I was just thinking about when I went to a club the other day, and I went to toilet. Well been genetically male I'm used to the urinals, and especially that discomfort when unfortunately they are busy and you find that you have to stand very close to other people. However, since I've accepted to myself what I'm doing, I found that proximity in the toilets absolutely nerve racking, in fact I was terrified about been in there and been so close to men, and found myself going for the cubicles now if possible. Just wondering if anyone else had similar sudden avoidance experiences? I just find it strange that something that I've had to do my whole life now seems very daunting.
Ahhhhh What's a Urinal? I have not been in a Mens room in more than two years.
Ok I am kidding I know what they are. And the only time I used them was when no else was there. Otherwise it was the stalls.
I won't go near a urinal anymore :icon_blah:
I could not use a urinal my whole life, if there was anyone else in the restroom with me. I couldn't bring myself to use the cubical either, I was afraid they would think I was gay or that I had something to hide.(and I did). So my outings were always planed round bathroom stops , that had private bathrooms. Not at all an easy task. Now life is much easier !!! I have absolutely no problems now.
Hugs, Roxy
Quote from: Erocse on February 21, 2011, 12:53:53 PM
I could not use a urinal my whole life, if there was anyone else in the restroom with me. I couldn't bring myself to use the cubical either, I was afraid they would think I was gay or that I had something to hide.(and I did). So my outings were always planed round bathroom stops , that had private bathrooms. Not at all an easy task. Now life is much easier !!! I have absolutely no problems now.
Hugs, Roxy
I always go into a cubical and wait for the person to leave, they might think it's weird but yes the urinal impossible.
That day when I have no problems at all, to be me... How good reading posts makes me feel seeing there really is a bright future.
Last time I used a urinal was when I was in grade 4. I'm 23 now.
Furthermore, I haven't used a change room since I was old enough to dress myself. I always go to the washroom and change in a stall.
I don't worry about what other people think anymore, but I am worried about the crack in the stall's door. You know, that quarter inch gap between the door and the rest of the stall. If someone else walks by I am always sure to cover up anything they might see...
........ I hate public washrooms...
For me it depends on the place. I got jumped on in the restroom at work once when i was 16. Thankfully no got hurt and it ended pretty quickly once i had gone through one of the pieces of drywall as the boss would figure out pretty quickly what had happened but after that when i have to use a larger restroom i case the place to check escape routes and see who else is in there. If there is someone near the door i will go as far as i can but not up against a wall as i do want to be able to move sideways if i can. I learned how to empty my bladder very quickly so i try to get out ASAP. ( I know on this the fear is a bit over the top but it is what it is at the moment) If its a smaller place where i know most of the people there i will use one of the cubicles.
Oh Yuk
I haven't used a urinal for 20 odd years. They disgust me. Just the smell makes me want to vomit. Ahhhh. Never mind what you can see . And then they spit. Why are men so crass.
OK not getting into that one.
Women's, toilets can also be disgusting with all sorts of stuff we don't want to know about, but at least they don't (usually) have the stench. I just have a problem of why cannot people clean the seat and flush the toilet. It's not a big ask.
Cindy
mmm... I never liked standing up to pee, I tried it as a toddler (there is a cute picture of that), but it never really felt practical or comfortable. So basically I never use urinals (unless that's the only thing available or when it's an emergency...)
Quotemmm... I never liked standing up to pee, I tried it as a toddler (there is a cute picture of that), but it never really felt practical or comfortable. So basically I never use urinals (unless that's the only thing available or when it's an emergency...)
Sounds like me.
Yes, use a cubical.
Caroline
I think urinals are awesome and they should put them in the ladies room with some sort of device. When I have to pee I have to PEE! Plus they are so much cleaner than sitting or hovering. I don't take not standing in line for granted.
I'm looking forward to be able to use a urinal, but I don't know how I'll go.. In Australia most of the urinals are just one big sharing urinal.. they're not those seperate basins.
Give me some kind of seperation from the other guys and I'll be like a pig in ->-bleeped-<-. I won't even complain about the stink.
Quote from: CindyJames on February 22, 2011, 02:26:46 AM
Oh Yuk
I haven't used a urinal for 20 odd years. They disgust me. Just the smell makes me want to vomit. Ahhhh. Never mind what you can see . And then they spit. Why are men so crass.
