Today was interesting--
In the morning, Juan came into my room carrying a DD50 computer cable in his hands, and wearing a barely suppressed grin on his face. "I'm looking for a gender changer!" he says to me. "You've been saving that one up for a while, haven't you?" I said back, and we both start busting up. (He really was looking for an F-to-F gender changer, and I had one for him.)
Later, I had a family in for passport and visa photos. The father was the base Transition Assistance director (No, not our kind of transition...), and also taught the Seven Habits class I had attended two months ago.
I photographed mom, then older daughter (with younger daughter standing behind the camera trying to crack her up), then younger daughter (and I photoshopped her face to remove a few blemishes and give her picture a flawless complexion.) Finally I photographed dad, and he hung around and bagged the photos as I cut them out of the print paper.
He asked me how my job was going since taking the class, and I said that at its core I still very much liked my job.
"And how's your transition going?" he asked.
To tell the truth, I wasn't prepared for the question -- it just ran up in my blind spot and whacked me upside the head. Although I'm out at work, a lot of people are still unaware (or are pretending to be unaware,) and very few people ask me such a question directly.
"Uh, it's going fine -- much better than I had feared. Most people have no problem with it, but some very few do..." And I babbled a few more such lines.
Sometimes it's the unexpected, unlooked-for acceptance that affects you...
Karen
Acceptance is nice; that's for sure. And in front of his kids, too. Great!
Robyn
The second incident I mentioned, I sent the person this letter (edited):
QuoteGreetings;
Your question about how my transition is going caught me unawares -- not that I don't mind your asking or mind talking about it. It's just that, although I'm 'out' to my flight and to management and to selected people at civilian personnel who are working issues pertaining to my transitioning on the job (is there ANY other way?), I've not made any sort of general announcement. And many base employees are not aware, or are pretending not to be.
Yes, I was a bit flustered, but given a little more time I would've relaxed. And I welcome questions on that topic from those who accept what I am and what I'm doing. If you or your family have any questions you'd like answered, I'd be happy to answer them or direct you to further sources of information. It can only help.
I was amused when I saw your job title. Although you taught part of the Covey class I attended, I didn't realise you worked for 'Transition Assistance' ;-)
I'll answer one more (yet unasked) question. I'm waiting to find out from civilian personnel if changing my name/ID will affect my holding a clearance -- sometimes they deem a background reinvestigation necessary, and sometimes changing gender in federal records doesn't happen without a surgeon's letter stating that SRS was performed, which precipitates ANOTHER reinvestigation. But when all the above issues are satisfactorily resolved, I will be;
Karen Jean Savage
NOTE: "Transition Assistance" in the military means getting out and becoming a civilian once again..
And his response (edited):
QuoteKaren,
Congrats; we truly admire your courage! We have spent over 20 years in Europe and for me and my family the most important this is the character of the person, NOT race, religion, gender, etc.
Being former military and working with all the military transition out, I (and you) have learned how the transition impacts your identity.
For you, you have faced quite the challenge on two fronts.
Continued success in your transition!
That was sweet Karen!
Ricki
Karen. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You get the story of the day award (and likely for the week). I truly enjoyed reading about your experiences. Upbeat and happy. What a way to start the new year coming up in a few hours here...
Cindi