We all know that the Holidays are the toughest time for EVERYONE. I have noticed a suprising trend this week. Some of people's responses to posts have been sharper, more argumentive, and there is a turn toward negativism.
I heard news today from a positive smiling face on Susan's. They thanked me for my positive input but because of the negativity they recieved from other's responses they were not going to be here anymore. They had other struggles bringing them down and they did not want some at Susan's to add to it.
This made me sooo sad. I always know most everyone tries so hard to be uplifting and everything encouraging. Some of you are constant, amazing, PRO's at positive.
So my plea is remember the good things you have. Remember to love yourself no matter how hard it is. Give yourself encouragement and positive thoughts. Then you in turn can be there for someone who's down. Think consideration when posting. A simple negative comment can be taken badly. Full blown opposition can be taken very badly. It can have a significance that is unknown to us. I know you all know this. I guess I am just sad and concerned about a family friend here on Susan's. That is why I am posting this. Just Concerned.
Only wishing the best for everyone on Susan's. Everyone has been the best to me.
Hugs.
Patty
thank you
I know I turn into a bit of an ass durring the holidays.
Thanks for posting this,
I know I've been a jerk lately due to the holidays and impatience. It was a good reminder
Not having family, the holidays just become just another day. But I can get a little short with all the holiday cheer.
O.k. now I feel like a heel. All the nice people, who never say anything negative line up for an apology...........Maybe I am wrong to have posted this??
No you have actually been uplifting with all your posts, including this one. We all have our days that seem to be down. Many people just can make it through the holidays.
:laugh: Thanks for mentioning it. Between the holidays, weather changes, school stress, and everything else that goes on this time of year, I think that the majority of us are in a bad mood.
I wasn't thinking anyone should apoligize. If anyone feels negative don't sweat it the holidays seem to do that to us. I think I mishandled my concerns. Sorry to all of you.
Mrs. Erocse, maybe it wasn't your intent but it did give everyone a chance to think back and have a chance to apologize if they felt like they have been grouchy lately. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think you were right to post it.
OK the title "holiday Alert" got my attention. A bit dramatic but none the less , attention getting.
It takes all kinds of people to make Susan's a interesting place to frequent. Smart, funny, leaders and followers. I know as for me, I like to joke around a little. Sometimes the jokes get a little too close to being sarcastic. Not intentional mind you, it just happens sometimes. Likewise I think some posts and comments get a little too critical ,inconsiderate and sometimes down right rude. But Most of the time I think it is unintentional.
For the general population there are lots of reasons to get stressed during the holidays. Spending too much money, trying to get all the shopping done, traveling to see relatives. Then for the trans community you have to add a bunch more reasons. Loneliness, Feeling of isolation. Not being accepted by family, etc. There is nothing that can drive home the fact that we are not accepted into society then to be sitting at home alone, knowing that most everyone else is gathered together to celibate.
These things bounce around in our heads all day long. They cause us to feel bad or irritated. And then some poor unsuspecting soul crosses our path and we let'm have it. We let all our frustration out on them. Or maybe it's just a simple post that doesn't set right in your mind.
I love all the different people here at Susan's. I do think sometimes the post get a little harsh, but hey, Life is harsh. I think we have to remember to be considerate especially during the holiday season, but I also think we can't wear our feeling on our sleeve .
Lots of love and hugs (especially to you Mrs Erocse :-*)
Erocse
The holiday seasons are always the worst for the lonely and the different. I think that it is one of the strengths we have as a family is that we can post when in distress, a brother or sister will be there. I'm working (PT nights) for a counselling service over Christmas, I expect many calls will be self harm alerts. I'll also be here for the fun, the fury and my friends who have helped me, and new ones who will.
Cindy
We all know that the Holidays are the toughest time for EVERYONE
Not to prove your point about being augmentative (which I assure you in my life know no season) but suicides peek in spring. "April is the cruelest month" as the poet would have it.
I think the deal is that just about EVERYONE really hates the whole Xmas shebang and won't admit it, so we all wallow though it together. By spring people get out, they are having fun, you're not, eat the gun.
Don't know if this sounds your theory Kat,
Christmas is in the beginning of summer here.
The weather is not an effect. It's very, very pleasant at this time of year.
Loneliness is.
All those great commercials and crap TV shows showing Happy people are really good for people who have nothing.
The built up expectation, the commercialized award for being a nice person.
No.
Don't agree.
Cindy
Post the suicide charts for Australia and NZ, I wonder if its seasonal, like I said, the peek in the spring, April in particular in the states.
Quote from: CindyJames on December 12, 2010, 01:58:40 AM
Christmas is in the beginning of summer here.
The weather is not an effect. It's very, very pleasant at this time of year.
Loneliness is.
Okay, it's decided; we need a group trip to Australia. Cindy, I hope you have a lot of spare bedrooms! :laugh:
Kat,
http://www.criminologyresearchcouncil.gov.au/reports/23-86.pdf (http://www.criminologyresearchcouncil.gov.au/reports/23-86.pdf)
I know Riaz.
