If you could take a time warp and go have a conversation with your child self...what would you tell you? I would tell me that no matter what live your life. Dress in pretty clothes if you want..and put on makeup...and also...talk to mom about getting hormones earlier or at least anti t blockers...
If I could I would talk my younger self to keep going forward when I first tried to transition. I would be so totally done now.
Yeah, talk to parents sooner and transition in my teens, lol.
Stardust
Quote from: RoseBlossom on February 11, 2011, 01:42:18 PM
If you could take a time warp and go have a conversation with your child self...what would you tell you? I would tell me that no matter what live your life. Dress in pretty clothes if you want..and put on makeup...and also...talk to mom about getting hormones earlier or at least anti t blockers...
yeah, i bet that telling what we are and to talk with parrents asap is pretty much what everyone would do, too bad we cant eh? : \
Here, take these pills and don't tell anyone about them. ;D
Seriously, If he could see me as a woman I wouldn't need to tell him anything except the he is a wonderful person who is loved and to never give up fighting for what he knows is right.
Save up money, invest in Microsoft and a few other good companies and leave home as early as possible
Yeah, that's what I thought too VM, buy microsoft, intel and apple at the initial offering.
OK, I hope this doesn't sound too pathetic, but I'd tell him not to lose hope, it gets better, eventually.
1. Don't take no crap from John Randall (My first therapist when I was 16). Instead stick to your guns and you'll have SRS before you become an adult instead of waiting until your early twenties.
2. Don't leave the BBC.
3. Have a nice life - the rest of it was all good. :D
Oh and if you want to be well off in old age DON'T put all your money in the stock market in 2007. I lost over $250,000 in about 6 months.
Dont waste time with dreaming about miracles and fairy tales.
you're normal.
Yeah that kinda goes with the entire train of thought that when you found out that Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were all things your parents made up to make you behave in a certain way, that's the day you should have rethought the entire Jesus thing too.
Quote from: tekla on February 11, 2011, 02:48:37 PM
Yeah that kinda goes with the entire train of thought that when you found out that Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were all things your parents made up to make you behave in a certain way, that's the day you should have rethought the entire Jesus thing too.
Wait? What? You mean they aren't really. :( :'(
Quote from: rejennyrated on February 11, 2011, 02:32:26 PM
Oh and if you want to be well off in old age DON'T put all your money in the stock market in 2007. I lost over $250,000 in about 6 months.
yeah, you should have waited till 2009 ;)
I would open my past self's eyes and make her transition before 18!!!!! lol. Course it would screw everything up because I wouldn't be in the place I am for having $$ for transition and surgery but you know :P A girl can dream.
The world stops being terrifying when you stop acting like someone you're not.
I would come to him as a woman and I would say: "Enjoy yourself now, play with your girl cousins if you want to. You will come to a very important realization early in your teen years that you absolutely have to see through. Take advantage of the fact that you have supportive parents, please don't be scared."
"Also: Take all of your money and jump on the Google IPO."
:D
Just shut your eyes... find that quite space...and learn to trust your 'inner' voice....
its your guiding light.....the compelling beacon of truth....
and never let 'anyone' ever deter you or stray from it....
I wouldn't, because I think I'd screw everything up. Things happened like they did, and they've helped shape me into who I am today.
If I told myself, say, 'Don't buy World of Warcraft', there's a good chance I'd have not truly discovered all this stuff about myself.
I'd say that not all boys wish they girls. You can be one if you want, you just have to say something. Oh yeah, save your allowance and buy a bunch of apple stock.
Unfortunately, I'd have to tell my younger self it will be 40 years before the world starts to realize gender-variant people are legitimate and healthy members of society. It will also be 30 years before the internet becomes available to the general public, making it so much easier to learn about myself and connect with others. I'd also strongly suggest to find out as soon as possible when cyproterone acetate becomes available in another 10 or 15 years, get some, and stop testosterone from wrecking my body, my skeleton, and my life.
I'm a real bundle of joy, huh? ::) It's not easy living with clinical depression, and it started during puberty/adolescence for me in the early 1970s. It's genetic from my mom's side (thanks, Mom) but I sincerely believe testosterone fueled it.
I would say do a better job of taking your life at 16 as the next 26 years hold constant heartache!
I would tell myself you're a worthwhile person,you are not junk, and don't ever beat your self up.
Quote from: SarahM777 on February 11, 2011, 07:19:53 PM
I would tell myself you're a worthwhile person,you are not junk, and don't ever beat your self up.
awww *hugs*
I'd also go back and tell my friend's former self to call CPS on her parents...because they are crazy and don't deserve her =(
Those feelings you feel inside... They aren't silly and you certainly shouldn't dismiss them... because they are going to try and kill you. They are going to rip you to bits and no matter what you will be scarred for it.
