Pre transition and all growing up most my friends were guys. I just related to them better and got along with them better than girls. I found girls to be filled with drama and very two faced. Now that I am on Testosterone and identify as male I find that the majority of my friends are girls. I actually don't really care for men, I mean no offense to anybody but I fell that conversations with them lack depth and I can have much more serious fulfilling conversations with females. It also feels that a lot of guys are always in competition with each other, who has the biggest truck or can bench the most and quite honestly I don't need that kind of drama in my life. I tend to find females much more understanding and supportive and they are able to talk about their feelings. I don't know, perhaps it is me maturing and when I was younger i preferred hanging out with guys because I was immature and their immaturity was overlooked and now being older I gravitate towards females because I have matured and I tend to find them more mature and their company more satisfying, who knows. Just wondering if you guys hang with males of females and if this changed once you started transitioning and identifying as male.
While a great many people follow the gender stereotypes to a 't'(Heh), I don't really consider it any difficulty. I usually consider people's individuality before their gender because when someone comes up to you and is like...
"Hey you're a guy, can you tell me why this guy does what he does?" and I honestly couldn't tell them. Not because I'm not a guy, I am one, but because people are individuals and act out of their own individuality even when they're overcompensating. This person asking me this question should probably find someone who is a friend of that guy to figure things out instead of someone who simply belongs to the same gender.
Now there are stereotypes, but I'll address them when they come up, and usually... they work both ways for both genders! I just simply look at the nature of humans rather than gender.
I just prefer the company of women because I'm a flirt. I know guys who can have meaningful and empathetic conversations and women who are emotionally stunted.
Mine is a mix that is pretty equal and really always has been. I'm a flirt by nature with an odd personality so when I come across someone who gets my personality we click whether they are male or female. No real change, although since acknowledging that I am trans I've found that I have a lot more trans friends.
Most of my friends are girls. I've met a lot of people through the college dorm, girl scouts, etc, so it doesn't surprise me too much. I enjoy hanging around guys too, but it always feels like I'm the "girl" in the room. Hopefully this will change as I transition.
Quote from: Lee on January 10, 2011, 10:30:11 AM
Most of my friends are girls. I've met a lot of people through the college dorm, girl scouts, etc, so it doesn't surprise me too much. I enjoy hanging around guys too, but it always feels like I'm the "girl" in the room. Hopefully this will change as I transition.
This.
I used to be more with the guys, when I was in junior high, but in high school it started to change.
In college, most of my friends are girls. I have some male friends, good ones, but most of the time I'm surrounded by girls.
When I came out, my girl friends kinda started to treat me differently, like I don't belong to that circle anymore. It's weird, but I'm feeling the need to have more male friends. I'm not sure if it's working though.
Most of my friends are girls...but with a huge age difference...I tend to hang out with women who r anywhere from 20-40 years older then me...I find them to be more mature and more trustworthy...
Quote from: kody2011 on January 10, 2011, 12:55:15 PM
Most of my friends are girls...but with a huge age difference...I tend to hang out with women who r anywhere from 20-40 years older then me...I find them to be more mature and more trustworthy...
Unless you are already in your 30s or 40s, women who want to hang out with a boy (or girl if that's how you present) who is 20-40 years younger than they are for friendship are not actually mature people.
Only guy friends. I've never had any female friends, other than an acquaintance here or there. Not for lack of trying, but I was always awkward around them. And they tended not to like me. Even later as an adult. But now, girls are nice. It's weird. I still haven't developed any friendships with any (excluding on here :)) but maybe that will change.
Quote from: Sean on January 10, 2011, 01:04:07 PM
Unless you are already in your 30s or 40s, women who want to hang out with a boy (or girl if that's how you present) who is 20-40 years younger than they are for friendship are not actually mature people.
I think you assume a little too much with so little information given.
Quote from: Sean on January 10, 2011, 01:04:07 PM
Unless you are already in your 30s or 40s, women who want to hang out with a boy (or girl if that's how you present) who is 20-40 years younger than they are for friendship are not actually mature people.
Most of them are my cousins...and I act more like an old person then a young person. My definition of my friends is more of somebody to talk to. I don't really have "friends". I live in a little bitty town where we are all related and there isn't really people my age that stick around.
