Hey girls,
I was chatting with another MTF and she was saying that she is completely different from the way she thought she'd end up being. I.E., She thought she was going to be a more Girly Girl and ended up being more Sporty/Tom Boyish.
Did any of you that have been through transition think like that?
I often think about what type of woman I would want to be or turn into but I found that you have to just let the stream take you and not dwell on it.
Just curious.
I didn't think I'd go crazy wearing dresses all the time or anything. I just wanted to be average and blend in, maybe be a little bit attractive. But aside from that I didn't really think much about it. I am who I am, I didn't really "change" into being a girl. The only thing that's really changed is my appearance, in the form of longer hair and a more female figure as well as clothes. I suppose I became a bit more emotional thanks to the HRT.
I'm not entirely sure. In many ways I am still finding myself.
I did not think I would be so interested in clothes, I did not think I would be so interested in being fit and keeping my body in shape, I did not think I would be as girly as I have become. Girly in the sense of wearing jewlery, going into rapture over a beautiful outfit, enjoying makeup, or using so many beauty products.
I'm with SamanthaFLA on this one. I would seek to fit in.
I'd like to think I could present myself to make my husband happy and keep him intrested.
But I don't see myself making any effort to be super girly. I would be happier being myself.
sometimes i hate how girly i am, i am the type that jogs wearing juicy couture tight sweats and mascara with lip gloss.....but my bf loves this and told me i am the most feminine girl hes ever been with and thats super hot hahaha.
I'm pretty much the same me I was before, which I honestly think may be a big part of why some people struggle to put a new name & pronoun on me. They're so comfortable with me that the fact I've sprouted boobs doesn't even distract from business meetings.
I'm apparently generally regarded as pretty femme, but I was this way before, only people just figured me for some sort of gay stereotype with a butch look.
I am still working that part out. I always thought I would just fade into the woodwork and indeed I have. But it was more out of necessity than design. I still would like to be more girly than I am, and it still may come to be.
Pretty much what I am which is a maverick rule breaker - a strong rebel who lives and dies by her own codes and nobody else's. :D
I surpose Im now a rather feminine lady, but since I met and married my Husband, he now has a big influence on style of woman I am now.
Quote from: spacial on December 18, 2010, 04:46:04 PM
I'd like to think I could present myself to make my husband happy and keep him intrested.
As Spacial has just said, the guy in your life I only realized, has and does have a big say and big influence on the kinda girl I am now, since I got married Mark wants me more and more girly, just going out on social occasions its mostly dresses and heels, resent cold weather he still wanted me in a dress I resently got in a winter sale, only I had on a top fur jacket I think I would have froze to death, but he does take care of me, not walking long distances in heels or out in freezing weather too long if we are just out on social occasions, it makes him happy and interested in me, its important in relationships, we all make little sacrifices, I love Him and want him happy, I use to wonder if its anything to do with my trans history, He just wants me to be pretty, feminine and girly, the ultimate girly girl lol
Pauline
I didn't think about it but i did get to be many types of women. I seem to have transcended many variations from an ugly masculine malish looking thing to a super hot stuff beach babe to a tuff dyke to a girl who can transition halfway to male. Yes i have had the fortune to have experienced so many variations and well thats whats life is about isn't it.. the experiences .. I surely can't complain about the good fortune i have had in regards to being who i am in many different peoples eyes and my own as well.. :angel:
However, along the way i never did experience sex with others which has been fine by me as the identity was more the reason for my transition than the intimacy.. I sought to feel the hearts of others which was way more important to me than any of the superficial things. It was fun to tease but not please and to be seen and desired but not taken and to be thought of as someone with much who cared more for others than myself and my own superficial pleasures..
Yes the experience has been to be in this place as seen by others knowing that many times people judged me for my looks and not my actions but the few rare ones who saw my heart were worth everything more than how anyone could ever think anything to be possible..
All this really fascinates me! Since I've only been in transition HRT for a little less than 3 months, I find myself thinking about this "How will I change?" Aside from the outside I guess. I am definitely into girlie things like manicures and pedicures, hairstyles, accessories etc., but I love the "sophisticated" intelligent (but sexy) women out there. Sort of like a female Indiana Jones who at night turns into a Victoria Secret sex kitten. LOL
For now, these are all fantasies. I guess the way most puberty stricken girls dream about adulthood.
...keep'em coming. I love hearing from all of you.
It seems to me that the longer you are in transition the more feminine you become. I suppose it is assimilation with the world around you. GGs are obviously female and working and socializing with them you naturally just get more into that role.
Caroline
I think that in many cases the continuing battle to be acknowledged as a woman
tends to drive us in the femme direction of presentation.
On the other hand, our independence makes us cling to some "masculine" aspects.
<------- Like this.
I didn't expect anything. But What I changed into wasn't really surprising.
I'm still finding myself, so it's hard to say. I thought I'd be pretty much the same but in a dress. So far I'm kind of the same and kind of different – and I rarely wear skirts or dresses. (I haven't worn most of my cross-dressing clothes since going fulltime. They're just too fussy to suit me.)
I tend to be more stylish than most women in my town. That may be partly the thrill of finally being able to wear what I want. I often wear heels, but usually boots with heels or wedges or shoes with good sturdy heels rather than spikey heels. I'm too old to look good in tight clothes. All that said, I very much dress appropriately for my age and where I live. Blending in was important to me in the beginning; now it just happens.
I'm attracted to men, which was a surprise, but I haven't learned yet how to flatter them properly. I guess that I am becoming my mother in some ways – a strong, confident older woman, friendly but self-contained.
- Kate
How come no one here thinks they would have been the 22 year old girl out at the trailer park in the double-wide with five kids from at least five different dads whose about to go on Jerry Springer because her new man's been a cheating with her sister?