I hate to bring such bad news kid but things are not going to be easy for you I can't really protect you from the nightmare your going to face but I can give you weapons that will help.
-Explain why jerry springer is a C**T and what a transsexual actually is. I'd point them in the direction of some transgender role models they would identify with and not feel so isolated and alone.
-And I would suggest not repressing my identity or feeling such shame from ages 11-16. do what I did ages 17-20 before then. (This would lead them on a path that should hopefully lead to an easier coming out.)
-Offer methods on howto minimize the destructive impact of the male puberty.
-If all else fails I provide desperate dangerous coping techniques that will help somewhat in the long run rather than just hurt you.
-Some emotional resolutions I have had on various traumas I've experienced.
-Told them to not take crap from the collage course induction supervisor storm out of that meeting Flipping the bird at them if you have to YOU ARE A SCIENTIST AND A GOOD ONE TOO YOU ARE NOT A DRAMA/ART STUDENT! Don't ever let them tell you otherwise because your only gonna lash out at others if you do accept it. You do badly at exams because your suffering so much.
Oh I'd also inform them about certain disasters and there dates. so even if it's hopeless you can try and warn others about it.
Hi everyone my very first post and I hope it's not too incoherent haha.
I never had a *big* realisation until my very late teens, and even then I actually thought "Well I like females in that way, so being male will work...." How wrong can one person be...
So child you have some of the very best of both worlds :D, yes you love adventure but imagination the thing you will always see as one of the very greatest of humanity's gifts will greatly confuse the situation!, it will make you think it doesn't matter you being a boy because if you like girls then it will be ok, but it does matter! Obviously it does.
Don't wait until you're 36, or maybe do, but if you wait you'll have many lonely years but they will be bright and very soul building, but waiting so long there will be one cosmetic reason that will make being physically who you are just that little harder: male pattern baldness, it will make you go grrrr haha, you'll laugh, but it will rip a little hole in your soul.
So would I say come to the realisation sooner? For me hmmm probably yes realise it matters greatly what you are haha (so obvious doh haha) But would I wish I'd been born female? For me the answer is almost certainly a no, I wouldn't be who I am. A proud transfemale.
Oh I'd also inform them about certain disasters and there dates.
Don't you remember The City on the Edge of Forever, the penultimate Star Trek episode from season one, written by Harlen Ellison?
Simply this: It's going to be alright. Really, everything will be. :)
I would tell myself about the world events also...so i can tell them to people for money to pay for my srs and ect lol!
Don't take things so seriously. And find this thing called the internet the moment it's available. -- you'll feel less stranded immediately.
Your dad loves you and he'll believe you. You don't have to hide from him.
"If you could vist your child self..what would you tell yourself?"
Don't despair. Follow your dreams and not somebody else's, and everything will turn out to be just fine.
I actually wrote a letter to my child self not long ago... it was a long letter.
I'd tell him he's a lot stronger than he believes. He needs to learn to trust people so he can truly live. And isolating himself now won't make the future any easier.
I'd reassure him that he does have a future, and he will be loved.
I'd tell him to stop hoping the testosterone fairy will appear at his door and actually do something about how he feels. That he's not going to change or grow out of it, and that there will be pain and heartbreak and triumph and joy - as cliched as that sounds. That he needs to be who he wants to be.
I'd tell him that yes, he is insane. But no, it won't make him fail, and it certainly doesn't make him unworthy of life.
I would tell him, the world is larger than 400 acres and you will be able to visit it one day. You will even be able to stay there.
All those dreams of figuring out how to make hormones and surgery will happen. The good par t is you won/t have to learn to hypnotize anyone.
(I really did think if I could only get a doc to agree to hormones and surgery, I would be good. I also thought the only way to do that would be to figure out how to get the hormones from a body and hypnotize a surgeon. Then I left home.)
I would give her a big hug that would last for hours and tell her she is going to be okay, that she is right, and that it will all work out. I would also tell her that her mother is a sociopath and trying to convince her mother or win her approval is a waste of time because it will never happen. I would leave her a list of names and places, people who will help. Finally I would tell her that she will grow up to be so much more than she ever dreamed so never give up hope.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 12, 2011, 04:18:42 AM
[...] I also thought the only way to do that would be to figure out how to get the hormones from a body and hypnotize a surgeon. Then I left home.)
