Though I appreciate the thought behind it...there is no way I'm wearin the girl clothes + jewelry my family got me. It's nice....but just not for me.
Ugh ... Yes.
I told my mom I wanted a necklace or earrings and she sent me the most manly looking chain I think she could find. :(
I appreciated the thought, but the execution was bad.
Quote from: Alex201 on January 02, 2011, 08:07:06 PM
Though I appreciate the thought behind it...there is no way I'm wearin the girl clothes + jewelry my family got me. It's nice....but just not for me.
Did the gift givers know about you being trans?
Quote from: Vexing on January 02, 2011, 08:50:49 PM
Did the gift givers know about you being trans?
some did...some didn't. I can't really comlpain about the ones that don't know.
Just from my fiancee's mother. She thinks showering me with female compliments and female gifts will cure me. Yeah, ok. Thankfully, it was limited to women's ski gloves and the girliest manicure set under the sun. I wouldn't dare allow her to buy me clothes. -__-
Yeah, I'm not out to my family yet, and my mother is still of the opinion that I would like the strangest things. Things like hello kitty underwear with sequins and this widget for hair removal. I feel really bad though because my dad, who does silversmithing as a hobby, made me a really great earring/pendant set. I know he put a lot of time and energy into them, and they won't really be worn.
well not exactly gender inappropriate, unless you think girls don't play video games, and really it was stuff i had put on my list of things i want (which is for everyone, so it doesn't include anything girly), but i did hope that even though it wasn't on the list, my parents and brother would give me some jewellry or clothes or something... oh well, next time i will mention that i'd like gifts like that.
Well I got two shirts for xmas, like PJ shirts and they aren't really shirts I'd ever wear as pjs, and they are kinda boys so that. But my mom did buy me some really expensive suede boots from vans that are definitely female. I'm so confused cuz my parents don't support me. Is this her way of saying hey I do support you but don't tell dad? lol. Or was she just oblivious to the fact that they are female shoes?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsites.google.com%2Fsite%2Fkewlshoe1%2Fhome%2FVansPhoebeEspresso01.jpg&hash=70bba08ad0cf8dc7c0e0eff75a0b5cf4394b7dbb)
These are the boots, buy mine are black. Everyone I've asked said they aren't really something any guy would wear and my therapist was like I'd never buy those for my boys or like my husband, I'd buy them for me sure but not for a boy.
No actually, but probably because i took the easy way out and asked for money and vouchers for clothes...my parental units even bought me some silver earrings, which was a big surprise if i'm honest.
i didnt get a single present for christmas... oh well life could be worse lol
I've got "The Bro Code" by Barney Stinson from my sis. I'm not fully out to her yet and i like How i met your mother, so i think its a nice present... And its still fun to read, i already learned that girls can be bros too :laugh:
Quote from: BridgetBby on January 03, 2011, 06:09:06 AM
i didnt get a single present for christmas... oh well life could be worse lol
My wife and I don't give each other presents either. It just seems so shallow.
But always pleased to hear of others. Think the inappropriate gifts are more an expression of what others think.
If I were Lee for example, I'd put those underwear aside and keep them as a reminder. In future years, they could become quite funny.
Kitchen stuff and money,
Nothing exciting but all stuff I kinda need.
I don't do Christmas, so I don't expect any presents but get them anyway :D With that in mind, I didn't get much, but what I did get was pretty cool - lack of gender boundaries runs in the family, so they just buy according to what the person likes. Not so much with one of my housemates (the other's more girly than me!), but thankfully I didn't get stung there either :)
Well, put it this way. If I did get something girly, I'd put it aside for if I ever get a girlfriend ;)
Only if you consider a pistol for men only.
:)
First year I haven't. My female name was also only on one present - from my grandma who as fas as I know doesn't 'know'.
I got more 'little kid' type stuff. Which I enjoy. Like a soccer ball, wallace and grommit movies, kinder surprises, etc.