OK not getting into that one
Cindy
Absolutely agree Cindy, I even forget what they look like, Iv been sitting down now for 25years, the only disadvantage I find with the ladies loo is having to queue all the time when Im bursting for a pee, guys never have to queue, its quick, in and out, us girls have to stand and take our turn in the queue.
p
I'm starting to notice that it's odd to stand up when going, period.
i remember years ago out of nowhere i just couldn't use one anymore when there were others around, then i just stopped using them all together. now i use the ladies room :]
I was never able to use urinals, and standing to pee just seemed alien to me, even before I figured out my dysphoria.
It's always been daunting. If there's not an empty cubical i leave. I have been late for classes by a good 15 minutes because of having to use bathrooms across campus before... but i just cannot do the whole standing thing, so it's the trade off i choose to take. Public bathrooms are disgusting...i used to carry a can of Lysol in my backpack for school.
The 1/4th an inch gap in the stall door is the devil. i hate it. Hate it. you have no idea how much, but i could go on about that for way too long if i let myself. It's just creepy being a girl in a room full of guys, with them able to see you. Given, they don't see me as a girl, but i still see them as men, and it's really kinda terrifying sometimes. *shudders* It's even worse if someone tries to check to see if someone's in the stall you're in because that surge of terror passes through you and fight or flight kicks in, even though somewhere inside you know they won't ACTUALLY do anything, but that tiny bit of logic does nothing to quell the thousands of visions that just flashed through your mind of what would happen if they did. Then again, I see myself as completely female, and half of those scenarios aren't possible yet.
Sorry. I have huge issues with bathrooms.
((you refers to me in the above. i don't know why i broke into second person, but i speak for no one))
I HATE urinals. They have terrified me from childhood age! I never used to stand up at all to pee until a few years ago when I made myself learn so I didn't have to sit on public toilet seats!
But yeah..even when I try to use a urninal, if there is anybody around I can never physically bring myself to pee.. I just stand there praying for it to come out, no matter how badly I need to pee but it just never comes out! So I have to zip up and walk away and try again in another 10 minutes...hoping nobody recognises me when I go back!
QuoteI couldn't bring myself to use the cubical either, I was afraid they would think I was gay or that I had something to hide
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
This is not even related to my gender problems, but men's urinals are some of the most god-forsaken places in the universe.
Even if I were a man I would not fancy standing in other people's misplaced urine. :-X
Quote from: LanceM on February 26, 2011, 02:08:37 PM
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
Obviously I'm unable to speak for all men, but having lived the life of a average guy for 30 years. I have never felt that nor have any of my friends ever stated feeling that way unless there was some STARING going on( of course i may or may not have had a typical male feeling about as it turns out I AM a girl, lol.) I would think any sensible person would only be affected by a feeling much like us in the mens room of being overly self conscious since when naked or partialy so in public we all become much more aware of others looks.
Just babbling, Lisa...
Quote from: ykkih on February 26, 2011, 02:53:21 PM
This is not even related to my gender problems, but men's urinals are some of the most god-forsaken places in the universe.
Even if I were a man I would not fancy standing in other people's misplaced urine. :-X
QFT.
Quote from: LanceM on February 26, 2011, 02:08:37 PM
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
I don't know; you're the man here, you tell us!
Sounds more like paranoia to me tho. I'd probably just think they had to poop.
I've never thought anyone using cubicals was wierd, never thought much about people who use them as I'm normally only in there as little time as possible.
Firstly as I hate the smell and hygene , womens are always so much nicer.
Secondly, I'm normally drunk and therefore not really engaginging deep thought, and I doubt most other people in there would be either. Probably more thinking about a girl they had seen and how to pull them :laugh: !
I hate restrooms in general.
And don't like using a urinal and won't use one without a divider.
But where I work there are allot of mentally and physically handicapped people.
They make a terrible mess in the toilet stalls even though they are cleaned twice a day or more.
I'd rather use the urinal than sit in a mess even with a piece of tissue between my cheeks and the mess on the seat.
:rolleyes:
In my line of work it's nothing but porta-potties...
Quote from: Erocse on February 21, 2011, 12:53:53 PM
I could not use a urinal my whole life, if there was anyone else in the restroom with me. I couldn't bring myself to use the cubical either, I was afraid they would think I was gay or that I had something to hide.
Quote from: CalebLance on February 26, 2011, 02:08:37 PM
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
No. I am sure men do not think this. It was simply my GID and SAD rearing it's ugly head.
