I have twin sisters that are only 10 years old. I'm not even out to them yet but they are already Unaccepting. Just because I wear guys clothes. They say things like "you wish you were a guy". " you're not a boy you're a GIRL!" "you are a lesbian you ->-bleeped-<-got" and worse things. What should I do about them? I can't just ignore them and I don't know what to do about them.
Ten is pretty young. Heck, at that age they hardly even have minds of their own. As hurtful as the things they say are, I don't think it is that they are unaccepting, they just don't understand.
Are you out to your parents? If so, see if they will intervene and talk to your sisters for (or with) you. If you're not out to your parents then it's a different ballgame completely.
They definitely need a lecture on the use of anti-gay slurs and how it's unbecoming for 10 year olds. Try explaining to them that it's rude and hurtful and that you're allowed to wear whatever clothing that you want - just like they are. And that you find men's clothes more comfortable than girl's. Chances are it's not them intentionally being unaccepting - they just don't understand. They've probably witnessed their peers teasing children their age over their clothing which is where they learned the behavior. Just do your best to tell them that behaving like that is unacceptable and that the way you dress is normal.
Buy them some Lawn Darts for Xmas.
Yes I am out to my parents but my dad is not ok with it and he thinks I'm messed up. And my parents are divorced so ya. My mom will talk to them about it but my dad definitely won't. They are evil children lol.
I cant really give any good advice because I hate kids, and I would probably lash out verbally in anger at them and tell them to shut their bratty mouths. or figure out ways to torture them, lol they are only 10
They are 10, they are immature not unaccepting. Just sit them down and explain it to them.
Haha Elijah I feel the same way
And Carson i know they are only ten but they sure they know a lot. My mom is gonna talk to them tomorrow :)
Let us know how it turns out. I'm not out to any of my three siblings, and I'm not really sure how to do it. My brother, older sister and I were watching Degrassi, and my brother said Adam was a he-she, girl pretending to be a boy, creep. My sister just said he's a girl who wants to be a boy, so while she doesn't really get the terminology, at least she gets the concept. Maybe I should have my mom talk to them for/with me.
Good luck with your sisters, though. Like others said, it sounds like they just don't understand. As far as men's clothing goes, before coming out, I always said that men's clothes are simply more comfortable.
My little sister just thinks im a lesbian unfortunately. My best friend and i were driving her somewhere and somehow we got on the topic of sex changes and my best friend was like say something its the perfect time. My sister had so many questions so I was feeling optomistic like maybe it was a perfect time. All of a sudden she was like can they get a dick? ewww thats gross. That crushed my optomism :-\ But shes 16 and I dont know how shed take it if i told. She knows Ive never been the least bit girly, but im still her big "sister" to her. Anyway, good luck with your mom talking to them. Let us know how it goes.
I don't like kids but I usually explain it like this 'my brain who defines who and what I am is male, my body is however, female.' this usually works >_>
Quote from: michaeljay on December 11, 2010, 02:44:53 AM
All of a sudden she was like can they get a dick? ewww thats gross.
cisgirls think of themselves when we talk about transition. Whenever I mention I'd like to have the babyfactory removed you should see them cringe XD. Don't take it too personal, people who have little idea whats the difference in how each sex looks will think of genitalia first instead of the overall picture.
Well at least thats my experience :/
punch them in the face.
or at least tackle them in some loving sibling manner.
Some of you people are truly saints. If I had siblings sassing me this way I'd slap their mouths for that kind of attitude and language.
At the risk of losing even more reputation point on this thread (and here I was saving them up for a valuable prize) I'd suggest that the quickest, easiest and most effective way to deal with this is to grow up, a mature adult would not give a rat's ass what any 10 year old thinks.
I'm trying tekla but I'm only a few years older than they are haha. But some good news, today one of my sisters and I went outside to play and we met two new kids and my sister introduced me as her brother Alex! It was awesome
Id figure out how to torture them in some.. cruel and unusual sibling fashion. Yeah I know it'd only spark the debate more.. but meh.
My brother is homophobic (or should I say transphobic? but he doesn't know the diff) and I think he's ashamed of me and makes sure I hardly have any contact with his friends :-\ But he doesn't say anything about it.
