So I had a bit of a debacle getting a haircut today. I didn't want to be mean to the lady so I left, but I got convinced to go back and got what I wanted the second time around.
I really can't tell the people around here that I want a 'haircut like a guy' cause it's kind of a small town and I'm not out, but if I were to get one somewhere else, what might I say?
Would I say, I want you to cut it like a guy, or just say something like 'short on the back and sides, and in the front' etc?
I don't know how to do these things :(
My hairdresser is really cool so I just brought her a picture of what I wanted - and it was a guy, and she cut it and said she loved it on me. But I go to a rock'n'roll indie sort of salon, so I've got a lot of leeway when it comes to that sort of stuff.
Since, I'm assuming that your place isn't like mine - I'd suggest asking for a pixie cut. While it's feminine, it'll get you closer to the style that you're looking for and would give the stylist a better idea of what you want. Hallie Berry had a very nice pixie for a while that when styled correctly turns into a nice looking men's cut.
I just walked right in, picked up a mens haircut book, found a picture and told them that's what I want.
When my mom was around a few years ago and I wasn't out to her I usually just said I'm very masculine so I want a masculine cut. When they dug deeper I'd say "I prefer men's styles" no one really pushed much after that. Bringing in a pic of a guy is also a good idea because there are some women who like men's cuts on them who do the same thing around here
I will usually bring in a picture of a males haircut, and the guy looks obviously male, and his haircut is obviously masculine, i also remind my hairdresser that i want it to look 'as masculine as possible'
this usually gets the point across
also, I passed for my last haircut, so I just had to ask for a trim, and its actually the most masculine cut I have ever had.
Print out the picture.
Take it to a hair salon.
"This is what I want. Don't f*** it up."
It doesn't work that way though when my mom takes me to my aunt's hair salon. I'll pick out a style and she'll go "NO THAT WON'T LOOK GOOD" and she gave me a PIXIE CUT. Not going there anymore. I don't go there a lot, actually.
Start by not going to a hairdresser, but go to a barber.
Quote from: tekla on February 16, 2011, 08:27:56 PM
Start by not going to a hairdresser, but go to a barber.
I'm going to second this. Not only have I heard others state that they care less about whether you want a feminine or masculine haircut (upon reflection I have the same experience) but they also don't nitpick or say much of anything about your hair that doesn't have to do with the cut.
If you really want you could probably bring in a picture, personally I just try and explain what I want the best I can and I've yet to be disappointed. Sometimes they even surprise you and give you something extra that you really appreciate but don't actually ask for (last time I was in the barber cleaned up my hairline and made it more masculine when I didn't even mention my hairline -- I never do).
Well... I'm pretty direct with whoever is cutting my hair that day haha. I just go to supercuts, it's only $15, and 9 times out of 10 it works out great.
I tell them I "basically just want a boy's haircut", and to "cut it short on the sides, leave the top a little longer, and leave the pieces in front of my ears but trim them a bit." Sometimes I'm more specific with razor numbers depending on what I'm looking for- for instance the sides are usually a 5, and they clean up my neck with a 2. The top they just use a scissor for because I like it really textured and messy.
I find if you refer to the result you want as a "boy's cut" it lightens the mood and they just assume you're mimicking a guy but not trying to pass as one. Saying it to them that way makes me feel less masculine for the 20 minutes I'm in there, but for a nicer looking cut it's a trade I'm willing to make.
that's 'Short back and sides' in barber talk.
I'm also on board for the "see a barber not a hair stylist." The only times I've gotten what I wanted was when I went to a barber shop instead of a hair salon or a stylist.
I've gone twice to wall mart to have it cut and I go with my cousins. I just bring a pic in and they cut it like the pic and it's a male pic.
Would I say, I want you to cut it like a guy, or just say something like 'short on the back and sides, and in the front' etc
You can tell them whatever you feel comfortable saying. I would think they wouldn't care if you wanted your hair cut like a boy. The first lady that cut my hair said women come in all time wanting their hair cut like a guy. This lady didn't know I was trans, but she didn't care at all, neither did the 2nd lady who cut my hair.
