Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Everyone on January 15, 2011, 03:21:24 AM

Title: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Everyone on January 15, 2011, 03:21:24 AM
Sorry that I keep posting name things lol

I've been looking through names a lot, and none of them really fit. My real name is unisex and doesn't really bother me with the way it sounds, but it doesn't fit either. I've discovered the reason why no names fit is because I feel like I shouldn't have a name at all. I have no idea why I feel like that XD Is it a common feeling? I would like to know how to reverse the feeling so that maybe I can find a name for myself. I can't be nameless my whole life, even though that thought does sound oddly nice. lol
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: LordKAT on January 15, 2011, 03:30:11 AM
Name is just a label so others know how to get your attention. Hey you is just  tad too generic.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Lord of the Dance on January 15, 2011, 03:41:39 AM
Hahaha, can't say I don't feel like I shouldn't have a name at all, but I completely sympathise with you on the "nothing suits me!" front. Personally, I think I'm just too worried about finding a name that really fits me; most people, when finding a name for a new baby, have no predefined conceptions of this person, they don't yet know them, so they can just pick a name that they really like and the child kind of grows into it (if that makes sense). For trans people (and anybody changing their name, really) I think that there's a lot of worry and stress about finding one that suits them, the way they look, personality etc. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I kind of feel like I'm going to be heavily judged for my choice of name... so I need to pick one that kind of appeases the whole planet rather than going for one that I like!

I have no idea if any of that made sense, I'm just kind of waffling! Sorry it doesn't go much way to solving your problem... it's probably not much help, but after an extended period of using a name, you (and everybody else) WILL get used to it. You shouldn't rush yourself at all, naming is an important process and you take as much time as you need to find something you feel you can live with comfortably. A name is for life, not just for Christmas ;]

Have you tried using any of those baby name generators that are floating around online? I've had some really awful suggestions come out of them, but they might be able to give you some inspiration :] I can't post links, but if you google "baby name generator" there are quite a few that come up! Best of luck to you! :)
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Lee on January 15, 2011, 03:46:33 AM
I can see why you would stress about it.  People associate you with your name, so it represents you.  I know some people on here who said they just had people (friends/family) shout out names until something felt right.  The good news is that you have the rest of your life to decide.  :)
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Darth_Taco on January 15, 2011, 04:19:09 AM
I don't think there's a perfect name for me XP. I originally wanted to legally change my name to "Taco", but my boyfriend threated to smack me :'P. He said it was too stupid and racist ;_; (I'm Mexican). So yeah, we settled on Raphael. Its suppose to be Hebrew for "God has healed" (and it's the name of one of the Ninja Turtles >.>...<.<...>.>...)
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: PixieBoy on January 15, 2011, 04:44:49 AM
Raphael was also a rennaisance artist. So that would work too, when you wanna seem more classy (finding famous people who share your name, yay!).

My name means "God is Jahve", which is actually a pretty funny name for an atheist.
My old name meant "Green", a reference to a gemstone.

I feel like Elias really suits me, though, so can't really recognize your feeling. Not having a name would be very inconvenient. People would have to call you "Green t-shirt kid" and stuff like that. You could make sure to always wear something very eye-catching, so you'd always be known as "Pink hair" or "Rainbow glasses" or whatever.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: xAndrewx on January 15, 2011, 04:53:21 AM
I personally don't feel that way but my friends probably do considering I've nicknamed them all and don't call them their real names. That sounds like it could get very complicated though
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Nikolai_S on January 15, 2011, 03:25:30 PM
I kind of feel like I should have many more names than I do. Different facets of my personality, and all. No one name fits me perfectly... plus I'm synaesthetic, so my associations with different names are really, really strong. I might like the sound of a name, but I can't be blue! But I still have blue days. Or I like the look, but it's too tinny most days. Still, I wish I could be Nikolai Sebastian Tristan Alan Dmitri Alastair Kieran Vitaliy Ashford Viktor Jordan Niles ___ and still fit my name on forms. At times I hated the name choosing process because it felt like I was labelling and confining myself. So I can sympathise somewhat.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Marcelo Caetano on January 15, 2011, 06:51:55 PM
Sorry, I can't share the feeling.
I found the perfect name. It really represents who I am, and I LOVE the way it sound when someone say it! ;)
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Aikotribs on January 15, 2011, 07:30:53 PM
Quote from: PixieBoy on January 15, 2011, 04:44:49 AM

My name means "God is Jahve", which is actually a pretty funny name for an atheist.


tehehe XD 
my dreadful B-name apparently means 'goddess'
... I'm not religious and I'm not a women , its like hitting the jackpot of 'wrong'.