I haven't received gifts this year, only a non-gift really and it was something that someone else didn't want: a box of wine.
Quote from: cynthialee on January 03, 2011, 03:59:44 PM
Only if you consider a pistol for men only.
Yeah right! (http://rezzguns.com/Girly%20Guns/images/large/large_3.jpg) :D
I just don't think this would look quite right with pink grips...
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.circlekb.com/merchant2/graphics/00000001/1851NavyBrassBluelg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.circlekb.com/product/1851NB.html&usg=__SAf9-LLn1JB6UJEi6_XGAz4R96k=&h=207&w=510&sz=17&hl=en&start=9&sig2=vYz4lg9Xv0wfR1vGG5lQcA&zoom=1&tbnid=2ap73xan1IdhVM:&tbnh=66&tbnw=163&ei=glciTfi9IJK-sQPDp73vCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmodel%2B1851%2Bnavy%2Bcolt%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26biw%3D1076%26bih%3D450%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C337&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=596&vpy=202&dur=98&hovh=143&hovw=353&tx=172&ty=63&oei=fFciTf3IKYyssAOm_qiECg&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:9&biw=1076&bih=450 (http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.circlekb.com/merchant2/graphics/00000001/1851NavyBrassBluelg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.circlekb.com/product/1851NB.html&usg=__SAf9-LLn1JB6UJEi6_XGAz4R96k=&h=207&w=510&sz=17&hl=en&start=9&sig2=vYz4lg9Xv0wfR1vGG5lQcA&zoom=1&tbnid=2ap73xan1IdhVM:&tbnh=66&tbnw=163&ei=glciTfi9IJK-sQPDp73vCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmodel%2B1851%2Bnavy%2Bcolt%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26biw%3D1076%26bih%3D450%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C337&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=596&vpy=202&dur=98&hovh=143&hovw=353&tx=172&ty=63&oei=fFciTf3IKYyssAOm_qiECg&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:9&biw=1076&bih=450)
nope
I didn't get anything girly....I have only gotten gifts from my wife & kids --- my family hasn't sent me any gifts and I don't know if they will -- Idk
My wife is really trying to support me ... she got me men's cologne & tools & video games.
I'm so sorry, but I
have to go there....
Quote from: cynthialee on January 03, 2011, 03:59:44 PM
Only if you consider a pistol for men only.
:)
Let's celebrate the spirit of the season of peace on earth and goodwill between all with....... guns? Oo ??? ??? ???
(I'm sure it's a very nice gun though)
I am not Christian. If I were I would not have asked for a colt.
Just found out that most of the clothing I got is from Macy's and that they take returns without a receipt. :)
So what guns are Christians supposed to ask or then? :P
Everything I got this year was petty gender neutral. Gift certificate to an outdoor gear store, hat and gloves, money, and a subscription to wired magazine. The gloves were womens, but there is nothing feminine about them
My mum is one of the few people who knows about my trans issues. This year I asked for a pair of hair straighteners as my hair is growing out and I am sick of using hers. She bought me some ultra mens styling straighteners :/ and also 3 aftershave sets.
I honestly felt like crying after opening them. Not to sound like I am being ungrateful because I know she spends a lot of money on my gifts, it just shown me that she doesn't accept this one bit. Why couldn't she have just gave me money or bought me something gender neutral!!
Then, when my family came around 2 of my sisters bought me an aftershave set AND my nan and grandad! A couple of days later I asked if they still had the receipts so I could exchange them as I already had those, to which they all replied that my mum had bought them and they just gave her the money. My mum also accidently on purpose lost the receipts!
Thanks mum, nice to know you are taking this transitioning on board!!
Got a crappy little bath set. Everything else was gender neutral, or at least not OBVIOUSLY for boys.
Unisex scrubs!!!
Hilariously and very conspicuously absent from my stalking were the boxer briefs my brother got. (traditionally, my ever-creative mother gets us the exact same thing every year... NOT ANYMORE!!!111!!OONEONEONEONEoneoneoneunouno!1!)
