The good news? My therapist agreed this morning to prepare a referral letter for me, so I can receive an orchiectomy this Spring.
Why aren't I happy? Because I live with clinical depression, and right now several other things are piling up, precisely after I've just recovered from having the flu for a week. Before the flu, I had trouble sleeping through the night for two weeks. I hated doing it, but I backed off from my daily dosage of anti-depressants, and started taking it every other day. After a few days, that didn't help with sleeping, so I skipped a second day between doses. NyQuil did a great job of keeping me asleep while I was ill with the flu, but that's not a good option otherwise. Now that I'm finally over the flu, I need to start taking my anti-depressant regularly again. Too many little things pile up and seem HUGE when depression strikes, and last night was that night. I took the anti-depressant after dinner, and it had me awake at 3:30 this morning.
The other good news is, at least I've lived with the depression long enough to recognize it for what it is, and to know I have to treat it. It looks like I'll be making an appointment with Dr. Reed in Miami in several weeks. By that time, I may not be sleeping well again, but at least the damned depression will be gone.
Love you all :icon_bunch:
Congratulations! That's great news.
Depression really sucks enough without the antidepressants messing with your sleep. I know all about it.
Thank you, Hannah. :) It's aggravating because my depression is usually under control and no problem. This recent sleep disturbance is extremely frustrating. Whether I change the time of day I take my anti-depressants or change how frequently I take them, I'll get it back under control. Like a cat, I really enjoy my sleep and I miss it dearly when it's a problem.
Screw the insomnia, my happiness is more important. I've been back on daily anti-depressants for about a week now. Last week's bout of minor depression was bad enough to remind me why I have to take meds - - every day, no exceptions. I knew this, but the insomnia was so bothersome I was desperate to find any possible solution. Since returning to a daily schedule, I still wake up around 4:00 am, but it's not as severely wide-awake as it was a few weeks ago. I'm able to return to sleep in less than thirty minutes, and that's good enough.
There's been progress on scheduling my orchiectomy. My therapist/Ph.D. confirmed a referral letter will be provided, and Tuesday my psychiatrist/M.D. agreed to write the second letter. I snail-mailed HIPAA authorization forms to both of them yesterday so they can freely exchange information and discuss my case as necessary. I scheduled an appointment with the psychiatrist the week after next, when my next therapist's appointment occurs. After I have both letters in hand, then I can start scheduling with Dr. Reed in Miami. And that's a very good thing. ;D
Yay! Good news on both accounts.
I glad to hear you got back on your meds and can still sleep.
My therapist has told me to take anti-depressants at the morning, because of sleep. It is better to stick with a constant schedule from my experience, because you get less mood swings.
I find that doing femenine things also helps a lot.
I originally took the meds in the morning, but they left me too keyed up at night to get to sleep. So, I switched to taking them in the evening, many years ago. It's never been a problem until recently.
I can't help you much there Caith, the only thing I can say is talk with your therapist about it. If he is good, he will be able to help you.
Thank you, Maiara. :) Both my gender therapist/psychologist/Ph.D. and my psychiatrist/M.D. are women. They are very good, and I've discussed it with both of them. I'm still not certain what triggered the insomnia but it's not been so severe lately, and I'm taking my meds later in the evening again.
This morning I mailed my contact information and a check to Dr. Reed in Miami. Wednesday morning I have a few more hours of electrolysis. Thursday morning I visit my therapist and hopefully receive her letter. Next week I visit my psychiatrist and work with her to prepare her letter.
Slowly, things always happen slowly. We probably couldn't properly appreciate them if they all happened way too fast.
There are various medications, mostly mood stabilizers that I'm aware of, that have a mildly to moderately sedative effect. With respect to the rules, I'm not naming names, but talk about maybe an anti-anxiety drug with one of your docs.
Regan, thanks for posting. :) Anxiety isn't my issue, it's living for too many years without benefit of good gender therapy from an earlier age. Who wouldn't love for everything to happen quickly? I'm saying it happens slowly for a very good reason.
My final statement was intended as one of reflection, not disappointment.
Many find it difficult to understand, but antidepressents frequntly do help people to sleep. When I worked in psychiarty, we had a number of patients who were prescribed short courses for this very reason and they worked.
But while you are finding relief from the agitation, you still seem to be a little bothered with the amout of sleep you are getting.
Are you tired during the day? If so, can you take a nap? If your're working, this may be difficult of course.
If you're not tired, then can you accept it? Some people don't need a lot of sleep.
Have a read at this post by Roxy. It's quite long, so you may want to type it out. But the advice it gives really is good.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,94317.msg689090.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,94317.msg689090.html#new)
This is especially good if you're working and perhaps getting tired during the day.