Just simple odds would say it would have been at least one, if not two of the people reading this.
*maverick rule breaker*
I so love that thought Jen.... and can vouch for you on that score, to be true to yer typed word....lol
Externally I'm fairly girlie-gurl looking.... :P
But my hobbies and interest would suggest I have fictional ovaries caste in steel....
(in many respects I'm a mongrel cross betwixt Liz Hurley/Julia Bradbury)
Pretty much like I outta be and expected as such....
Quote from: Muffin on December 22, 2010, 07:52:48 AM
Before I started HRT I would go out with the local TG club and I don't know if it was that horrible testosterone in my body but I had an interest in skirts, heels and make-up. Looking back I cringe and am glad none of my family witnessed any of that. Now I'm all about the shmexxy tight jeans, sneakers and andro style shirts. I pass and I'm more than happy with that! Not that I can't walk in heels :P they're just more convenient!
I never did that, but I see a lot of other people who at first just swing wildly towards what they consider to be the uber-feminine side of things. A couple of months ago I was heading into my electrologist's office, and another transwoman was leaving. She was wearing a mini-skirt, high heels... She looked like she was heading to a nightclub, but it was the middle of the day. I just remember thinking to myself that I don't know one natal woman who would wear anything like that during the day. And even if they had to wear heels for work or whatever, they would have switched to a walking shoe to head to their electrologist appointment... Plus, dressing like that does nothing but get a person clocked if they're not that passable.
I can walk in heels just fine, but I prefer boots, sneakers, things like that. Casual wear for me is jeans and Converse All-Stars, the most comfortable shoe I own.
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Now when I hear guys talking about love, relationships, how a girls mind words I just think "gooosshh you haven't a clue"... "but carry on it's still interesting!!!!!!". I guess if there is anything that I knew was coming it was knowing that I would be more emotional and less "angry", I still have my moments but they are fewer and further between. I remember a friend once said "the lowest moments on E are still higher than the highest moments of T". It's a fun statement maybe not true true but I took from it the fact that even low times on E can still feel comforting.. like crying it's so cathartic. So in a way things don't seem as dire as they used to.. can't say how much I saw that coming though.
I feel the same way as your friend... the low moments on E are much preferable to even my highest moments on T. I actually think about that a lot after I'm done crying or sobbing or otherwise having an emotionally low day. So it's true for me... :-)
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As far as hobbies and interests go I've let a lot of my old interests fade away and kinda feel in limbo... actually I don't feel as obligated to have an interest or hobby.. but if something pops up that I fancy then I'll do it. eerrr... no pun intended :/
speaking of such I've found that certain people I know think I'm funnier than I used to be, I think that has come from being happier with myself.. I should of seen that coming but didn't. I also think my taste in music has expanded I feel more open minded about what I'll listen to and enjoy I never thought there would ever be a time where I could say I'd listen to IDM/electronica but ...here we are! :P
Most of my interests have changed, I think simply because I get no reward from doing them anymore. Though I never really went to the extent of typical genetic males (because I never felt like one or fit in with them), I used to take part in some more aggressive activities, like shoot-em-up video games, to kind of have an outlet for some of that aggressiveness I got from T. I don't really have any of that anymore... slowly but surely, I got to a point where they just don't do anything for me. And I have switched roles in multiplayer games, I always pick support characters that aren't on the front lines of battle.
My music tastes have changed a bit... I still listen to a lot of Industrial, goth, EBM, IDM, etc., but now I find myself listening to the less "angsty" stuff, because I'm not angry anymore I guess :-)
I suppose I'm a bit of a boffin/egghead. I prefer the vintage/scholarly look. But being an engineer at heart, most of the things I do and wear are about utility (keys on the belt as a prime example). I own one purse that looks like it was issued by the army and I rarely carry it as I have nothing to put in it. Picture is worth a thousand words so here's a link to what I'd like to have in terms of clothing:
http://www.modcloth.com/storefront/lovelists/395670 (http://www.modcloth.com/storefront/lovelists/395670)
As far as activities I again love composing music and writing stories. I play exactly one video game: Guild Wars. I'm can chill with the guys and talk about whatever they fancy but still have a good night out with the girls.
Oh and I hate having long hair.
I really don't know ... I just hope that I could just be myself...
and I have yet no idea what that will be like ???
perhaps a tomboy girl with girly girl streak or the other way arround ..... :-\
Serious answer time.
I think I'm slowly becoming less androgynous than i thought i was going to be. when I was having to pretend to be male, being androgynous was a huge comfort, now not so much. it's not all dresses and high heels, but it's defo more feminine that i thought I would be at the start. interest wise, difficult to say, i've neglected a few hobbies just through not being in the right mental space to do them, though I do still enjoy them when i do them. I've taken up long boarding again, and i think i enjoy it even more this time round. makes my arms bloody tired though. I still read the same comics and authors and would still call myself a geek. Other than that, I don't know, ask me in another 12 months.
I was always one to describe myself as a "tomboy", becuase as much as I identify as female, I had/have a number of maleish interests. I really have no right to that label, pre-transition, though. Of course I have maleish interests, I was raised as a male. I wasn't socially forbidden from expressing female interests, but there was no form of social reinfocement either (as there would have been with a birth identified female) if I did girly things.
Only time will tell...
Quote from: Maddie Secutura on December 22, 2010, 11:57:28 AM
I play exactly one video game: Guild Wars.
Guild Wars. Aaah! I don't play anymore because my computer is half fried and I'm afraid if I play any more computer games my laptop will go crash. But I have a ranger and a boatload of pink dye that I'll probably never be able to use.