It has been decided that I am going to see my family doctor sometime this month and just talk through my issues. I no longer want transition to be a fantasy. I want it to happen. Maybe not right this second. But I know it's a goal for me. However I'm having trouble finding courage to go to my doctor. Like actually picking up the phone and making an appointment. And when I get there, I will start shaking, sweating, and won't be able to talk and say what I want to say. Is this an indication that I am not ready yet? I've been having the most random nightmares and I think they may have something to do with me wanting to transition into a boy. I have a feeling once I talk to someone about it I'll feel better at least. But then why can't I just make an appointment and pick up the phone? Am I the only one who has these worries? What was your first appointment like? Were you anxious? How did you overcome this? What advice could you give to me? :-\
I was a basket case on an emotional roller coaster. No for me it wasn't hard to get myself to go. Once I had faced up to the fact that there was a problem and it was causing real problems for me at home and at work I had to have some relief! It's one of the best things I have ever done for myself. My only difficulty with that was with my medical doctor. He turned me down flat and told me he would not help me. OK, so much for him! Your doctor should work for you not the other way around & he/she should have your best interest in mind when considering treatment options.
When you go just be yourself and above all be honest with the therapist. Don't be afraid - they are supposed to help you sort difficult things out and find where to go from there.
Randi
my first visit I walked to doctor's door still undecided about whether I should say I want to start sex chnage or to make up some muscle pain. but I opened door, sat down, took a deep breath and said 'I want to know about sex change.'
I would love to have a secret video recording of the moment.
Quote from: Josh T on December 28, 2010, 01:15:46 PM
It has been decided that I am going to see my family doctor sometime this month and just talk through my issues. I no longer want transition to be a fantasy. I want it to happen. Maybe not right this second. But I know it's a goal for me. However I'm having trouble finding courage to go to my doctor. Like actually picking up the phone and making an appointment. And when I get there, I will start shaking, sweating, and won't be able to talk and say what I want to say. Is this an indication that I am not ready yet? I've been having the most random nightmares and I think they may have something to do with me wanting to transition into a boy. I have a feeling once I talk to someone about it I'll feel better at least. But then why can't I just make an appointment and pick up the phone? Am I the only one who has these worries? What was your first appointment like? Were you anxious? How did you overcome this? What advice could you give to me? :-\
I told my boss long before I told my doctor; that was entirely more difficult than telling my doctor, a few months later.
There's not really any advice that I can give, except that if you want this badly, you WILL find the courage to do it.
If you can't, then you may have to resign yourself to the idea that maybe this isn't your time.
Rest assured that eventually you'll get to a point where your need to transition outweighs any other considerations - even your fears :)
Josh, being afraid of initiating change, especially such a profound change, is always scary. It's normal and natural to feel the way you do. You fears don't indicate a lack of commitment to transition, just a normal and natural response to a stressful situation (or at least perceived as such), especially at your age. I applaud your courage (yes, COURAGE) in making the decision to see your doctor. When I was you age, there was no WAY I could have done that. Of course, it was a different world then. Even now, I went to my doctor last July to ask for a referral to the Gender Identity Clinic. He knows me as a 54-year-old man, married over 30 years, he treats my wife and kids also, and has known me for over 10 years. As me how nervous I was to tell him about this!
But doctors are professionals, and even if they don't have specific training about transsexualism, they do have training about how to treat patients, and they know how to be professional in such a situation. But be prepared - your doctor may not know any good therapists in your area, and may not be well connected to trans resources. That is something YOU may need to find on your own. Sad, but such is the way things often are. But don't be afraid to reach out, you'll be amazed at the resources you'll find if you do.
Quote from: Colleen Ireland on December 28, 2010, 02:50:10 PM
I applaud your courage (yes, COURAGE) in making the decision to see your doctor.
Me too.
I can't say a lot more.
But write down, on a piece of paper. the words, Dr. I need to change my physical sex.
Keep that in your hand when you go and see him. Read it out if necessary.
I've severe social anxiety, more severe than I've admitted to myself yet I'm sure..
My main coping mechanism is to make it about the thing, not me.
Instead of talking about what I actually want, I ask for a referral to a specialist in that area.
I ask for paper, not for "help".
It's a start,.. and it's helped me.
I also do the "write it down" bit so that if all else fails I can just hand the guy the paper..