I live in a small, very conservative town. I went to my town's hair stylist. Confidence is key. Even though I didn't pass as a male to my hairdresser, my first time upon going in with my brother, I asked her, "I want the sides and back short, long on top, and straight sideburns." She says to me, "Oh, you want a boy's cut?" I pointed to my brother and asked to have my hair cut like his. And she cut it exactly the way I wanted. Now I go in and she knows how I like it cut, so all I have to tell her is "the usual" or "boy's/men's traditional cut please". Just be firm about how you want your hair cut, don't let them do it the way they want to, it is your hair afterall and you're paying for it. Maybe bringing a male friend/sibling with you will help too.
Watch the barber shop scene in "Gran Torino". Don't try it, just watch. Seriously, use a barber, not a salon. Just ask for a trim and you'll get manned up and have a better idea of what to ask for next time. Don't panic about the neck shave, you'll bleed out before you even know he got you!
I have only dared to ask for a men's cut once (too shy, I also falsely believed that I was percieved as male by the lady who cut my hair the previous times), and I simply said: "Give me a men's cut please, something that's super easy to maintain and still looks good."
I just bring in pictures and my stylist does it for me. She has never said anything about it and the first time I remember being really nervous, but when I handed her the picture got really excited. She has always done a really good job, but I don't go for the more normal cuts.
round here the stylist will introduce himself/herself and shake your hand,....so i just introduce myself with a random common unambiguous male name that leaves no doubt i must be a boy. it will usually result in a better cut if they think you're a guy, because there are lots of women who ask for masculine haircuts but they mostly actually walk out with a prettied-up female version of it.
Well unfortunately been a lad, and been in the armed forces I usually would have said "2" back and sides and trimmed on top! That was uk speech don't know if you guys have the same trimmer lengths... but generally ask for simple styles. I have never in my life asked for overly complicated styles... hmmm except once when I got into high lights... maybe a sign that I wanted to experiment, especially seen I loved spending the time talking and been in a hair dressers?!
There are not many lads that would take pictures into hairdressers and say that, generally know exactly what you want and say it with conviction like you have always wanted it. With everyone I knew it was making things as quick and simple, basically everything male. Shopping for me would be surgical strikes; I knew what I needed and where it was, all my shopping was done in 1 hour at the most!
There are huge exceptions but generally boys try to avoid the intimacy that comes from girls shopping and hair styles. Keep it simple and quick and know what you want before you go, that is the most convincing. Especially while I was growing up and still today!
Thanks for the replies.
To everyone who said go to a barber, there isn't one in my town and I don't have the means to drive out of my way for a barber :/
I'm like Kohdy, I live in a small conservative town, there are no barbers here. Before I got the touch-up done she was with someone else, a guy who wanted a trim. I assume she did his hair before. It looked perfectly fine.
I don't understand why everyone is saying go to a barber, unless you're saying it just because you figure he won't ask questions or be weird?
Quote from: Phate on February 18, 2011, 10:18:56 AM
I don't understand why everyone is saying go to a barber, unless you're saying it just because you figure he won't ask questions or be weird?
The reason why I said go to a barber was based on a few personal experiences. I've been to both hair salons/stylists and barber shops. When I go to a salon or stylist and ask for a cut it's usually cut in a way to look more feminine where as with a barber shop all they do is men's cuts so the cut is always masculine. This has been a problem when I had hair longer than mine is now.
Barber shops are good times, at least in my experience. It's a very masculine environment and the barbers are very good at giving haircuts to guys. As opposed to a salon where they are use to giving girl cuts to girls for the most part. They would be the best one to talk to about masculinizing a haircut that would work best with your face and head shape.
Getting a shave from a barber is also awesome. I feel so pampered, yet so male which is a great combination.
Sorry if there isn't one close to you. Just remember you are the customer and they should be catering to you. It's their job to please you, not the other way around. Be confident in who you are and what you want. If they are smart and want your return business they will give you what you want.