I've almost never gotten along with girls and that's only amplified over the years. The only girls out of my small group of friends are Lucy, one of my best friend's wife, and my girlfriend. I've always felt safer and more open around other guys.
I've had guy and girl friends. All of which are nerds who like video-games or are musicians...I really don't care about the gender as long as we have the same interests! ^_^
I grew up having almost all male friends. Im not on T yet, but right now my best friend is a female, and about half my guy friends are gay.
Quote from: Lee on January 10, 2011, 10:30:11 AM
Most of my friends are girls. I've met a lot of people through the college dorm, girl scouts, etc, so it doesn't surprise me too much. I enjoy hanging around guys too, but it always feels like I'm the "girl" in the room. Hopefully this will change as I transition.
I get that feeling too. Most of my friends and acquaintences are girls. I've been trying to socialize a bit more with men but there's not much opportunity to socialize where I live and I still feel very very awkward talking to guys. Oddly, before puberty, almost all of my friends were boys.
I'm with Rini on this. Male/Female about 50% each. About 95% of them are nerds though!
Except for a year in middle school, my friends have ALWAYS been mainly guys, I have friends that are girls, but my close friends are all guys. I spend the most time with my girlfriend though because we live together.
My friends have always been guys (for the most part), but now I'm able to get along with both equally well. I've been talking to more girls than guys lately, though, probably because I feel awkward around guys because they see me as a 'girl' and I have to watch not to come off as too "crude" around them and I can't be very feminine around them (which is a big problem, given my personality). I can be more me with girls because I'm very flamboyant in everything I do and they don't really care. Granted I haven't started T yet, but I doubt it's really going to change.
Guys for me are just so much easier to fall into. Basically you just walk up to them and start talking and suddenly you are just part of the gang. Simple, straight forward, belching, bragging, flexing and jokes about balls. Fantastic and so completely stress free.
Girls have always regarded me with a degree of polite distrust and that doesn't work so well. I don't know what to do with them honestly with their make-up and silly little concerns. I just can't relate very well to them at all. I wish I knew the secret to get into them but that's not fore-coming.
honestly I dont really have many friends, but I prefer to hang out with other guys, but I do have girl friends. I generally dont like girls though, I find them annoying. Some kinds of guys are annoying too, but generally they annoy me less then girls annoy me, i usually just end up making fun of girls when I see them, they seem so alien to me. maybe its a gay thing.
I've always had more guy friends than girl friends. I just don't have much in common with most girls, so we tend to have nothing to talk about, and when I'm in a group of girls, I feel like a total outsider, like I don't belong at all. I find it a lot easier to talk to guys because we tend to find the same things interesting, and I've been lucky that I'm usually accepted as one of the guys without issue. But I've been friends with a few girls who don't fit the stereotype, and I've also always had friends who can't really be defined as boys or girls.
I'd have to say that growing up a majority of my friends were male but I did have female friends...
Now though, I find I have a lot of female friends. I do have quite a few male friends though. For me its more about personality :D
I think its about half and half.
It almost always has been.
When I was in high school I had a healthy mix of male and female friends, but I found that I got along much better with those who acted in a more masculine/non-gendered way. I really didn't "get" girly girls and found many of them to be shallow and uninteresting, but maybe that is just because much of the time the girly behaviours immediately annoyed me so I never gave them a chance. But I also have a tough time in the presence of really manly men (hot-headed, hyper masculine, farting, loud, rude). I guess I just really dislike the gender extremes and prefer people who are more in the middle.
Currently nearly all of the friends I see on a semi-regular basis are men. My friends are in that age group where being in mixed company (men and women together) tend to cause issues. Men compete for attention of the ladies, ladies get jealous of the attention other girls are getting, and I get stuck with people being unsure what to feel about me, but me getting irritated and depressed that I tend to become ignored.
Always had more guy mates than females. It's still very much the same. Although my best and closest mate is female, she rocks!
Growing up, I was friends with mostly guys. But really, I would be friends with anyone who wanted to be friends with me. I was like that until a year ago when I got all insane and decided that I can't be friends with new people unless they know absolutely nothing about me other than the music that I like. lol So now I have 1 female friend and 1 male friend. I'm starting to become friends with another girl who I lost contact with for a while though.