Hey,
The semester is just about over, and I'll be back with my parents for about a month. I'm not out to them, but I'm extremely uncomfortable without a binder/packer and would prefer to continue wearing them during this time. My mother will occasionally do my laundry or reorganize my room while I'm staying there, and I'm really not sure how I can get through the month without them finding out. Anyone have any ideas? I'm really concerned about this. :-\
well for the whole washing it part, maybe hand wash it in a sink before you take a shower, then let it dry while your in the shower. itll still be wet, but after just bring it to your room or w/e to dry, maybe hang it in front of a fan or a open window to make it quicker. depending on the material, it may not take too long to dry. or maybe if theres a time your parents are out or sleeping or something, throw it in the dryer so you can do it quick. not the best idea...since they still may see it, and then you got to go without wearing it until it drys, but i cant think of much else. well, besides the obvious 'just tell them about everything' thing =P
I agree with handwashing the binder if you can, I usually do mine in the bathtub. Good idea about letting it dry when you're in the shower - after shaking out the water and patting it down with a towel, it also helps to sandwich it between two towels for a bit. Try to go as long as you can without washing it to avoid the problem. Mine doesn't have an odor or sweat retention problem, so I don't wash it as regularly as I would other underclothes.
As for storing it when you're not wearing it so your mom doesn't see it, I used to stick mine inside a regular shirt when I was visiting my grandparents, so I could leave my suitcase open and my grandma wouldn't see it. Maybe put it in a nightshirt and cover it with underwear or something your mom doesn't want to sort through.
When I came home for my first break I just kept the ones I wasn't wearing in my backpack shuffled in among some papers and textbooks. My mom wasn't about to open my backpack anyway, and even if she did all she would see was schoolwork. As long as you stick them somewhere where laundry normally wouldn't go (i.e. closet, dresser, on top of your bed, or if you're me on the floor), she probably won't find them. As other people suggested, hand-wash them or wash them when your parents are away or sleeping, or if you have access to a car head over to a laundromat. Or you could just amass a bunch of your white clothes and toss in the binders too (if the binders are white...just do it for whatever color). Just make sure you're the one who puts the laundry in and takes it out!
Since you mentioned you weren't out to them but want to wear a binder/packer anyway, I'm not sure if you meant you also don't want them to find out you're wearing them. Since it's winter just wear a lot of baggy/layered clothes...in the same way it sometimes works to disguise a transman's chest and diminish its appearance, it can also diminish the fact that you're binding. Layering and dressing in baggy clothes serves to hide the body and draw attention away from that region. And for the packer...tuck that sucker like nobody's business. If your parents question you on either matter, just ask them why they're looking at that particular area. Okay maybe not, just play it off and act like you don't know what they're talking about, your chest has always been this size.
Best of luck over break!
I had the same in reverse, many years ago, when home from Uni and staying with my none accepting parents I would wash my lingerie in the sink and let it dry as best as I could. To fool Mum I bought some boy undies and would toss them into the laundry basket, must have been the cleanest undies in the world :laugh:
But if you have a few binders maybe a hand wash put them in a plastic bag and when going out put them in a dryer at the laundromat.
Good luck Guys,
Cindy
practically every MtF has had the awful experience while young and still in mothers house of having stash of female stuff found so it's a risk you FtMs have to take with your stuff.
good luck.
I personally haven't had to do that. But I'd suggest hiding them in a backpack, like someone said under papers or stuff it in a drawer or something where your clean clothes are and just keep the clean stuff neat so that she won't bother with it since it's already clean.
Ha I remember when my mom first started questioning why my chest was suddenly flatter. I had a point to that... oh right point is just play it off. Say it's always been that small or bring along a tight bra or two if you still own any and throw them in the wash she'll see them and figure that's why your so flat..
Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I'm waiting for my appointment to bring it up with my parents, so hopefully this is just temporary.
I went to an ftm meeting last night which was interesting. There were two guys around my age who more or less passed, but the one who interested me was an older man who I would not have ever guessed was trans. We pretty much just sat around and shot the breeze. It was fun if not all that helpful or informative.
Well as far as the binders go she will most likely think its an undershirt. As far as packers I don't know much about soft packs but I assume if your bulge isn't huge then your mom won't notice. No ones mom is going to look at their kids crotch, thats plain weird.