Anyway, the peeps managed to not get me anything boyish. Sick!
just the birthday card a couple days after, that said daughter on it and was all glittery and blaaaaaah from my dad. since he has no idea, there's no way he'd think to get me a card that says 'son' and I'd really be amazed if that ever happens.
far as xmas goes, a black boombox that works really well, mens button up shirts and mens pjs, axe soap and a whole bunch of candy from mom yay ;D
The only gender specific gift I got was some guy's pajama pants from my dad. But considering I wore those and loved those even before coming out, I don't think they count.
My one gift (that I did not buy for myself) was as neutral as can be, a tin of cookies.
Only one, from my stepdad's dad's girlfriend. A pink, pale orange, lilac, baby blue, and yellow scarf. She knitted it herself, and it's really soft and warm, so I appreciate the gesture, but uh... about the girliest colours she could choose (even my mom got a plain green/blue one that was fairly gender neutral). She doesn't know, so I can't really blame her... except she's well aware I wear only dark colours and am not girly. As conservative as she is I think she was trying to convert me to femininity. Otherwise, my gifts were all great, ties and shaving supplies, that sort of thing.
I spent Xmas day with my wife's family and it was great. The 'funniest' gift was by my brother in law to his wife. A cordless drill set (and not in pink) she was ecstatic, been wanting one for ever. I'm the only one in the family who can tell one end of a screw driver from the other. So the next comment from Jenny was; Cindy, you have to come around and show me how to use it. We are the handygirls of the family. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Loved it
Cindy
Does anyone else think that, presents of deoderants, bathing products and aftershave type of things are somewhat insulting?
Surely a present is suppose to represent something. These just tell you that you have poor personal hygine and stink.
Oh, thanks, if you think I stink you could have told me privately.
spacial: Yes and no. Some people just rather enjoy bathing. My girlfriend loves baths and would adore things like bath salts. Though I don't think you should gives things for personal hygiene use that are just normal things, like deodorant or shampoo. Does that make sense?
Now to the thread!
I actually did not receive any female gifts from my family. I don't think I have for a long time. I think after I got to my Junior year of high school they finally got the hint that I wasn't going to enjoy any female things they wanted to give me. This year my mom bought be some "pajamas" and my grandma got me a pair of Wranglers jeans. Even with all of this type of acceptance, I worry that they'll take me being trans quite hard.
This year my parents gave me :
* DRUM ROLL *
NOTHING! Not sure if that's better than getting an inappropriate gift or not frankly.......
Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on January 03, 2011, 03:05:34 AM
But my mom did buy me some really expensive suede boots from vans that are definitely female. I'm so confused cuz my parents don't support me. Is this her way of saying hey I do support you but don't tell dad? lol. Or was she just oblivious to the fact that they are female shoes?
Since the sizing is different, she must have known they were womens, I would think. Congrats :)
Oh, and my hubby got me all super girly stuff. Sweet of him, but uh, I don't wear pink anything nor anything with tassels :D
Quote from: Jerica on January 04, 2011, 05:04:14 PM
This year my parents gave me :
* DRUM ROLL *
NOTHING! Not sure if that's better than getting an inappropriate gift or not frankly.......
That's precisely what I've received over the last 10+ years from my parents.
In fact, I think the last present they ever bought me for Xmas was an ironing board, after I joined the army in 1998. Exciting stuff, no?
Luckily for me my parents/family always let me play with whatever I wanted so even as a kid I was always getting hot wheels and toy planes. it'd be a shock if I suddenly got "girly" things for christmas!
Yes. I've been subtly coming out to my family for a while now and the last time I saw my mother I was more direct about some things and told her I didn't wear female-gendered clothing or makeup. I basically stopped a little while after I moved out of my house at 18-19 so it was about time I share haha. Even before then I wasn't particularly girly, just more female oriented in terms of fashion because that's what I had to work with. I had also continuously tried to talk to her about my dysphoria but at that time I didn't know what it was called or how to explain.
