Tocophobia = fear of pregnancy
So, I think I actually developed tocophobia, and the fear of pregnant women (there's no scientific name there). Being FTM, I'm disgusted by the thought of having a child myself (or even thinking that my body is preparing for that, or that I have a uterus, etc.).
However, now I am completely repulsed by pregnancy in general. Even if it's completely unrelated to me. It used to be that I was uncomfortable when I saw women who were so pregnant that their belly button was sticking out. But now, if I even think about someone being pregnant, I start feeling kinda sick and really uncomfortable.
I think it was caused by (oddly enough) watching The Nanny too much. They started showing the re-runs awhile ago, and my sister quickly fell in love with it, so I watched it all the time. Not really a bad show, but after they get married, she thinks she's pregnant, and when she finds out she's not, she becomes obsessed with getting pregnant. I had to watch these episodes over and over again, and very shortly I noticed that I couldn't stand watching them anymore. Then I realized I couldn't stand watching anything where pregnancy was involved.
And it didn't really go away. So now, I think I've developed tocophobia. Does that make sense to you guys?
So now my step-mom wants me to go to a baby shower with her (a friend of the family), and although she's not forcing me to go, she's pressuring me. I don't want to go, but I want to support them. I don't think I can handle being around the woman, as I'm sure she's pretty far along now.
What should I do? :-\ Is there anything I can do to soothe this phobia a little bit? Anyone had this feeling before?
Thanks in advance.
Pregnancy has always grossed me out a little. I think its the whole parasitic thing. I would't say I'm phobic though. Keep telling yourself she's just fat, that's the only thing I can think of.
I read this as tacophobia and thought it was going to be about fearing vaginas.
What the heck is a baby shower? ???
I've always found pregnancy to be gross, so no, I don't know how to soothe it.
I've always had a huge issue with pregnancy...other people being pregnant is bad enough, but me being pregnant is without a doubt the worst concept imaginable to me
Just pretend she is fat?? Hahah :-\
Men don't typically go to baby showers, you could just say it would make you really dysphoric...or just flat out say no
Quote from: Wraith on February 25, 2011, 03:07:14 AM
What the heck is a baby shower? ???
A baby shower is a party that a pregnant couple throws when they're near the point of giving birth. Their friends come over and they celebrate the birth and give gifts for the soon-to-be-born baby, like baby clothes and toys.
Quote from: FebruaryFalls on February 25, 2011, 03:28:11 PM
Men don't typically go to baby showers, you could just say it would make you really dysphoric...or just flat out say no
That is true, but my step-mom wants me to go, so she's been telling me that it's ok for guys to go too, and we should be supportive, etc. I think that guys can go to baby showers, although it's not really common, but I don't really want to go because I'd be really dysphoric (I don't think they even know what that means), and honestly because I have very little time to spare and I don't want to spend it stuck with a bunch of people discussing babies and pregnancy. :-\
Quote from: Sharky on February 25, 2011, 02:05:45 AM
I read this as tacophobia and thought it was going to be about fearing vaginas.
This. So much this. I misread tocophobia as tacophobia, and I kind of thought, "Okay...fear of vaginas."
Quote from: Devyn on February 25, 2011, 06:06:11 PM
This. So much this. I misread tocophobia as tacophobia, and I kind of thought, "Okay...fear of vaginas."
Glad to know I wasn't the only one.:icon_lol:
If I was pregnant I would rip out my uterus with my bare hands.
That is all.
Quote from: Devyn on February 25, 2011, 06:06:11 PM
This. So much this. I misread tocophobia as tacophobia, and I kind of thought, "Okay...fear of vaginas."
I looked up that word and it said "fear of speed". ??? I think I missed the joke... now I feel like a retard. Anyway, when you wrote that, I thought you were going to say "fear of tacos" :icon_lol: >.>
Quote from: LanceM on February 25, 2011, 06:48:11 PM
If I was pregnant I would rip out my uterus with my bare hands.
That is all.
Me too. Or I'd carve it out with a hunting knife. Whichever's faster.
Quote from: LanceM on February 25, 2011, 06:48:11 PM
If I was pregnant I would rip out my uterus with my bare hands.
That is all.
I said something similar to my friends before, before realizing I was FTM.
Quote from: Dante on February 25, 2011, 08:53:29 PM
I looked up that word and it said "fear of speed". ??? I think I missed the joke... now I feel like a retard. Anyway, when you wrote that, I thought you were going to say "fear of tacos" :icon_lol: >.>
It's not really a joke, taco is just slang for vagina.
Quote from: Sharky on February 25, 2011, 10:37:36 PM
It's not really a joke, taco is just slang for vagina.