Can't really share the feeling, my parents still call me my B-name but she feels fake, I do have an idea of a name I want but I feel uncertain (thanks to my dad ). Meanwhile I dislike having the feeling that my true self has no nametag. At least not to other people but me.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: KrisRenee on January 15, 2011, 08:34:14 PM
I completely share the feeling.  It's one of those things where you're identy is poking it's nose where it shouldn't.  In my case, i keep thinking, i don't know who i am so why should i have a name that represents nothing.  Now, i'm getting better, and i have decided on a name.  I think it just takes time to find yourself before you can find the name that is you.
kris
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Sharky on January 15, 2011, 08:49:35 PM
Can't say I relate. A name gives you identity rather than just being person #6,893,782,949.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Everyone on January 15, 2011, 09:23:52 PM
Quote from: KrisRenee on January 15, 2011, 08:34:14 PM
I completely share the feeling.  It's one of those things where you're identy is poking it's nose where it shouldn't.  In my case, i keep thinking, i don't know who i am so why should i have a name that represents nothing.  Now, i'm getting better, and i have decided on a name.  I think it just takes time to find yourself before you can find the name that is you.
kris

I'm so glad that someone else shares the feeling. I was beginning to wonder if I was insane lol I wish I knew why I don't feel like I should have a name. :( Oh well, I'm just happy that I'm not alone. =] Thanks for your help.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: owl on January 16, 2011, 04:48:21 AM
I can relate.
I feel like Damian doesn't fit me, for a long time i thought it was the name for me, and i still do, but for some odd reason, it sounds foriegn to me when people call out my name. But my birthname also does not feel like it suits me..AT ALL
I already changed my name legally to Damian, but i also have depersonalization, where pretty much everything looks and sounds different to me. i may have this problem the rest of my life. but i chose the name damian about four years ago and it kind of stuck with me ever since, no other name has.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Silver on January 16, 2011, 05:08:00 AM
Not really, I just don't think the name means all that much.

I just don't like it carrying female connotations. As long as that's satisfied, most names will do. I suppose I think of myself as a person with a name, rather than identifying with the name. And I don't think that's strange at all.

Just don't pick something that might embarrass you down the line and you're good to go. Or leave your name; you said it's unisex so you'll save yourself a good $500 (well, depending on where you live.)
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: spacial on January 16, 2011, 05:11:34 AM
Perhaps, part of the problem is, you're trying too hard to come up with a name that makes a statement.

Can you go for a plain name that just says it's you?

John, Jack, Bill, Jim? or somthing along those lines?
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Everyone on January 16, 2011, 05:17:25 PM
Quote from: Damian on January 16, 2011, 04:48:21 AM
I can relate.
I feel like Damian doesn't fit me, for a long time i thought it was the name for me, and i still do, but for some odd reason, it sounds foriegn to me when people call out my name. But my birthname also does not feel like it suits me..AT ALL
I already changed my name legally to Damian, but i also have depersonalization, where pretty much everything looks and sounds different to me. i may have this problem the rest of my life. but i chose the name damian about four years ago and it kind of stuck with me ever since, no other name has.

I have depersonalization too, so maybe thats why names don't sound right to me. It never even occurred to me that depersonalization could be the reason for that XD So I guess if that's the reason it will be something that I'll probably never get over. lol
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: GnomeKid on January 16, 2011, 10:44:23 PM
Nope. 
I felt that my old name could still apply, but I never thought to be nameless.

I read a book once where the main character's name was "boy" because he had no parents and had been taken in by a magician who never gave him a name... you could do that =p

Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Troy58 on January 17, 2011, 10:34:54 PM
I understand what you mean. I've never liked my dreaded birth-name, and I spent every night for a good ten years thinking of names that would fit me. I was ready to give up when I heard the name Gregg, and I love the name. Don't give up, dude! You'll find your name eventually. Or you could do what GnomeKid thought of ^-^
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: xxUltraModLadyxx on January 28, 2011, 01:09:05 PM
i used to feel like that a few years ago when i was pretty depressed. i didn't feel interested in a female name or really too much about anything. i just knew i wasn't a male and that was it. i probably would've said "whatever just call me mary or susan." just some common female name that was easy, but now i'm enjoying the transition.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Sly on January 28, 2011, 09:18:03 PM
I recommend Behind the Name as a good site.  You can look up names by meaning to find something that suits you.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: xxUltraModLadyxx on January 28, 2011, 10:57:02 PM
Quote from: Sylvester on January 28, 2011, 09:18:03 PM
I recommend Behind the Name as a good site.  You can look up names by meaning to find something that suits you.

i chose my name. the way i chose my name was by my taste in names mostly. my taste in names are the more rare beautiful sounding names. the name i chose "maylene." somehow i feel like that's the one name for me.
Title: Re: Does anyone else here feel like they shouldn't have a name at all?
Post by: Kaden on January 29, 2011, 01:24:55 AM
Quote from: Marcelo Caetano on January 15, 2011, 06:51:55 PM
Sorry, I can't share the feeling.
I found the perfect name. It really represents who I am, and I LOVE the way it sound when someone say it! ;)

Amen! After being mistakenly given a girl's name at birth that I refuse to tell people now because it was never me, and buying into the "a rose by any other name..." stuff, I'm now blissfully in love with my new chosen name because it encapsulates me.