Has anyone else felt like this? Explanation?
I've been on E and S for a little over two months and I find that the things that made me feel "girly" before aren't necessary. Specifically I haven't felt the need to wear any girly clothes. It used to get me in the mood when my wife would "talk to me like a woman" but, while it make me feel good and/or accepted, it also feels unnecessary. (confusing the hell out of her *grin*)
The hormones have just left me feeling content with things. I mull around the house in boy jeans and t-shirts and really don't think much about it, unlike before.
I don't know if it is the chemicals impact on my brain or the fact they are giving me little girly bumps I can feel through my clothes.
Not complaining in the least bit. It's nice not to have to feel out of place in your life.
-M
Hmm. Are you certain that 'girly' isn't directly equated with 'sexy' in your mind? From your post, it would seem that way.
A drop in libido (due to hormones) would then negate the 'girly' (sexy) feelings.
Quote from: Vexing on January 16, 2011, 12:05:05 PM
Are you certain that 'girly' isn't directly equated with 'sexy' in your mind?
Hmm. That really got me thinking because yes I have felt the drop in libido. But, I never really felt sexy dressing. It just made me feel, a little bit more complete. I guess the hormones filled in that gap for me. Making me feel more complete and not as much of a need for dressing. I don't know. That's my guess. It's all new to me.
-M
I see; I guess I misinterpreted the 'gets me in the mood' comment :)
I always feel feminine even if I am wearing a top and jeans. The clothes only make me feel a certain way when I am trying to look sexy. It is then that I feel all girlly and sexy.
I do have to say I initially had the same thought as Vexing.
To be a woman is not necessarily going to be exciting. In fact I associate being female with a level of serene and unruffled inner calm. It is indeed to be able to wear anything and just feel "right". To feel an inner content with yourself and to some extent your place in the world.
That's my experience anyway. And for the last nearly 30 years it has been wonderful!
Quote from: rejennyrated on January 16, 2011, 01:26:56 PM
In fact I associate being female with a level of serene and unruffled inner calm.
I must say, two months on from SRS, I have this new core of calm and 'balance'. It's something I neither expected nor wanted, but now that I have it, I don't want to live without it.
I mean, just yesterday someone threw some incredibly heinous insults at me; I dealt with it calmly and relatively dispassionately. 6 months ago I would have RAGED, retaliated and verbally torn them a new one.
I have to say that when I read your post I thought that you are possibly a Transvestite and not Transgender. I am not trying to say that is what you are but it was my initial reaction.
Wearing the correct clothing should be a normal thing to you. Looking nice gives you a good feeling. Dressing up and going out is a nice feeling. But I always feel 'girly' even when I am doing the cleaning and dressed in cleaning clothes.
I've never really been able to work out what 'feeling like a woman', 'feeling feminine' or even 'feeling like a man are?
I only know what I feel like and that's it really, who am I to say that is feminine or masculine. What hrt is doing for me is balancing out my emotions and slowly working on the disconnect between how I see myself and what I see in the mirror and generally I think that I am a lot more comfortable with myself than I was.
I never did get much comfort from clothing so it's a bit alien to me but if it did help you with dysphoric feelings then I can see how this might become less important over time.
Quote from: rejennyrated on January 16, 2011, 01:26:56 PMIn fact I associate being female with a level of serene and unruffled inner calm.
Since I'm still pre-hormones, dressing does give me that, because it allows me to
be Colleen, which I really can't when I'm in boy-mode (most of the time). As many here will know, I'm going through separation right now, and I'm quite weepy most of the time. But today I went to a friend's house for lunch, and spent a good part of the afternoon as Colleen, and the whole time, I was just having lunch and chat with the girls, and even though we were talking about what I'm going through, I didn't feel at all like breaking down. I felt strong and able to handle it all. It's only when I changed back into guy mode that I once again started to lose it. So I guess I get what Jenny is referring to.
Yes, it might be a little bit of the hormones. However,
I found that I didn't have to prove to myself I was a woman by dressing like one. Sure it helps, but you have to think that you are beginning such a wonderful journey and it's like YOU finding more of YOU (with the help of HRT)!
Now that you are getting closer to that, you might not feel like clothing has to validate you being a woman. I dress in jeans and a t-shirt and I still feel like a woman. There are times when I want to dress sexy for my spouse, but it isn't like before where I NEEDED to dress to feel girlie.
The feelings of femininity are internal and come from within, hence the term feelings... The props and costuming are a manifestation of those feelings
As I became more aware, understanding and accepting of these feelings I began to be more interested in wearing what was comfortable to me as a woman and the props lost their necessity
Sure, I still love my dresses and have my fav. girly things but they are not what makes me who I am or dictate how I feel
I'm just as much a woman in jeans and a tee shirt with no make up as I am in a dolled up dressed to the nines goin' out on the town outfit
sounds to me that the hormones are making you feel like MORE of a woman, and therefore you don't feel like you have to do all of those things to feel womanly.
Quote from: rejennyrated on January 16, 2011, 01:26:56 PM
I do have to say I initially had the same thought as Vexing.
To be a woman is not necessarily going to be exciting. In fact I associate being female with a level of serene and unruffled inner calm. It is indeed to be able to wear anything and just feel "right". To feel an inner content with yourself and to some extent your place in the world.
That's my experience anyway. And for the last nearly 30 years it has been wonderful!
that's true. being a woman itself really isn't that exciting. the only things that might be exciting or fun that i couldn't do before would be shopping for women's clothes, wearing makeup, and accessorizing, or seeing myself change on hrt. the only other benefits i really reap from it are that i feel right, at peace, calm.
I wear jeans and tees all the time! I LURVE them =)
Then again i still have cute top + skirt days too ;)
Hum, I'm thinking this might be a good thing to discuss with your therapist. HRT is the recommended medication for a host of transgender conditions besides transsexualism. I am a bigender androgyne and have been on a full transition level regimen for over a year to control my GD. Shrug. For some reason I just need more estrogen pumping through my veins than a squad of teenage cheerleaders to feel like a guy...
Interesting topic, I remember having a conversation about this after I had been on hormones for about eight months with a good friend.
In my case I was out as a woman to work, family and friends at this time. Basically the conclusion that came out of that discussion was the mental shift of wondering what or who I would be as a person on hormones to the point of attempting to normalise my life on hormones.
Not that everything in my life was normal and I guess the feeling of 'I feel less like a woman' after being on hormones had to do with trying to understand who I was and what I wanted out of the world. Reality and dreams often turn out to be quite different.
As another poster suggested perhaps talk to your therapist (and partner) about it, hormones do change the way you think IMHO.
Quote from: Catherine on January 16, 2011, 02:26:51 PM
I have to say that when I read your post I thought that you are possibly a Transvestite and not Transgender.
I thought a cross dresser was part of the TG community. I personally know many variations of TG.
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I found e-hormones make me feel better. I will take them for the rest of my days. However, I am the same person.
I like pretty clothes but if I had a choice of the hormones or pretty clothes I would pick the hormones.
My libido on E is gone. My endo asked me, "How is your libido?" I replied, "What is libido?" She replied, "Well we can give you a T shot." I replied, "I think I'll live without libido." She smiled.
for me, the hormones have changed my body enough so that i am more confident going through life. I am finding it easier to just breeze and more often too. The spiritual essence of me is in tune with my body. NO longer do I live in a prison,,,I am very thankful I have been on hormones for 14 months now. I get a shot im every montyh by my dr.....