When I posted this I did not consider the implications that this might have in regards a ftm . I am sorry to have made it sound like a person can not use the stall, without looking weird. It was only my insecurities that made me think this.
Before I began transition my GID and SAD was so bad I had to have my wife order for me at Starbucks. So using a urinal or even a public restroom was out of the question.
Hugs, Roxy
Thanks for clarifying, Roxy. :) I don't have a problem with being perceived as gay, I was just concerned about the possibility of violence.
I remember seeing a urinal for the first time when i walked into the mens room at age 4. After that i had a reoccuring dream that i would walk into a bathroom with like a hundred urinals and they were awesome to me. When I got my STP, using a urinal was the most exciting thing for me.
Quote from: Michael James on February 27, 2011, 01:19:50 AM
I remember seeing a urinal for the first time when i walked into the mens room at age 4. After that i had a reoccuring dream that i would walk into a bathroom with like a hundred urinals and they were awesome to me. When I got my STP, using a urinal was the most exciting thing for me.
I still think it is amazing how one person can think something is "awesome", and the same thing terrifies another.
OK, but Patty and I are both curious, and I don't mean to be ignorant here. and without being too graphic. I just have to ask. How do you do it, stand at the urinal?
Love and Hugs, (but certainly not when standing at the urinal). Roxy
Firstly, I can care less what other people might think, if you feel more comfortable in a stall go for it. It seems the vast majority of the male species of our race are slobs and/or have no consideration for anyone else because of the nasty condition of most of the urinals most of the time. To me the most terrible and disgusting part is the usual urine soaked floor and trying to deal with that.
Fortunately my trips to the mens room is becoming a rare event these days.
Quote from: CalebLance on February 26, 2011, 02:08:37 PM
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
Nope. They don't care. Get in, get out.
Many males will even accept a female going into the men's room, the female better be prepared for some terrible stuff though. (in my experience)
Quote from: Erocse on February 27, 2011, 10:44:38 AM
I still think it is amazing how one person can think something is "awesome", and the same thing terrifies another.
OK, but Patty and I are both curious, and I don't mean to be ignorant here. and without being too graphic. I just have to ask. How do you do it, stand at the urinal?
Love and Hugs, (but certainly not when standing at the urinal). Roxy
I was thinking the same to myself lol.
But I have an STP(stand to pee) basically it carries the pee from where it comes out a flow that you can aim into the urinal. You just kind of hold it in place and aim? Many of us have an stp packer where stp goes through the packer and sticks out at the end so you pee into that part, and it pretty much looks like the real thing. I hope that makes sense (and is not too graphic). Im not good at describing things. :D
Quote from: CalebLance on February 26, 2011, 02:08:37 PM
Sorry to quickly hijack the topic, ladies...but do men really think this if you use the stall?
It is my experience that, in a public toilet, men are only concerned that no-one thinks they are gay.
Men tend to keep to themselves, talk minimally, try not to be caught looking and get out of there as quick as they can.
LOL... I just remembered a ha ha from school days :laugh:
Most of the schools would have big long urinals that everyone would pee in... So this one kid sees a friend of his peeing and goes to stand right next to him to pee... He made the mistake of tapping his friend on the shoulder and talking to him...
Unfortunately his friend forgot what he was doing and turned to talk to him and peed on the guys legs :laugh:
I wonder how long that friendship lasted...
One of the few things I actually like about having been born with this body is that I can stand to pee. I can do it quickly and I don't have to touch anything. That said the only time I'm not uncomfortable with being in a public bathroom is when it's empty. Even then I worry that someone is going to walk in.
I was in a store restroom today and this was posted above the urinal. It made my day.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm6.static.flickr.com%2F5175%2F5484080108_38736b390e.jpg&hash=17817820389c8c5f610fe702591657c72ba7071d)
Yes Jennifer,, I agree with what you wrote here- I don't feel comfortable in a mens restroom either!
amelia
Quote from: jennifer90 on February 26, 2011, 09:29:21 AM
I HATE urinals. They have terrified me from childhood age! I never used to stand up at all to pee until a few years ago when I made myself learn so I didn't have to sit on public toilet seats!
But yeah..even when I try to use a urninal, if there is anybody around I can never physically bring myself to pee.. I just stand there praying for it to come out, no matter how badly I need to pee but it just never comes out! So I have to zip up and walk away and try again in another 10 minutes...hoping nobody recognises me when I go back!