Arrggg..........................parents =_=
This is exactly what I'm dreading...
In other words, "you have a false consciousness." (http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#false)
Classic. ::)
People do not understand what the hell we're talking about when we come out to them. Once our transitions get rolling and they experience us start looking the part and being more comfortable with ourselves, it'll start to make sense. Until then, it's a pretty tall order to expect most people to truly 'get it.'
isn't it great when parents act like they know your life better than you... the one who is living it.
You might want to avoid talking to the parental units about it right now until you can get out on your own. Are you in school? If you are, can you talk to a guidance counselor? Sounds like your parents are doing their best to convince you you're not trans. Might be best just to fly under the radar till you can get out.
Said to me over and over.
Conveniently forgot all of the boyish things I did and focused on those times when I tried so hard to fit in as F.
Jay
I was making so much effort to be girly/manly because I was scared to face up to the reality.
Now I need you to help me face my reality.
I've gotten this too. "But you didn't used to mind wearing dresses... the dresses that I picked out for you and put on you, when you were too young to pick your own clothes."
hmmm maybe you were so girly cause you were over compensating? They probably wouldn't think of that would they?
So maddening you have to listen to crap like that.
I'm glad my parents have never hit me with that one, but I was girly as a kid because I forced myself to act girly because I thought I had to be a girl.
It is such a binary world ... so what if you played with dolls & wore dresses ... there are guys who played with dolls and wore dresses as kids ---and they aren't all trans. We gave my nephew a doll to rock himself when his mother was pregnant .. it worked like a charm..when she had to breast feed she would tell him to feed his baby -- sometimes he breast feed his baby and sometimes he gave it a bottle.
What we wear, how we act & what we play with does not make us the gender we are....I know plenty of girls who were ruff and tumble girls and grew up into beautiful women with no gender confusion.
Arrrggg ... sorry dude...remember it's only the first steps...they are trying to process things. I suggest getting them the book the transgender child .. it could be so helpful to them
I got this at first, I think mostly because my mum remembered what she wanted to. About a year later we discussed my childhood and she said that I did boy stuff all the time.
my parents were like.. you weren't a feminine kid.. but that doesn't make you a man! You can never be a man.. muhahahaha.
well not quite so evil voice.. more douchebaggy.. cuz my dad is one giant doucehabg.. but I prefer evil maniac voice.
Tad, I now imagine your dad kinda like this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbitesizebio.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F11%2Fdr_evil.jpg&hash=4bdf2af124b88be1d4c12318a26dc47618414b21)
I was never even girly as a kid. As far back as I remember, I was 3 and i threw a temper tantrum because my grandfather and his gf bought me a girl outfit and they tried making me wear it. I remember my parents begging me to wear girly stuff, and I just absolutely refused. I wouldnt want anything to do with girl toys, or even other girls when i was young. I think i just thought I was a boy, and was confused why i didnt have boys parts. I wish my parents took me to therapy back when I was six begging my mom for a penis so I wouldnt have to deal with all this now. They just denied the fact that i didnt want to be a girl. Anyway, cant change the past, but I know they cant pull the "too girly as a child" thing cuz anyone whos known me all my life, knows that was never true!
I think that people who don't want to understand won't, no matter how much sense they are making.
Two very popular things I've heard from parents of trans people are:
"But you were so girly [or boyish] when you were little, it's impossible for you to be trans!"
and
"You're so young, there's no way you can make such a big life decision when you are only [enter teenage to young adult age here]!"
Sometimes the same person will say both of those things! Inconsistent much?