Stylists 'style' hair, barbers just cut it, and at that there are really only a few different ways to do that.
I went to a men's barber and they tried to kick me out because I "wasn't a man". I told them I was trans and was a man and they cut my hair, but the embarrassment has kept me from going back there, or any other men's hair place. I go to a unisex place and ask for a number 3 on the sides and cut it short on top and I like what I get. The last time I went they even charged me the men's rate, even though I gave them my female name. When I pass more consistently I might try a different cut.
Jeh I'm sorry you had to go through that :( I've seen butch woman who prefer men's cuts go into the barbers around here with no trouble. I hope that won't keep you from going to a different barber in the future.
Phate: I would only suggest a barber if you happen to be around one and have the choice to go to one instead of a stylist because they cut your hair without question. Many stylists in my experience if I didn't pass say stuff like "you don't want that it's too manly for you. Why would you want to look like a man?" etc.
when i was getting my hair cut it was real simple.
"Buzz cut please. #2 on the sides and #3 on top."
takes about 15 mins if theres no wait and the lady isn't the chatty type.
i go to a salon and luckily im perceived as male, i always get many different haircuts. but i suggest saying "trim the sides and top" or " very short on sides and top" or just anything kind of like that.
I actually go to a friend of mine to get my hair cut now - thankfully. Prior to that, I asked a coworker of mine where he got his done because his cut was similar to what I was trying to get people to cut my hair like. It's like a faux hawk but longer...? He told me he went to Lady Jane's Haircuts for Men...which is a chain, may have seen a commerical on tv..."sexy" girls, flat screen tv's, pool tables. What I did was just called ahead to avoid the embarassment. I just pretty much said, "I am a girl, will you still cut my hair?" and their only question was if I used clippers on my hair. I said yes, and they said ok, and to come on in. I felt a bit awkward because I do not pass at all(which is why I said girl) and thought I stood out like a sore thumb, but the girl who cut my hair was very nice. You could always just try calling places before going in. Even walk in places like supercuts, mastercuts, great clips will take appointments as far as I know. You could try calling ahead just say you want to avoid a wait, give them your name and say you are just coming in for a men's cut. Maybe that way, they will already have associated your name with men's cut before you come in and explain it.
I wanted to say that not all hair stylists are inexperienced at men's cuts or are going to cut your hair femme. I have always gotten a completely masculine haircut from a local hair dresser (who is male). The only problem I had was he charged me 15 dollars (men's cuts there are 12). This last time I decided I would make the appointment with my new name (I'd just had my name changed) and explain when I got there. I showed up and he looked confused, there were some people around so I went to his appointment book and pointed to my name and said that's me. I never had to explain anything. He understood and at the end charged me 12 dollars.
@Jeh - I never had any problems like that. Even about 7-8 years ago, before I even knew I was trans, I knew I wanted a guy type cut, so I went in a barber shop a few minutes' walk from my house and asked 'can I have a haircut' and the barber basically said that if I want a male haircut then yes. So, not all barber shops are alike, obviously. If you get a chance, try another one.
@Andy8715 - I would call that discrimination. Simply based on your gender (i.e. based on your name, you were female before, male later), he charged you different amounts for the SAME haircut. Having different prices for different types of cuts is fine, but the prices should depend on the style/type of hair cut, not on the gender marker (or personal gender identity) of the person getting the hair cut. If I were you, I would have complained the first time around, simply because I hate the discrimination. Women shouldn't be charged more for the same haircut just because they're women. My two cents.
Quote from: okydoky on February 20, 2011, 08:14:16 PM
@Andy8715 - I would call that discrimination. Simply based on your gender (i.e. based on your name, you were female before, male later), he charged you different amounts for the SAME haircut. Having different prices for different types of cuts is fine, but the prices should depend on the style/type of hair cut, not on the gender marker (or personal gender identity) of the person getting the hair cut. If I were you, I would have complained the first time around, simply because I hate the discrimination. Women shouldn't be charged more for the same haircut just because they're women. My two cents.
