Hey! Fellas! I have a general topic/discussion/question and I want you to be honest, k? How do you feel about MTF and non-dudes coming into your forums and responding to posts and generally engaging in conversation? I see a lot of super interesting topics in your area many times and then sometimes I see the responses and it feels like me responding is the equivalent of walking in on a living room of guys talking and sharing my thoughts. In some cases, that just wouldn't be cool. I'm thinking mainly of like topics that are general and open, not stuff that I have never related too. Like I don't deal much with some of the things you guys talk about but some of the topics are things I have experience with or where I just want to converse about. What do you guys think? Not just about me, but in general? Inquiring minds want to know :) Meghan
I think that it's prefectly fine for you non-blokes to come in here. I tend to stay out of the MTF subforum, mostly because I can't be of any help and answer the questions asked there. Sometimes I do butt in there and answer something, though, but mostly I don't.
So yeah, it's perfectly all right. I don't mind at all.
If the answer or comment is relative, post away. I don't look at what forum it is on, to me it is all the same.
As long as they are respectful yeah.
Its not like it says 'Boys club house no girls allowed".
I agree that it's cool when relevant. The quality of ideas and opinions should stand for themselves, without regard to whom is sharing.
My only 'concern' - which is albeit just MY opinion - is that I like susan's because there is an active group of guys posting here. I feel like it's easy for FTMs spaces to get over-run by MTFs, and it really does change the entire tone and tenor of the dialogue when that happens.
I guess what I'm saying is that I think it's neat when MTFs have stuff to add and offer here. But we do have the 'common' areas and we do have the MTF specific areas. And I would hate to see the FTM area become co-opted by in-jokes, flirtiness, or the general vibe that is typically found in coed or MTF designated areas.
So I guess what I'd say is: sure, join in, but please be mindful that this *is* Dude-land and not Everybody-land. :P
Personally, I think it's fine for ladies to chime in when they have something relevant to say. I've gotten some great advice from some of the women here. My only issue is the occasions where someone posts something along the lines of "OMG How can you stand that? I'm SO glad I'm not living as a guy anymore!" That's kinda rude and sortta makes you go "uh... and the point of that interjection was...?"
But yeah, as someone else said we just have to be respectful of each other's point of view. I think there will always be some things that we're just not gonna understand about each other cause of our perspectives and experiences.
Nos casa es su casa
It's always nice to have another point of view on things.
I come here to learn more about the body and people's experiences. I try not to post too often, though. I don't want to overrun the forum. I know how us girls can be complete chatterboxes.
Cool with me as long as it's on topic and not offensive. Though I do agree with what Sean said too.
I don't comment much on the girls section but I tend to read there. Knowledge is power or something like that. Basically I just like knowing a lot about the entire trans community because it gives me the ability to have a logical conversation about both sides :)
I don't usually mind, but there are certain topics that tend to irk me when MTFs post, especially dysphoria related, physical changes, and sometimes passing/public perception related posts. A lot of times the responses come across as dismissive or just plain bragging that "well i'm SO glad i'm not a guy anymore" or "now that i'm on estrogen....". it's irrelevant and can sometimes be intrusive and verges on making me feel uncomfortable. but that's just me
if it's relevant AND helpful and not dismissive, then the more the marrier
Glad to have you as far as I'm concerned
Doesn't bother me :)
I feel like you already have the mindset we appreciate. You already said you don't post when it's relevant or things you don't deal with, but when you have stuff to say that you have experience with. My problem is when people hijack a post and start long arguments about things not about the original poster's comment, like coming in with "oh, this is all just male bigotry" when it's been clearly said before it's kinda guys just ranting.
As long as everyone it being thoughtful and on-track, ftm, mtf, pre-op, non-op, post, doesn't matter to me.
I think it is fine, especially when you share your experiences of when you had to pretend to be male. Sometimes that info is very useful to us.
Jay
To be perfectly honest, the FTM forums are way more active than the MTF ones, so it's difficult not to engage sometimes.
However, there is an option to hide certain child forums if you don't want to see them. I'm happy to use that if the men don't want any intrusion.
Quote from: sneakersjay on December 31, 2010, 11:40:38 PM
I think it is fine, especially when you share your experiences of when you had to pretend to be male. Sometimes that info is very useful to us.
Yeah. I think sometimes I know more about being male than cis males, because I had to study masculine behavior and force myself to emulate it. Most of my guy friends just do what they do without really thinking about why they are doing it. My friend is like that. He can't figure out why I don't like being a guy. But at the same time, I don't think he can figure out why he likes masculine activities even when they frustrate him.
I found that people perceived me as male the most when I had a very "hard" personality. Remember, the "tough guy" is always tough, regardless of what his actual reputation is. The more you care about what people think about you, the more feminine/submissive you will seem. It's not that guys are less sociable than girls, because that's not the case. It's the way they relate to the society around them that matters. Guys tend to have a very independent, do-it-yourself mentality. All of my male friends display this type of personality in some form or fashion. It's very common.
Quote from: VeryGnawty on January 01, 2011, 12:01:28 AM
The more you care about what people think about you, the more feminine/submissive you will seem.