I should also say my mother and I don't get along at all and she is pretty much convinced that biological females have a chip imbedded in their skulls that makes them like the colour pink and lifetime television for women. That said, she bought me:
-a gift card to Sephora (a large makeup chain)
-a bottle of vanilla pefume
-a gift card to urban outfitters (this I liked actually. They have a fabulous mens section.)
I have another sephora gift card leftover from my birthday back in october that hasn't been used either. The only thing I've put on it is a pot of bronzer and eyebrow tint to help masculinize my face if I'm feeling particularly dysphoric.
Seriously, by the time I'm 30 I'll have a lifetime supply of dark eyebrows and cheekbones.
I was happy with my bath stuff spacial. because I told mom it was what I needed, and got to pick it out.
I'm sorry Tad and others. I hoped to inject a little humour into some of the posts, especially those that were a little miffed with gender associations.
Personally, Any gift that is given with consideration and care should be accepted with total grace.
I will also suggest that not receiveing anything should be treated in the same way.
I have to say, I'm really pleased for those who received things that made them happy and very sorry for those that feel sad with what they got.
I'm reuctant to say this, but whatever your religious persuasion, or not, the point of this custom is surely the grace of receiveing, not an cryptic message in the gift.
When I was very young, think, about 3 years old, I recall hearing a song called the little Drummer Boy. Basically, while so many have spent so much on the gifts they brought, this boy gave a recitation on his drum, because that was all he had.
OK, I know that is really soppy and none of us like to be reminded of lessons of childhood. But if I had had children I would make sure they heard and understood that song.
I just realized I usually get a big thing of Axe body spray for Xmas because I wore it a few times and wore the deodorant in like 8th grade through high school. I didn't care as long as it worked. Now my deodorant smells like strawberries :) lol But I didn't get the axe this year, maybe that's a good sign. :)
To be honest, mom and dad, I don't want to wear axe. Its something I'd like my bf to wear but not me haha
Re-gift or give away somehow, if you can't use it, someone can. Really for years people used to give me CDs, which is like buying someone who works in a candy store more candy. But I always found someone who would want it and listen to it. No blood, no foul.
Quote from: LilDoberman on January 04, 2011, 05:12:38 PM
Since the sizing is different, she must have known they were womens, I would think. Congrats :)
Oh, and my hubby got me all super girly stuff. Sweet of him, but uh, I don't wear pink anything nor anything with tassels :D
Omg...you're so right haha. Wow well that's awesome to realize. Yay
Quote from: spacepilot on January 05, 2011, 07:55:47 AM
Yes. I've been subtly coming out to my family for a while now and the last time I saw my mother I was more direct about some things and told her I didn't wear female-gendered clothing or makeup. I basically stopped a little while after I moved out of my house at 18-19 so it was about time I share haha. Even before then I wasn't particularly girly, just more female oriented in terms of fashion because that's what I had to work with. I had also continuously tried to talk to her about my dysphoria but at that time I didn't know what it was called or how to explain.
I should also say my mother and I don't get along at all and she is pretty much convinced that biological females have a chip imbedded in their skulls that makes them like the colour pink and lifetime television for women. That said, she bought me:
-a gift card to Sephora (a large makeup chain)
-a bottle of vanilla pefume
-a gift card to urban outfitters (this I liked actually. They have a fabulous mens section.)
I have another sephora gift card leftover from my birthday back in october that hasn't been used either. The only thing I've put on it is a pot of bronzer and eyebrow tint to help masculinize my face if I'm feeling particularly dysphoric.
Seriously, by the time I'm 30 I'll have a lifetime supply of dark eyebrows and cheekbones.
I'll take the gift cards!! :D
My family knows I don't wear make-up or stuff like that, so even before I start transitioning I never got really girly stuff (except when I was a kid).
I got non-gender gifts, like books, an iPad, flip flops...except for a bermuda shorts, which were pretty male!