Yeah it was but I try not to dwell on that because he is a really great guy otherwise than that one aspect of charging me the 15, and because I was so ecstatic that there was this kind of understanding that "hey this person is a guy"
I've got a friend who owns some clippers, so I had them buzz me to the length I wanted it from then on. They told me what guards they used and now when I go to great clips I just tell them the number of the guards. (3 on the sides and back, 6 on the top)
I just tell em to buzz me. I tell em the size and to square my neck, and trim my sideburns. (I dun exactly pass yet and so ppl tend to want to mow my sideburns over. :/
dude i'd just take in a picture so they don't mess it up :police:
Quote from: Devyn on February 16, 2011, 08:04:45 PM
Print out the picture.
Take it to a hair salon.
"This is what I want. Don't f*** it up."
Do that, gentlemen, and you will get the haircut that you deserve.
I was nervous when I went to get mine done. I went to a unisex place though. I showed the lady a picture that was obviously male and told her that was what I wanted. People want to get paid so they will usually do what you want. I echo the not going to a salon. The people there told me things like "oh you won't like it that short," or "you'll hate me for that." Its just easier to not deal with that.
:laugh: LOL You guys just gave me a mental image of when I was a little kid and my grandmother would take me to the old mall we used to have, and on the times when she'd take me for a hair cut I remember picking up the mens' styles books and picking from that. And no one said anything about it except my mom when she'd see me and say that she wishes I didn't get my hair cut so short. It's funny now because that's the first time a childhood memory popped into my head that wasn't straight from memory. I see myself as a little boy sitting there looking through the mens' books. ;D
oddly enough, the lady who already cut my hair when i presented as female still gives me the best haircuts....i passed with all the other unisex stylists and barbers i tried (surprisingly, one would think they'd be able to tell from my hairline), but often times i feel like a short haircut is not so much about whether the cut itself is defined male or female, but whether the stylist knows how to work with your hair. Obviously bringing a photo helps, but then again, that also means you need to know in advance what kind of cut will look good on you. It gets easier if you already had one perfect haircut -that way you can just bring a picture of yourself when your hair looked the way you liked it.
sascraps: i also remember the first time i got a "boys" haircut in 2nd grade my parents finally let me get one. but even before that my hair was kinda weird it looked like a really long beiber haircut lol! then my parents let me get a "traditional boys haircut" (as my mom calls it) where the sides and back is short but it spikes up in the front. one of the happiest days of my life ;D
I cut my own but if I were to go to someone, I'd go to a barber too.
I'm too nervous to go to our local hairdressers. Thankfully my partners cousin is a hair dresser and she cuts the families hair every few months. Even though their family do gossip a lot (and ive found out recently they do talk about me) I felt this was the best place to get it done. I handed her a picture of Ashton Kutcher and she just said ok. I was a bit worried and I dont doubt there was a bit of talk about it but everyone says its suits me so it was the best thing I did. My problem now is having to pay for female hair cuts. Some places charge like £5 for a mens cut but £15 for a womans! Thankfully I only pay £7 with my partners cousin but thats £2 more than he has to pay :P
There are a lot of guys who do it themselves. Till I moved to the mainland from Hawaii. ever man I knew (atleast the ones over 35) cut their own hair themselves with clippers. I have a high and tight because I was in the Army at Ft Jackso for a long time and that was THE way to have hair, some guys use the longer gies on the top and the shorter ones to taper the back and sides. There are some pretty good guides on You tube. It you use just one size guide you will look more feminine, kind of like Annie Lennox, or if you have feminine features and you cut your hair too short, it actually emphaaizes those feminine features. Maybe you remember Sinead Oconner? No hair was more feminine than long hair on her. If your skull is just weird shaped you could wind up looking comical. Sometimes its best to get the barber's or a men's stylist's opinion on what would work for you. Its also got to fit your lifestyle.
Barber.
I get cut at a barber school, there's lots of hot men, the haircuts are $5, and the last dude even pointed out that I'm balding (this made me happy).
Winning.