LOL
I think I would just tell myself that I shouldn't believe that a karyotype-test tells you whether you're a boy or a girl... (I was 8-ish and too young not to believe this impressive doctor with his small glasses on the tip of his nose *sigh*)
And ofc, I would give the necessary stock trading tips to be able to retire by the age of 35 :)
Don't hide who you are, be very vocal with your parents, and work like hell to get on anti-androgens before the poison that is Testosterone can turn your body into what it will. Oh and as someone else said, buy apple stock!
i would tell myself that one day this would not be illegal or a mental disease and that i really shouldn't have been put away in haverford state mental hospital for wearing womens clothes as an early teen. I would tell myself how to transition and i would have been done as a teen and i would have not listen to the prejudice people who told me i was weird for doing what i did and i would have good memories growing up and not have been distracted with male masturbation as a way to release that nasty sex drive and i would have at least gotten my testes removed or taken some meds to stop the testes from functioning.
Today though i tell you to tell your parents the sufferings older people like me suffered due to prejudice and how it has ruined my earlier life (which regretfully affected my later life) and you would hope they would not wish the same for you.
I would tell my younger self:
"You're gonna have a great life and meet a great person to spend that life with. You'll find the confidence you need and you're gonna be okay. Just be yourself. Also, don't do any heavy drinking on low balconies."
Quote from: RoseBlossom on February 11, 2011, 01:42:18 PM
If you could take a time warp and go have a conversation with your child self...what would you tell you? I would tell me that no matter what live your life. Dress in pretty clothes if you want..and put on makeup...and also...talk to mom about getting hormones earlier or at least anti t blockers...
"Never ever EVER believe when they tell you this is a 'sin' that you need god to forgive you and heal you of, and never ever EVER get married without telling her first"
Open your eyes and trust your instincts, kid...
Quote from: Tammy Hope on February 14, 2011, 04:00:07 AM
"Never ever EVER believe when they tell you this is a 'sin' that you need god to forgive you and heal you of, and never ever EVER get married without telling her first"
Oh, and buy stock in Microsoft, Apple, Google, amazon, etc, etc, etc...
;)
Quote from: Tammy Hope on February 14, 2011, 04:07:31 AM
Oh, and buy stock in Microsoft, Apple, Google, amazon, etc, etc, etc...
Yeah. That's probably the only thing I would tell myself. There's not much I could say about my transgender issues that would prepare myself for what is to come. But I could sure as hell give myself financial advice.
Two things:
1) You're about to meet someone who will do you everlasting damage. Avoid them and everything else will work out.
2) Don't trust anyone, ever.
I'd tell myself to avoid 40 year old black male pedophiles named Greg... :/
And to give up the watch, its not worth it, unless you really want to see two girls naked as a prepubescent child with no sex drive.
I believe those two simple things would fix all future problems, because all problems I have now is how stoic and apathetic I am, and I had a very long phase of hatred, and had no friends because I pushed people away, and in arms with having no friends comes an increase in bullying.
Also, look up the band AIR.... You will like what you hear!
I could also just tell myself to run away, far away, as far away as a I can, and look for a new family.... I used to say no to that because there are so many people I care about that I would be afraid not to meet... Then I realized how nobody really cares in real life. Care bears are a lie.
Wow, this is a cool thread, wish I had seen it when it first came out!
Patience grasshopper. You will live to see everything unfold exactly as it is supposed to be.
i would tell myself not to go anywhere near daniel anthony, not to put trust in your father who will let you down for years and trust me, acting male wont win his aproval. i would tell myself to go listen to my chemical romance when they start, they will be a huge help, and that when you start noticing your female traits, dont ignore them just because your attracted to women, please pay attention to them, seriously, rather than living in denial
I really wanted to say something clever here.
But the truth is, I wouldn't tell my past self to do anything differently.
I've experienced everything I had to to be who I am today.
No regrets, even though getting here hurt like hell. I wouldn't change a thing. :)
I hear that reply all the time - and i respect it. but i can't relate to it AT ALL. It's true a lot of my experiences "made me who i am" but in most of those ways, "who I am" is nothing to aspire to or be satisfied with.
if I could alter my past, i would hope to heck what resulted would be considerably better than what actually resulted.
"Here are the winning lottery numbers from Wednesday" Oh yeah, when you are dressed up, next tuesday, don't hide in the closet but stand there for your mom to see, she will not hate you, but love you just the same, believe me, I know!
Quote from: Fata Morgana on March 05, 2011, 02:25:52 PM
I really wanted to say something clever here.
But the truth is, I wouldn't tell my past self to do anything differently.
I've experienced everything I had to to be who I am today.