Quote from: spacial on January 04, 2011, 08:59:36 AM
Does anyone else think that, presents of deoderants, bathing products and aftershave type of things are somewhat insulting?
Surely a present is suppose to represent something. These just tell you that you have poor personal hygine and stink.
Oh, thanks, if you think I stink you could have told me privately.
It always offends me to get bath sets because it's the thought that counts, and obviously no thought at all was put into that gift.
My aunt was the only one who got me a girly gift, and that was a pair of girls socks, but other than that everyone did really well. My best friend got me a new pair of DCs with a hat to match, that was my favorite gift.
For the first time ever, I didn't go home for Christmas and I got no presents. Also, my mom's wedding was on the first and I wasn't invited. Hooray, holidays? :-\
Edited for grammar.
I got some Uggs. I wouldn't call them "gender inappropriate", but they're not video games..
My aunt got me some cute knickknacks, but while feminine, they're gender neutral.
I brought myself a female shirt, and two male shirts. Turns out I brought the men's one the wrong size since it's my first time buying men's clothing, and it was a bit too big.
Quote from: pixiegirl on January 03, 2011, 05:57:18 PM
So what guns are Christians supposed to ask or then? :P
The Wolfwood Punisher Cross:
http://gigazine.jp/img/2009/07/27/wf2009_s_fire_cosplay/wf2009_s_fire_cosplay10.jpg (http://gigazine.jp/img/2009/07/27/wf2009_s_fire_cosplay/wf2009_s_fire_cosplay10.jpg)
I got plenty of "gender inappropriate" gifts, though nothing really feminine like jewelry; just some androgynous women's socks and a girl's hat. Luckily for me, I am a crossdresser and do not mind at all. And even if I did, the fact that the picture my sister put on the billboard she made said called me "The True King of Fashion" and that my brother wrote my real name on his present would make up for it. Altogether, my family was good about things over the holidays with the exception of my father who is still ignoring it in hopes that it will go away.
I mainly asked for money so that's mainly what I got.... but my dad did send me a very male hoodie. He claims its unisex, but it's so big and bulky and not my style at all. Too "tomboyish" for my tastes. lol.
Most of my family has always been good about getting me gifts I would like, even before I came out. However, I have one aunt who does a lot of "all the guys get this" and all the ladies get that" kinds of gifts. She also has some memory issues, so I got an odd mixture of "guy gifts" and "lady gifts" this year. On Christmas morning it was interesting trying to find ways of not making her feel bad about some of the gifts she had gotten when she had clearly forgotten about my transition.
*Opens a pretty little flowered mini jewelry box.* "Oh, hey! I can use this for ...ah ... packing tie tacks and cuff links when I travel. Thanks!"
Quote from: spacepilot on January 05, 2011, 07:55:47 AM
Yes. I've been subtly coming out to my family for a while now and the last time I saw my mother I was more direct about some things and told her I didn't wear female-gendered clothing or makeup. I basically stopped a little while after I moved out of my house at 18-19 so it was about time I share haha. Even before then I wasn't particularly girly, just more female oriented in terms of fashion because that's what I had to work with. I had also continuously tried to talk to her about my dysphoria but at that time I didn't know what it was called or how to explain.
I should also say my mother and I don't get along at all and she is pretty much convinced that biological females have a chip imbedded in their skulls that makes them like the colour pink and lifetime television for women. That said, she bought me:
-a gift card to Sephora (a large makeup chain)
-a bottle of vanilla pefume
-a gift card to urban outfitters (this I liked actually. They have a fabulous mens section.)
I have another sephora gift card leftover from my birthday back in october that hasn't been used either. The only thing I've put on it is a pot of bronzer and eyebrow tint to help masculinize my face if I'm feeling particularly dysphoric.
Seriously, by the time I'm 30 I'll have a lifetime supply of dark eyebrows and cheekbones.
i love sephora.... you do know sephora has a large mens section too right? colognes ect...