Anybody notice being more fearful or weepy when starting E, or did starting E help this?
Yes, I got a little weepy when I started, but it went away after a week or two. "Tear Jerker" movies and such seem to make me water up more than it used to though.
Definitely. In some ways, I think the feelings were always present, but going on E 'unlocked' them and made them much harder to contain.
I was virtually an emotionless void pre estrogen - I could stop myself crying at funerals if I desired. Now I couldn't do that if my life depended on it.
fearful no. I have been developed claustrophobic since I could not breath one day.
Weepy. Hell yes. And thank the gods. I have too long held in the emotions, and they have developed into a rage that can exploded at a moments notice.
And the Glorious E has helped to release those emotions.
I have not felt either 'tearful' or 'weepy', what I felt straight away and continue to feel is a deep calmness and serenity, I feel centred, more energetic, and incredibly optimistic about the future. My mind was constantly turbulent pre-HRT, now my mind is as still and as tranquil as a remote mountain lake.
Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 19, 2010, 11:37:28 PM
the Glorious E
for some reason this puts me in mind of this
Magic E (Look & Read) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-Gq17O-HRc#)
Oh and as to the OP...I blub now...a lot. I have to be careful that my mascara doesn't run.
Weepy, yes. As the others have said, the E unlocked my emotions. (yay!)
Fearful, also yes. But it wasn't the estrogen. As a woman, I am more vulnerable (and perhaps more aware of my vulnerability). As an identifiable transsexual, I was also more vulnerable. I am less identifiable as a transsexual now, so I feel a little safer, but I'm still more vulnerable as a woman than I was as a supposed man.
(Story: I had to go to the sheriff's office to change some paperwork to change my name and then later my gender. I told a male deputy that I was more vulnerable now. He went: Huh? I also told a female deputy the same thing. She went: Of course!)
- Kate
I'm usually not fearful unless I'm alone and it's dark out or I'm close to a group of rowdy guys that I don't know. I was always scared in those situations though so E hasn't changed anything here.
Weepy... oh definitely. Depending on the day I can cry at the dumbest things. I set my personal record last weekend by crying 5 times while watching "The Time Traveler's Wife." :-\
I'm not on E, but its been some time now since I have had T, so I am probably without much of either. I've found that I cry much easier now, and I'm sensitive anyway, but seem more so now. I also feel a bit more fearful. I'm also thinking more about the vulnerability of women, so maybe that has something to do with it, plus the fact that a man threatened me a while back and I'm still nervous since I have to be around him to an extent and I don't trust him.
I'm hoping that if I am able to get on E, it will give me some balance and inner strength that I know women have.
I feel more weepy since starting E, but less fearful. I'm happy with both changes :)
I'm especially happy with feeling less fearful, although I'm not sure yet why I feel less fearful. It may be because I feel more confident about myself, but I've been on E too short to have significant changes in appearance so I don't know why I would feel more comfortable about myself. It could be just because E suits me.
I guess that in a way I have become more vulnerable, not as much in the inside, but on the outside, or how I'm showing it. I can imagine interpreting that as being more fearful, but I don't think it's the same. So I'm wondering if you are interpreting your feelings right. Can I ask what your fear was like before you started E? And what it is like now?
Quote from: Riannah on December 20, 2010, 07:13:23 PM
I guess that in a way I have become more vulnerable, not as much in the inside, but on the outside, or how I'm showing it. I can imagine interpreting that as being more fearful, but I don't think it's the same. So I'm wondering if you are interpreting your feelings right. Can I ask what your fear was like before you started E? And what it is like now?
Good point. I'm not really more fearful. I'm more wary and more careful. Perhaps I'm just more aware of being vulnerable. But then, I'm more aware altogether now that I'm not always busy trying to be something I'm not.
- Kate
I was an emotional rollercoaster my entire life. HRT smoothed things out tremendously. The swings don't come nearly as quickly and aren't nearly as wild.
Fearful no, Weepy Yes.... But the emotions were always there but I never was able to express them and constantly felt like ramming my head into a wall because of that and often did ... the only emotion that I was ever able to express pre-HRT was anger and constant irritation at everything around me ...
after HRT ... my mind was calm and a lot happier... I feel better about expressing myself rather than just bottling it up...
And there were a few mood swings in the first 2-3 weeks but they have gone away now...
I seem to be a bit unusual in that really... no not really.
I got upset easily over minor stuff my whole life, HRT didn't really change that at all.
I didn't really notice any obvious mental effects at all from HRT.
Yes definitely weepy, but as many others have said it seems to be a release. In guy mode I went through many harrowing things in work and would bottle it up, and dwell. I now cry and feel fine, as the other woman do, and the guys are still stressed the next day, or hungover.
Fearful. No. Careful yes. Aware so much more of my surroundings. Nothing magical just being more aware. Have routines, keys ready etc. I carry a little torch in my hand bag (purse), so I don't wait to open doors. I don't regard it as fear; just caution. Yes I let close people know I'm going out and when I get back if going solo. Never did that as a guy.
And the chats after are sometimes the best part of the evening :laugh:
Cindy
Fearful Yes... Weepy not really.
Pre-HRT I would get frightened I would get angry to thus making me want to lash out, now I just get scared the anger associated with the fear is absent.
LOL. This is kinda funny to me because for the past 2 weeks, there is always something that seems to trigger a flood of tears to pour out of me.
For example, I was just looking at my wife and then I started to think how beautiful and amazing she was for sticking through all my changes. Then that triggered the other stuff...like, I hope people don't pick on her because of me, then I started thinking I hope I can be all that she needs, and then it went on to I hope I do enough for her and then, I don't want to burden her...the tears became a flood after about 30 minutes. And through it all, she simply smiled and told me how much she loves me, and cares about me and that I was a great wife! Which started the process all over again. LOL
Honestly, regardless of what the reason is, I always seem to feel better after I shed a few tears. Maybe it's just from holding back so many years (my wife had never seen me cry before HRT).
Fearful....maybe a little. But I can handle that part...I think? :)
OMG yes (I'm in the E can cry now emotion release club) I would cry at the drop of a hat, now just about every 28 days or so I will cry no reason then I'm done :)
I've always been weepy, even before HRT. I watched this Korean Romance film called "...Ing" a few years back and was bawling my eyes out by the end. It is also, hands down, the saddest film I've ever seen in my life, and I've watched a lot of movies. But now, I tear up even more so and that's only after a month on Estrogen.
Fearful no.
Weepy, a bit when watching movies where I wouldn't have cared before.
in having discussions of a heartful nature my wife keeps saying don't cry on me now. Lol
She also accuses me of being hormonal when we argue. This is new as before I was just a dick. (LOL)
FYI- 2 months on S and E
I cry all the time pre-HRT. If anything is "supposed" to make me cry it works. Any movie, commercial, music video, anyone getting hurt, art. I can't image HRT making me cry MORE.