No regrets, even though getting here hurt like hell. I wouldn't change a thing. :)
I never told my father who I was in any way shape or form, we were close but not as close as we could have been. It was him being slightly bigoted that stopped me from telling him, and it was me punishing him for thinking like that! So regrets, yeah that's a pretty big one. But life isn't perfect so I wouldn't change anything that has happened, so regrets aren't about the past they're about now don't make the same mistakes right now where you can do something about it.
"it's OK to be a boy, whatever mom and dad say. Be who you are, and stand up for yourself"
I would say....
take those hormones asap
LoL :D
Often, in my minds eye, I have looked in on that frightened young child, and held him. And told him that it would be alright. And that a joy that is almost beyond comprehension is waiting for him.
"Dare to dream, child, dare to dream..."
-Sandy
I would tell him not to doubt who he is...I would tell him to be more expressive, and not hide who is he all throughout high school. I would tell him that he is okay. I would tell him to enjoy existing.
Hey kid, your testicles are going to end up destroying your entire body. I suggest smashing them as soon as you can.
Stop bull->-bleeped-<-ing kid you know you`re right
Run, Forrest, Run!!!
QuoteHey kid, your testicles are going to end up destroying your entire body. I suggest smashing them as soon as you can.
Ouchies! Or, build a time machine and somehow transport them to little Caleb, so that he never grows boobs. In exchange, I'll transport my pre-pubescent ovaries over the time and space and we can both have the puberty we were supposed to. At the appropriate time as well.
I would tell him about hormone blockers (or even bring him some!!) and then transition as early as possible.
Advising about Microsoft, Apple, Intel would also be a big temptation!!!!
It's ok to be frightened by the grown-ups around you, especially when they tell you that you will have an unhappy life if you transition from a boy to a girl, or a girl to a boy.
That you should follow your heart, and there will be no regrets - life will be hard at times - but you will feel natural and you will be loved. You will be a beautiful and wonderful young woman or young man as you grow, and you will live a full and happy life, with your family and friends, and your life will be very productive. Be the person you are inside, don't deny a basic realization of your most core being. Live YOUR life to the fullest while finding happiness in the simplest forms of giving, and love others as you love yourself. Don't wait any longer to live life as the person who you really are. Be thankful that others care and have the knowledge and tools to help you. Seek them out and be open to them. Learn from them. -Ricarla
1.Learn to box, you are going to need it in High School (years before anyone heard of Karate).
2. Oh, and you should really have been a girl.
3. return to 1.
4. repeat this to yourself until you get it.
Cut your hair off already, no point in having long braids just because your mother likes them. You'll be going through some rough stuff, kiddo, but you'll do alright. Sure, people are mean to you now and they will be mean to you in the future, but nice people exist too. Keep on being the way you are, don't let anyone force you into someone you aren't. You rock!
Be assertive and trust yourself. There's nothing stopping you from getting that haircut you want or asking for those clothes your brother gets. There are endless possibilities to who you can grow up to be, you don't have to be stuck forever.
Oh geez, I'd give myself a whole list of things.
Awkward teenage years and so many mistakes we're made.
Also the whole trans thing... I think with my past self just looking at me would be enough for "him" to get the jist :)
Don't be afraid. :(
Stop being rude to people at school for no reason. >.<
Don't get married.
hard to say, many pains could have been avoided, but my old man would have beat me to a pulp and then spent the following years in theropy :'( (but then i would tell myself once i could do some work outsside the family trade - mechanical, to move away and get on the 'mones and start anew)
Hmm. Honestly, the last thing I would tell myself is to tell my folks about my issues at an earlier age, because they have enough trouble believing that it's not a phase at 18. They would probably shrug it off like it was nothing if I was younger, so it would just be a futile attempt I think.
I would tell myself to take better care of my long hair (my hair used to go down to my stomach, but it was really unruly), and to drop the whole "weird kid" image I was cooking up, because it wouldn't help in the future whatsoever and would severely hurt my social status. I would also tell myself that I don't need to be ashamed of feeling certain ways, and that I should embrace those ways instead.
Also, I would tell myself to play some tabletop RPGs earlier (I didn't start until 16), because they're honestly the best games I've ever played.
When my dad asked if I wanted to wear a dress to school, say yes! even if it is an all boys school. :P
Tell myself to come out already, because otherwise you'll waste all of your teen years worrying about what people will think while testosterone is ruining things.
Get the hell out of here. Right now.
Trust yourself.
Don't get married.
Best answer yet (other than 'buy apple stock on the first day of issue').
