As i am planning my next go out, enfemme, (Yes I am still a beginner, and still veru shy and feeling the butterflies inside for those who live enfemme 24/7 or are in a higher level and probably will find this topic boring.)
I am debating on either go to crowded and open busy places well dressed and with a nice face wake up, and try to walk around or go (again) to lonely places where is just me walking around like a freak with no purpose,
this is a very nice feeling but a frustrating sensation at the same time, i dream a lot on my self going out with my heels but in mane mode as i prefer to live a life as a man, and most of the time cannot go to bed easily since i keep thinking over and over about how to plan and what to wear, which route to take and what to do when i will go out next time, etc.
Accordimng to you, which are the best places to go out dressed up? for guys in level 1, malls, grocery stores, airport, parks, banks.... and why?
DO NOT GO TO ISOLATED PLACES. Sorry for shouting, you are in danger in isolated places. All woman are.
OK, are there any Gay friendly bars, clubs where you live? They are usually safe, as they tend to be tolerant. Is there a TG club in your area, check on the internet, they are totally safe and you will meet girls who have transitioned and are willing to help. Are there other GID people in your area? Ask on Susan's, it's easier with a friend.
If none of the above go shopping. Go to a mall and shop for clothes, girls do it all the time without buying anything just looking. If you do so don't overdress or over makeup. Look around at what woman your age are wearing in such places and copy them. Shops are usually no problem at all. They want your money. Full stop. I have been outed once at one store, she was fired. Be respectful, ask for the change rooms if you want to try something on.
Try and relax and be confident. :laugh: I know how easy that was the first time :laugh:. If you have a relative, or friend to go with it helps, the first time.
The other really good places for first timers are the movies, museums, art gallery's. These are places were people take no notice of each other. When walking around never look for eye contact. Woman don't in general, unless they want to flirt with a guy, and it is probably too early for that. Ignore comments, if there are any. You have as much right as any one else to be out and about. If you go out at night alone, tell a friend and call them when you get back home (another reason to have female friends if you can).
Sorry if I have frightened you. But go and do it. You will be surprised how easy it has and how much fun it is and totally life changing. Once out the first time, there is no way of putting the girl back in the hiding place. And more you do it, the less people notice. I did my supermarket shopping yesterday in shorts, a T, beaut thongy/ shoes showing my polished toes. Make up ( I need a little to hide defects), the check out girls chatted and I chatted back, the deli boys and girls chatted and we had a few jokes. Everything was fine.
One thing I have noticed is the friendly you are the more acceptance you get. I think it is a people thing. If you are a nice person to be with you are remembered as a nice person to be around. The guy who pushed my trolley to the car I had been chatting the previous week about going to the movies with his girl and I asked how it went, I had asked him the previous Sat what was he doing that night (No it was not a pick up line), so we had a talk about the movie and how expensive pop-corn is, and best place for coffee after etc. Final words, see you next week Cindy.
They know I'm "TG" hate that expression. My voice gives me away immediately, I sound as feminine as a jack-hammer. But they also know I'm a normal human, and they treat me as one, and I think I get a bit of special treatment and support.
So Veronica. After all that. Go and enjoy and be safe.
And no my darling, girls who are 24/7 had whatever and look whatever at Susan's have no problems with helping people who aren't. I think the wrath of Susan would fall quickly on any Mod who didn't help out; and the wrath of Mods will fall on any members who were not supportive.
Take Care and let me know how it goes.
If you need more advice I'm sure other girls will be posting
Cindy
I really have to agree with Cindy.
But can I suggest something? Is the reason you are aprehensive of going into a public place is, in case, someone clocks you, 'Hey Everyone, there's a guy is a dress!'? Then loads of people will gather round and you will be utterly humiliated?
Won't happen. Believe me, it won't. Because every person who's walking down the same road, is far too concerned with their own problems to be worried about you.
Gay bars are OK. But is that what you actually want? Or do you want to just walk around, quite normally, wearing something that makes you feel comfortable?
Think about some place in town, where you can go for a purpose. Get yourself ready and go. Then come back home.
I've noticed, with people who are aprehensive in social situations, for whatever reason, the biggest mistake they make is establishing eye contact with people. Eye contact is very close communication. In humans and other animals. Once you've established eye contact, you' reveal your vulnerabilities. Since you're anxious anyway, that is going to send you into a spiral of panic.
Think about many celebratories who wear dark glasses. Roy Orbison was a man with a very passinate soul. Elton John, while not wearing dark glasses, did have a habit of wearing rather noticable frames.
I doubt most of these people would ever admit it, but they each using their glasses as shields to prevent eye contact.
So, find a purpose to go out and avoid eye contact. If you bump into someone you know, smile like you would normally and talk the same. If you can muster the confidence, say to them, 'Hi, What are you wearing? It looks nice!'.
That should break the ice.
Go to the mall, that's where I go. Head for the D&G stuff, Coach purses, makeup places, shoes. People working those sections are sometimes on commission and are, well, forced to deal with you... Shoe sections are a great place to go, since people are lookin' at shoes and not you. Shoes are awesome. Remain calm and take your time.
AaaaAnd don't go in looking like a super model if you don't want to get stared at, unless that's your thing, (I may not think quite along a crossdreser's mind, I apologize if I confuse or offend).
Good luck!
Those lonely places? No, no, no, nyet! Unless you live in a VERY safe place.
Honestly, I'd go take in a movie or go shopping - either one and you should be good :)
Me, I tend to do my dressing at live-action roleplaying games (yes, I am a geek in that respect) - most all of the peeps there know me in drab, so my showing up otherwise doesn't faze them.
Although there was one line I did like - "Who's that?" "Larry" *jaw drop, unintelligble garbling, shuffling away uncomfortably*
Yep - one of the gamers I knew for years who didn't know that I occasionally swapped genders, apparently checking me out, or so my wife says ;)
Meh, rambling too much, but here's the meat of it.
Go out.
Go out with the crowd.
HAVE FUN DAMMIT - if you get clocked, they aren't gonna shout it to the heavens!
Good luck Veronica with whatever you decide to do. I too am very much at the beginner stage and am thinking about my first trip out.
I like the idea of going to the cinema, but I don't think I'd go shopping on my first outing - I live in Poland where customer service is not... well is not.
I live fairly close to a park and was thinking about a trip there to take some photos of the pretty winter scenery tomorrow.... I'm fairly cerrtain I'll chicken out, but perhaps will compromise with some make-up and women's trousers rather than a skirt. My biggest concern is that I have no shoes/boots to match my look and I do like to accessorise :)
Take care and let us know how it goes!
I need to give some updtaes on this thread for me not to reopen another and get lost, ....I finnally did it on MArch please read the whole adventure at : https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,97244.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,97244.0.html)
And then i did a second outing, which i am posting in the same thread describing my outings in Asia.
When I will go out in America i will open one with such subject and the same if i do in australia or Europe etc,
At first i have to say that i lost the terror and the nerves of going out enfemme, looking at me with heels, hose, skirt over the knee and fully make up, i realized that my image is not very familiar to my man look at all, i cannot recognize my self either when looking at my pics, so i built confidence, exactly as Cindy and others suggested.
And also exactly as the others said over and over, once you pass the barrier you can hardly stop, and you start to be more creative, the point is where you get out from the train, I enjoy each moment that i am dressed up, and built the guts to look at the eyes of people without a doubt, i think i built the confidence too fast, i am only scared to be bored soon and not finding crossdressing something to satisfy my anxiety.
Funny to say that when i go over the first post of this thread i see my self as another person, now im another different one. make me feel that i accomplished something and dare to do anything in life.