Let me preface this by saying I am not "hating" on the younger guys at all here! I wish I would have been confident and self-aware enough to do this in my teens/early 20s! :)
I am 28 going on 29 and am still pre-everything. When I look around it seems like there aren't any guys my age that are still at this stage in their transition. While I think one can learn from people of any age my life/relationship/family issues aren't necessarily the same as a 20 year-old. So I guess my question is where are the over 25 guys that couldn't or didn't think they needed to transition in their teens/early 20s? Also do those guys my age sometimes feel they are too old to participate in the FTM community at large?
Makes you feel any better I am 39 ... and have just started ... I have had only one therapy apt. I think I would be alot further along if my wife wasn't struggling with it so much.
I feel your pain & can relate. I know there is some more ftm's on this board who are older.
There are quite a number of us FTMs transitioning over the age of 25 on these forums. That's one thing I like about Susan's.
I don't feel too old to participate in the forum. I do find that there are many things I can't relate to or where I don't have any advice to give, though.
One thing I think you'll find is that a lot of older guys don't really feel a need for the forum for very long. People come online to get information and support when they are first starting to transition. Things often can move fairly quickly for transition when you are over a certain age. And then a lot of FTMs just move on.
I think - on the whole - the online forums have a lot more teens and young guys because they can't transition yet, have to struggle with transitioning in school, and have to deal with living with parents who aren't always supportive.
I'm 45 and just starting the transition process. I've started seeing a therapist and have talked to a doctor about hormones but have not received the required letter yet to start on T. I too wish I could have started this process when I was in my 20's but I'm not all that sure that it would have turned out good. The reason I say this is because I have discovered things and have had to overcome things that I didn't know about when I was in my 20's.
Troy
getting too close to fifty and been HRT for 1.5 years. Plenty of older people around
Thanks for all the input guys! Glad to see you are out there.
@Sean- I understand that many people move away from forums etc. "post-transition" because they don't feel like they need the information/support anymore. It would just be nice to hear from the guys that are living their lives after going through surgery/T. For me I care less about the physical changes(hearing about them anyway!) but, the dating/family/partner/workplace interactions.
@Rob- I really hope things get better with your wife. Maybe if she seeks therapy as well that might help open the lines of communication about what you need.
I'm turning 28 this Sat and I don't feel too old to participate.
I see older guys around here. I, however, don't see a lot of older guys on youtube.
I just wasn't ready in my early 20's to start transition. I had a kid at 20 and bought a house at 23 so everything kind of got put on the back burner for awhile.
I understand what you mean, but I think that a lot of the dating, life, work, etc. stuff post-transition isn't the kind of thing people would come here for. Most of the ups and downs of it are just being a guy, not really being an FTM.
i'm soon turning 30 and the possibility of transitioning escaped me until very recently.... but i'm kinda 12 mentally most of the time, so maybe i don't count ;D
I'm in my early thirties...still pre-everything. Even after I transition, I plan on sticking around the forums for awhile.
I'm 38 and tho i do come here a fair bit i find that life is just life sometimes- something to be got on with.
I'm 58,
Get real boys
Life stops when the brain stops.
Cindy
Quote from: CindyJames on February 02, 2011, 04:18:21 AM
I'm 58,
Get real boys
Life stops when the brain stops.
Cindy
wow i didn't think you were older than me.. your doing great.. wow
Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on February 02, 2011, 05:47:17 AM
wow i didn't think you were older than me.. your doing great.. wow
Thanks, I think? And what age care facility are you in?
Thanks message meant as a joke. Take care a crumbly Cindy.
Cindy
I'm 30 and won't be starting T for a couple of months. There are a lot of older guys around the online FtM community, age just isn't the most obvious thing to determine unless disclosed.
Let's face it, most of us will go through the "looking 15" stage once we start transitioning anyway :D
Is that good or bad?
I know a lot of guys hating looking like teens, but the guys I have met look really good on T. Hit the gym when on T you build muscle quickly and get the V shape. And there is nothing wrong in looking young and handsome :embarrassed:
Cindy, old and ugly
Quote from: CindyJames on February 02, 2011, 07:55:55 AM
Is that good or bad?
Just is. I'd rather be read as a male than female, if it must be in the form of a prepubescent teen I guess I just have to take it ;D
It does tend to pass kinda quick for many, and bulking up sure does help.
Quote from: CindyJames on February 02, 2011, 07:55:55 AM
Is that good or bad?
Usually, it doesn't matter one way or the other.
When it does matter, though, it's almost always bad:
1) Not looking the right age means some guys take a lot longer to pass. There are some contexts in which there wouldn't be teenage boys at all.
2) Looking too young for your career may hurt you professionally, because people don't take you seriously.
3) Looking too young means people ask for your ID more often, which outs guys who haven't changed their ID yet.
4) People in relationships with same age SOs often have more trouble navigating societies expectations about ages of dating couples. Most laugh it up, but I've heard some guys have partners who were uncomfortable with it.
5) Looking like a teenage boy and being a parent can be challenging.
6) Looking too young means you often can't get appropriate customer service, particularly for big ticket or "adult" type of things (I mean adult as in the clothing, cars, etc. category - not the *other* meaning of adult - haha).
I've heard a number of people tell older FTMs they should be so happy to look young, isn't it great, without thinking about all the ramifications of it. Functionally, it can be challenging sometimes for 30+ year old men to look like 15 year old boys.
The good news is that for people who take T, eventually, it goes away. The bad news is that for guys who aren't taking T (don't want to, can't), the older they get, the worse they can pass and the more these issues crop up.
I always wanted to transition...even started the process in my 20's but got cold feet. It wasn't until the end of last year that I finally decided to go for it with the encouragement and support of a friend...I am 48 now.....
There are several older guys here. I transitioned at 39/40. I am definitley not as active on the boards as I was before/during transition but i do try and pop in when I can.
Cheers'
Myles
I'm an older guy I suppose. Although I don't think being 31 is really all that old. This is especially true if we use the adage only as old as you feel. I feel pretty young actually with a new lease on life.
I also know that Sean's point to be true as I am seen as a good 5 - 10 years younger than my age. My oldest son is 9 and often thought to be my brother. People get confused when I bring out my other two so that doesn't help with passing. I am not taken as seriously because of my appearance quite often which is frustrating. On the other hand it can also be a blessing in disguise as I am given more of a leeway when I don't know all of the unwritten rules of male social behaviour.