The usual:
1. Explain what those feelings are all about.
2. Trust Mom (she knew SOMETHING was going on, but I clammed up. She passed away before I came out).
3. Practice your trumpet more often.
I would tell my younger self......dont suppress your feelings of femininity and dont try to live up to society's expectations of what gender role your supposed to fulfill! and, along with some other comments, buy more stock in apple and microsoft!
I wouldn't tell myself anything.
I'd have a long hard talk with my parents, not only about me but about them.
Before I told myself anything I would sit my parents down for a chat, I would have to prove to them that I was from the future (or they'd think I was a nut!) I would give them the details of every winner of every horse race & sporting event for a week, I doubt even my parents could dismiss proof like that.
I would then explain to them that they need to forget their hang ups & accept what I had to do to prevent a lifetime of depression & self loathing.
I would then give myself a list:
1: Knuckle down at school, childhood isn't a time for messing around, save that for when i'm earning buckets of money.
2: Tell my parents about my need to become female on the outside to match what's on the inside so I could start the transition as young as possible.
3: I would warn myself that my parents will get divorced when i'm 15 & when it happens don't go off the rails, just concentrate on school.
4: Invest in Microsoft, Sony & Virgin
5: I would give myself the winning lottery numbers for 3 or 4 large roll overs spread over a decade & advise myself to use a large amount of it to set up a charity/organisation to help Transpeople.
6: I'd tell myself to eat healthy & to never ever start smoking.
7: I would give myself a list of every major disaster (plane crashes, Tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, 911 & 7/7, floods & the NASA shuttle disaster)
Could you live with yourself if a future you came back & made you happy & wealthy but let all those people die? I don't think I could bear that guilt
Simple: "Don't get married. It's not the solution to being lonely."
I'd go with just one simple thing really... Do not trust your mother, trust your father, and tell him how you feel asap. I'd have transitioned years ago when it mattered most to me.
Give mommy these lottery numbers to play! :D
Live your life, sweetie. You won't die at the hands of your parents, I promise. :icon_cry: Please don't go down that dark hole, don't even look inside. You may never escape.
Above all else, trust your intuition because your subconscious knows best. When it talks, you best listen up.
Adults aren't as smart as you think.
Anybody that has it all figured out, doesn't. Don't listen to a thing they say.
A person that makes you smile is precious. A person that makes you cry is poison. Treat both accordingly.
You will never regret being kind, patient, or authentic.
You will be known by whom you pretended to be, so if you must pretend to be somebody-- make sure it's someone you'd be proud of.
It's in people's nature to overreach and over-correct. Use that knowledge to your advantage.
Every word spent in making a point takes you further from truth. Beware of long-winded philosophers.
The faster you go, the less you will get out of life.
When you feel happy, make sure to notice.
Always let peace be your compass.
Oh, and stay the **** out of Utah!
Oh, and stay the **** out of Utah!
Always good advice.
why, whats up with utah?
It's like Iran, a theocracy in the middle of a desert, but with Mormons.
LOL that is perfect!
Kia Ora,
::) You "did" the right thing-so don't change anything !
Metta Zenda :)
Now that I think about it, there is something I would tell myself:
"If you ask the hard questions, you should be prepared for the fact that you will hate the answers."
Huge part of becoming an adult is learning to walk away from asking questions you really don't want to know the answer to.
I'd tell myself
what I am, so that I can find resources sooner.
to stick to my guns whenever mom shouts me down to change my mind.
to be more open about how I really feel, that I don't have to hide myself all the time.
to not give in and get my hair cut just to make other people happy.
to take home-ec and the other classes I want to, instead of weight lifting to try and fit in.
Honestly, my life has turned out pretty good. I just wish I could have transitioned about 10 years ago - I have no need to be rich, just happy and well enough off to live comfortably.
If I could I'd also give my mom a huge talking-to. If she had been supportive at all, I probably could have started transitioning in high school.
Little self, listen up: You have a serious non-curable birth defect that is almost fully treatable. You sort of know this. It is now the late 1940s and early 1950s and almost no one knows about it or what to do for you. But there is a way; here is a concise report and treatment plan, and a list of the people that do know what to do and where to find them. A lot of them are not ready for you yet, but some are. Keep this information safe, tell NO one, and when you are able, go to these knowlegable and caring people. Get the only treatment that will do you any good. Again, right now, no one here knows the first thing about it. There is not one person in your life that can help you - except you. Remember - you are not sick .... you do not have a disease .... what you have is called transsexualism. It is called a lot of other things, some most unflattering and inaccurate.
Again, tell no one. It is entirely up to you. Make plans and take action for you as soon as you can.
YOU WILL NOT EVER BE HAPPY UNTIL YOU DO THIS! The future you guarantees it. Make me proud!
Susan Kay