Well there it goes -- no longer am I a lurker. I've been rss'ing different forums here for the last month and then I've been reading this place on and off for at least a decade. I'll pose a question later in the m2f forum but here are the particulars.
I'm m2f and 42.
I have had real feelings of me being different since I was 4 or 5, although I am also an only child -- which comes with its own set of weirdnesses. All my best friends were girls -- I had no problem playing with dolls or a Tonka truck -- whatever -- much of the play was make believe. I was an emotionally sensitive kid too. To avoid getting beat up I progressively integrated with my born-sex crowd and towed the line right up into my mid-thirties.
At the end of my 3rd relationship I kind of made the decision my role in a man/woman relationship was regrettably not for me. I never shared this part of myself with any of them either which bothers me in immense ways -- I regularly preach to my friends and the people that work with me to be genuine, yet every other part of my "being genuine" life is really just farcical since this secret is so much at the core center of who I am. Still, I don't beat myself up for building this wall around me -- I did what I had to do at the time -- thing is I'm no longer willing to continue living this way.
I'm not telling people yet, but I'll tell more about that with a question in the m2f section. At any rate . . . HI!! :)
Hi melts,
Welcome to another lurker :laugh:. I don't think your reactions and emotions are different to what many MtF go through. As for telling people to be true to themselves while hiding your own self, again is not unusual. I think it is the sort of personal therapy that we do unconsciously.
So welcome and join the party.
Hugs
Cindy
Hi Melts, nice to meet you. I think it's a slow trip for a lot of us. But we all have each other for company and advice. See you around, hugs, Tracey
Hi Melts,
It sounds very similar to many accounts I have heard and not terribly unlike my own. Sometimes I find myself feeling somewhat different from then some here but other times I find more similarities then I thought were there. I just wanted to say welcome and I'm looking forward to your posts.
:-)
Kyndra
XXOO
Hi Melts, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 5400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Welcome to Susan's (well, formally), Melts!
I am glad that you finally decided to join our family! As others have said your story is very similar to many of the girls here. I hope that you find the answers and support you are seeking.
I hope to read more from you! See you around the boards!
Hugs,
Jacquelyn
Thanks to everybody for the kind words