A couple days ago I was waiting at the bus stop when three random 10-13 year olds (I really can't tell) came up to me and said the inevitable 'are you a boy or a girl?'. I mean I get that in school, whatever, but who comes up to someone in the street and asks that? Instead of explaining, I just say I'm a boy, and give them a look to convey insult and confusement. They didn't drop it however, and began to point out EVERYTHING ''wrong'' with me. I don't have an adams apple, my hands are small, my voice is weird, my feet are small, I have no stubble, my lips are thin (????) etc. etc... I tried to be patient, and tried to comment away what they were saying and stick to my guns. But then at one point I totally snapped and thought, if I don't walk away, I'm going to punch them. I've not been having such a good time recently so I was already walking on a thin wire... So I walked away to the next bus stop, during which their comments kinda sank in to me- the ones I know T won't change, and I started getting really upset. This isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened but it was pretty brutal, and I just couldn't deal with it. So anyway at the next bus stop, they see me and get off the bus they just got on to continue. I had my headphones in and wasn't about to take them out (NIN lol), but they were laughing I guess, and other people at the bus stop could see something was going on... And that anger level meter thing in my head exploded, so luckily I turned and falcon punched the bus stop 5 times.
They were like 'ah we'll go now' and ran off... Well I'm glad I scared them. But the whole experience left me with a really horrible feeling in my stomach. I think I've suppressed the 'dysphoria' because I thought there was no fix; but this was the worst I have ever felt about it. And now that kind of barrier to remarks has gone, I feel much more exposed and vulnerable about it. I mean seriously who goes up to someone in the street and does that. They were from a different school, younger, god. I wish it were legal for me to show them my knuckles because I'd really have no qualms about it at this point- but I know if I were to loose it, I'd for sure be the one in trouble. Gah.
Hi Devin,
Scum are scum. Sadly we have to put up with this sort of rubbish, but let it make you stronger. There are lots of guys of different sizes shapes etc. These children who are just into bullying, are keeping their little egos together and they are failures. They are using you as a reflection of their inadequacy. I remember well from school being bullied because I was the smallest and most feminine looking guy. But the people who did the bullying ended up with the problems. I grew. There is a temptation to be violent, but that is what they are waiting for. Three against one is no odds. They want to humiliate you, it gives them kicks, probably gives them an erection. Avoid them, don't answer them, don't argue with them, look at them with disdain, walk away and ignore them. They are trying to make you respond so they can go to another level. They don't know what that level is but they will find it, and no doubt it will include trying to humiliate you further, probably by removing clothing. If this happens report it to the police. It is sexual assault. No matter that you are a guy. Report and get the little turds locked up.
BTW there is an Australian male model, I think his name is Stephan.
He is stunningly good looking and passes in fashion shows as female/male. As far as I am aware he fully identifies as male. And he is a very good looking guy.
So what is wrong for a guy to be good looking and feminine looking? Many guys do.
I personally know no guy who wants to look ugly.
I'll add to that I've never been attracted to an ugly, smelly, badly dressed, unshaven slobs.
I don't know any women who are.
Take Care Devin
We are here for you
Cindy
Those guys are stupid jerks! >:( I honestly can't understand this mindless mentality, but I've never harassed anyone so stands to reason. Just know you are better than them and their words and comments are just sh**!
Sorry you had your day ruined, I hope you never have to endure this kind of garbage ever again. :)
That's really quite horrible to hear.
Like Hermione01 said, I can't even understand that mentality. It's so hard to wrap your head around why someone would treat someone else that way.
They were so young though, so they're probably either scared and insecure with themselves or they're just scared of things they don't understand, like gender not being a completely black and white thing.
I have no idea what to tell you though, is there any way you can be at that bus stop with a group of friends instead of being alone? It'd be easier to brush off such comments and to make the brats go away if you had company.
Either way, I hope this never happens again to you, you don't deserve it and don't let things get to you such as small hands, feet, etc. A lot of bio guys have those traits, everyone is built different regardless of gender, hand and foot size and all of that is not linear. Just stay strong.
Thanks for the kind words. I have 2 friends that I wish were there, they would have probably been more angry about it than I was. Usually, if I'm with someone and this happens we try to explain it, but it's much more difficult alone- plus I don't think that would have helped in this case. I'll probably use the train to get home now- I don't like being forced into things like that but I'm afraid really that I might just not be able to hold myself back. I know it must sound bad but right now I have a really strong anger response- as opposed to a couple months ago where I was far more passive.
I just want changes to happen already though. Waiting sucks, I've been waiting for years already yet they want me to wait some more so they can be sure. I get that, but I am sure right now :/
so sorry to hear about this. Some people are just awful....you don't deserve that kind of treatment. I really don't understand why people treat others so badly sometimes. It is beyond my comprehension. They will hopefully realize some day maybe when they have matured how bad they were as teens and straighten up...I am impressed you were able to keep your cool for as long as you did. Hope you have a better day today and for the many days to come :)