My personal experience in SC is to find peaks in holiday seasons. The weather may be an enormous influence where the weather changes, it doesn't change that much here. Yes, I get peaks on full moons and hot humid days, but the biggest changes we see are holidays. But I totally accept it may be different in different areas, I do know that the suicide rate changes heaps in the Arctic countries in the dark and light times. It is a complex problem.
BTW I love Riaz's first sentence in his introduction.
Don't dwell on it.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: Erocse on December 11, 2010, 11:32:11 PM
I love all the different people here at Susan's. I do think sometimes the post get a little harsh, but hey, Life is harsh. I think we have to remember to be considerate especially during the holiday season, but I also think we can't wear our feeling on our sleeve .
Lots of love and hugs (especially to you Mrs Erocse :-*)
Erocse
Absolutely, positively agree, Erocse!
For what it's worth, which may not be much in the final analysis, yours truly over the past 5 weeks or so has gone through 2 job changes. Anybody want to know why, PM me. Don't want to bore everybody with the details.
My for-now wife, stepdaughter (age 27), 3 doggies and 4 kitties and I face possible homelessness if we cannot meet the January rent payment which is a distinct possibility at this point. We had to go to the Oregon Food Bank recently to get groceries upon which to survive. We've never, ever been in this situation before, and the for-now wife and I are getting too old to put with this kind of hallaballoo.
There is more: You ain't heard the half of it. We will have no Christmas whatsoever. We will have no Christmas meal whatsoever. Wanna talk hard times? Okay, let's talk. My point is:
Erocse & Patty as well as the others here are petitioning for peace, civility and decency. With the utmost hearty praise and lavish approbation that I can possibly muster under the circumstances, I whole-heartedly agree with them and salute their petitioning for peace, civility and decency on here.
Now, don't necessarily feel put upon. We're NOT lecturing you or attacking you. In fact, let there be empathy. We KNOW many of you face tough times in one way or another. Some of it is your own fault. Most of it is not, I dare say. How so?
The corporate-financial-miltary culture which is enshrouding the world at an ever-increasing rate manufactures these stresses, wants us put upon and thrives on our very tension. Fine, many of you will think I'm a complete lunatic for saying any such thing. Loopey Lacey obtuses off into orbit yet again ... !
I beg to differ. Financial stress? Unnecessary and manufacturered. Survival stress? Unnecessary and manufactured. Adjustment stress? Unnecessary and manufactured. A group of very clever yet very bad people are engineering the financial conquest of the planet and are establishing their corporate-financial-police state ... worldwide. I'll say no more. PM me if you want to either trash and/or debate. I'll take on any and all comers (Wahoo!) the world over.
How can we beat this alleged evil? Simply, but not easily. Here's a start:
Be kind. Be civil. Be polite. Be satisfied with the things that really matter in life and not about power, status, control. Cherish your friends (many of whom are apt to be upon this very website). Even be of good manners with people who are ill-mannered with you. Be the change you want to see.
Think I'm a fool for saying this? Fine; I'm a fool. Think I'm in La La Land for thinking this? Fine; I'm in La La Land. Think I'm a dithering ditz for believing this? Fine; I'm a dithering ditz.
When I pass away, let my epitaph read:
"She was kind."
:) Loopey Lacey
Be the change you want to see. Don't have religion; live it. Do unto others ... . You all know this. We've always known it. Much of the lunacy in the world is contrived, and it need not be. Peace and Harmony can set us free.
I am sorry for you in oregon. Maybe you can help some elderly people who have a fixed income and seek help. I do that and it helps me, as i help the elderly. I am new but not new here. I came here firstly over a dozen yrs ago. I have grown much and try to only offer positive input these days. I no longer am transitioning so that stress is long gone. I hope though when i do share its not taken wrong. I remember the yrs of pain i went through but i also still go through new pain. I am slightly bipolar which makes me feel unloved or not able to understand simple jokes which can make me feel dumb. I am glad to see this thread and the love that is shared here. May we all know that no matter what we are all friends and care and love one another here and only want the best for all here. I know its hard for all to fully understand others but if we try here we can know deep in our hearts that all who share here do so because they have love and want love. I know i do. :)
((((((My friends at Susan's))))))) Don't know what I'd do without y'all.
Hi Patty
you're right,we have to stay friendly and supporting to eachother.
For some people times are really bad enough and they don't need our help to make it worse.
but like Roxy allready said, sometimes we have to make jokes, we also need to laugh once in a while.
It's all about what you mean with it, Let us assume that everyone has good intentions.
That does not relieve us of our duty to pay attention to our language.
We sure need to take care of eachother.
So, to end positive, whatever I wrote, I had good intentions and I hope that all your dreams come true in the newyear
hugs and love
annette
The fact is - you do not know the state of the person that you are replying to, or what is going on with their lives.
I've been barked at before on this board, and i didn't necessarily like it, but i was in a mental state at the time to be able to deal with it.
On another board, an individual recently posted a thoughtless response to something that i had posted that put me into a death spiral for weeks, because i was in a horribly fragile state at the time.
OTOH, i've been guilty of posting thoughtless things also. And for those posts, i humbly apologize.
Words have power - use them wisely.
I'm guilty of posting very blunt and not so pleasant things, and I will keep aware of what I post.
Happy holidays!
Thank you Erocse and Patty for those encouraging words.
Gennee
:)