But even if you're not tired, it will give good results with a number of things.
Try it out.
The insomnia problem started after a two-week business trip to Los Angeles in January. I was having no problems sleeping through the entire night there. It started the night I returned to Charlotte. Spacing out my anti-depressants by a few days helped resolve the sleep issue, but allowed an episode of depression immediately following a bout of influenza. I'm back on an every-day schedule with the anti-depressants for over a week now, and last night was the first time it's happened again. Fortunately, I'm not letting it bother me too much.
I'm currently walking five miles, two nights a week and that could be having an impact. Exercise means more oxygen in my metabolism, and needing fewer hours of sleep to feel rested each night. Work has also been less demanding, which means I'm not expending an excess of mental and emotional energy every day. To summarize, there's a lot of things that could be causing this, but after experiencing two weeks of the flu and depression, I don't care nearly so much if I'm waking up in the middle of the evening. I just lay there and relax until I fall back asleep, usually within an hour or less.
i went to the GP a few months back when my depression became a suicide attempt. i hadnt accepted my gender issues at that point but was told i "wasnt a suitable candidate" for anti depressants or sleeping meds for my insomnia. im now seeing a therapist separately about my gender issues but am still battling daily with depression and insomnia. how do you help a medical professional realise you have a genuine need to have medical help ?
If there's any kind of local trans support network, see if you can find out which local GPs are more sympathetic, and then change GPs.
It's very easy to feel cowed into submission by these "professionals" but if the one you're seeing is too rigid, find one more flexible - it's your right, and it's another way you get to give yourself care.
It wouild be better if you were use the anti-depressants regularly.
As for the sleeping, if you're not tired, then don't worry about it. If you are, then try to find an alternative, such as the porcedure suggested by Roxy.
I'm really sorry to sound flippant, but you need to separate these two problems, at least, for now. Modern antidepressants shouldn't keep you awake.
joshany12 - Depression and insomnia are both serious conditions that need treatment. I know it's really hard to fight for what you need when your depressed and haven't slept but you need to make sure that you're taking care of both of these issues.
Quote from: spacial on March 02, 2011, 11:24:33 AM
Modern antidepressants shouldn't keep you awake.
About half of the SSRI family of drugs do have insomnia as a side effect. I haven't found a single one in this category that doesn't cause insomnia in me regardless of the time of day I take it.
For the record, I walked five miles last night (from 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm), took my meds at 8:30 pm, and fell asleep at 10:30 pm. I slept through the entire night without waking up, not even briefly. ;D
Yes, walking's really good for body-mind-emotions-spirit - and it stimulates endorphins, which are our own DIY anti-depressants.
Quote from: joshany12 on March 02, 2011, 08:10:04 AM
i went to the GP a few months back when my depression became a suicide attempt. i hadnt accepted my gender issues at that point but was told i "wasnt a suitable candidate" for anti depressants or sleeping meds for my insomnia. im now seeing a therapist separately about my gender issues but am still battling daily with depression and insomnia. how do you help a medical professional realise you have a genuine need to have medical help ?
It's like everything else, medication is usually the last resort and even still its not just medication alone but medication and therapy together.
i know, its just hard. i got written off as attention seeking and turfed off to therapy, and therapy are saying if i needed medication then the gp would have already dealt with it haha. got to love circular logic haha
Maybe there's some truth to it. I had a former roommate who seemed to assume she would just take her anti-depressants and it would solve all her problems. Throwing my own self under the bus, I think my major failure in my first attempt at transition was assuming that all I would have to do was HRT and everything else would fall into place for me.
Ask specific questions. It seems like many people in this situation don't ask detailed enough questions or get told "no" and simply take it at face value without trying to find out why. The therapist and the GP probably have specific reasons why they're saying you don't meet criteria. Either you will agree with their reasoning or you wont. For better or worse, its a matter of finding a doc that agrees with your assesment of things, of course if all you really want is meds with no questions asked there are plenty of pill mills out there - not that I'd reccomend it though.
yeah your obviously right haha
i dunno, theres just alot to deal with atm, and then the trans issues raising there head, its just alot haha
This morning (as mentioned two weeks ago) I received my first referral letter for "irreversible genital surgery" from my therapist/Ph.D. Next week I visit my psychiatrist/M.D. for letter # 2. I'm also hoping to hear from Dr. Reed's office today or tomorrow. It just depends on how fast my snail mail made it down the east coast, and how fast they read and process their incoming snail mail. They are VERY fast about responding to e-mail, so I hope that holds true for their postal mail as well.
;D Just so you know, I am definitely smiling this morning. ;D
@caith
thats fantastic news, really happy for you :D
good luck and hope you hear back soon :)