My eldest cousin is a jerk and always calls me tomboy in front of my parents. And my parents don't accept me and so it pisses me off when he uses it especially in front of my parents despite me always telling him not to because I feel it's straining my already bad relationship with my parents. So one day, while we were alone and holding his neck in a almost death-like grip, I told him never to use the word in front of my parents or his mom or he'd wish he were dead. I think he got the point because he was sweating like mad and never did it again. I'm way shorter than him btw but he is scared of me when I get angry.
(I'm 21, my bro's 17, and the eldest of my cousins is 12 but he's already 5'7"(his dad's a giant). the rest are 10 below)
5 of my little cousins were questioning me about it. They all basically asked the same thing, "Achi Claire, are you a boy or a girl?"
And I'd ask, "What do you think?"
Then they'd say, "A boy! A girl! I mean boy boy! Girl!" And then they'd shake their heads in confusion.
To one of the older ones I said, "I'm a boy here" *pointing to my head*
She said, "Oh" and never brought it up again.
Man, sorry to hear about your sisters.
However, my view is that when you begin T, your body will naturally change, your voice will drop and I think it will be easier for your sisters to begin to accept that you are male.
The problem they have now is that they can't see why you think of yourself as a boy, I guess they are still at that kind of age when appearance is pretty much everything. But as they begin to see that you look and behave like other boys around them, they will treat you differently.
So stay confident about yourself, you're just a regular boy and you know it.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2010, 01:21:05 PM
At the risk of losing even more reputation point on this thread (and here I was saving them up for a valuable prize) I'd suggest that the quickest, easiest and most effective way to deal with this is to grow up, a mature adult would not give a rat's ass what any 10 year old thinks.
Agreed. Most kids at that age are motivated by the reaction their behavior gets them. Quit reacting to their comments and they'll quickly lose interest in trying to get a reaction out of you.
Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2010, 01:21:05 PM
At the risk of losing even more reputation point on this thread (and here I was saving them up for a valuable prize) I'd suggest that the quickest, easiest and most effective way to deal with this is to grow up, a mature adult would not give a rat's ass what any 10 year old thinks.
Two more points and you can have your choice of a Salad Spinner, a cheesy Parker fountain pen, or a Chia Bruce Willis!
All kidding aside, I would say that this is excellent advice for someone who is dealing with a random ten-year-old. But for most people, family is a whole different story.
Chia Bruce Willis - oh gotta have one, it could sit next to my Chia Jerry Garcia (yes I have one, still in the box, but the box is on display) - as a bonus your Chia Bruce Willis has all the emotional and multi-dimensional acting skills of the real Bruce Willis
i kinda need help too. not to hijack this thread but i have a 16 year old brother who is'nt really accepting. he says he will call me by the right name and use the right pronouns but i will always be a girl to him and i quote "You will always be (my birth name) my little sister". my parents think hes just going thru a phase but idk. any help?
Quote from: alex96 on December 10, 2010, 06:59:00 PM
"you are a lesbian you ->-bleeped-<-got"
lol.. "you are a girl who likes girls, who is a boy who likes boys" tell them to use their brains before they speak
With the twin sisters...I would say that it's a lack of understanding on their part and I wish you the best with your mother talking to them. Honestly, it could be that they've overheard your father saying nasty things behind your back and are just parroting them, as kids are prone to doing.
Personally, I don't know if I'll ever come out to my family and at least part of that is because of my brother, who used to go 'gay bashing' as a hobby when I was a kid. I can only imagine what he'd do to his 'little sister' if I finally told him that I'm his 'little brother' instead.
It was nice your sister introduced you as her brother - I think with time and explaining they'll come round. Heck, I remember when I was ten I found out Ian McKellen was gay, and laughed about how gross gay old men were. Of course now I'm older that's not the case, I was just being a stupid brat. Give them time and be patient.
Quote from: ty.to.the.man on June 29, 2011, 07:28:19 PM
i kinda need help too. not to hijack this thread but i have a 16 year old brother who is'nt really accepting. he says he will call me by the right name and use the right pronouns but i will always be a girl to him and i quote "You will always be (my birth name) my little sister". my parents think hes just going thru a phase but idk. any help?
use it against him. make him do all kinds of annoying things for you because you're "too little and cute to do it". in the end he'll probably be so annoyed he tells you to act like the man you are. just remember to be a guy at all times except when you demand the special treatment. he'll get who you are one day, don't let it bother you too much. your own confidence will convince the people around you