Hey guys,
I recently started T but am yet to come out in college. One of my biggest worries is team sports and changing rooms. Every time when I think about how my team mates and coach would react I just want to block that thought from my mind...
Now that I have started T, I really can't run away forever. I have at most 3 months before all the changes become obvious. I seriously have no idea how to tell them. Should I just quit forever? (although I really don't want to!)
How do you guys cope with these issues? ???
Where do you live at? In the United States you could be disqualified from your team for taking T.
My suggestion is you first talk with your coach ... and then work with him to have a plan.
What are we talking here? College intermurals, City Park and Rec Leagues, AAU, NCAA? It makes a huge difference.
Like Rob said, if you're talking about more then just rec or club level sports there could be serious legal implications for your team. That in turn could cause massive legal problems for you.
Even at club or rec level, your teammates don't need to know the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth but watching their season end with a disqualification is certainly going to cause bad feelings all the way around.
I would talk to your coach, or whoever fills that role, and see what they say.
You might want to read this too (NCAA official policy)
athleticbusiness.com/pdf/download.aspx?file=NCAA-2007-TSA-Issues-Resource.pdf (http://athleticbusiness.com/pdf/download.aspx?file=NCAA-2007-TSA-Issues-Resource.pdf)
but watching their season end with a disqualification is certainly going to cause bad feelings all the way around
Most likely they would never talk to you again.
What everyone else said: you may be jeopardizing every single game or match you participate in for your team. A doping violation (which is what a female-bodied athlete competing in women's sports taking T is) can disqualify your entire team, dude. Not cool. This is the reason that Kye Allums, the NCAA Div I basketball player, is NOT taking T until his season is over.
Seconding and Thirding the idea that you should please talk to your coach about your situation ASAP.
Quote from: Sean on December 13, 2010, 11:33:36 AM
What everyone else said: you may be jeopardizing every single game or match you participate in for your team. A doping violation (which is what a female-bodied athlete competing in women's sports taking T is) can disqualify your entire team, dude. Not cool. This is the reason that Kye Allums, the NCAA Div I basketball player, is NOT taking T until his season is over.
Seconding and Thirding the idea that you should please talk to your coach about your situation ASAP.
+1
sure it'll take about 3 months before its mad obvious, but that doesn't mean it'll take 3 months for it to be noticeable. Your voice could easily drop an octave in the next couple months. Thats something people will notice, and its irresponsible to your team.
I'm guessing you'll have to quit playing on a female team. Thats just the way it is if you don't want to be seen as female. I don't know what your sport is, but you'll need to join a men's team or a unisex league if you're going to want to continue it.
Thanks guys for all the replies.
I do martial arts, and I used to compete in individuals and team matches. I have stopped competing in the individuals, but for my sport, team matches are usually mixed (men and women in one team), so would it still be seen as doping if I'm on T?
My concern is mainly about how to tell my team mates (we've worked together for 2-3 years) and changing rooms issues. Has anyone got some experience with this kind of thing? I've been wondering if I should stop training for a while in order for my team to get over the issue. ???
Quote from: transquery on December 14, 2010, 09:17:36 AM
Thanks guys for all the replies.
I do martial arts, and I used to compete in individuals and team matches. I have stopped competing in the individuals, but for my sport, team matches are usually mixed (men and women in one team), so would it still be seen as doping if I'm on T?
My concern is mainly about how to tell my team mates (we've worked together for 2-3 years) and changing rooms issues. Has anyone got some experience with this kind of thing? I've been wondering if I should stop training for a while in order for my team to get over the issue. ???
I do karate, and oddly enough came out to my instructor just last week. It's not exactly the same situation-I'm not on T yet, and I'm not that good competition wise, although I have competed recently, and plan on continuing to do so. I ended up telling the only two other teenagers at the club (we're quite good friends in a we understand each others obsession with martial arts sense, and we chat on facebook) through facebook-I changed my name on there because I was sick of seeing my female name, and they asked why, so I just bit the bullet and messaged them. They both took it well, and they now understand my frustration at passing as a (admitedly about 14 year old tops) guy at competitions, and then having to tell the judges that, no, I'm 'female name' and I'm competing in womens fighting *facepalm* I told my instructor after he basically brought it up, and he was fine with it and supportive-I think he's a little worried about how much I use karate as a coping mechanism, eheh, and he's a sensible, intelligent person, which I think helped that reaction-but as I'm at an all girls school, and won't be on T until I leave at the earliest due to waiting lists, there's no chance of me officially transitioning at competition or anything like that.
Anyway, enough rant about me-in your group matches-are they paired up men vs men women vs women or mixed? If they're mixed, I can't see that there'll be any problem, especially if you change your gender on your licence/registration form thing. As far as changing rooms go-I can't really help-we don't have them where we train and we just use the loos one at a time. It depends on how many people you're training with/how well you know them, but if you're telling all of them, I'd say just ask if anyone would feel uncomfortable with you changing changing rooms, or sticking to your current one, whichever you're more comfortable with.
Taking time off training might give people a wrong sort of idea-like they need to take time to adjust or change their behaviour or something, when really you're just the same person. It's up to you though-if you'd be more comfortable giving them time to settle with the idea, or if you think they'd take it better, go for it. It might help things stick better though if you just turn up to the next session and train like normal, but answer any questions they have if you want to. I found it helped not telling anyone actually at the place where we train-it helped not having the association of training with the anxiety of coming out to a possibly hostile reaction (I can't for some reason get used to the idea that everyone who I want/need to tell is a genuinely awesome person, who might be ignorant but is always accepting. I'm so lucky on this front :/) even though everyone was fine. Perhaps you could tell your teamates after a session, or via facebook, text etc?
This probably isn't very helpful at all, and I don't know what level you compete at, but we've never had any drugs testing or anything, so my viewpoint is a bit skewed. If you're competing as a women in a womens event, I'd be worried about doping rules. As you're on a mixed team though, I don't think that'd come into play-and I'm pretty sure I know a guy who used to compete internationally who took T for low T levels-whether this was while he was competing, I don't know, but I don't think you'll have any problems. Your coach/instructor probably knows best, and good luck with whatever you decide to do :)