptance / equality.....for me, for it to be recognised that being transgender isn't abnormal development, anyone's fault or a mental disorder or a threat to order or to others.
Good luck in your studies and career.
Theo