I can't think of a word that I would hate to be described as more than the bolded word above - except maybe "spineless".
Quote from: Vexing on January 01, 2011, 12:05:57 AM
I can't think of a word that I would hate to be described as more than the bolded word above - except maybe "spineless".
I have both dominant and submissive aspects to my personality. But I know some girls who are dominant almost all the time. In fact, much more dominant than any of my guy friends.
That wouldn't bother me at all. Insight from those with different backgrounds can be just as helpful as insight from those who are more similar.
Fine by me.
I'd hate to impede Dude-Land, but sometimes I do interject my comments.
I think that I've learned a lot from the guys here.
It's very interesting the similarities and the differences.
I don't think the FTM board would be open to anyone other than us if it was only meant for us to post, this is a place of support and insight which the ladies can definitely give at times and I have no problem with that.
And to add, I think no matter where we post we should have respectful comments (not that its always going to be that way with such a variety of people and minds) because I don't think Susan started these forums with the intention of debate.
Nothing wrong with debate, argument is another story.
I quite like the ladies joining in they tend to give a different view of things. Also ive noticed that they re always there with a shoulder to cry on when we need it or a cheer when somethings gone right. After all, apart from a few technicalities, we're all in this together
I was never one for "private" forums unless it really covers some seriously private business. It doesn't bother me in the least if you ladies are posting around here. Just because this section of the forum is called Female to Male Transsexual Talk, doesn't mean it's off limits. :p
I like it when MTF's join in. The wider the range of perspectives on a topic, the more interesting the thread is to read.
I think it's fine. =] As long as what you say is at least somewhat relevant, and you aren't talking just to be talking. lol I've seen a few girls post in the forums, and it didn't bother me at all. It's good to be able to post in everyone's forums. =)
Quote from: MeghanAndrews on December 31, 2010, 04:08:55 PM
Hey! Fellas! I have a general topic/discussion/question and I want you to be honest, k? How do you feel about MTF and non-dudes coming into your forums and responding to posts and generally engaging in conversation? I see a lot of super interesting topics in your area many times and then sometimes I see the responses and it feels like me responding is the equivalent of walking in on a living room of guys talking and sharing my thoughts. In some cases, that just wouldn't be cool. I'm thinking mainly of like topics that are general and open, not stuff that I have never related too. Like I don't deal much with some of the things you guys talk about but some of the topics are things I have experience with or where I just want to converse about. What do you guys think? Not just about me, but in general? Inquiring minds want to know :) Meghan
You're completely welcome here :) I do the same thing in the ladies' forum pretty often.
Not to sound like a broken record ... but it doesn't bother me in the least if ladies post in this thread...I actually like getting some advice from a female who was trapped in a male body and had to play that role for a while.
On the flip side guys, it's always interesting to hear your point of view on things in the MtF forum :)
Quote from: Rob on January 03, 2011, 10:42:12 AMI actually like getting some advice from a female who was trapped in a male body and had to play that role for a while.
Still playing that role, but hopefully not for too much longer. I've developed quite the acting talent over the years. Hollywood couldn't afford me.
I have been concerned about posting here too. :/
(Especially because Osiris and DRAIN are scary meanypantses.)
Quote from: bearded on January 03, 2011, 03:48:39 PM
I have been concerned about posting here too. :/
(Especially because Osiris and DRAIN are scary meanypantses.)
:D :D :D
I don't mean to be scary! There might even be a few people who think I'm... nice? :P
Quote from: bearded on January 03, 2011, 03:48:39 PM
I have been concerned about posting here too. :/
(Especially because Osiris and DRAIN are scary meanypantses.)
No way, Dude! I've found your posts quite interesting. It's nice to have [even a subtle] reminder that we are all humans here, not a Transgender Elite Squad.
And as for girls and others, I'm fine with that too. Sometimes I get confused about pronouns though if a poster doesn't have a gender marker chosen. I'm not sure if ze/hir are appropriate for everyone?
I tend to take the "FTM" subforum as a "place where we talk about blokes" not "blokes-only-land".
I tend to see the MTF subforum pretty much the same, 'cept "chicks" insted of blokes.
so... it's all good by me.
I had to live a male life but along the way learned a lot about it. I know that world very well. I usually pipe in when the I think my perspective or experience can be of some help.
I'm guessing a lot of guys here learned a lot about the female world. They can offer a perspective on it that I can get honestly and I've really appreciated help from the guys.
But there are times when I have wondered if I'm butting in. It's nice to see that's not the case.
Quote from: Miniar on January 03, 2011, 05:11:05 PM
I tend to take the "FTM" subforum as a "place where we talk about blokes" not "blokes-only-land".
I tend to see the MTF subforum pretty much the same, 'cept "chicks" insted of blokes.
so... it's all good by me.
yeah, guess most peeps round here grew out of the tree-house-club phase^^
Quote from: Clay on January 03, 2011, 05:28:46 PM
yeah, guess most peeps round here grew out of the tree-house-club phase^^
Bummer...I like tree houses.