A week or so, ago. I posted a post about what should they call me now? Dad, Mom, partner or .....
I got allot of good advice, I just wish I put it to good use, a little quicker. As luck would have it. My daughter who is still living at home met a boy on "my yearbook" . The boy lived local so they set up a date to meet. Patty and I were going to breakfast that morning so we invited them to join us. I thought under the circumstances I would just take on the roll as a friend of the family. Since I pass fairly well and we don't know this boy and may not know him after this first meeting, I thought this would be OK.
We sat down at the restaurant and our daughter and her new friend joined us a few minutes later. The initial meeting went well. We ordered and made small talk. After a little while we started to get comfortable with each other and the conversation got interesting. First it was me that slipped up then it was Patty. Then we both found ourselves engaged in a conversation about "when "our" daughter was born and what she did when she was a baby". It was quite funny. All the while our daughter snickering every time we blew it, and we blew it allot. We finished our breakfast and left the kids at the restaurant. As soon as Patty and I got far enough away we couldn't help but to break out in laughter. :laugh:
So I guess "friend of the family" was a bad idea!! What was I thinking? We been married 29 years. I think that will be impossible to hide. So I think we are not going to hide it . :)
Hugs, Roxy
Great story, and I think you're wonderful.
P.S. So is Mrs. Erocse...
You and Patty just don't seem like the dishonest type, frankly.
But really pleased it went well. Hopefully, next time you'll have some more confidence in yourself Roxy.
Hugs to Patty
I still say "Other Parent" or "Other Mom".
<GRIN>
Quote from: spacial on January 24, 2011, 07:16:11 PM
You and Patty just don't seem like the dishonest type, frankly.
Yuhp! The poor boy must be so confused.
I won't lie, you made me giggle a little. I doubt there is a dishonest bone between the two of you. I am glad you could laugh it off though, and your daughter as well.
Hugs,
Jacquelyn
:D
Well you tried.
<thanks for the giggle...>
Well I'm glad you two aren't going to hide or feel like you have to. :)
Hehe, that's pretty funny. What I find most charming is how your daughter seemed to take it in stride. If she is so cool about it I wonder why you would not just say you're her dad?
I should have said it made me laugh as well. Poor boy. It would have been good to be a fly on the wall.
lol funny story...
Frankly, I enjoy making things as awkward as possible :) Good job on that one!! teehee
It's only awkward if you make it awkward. :laugh: A fun rule to live life by. Erocse, that was both inspiring and tear-jerking hilarious.
Yes, you are learning that living authentically is much more comfortable than going from one closet into another.
There is no embarrassment in being authentic. The nomenclature of the english language, however, has very few adjectives to adequately describe our situation. Actually none.
Yes, your daughters friend head may have spun around a bit, but he will get it or not.
Simply presenting yourself as her "parent" covers all the bases. And if someone questions the same sex arrangement, then you can go into details. Otherwise they can draw their own conclusions.
For me, I don't wear a sign around my neck that says "TRANSSEXUAL!!!". I simply live my life as it is. And if my background or experience is germane to the situation I go into it.
I think you did quite well.
I am reminded of the discussions about the emergence of the electronic synthesizer from decades past. Prominent in that discussion was the participation of Wendy Carlos. She had worked closely with Robert Moog, the developer of the Moog synthesizer, and whose architecture framed all other synthesizers since. Wendy used Moog's equipment in her creation of the most popular classical music record of all time "Switched on Bach" Though it was originally published under the name of Walter Carlos. During that period Wendy was also in the early stages of transition, it quite a difficult time for her.
In the discussion of that time, Bob Moog talked about the influence that Wendy had on his efforts and how the two of them worked together to design and modify Moog's equipment for her work.
He would say things like; "Well, Wendy would come to me and say can you make it do this..."
He didn't say "Well, Wendy (back when (s)he was Walter and while (s)he was starting to take hormones and experimenting with dressing in public and going through that awful time in the 70's when being transsexual was such a hard time for trying to transition), (s)he would come to me and say can you make it do this..."
The history of electronic music synthesis had nothing to do with a persons gender and simply not germane to the discussion.
Yes, don't hide, be authentic. I'm proud of you all! It sounds like you actually got a bit of a giggle out of it too. :D
-Sandy
As I think I said in the other thread you and Patty are partners, and as far as the children are concerned you are both their parents.
That you happen to both be socially female should not, in 2011, be the cause of anything more than mild curiosity and if you get someone who wants to make an issue of it I would honestly let them know that it is entirely their problem and not yours.