Oh, ok then. I haven't heard that one. (Which is surprising considering my group of friends always talks about sex, much to my discomfort)
Quote from: Dante on February 25, 2011, 06:04:53 PM
A baby shower is a party that a pregnant couple throws when they're near the point of giving birth. Their friends come over and they celebrate the birth and give gifts for the soon-to-be-born baby, like baby clothes and toys.
That is true, but my step-mom wants me to go, so she's been telling me that it's ok for guys to go too, and we should be supportive, etc. I think that guys can go to baby showers, although it's not really common, but I don't really want to go because I'd be really dysphoric (I don't think they even know what that means), and honestly because I have very little time to spare and I don't want to spend it stuck with a bunch of people discussing babies and pregnancy. :-\
Maybe if you sat her down and explained how it would make you feel to be there she'd understand. Explain it as a physical and mental pain that could deeply affect you. Just make sure to let her know you're not trying to be selfish or whiny, but that you're genuinely concerned for your own mental health and well-being and you fear what attending this shower could do for you.
If she doesn't accept that, don't go on the principal of her being an insensitive jerk
To me, the idea of being pregnant is as appealing as the idea of having a chestburster inside. My boyfriend says he wants to get sterilized, as he regards those organs and those functions vestigial. I feel the same about my own reproductory organs, they fill no real function and are essentially like an appendix.
Don't worry, I HATE the thought of being pregnant too. I'd rather be dead than pregnant. I don't even see why anybody wants to be pregnant. It just brings out misery and bills and all kinds of horrible things. If people want to have a child, they should adopt because those places are over-flowing as it is. But pregnancies? Ew. I can only see downsides to them :-\
Just IMO up there. But I don't think you should worry about it too much unless it starts interfering with your daily life (like, refusing to go outside because you might see a pregnant woman)
Pregnancy and all of the related issues have grossed me out since I found out about them. I can actually remember crying and vowing to be a virgin all my life when I found out the cause in my sex ed class.
Pregnancy in general doesn't freak me out. The thought of me being pregnant though freaks me out. I love kids though so I don't mind other people being pregnant.
i would say that I do have a very very strong fear of getting pregnant, i even have nightmares about it
now, im not afraid of pregnant women, but I do think that carrying a baby that is sucking your life is very gross and parasitic
I'm surprised that I'm surprised that something like this exists. (That sentence totally makes sense by the way)
I have no fear of pregnant women, but I'm always scared that I'm magically going to become pregnant some day without even touching anyone.
Don't worry Dante, you don't have tocophobia. If you did, you wouldn't even be able to talk about pregnancy, so set your mind at rest.
How did your sister force you to sit through the re-runs? Were you tied to the chair?
Phobias only become problematic when they start interfering with your daily life. For example, my mom is afraid of snakes, and at one point she refused to go outside because there might be a snake. When she had to go outside to go somewhere, she would run all the way to the car to minimise the chance of seeing a snake. At this point it seems like you're just disturbed by the concept of pregnancy, though I could be wrong.
And I'm bothered by pregnancy too. I hate it when people around me talk about it. My mom loves art of pregnant women, which is so, so disturbing to me. The idea of me being pregnant is even worse, I'd probably cut out the little parasite myself if I was. There shall be no sperm making contact with my girly bits, ever.
Plus, I'm essentially pro-abortion. Humans are overpopulated, there are plenty of children waiting for adoption anyway, the desire to have your own children is entirely evolutionarily based and a bit outdated, as such, strain on resources, etc. And pregnant women are frighteningly emotional.
Quote from: JohnR on February 26, 2011, 01:15:50 PM
Don't worry Dante, you don't have tocophobia. If you did, you wouldn't even be able to talk about pregnancy, so set your mind at rest.
How did your sister force you to sit through the re-runs? Were you tied to the chair?
While that's true, it's problematic to me being so disgusted by pregnancy. I saw a pregnant woman on the cover of a magazine yesterday and I immediately felt nauseous. My mom just rolled her eyes at me.
And my sister didn't really "force" me, but basically it's like this; I only have cable at my mom's house, and she lives in a tiny apartment. My sister gets the living room TV (I've only been able to use it three times while she was there in the span of 11 years), which is where the AC is. There's another TV in the bedroom (which is the size of a walk-in closet), so I sit back there on the bed and watch TV. They showed those re-runs during the summer, so it was either roast to death in the bedroom and watch shows that were okay, or sit in the living room with the AC and watch what my sister wanted to watch. Besides that, there's never really that much on anyway. >.>
So, in short, I wasn't really "forced", but I didn't really have great choices. :-\
Quote from: Nikolai_S on February 26, 2011, 02:46:21 PM
Plus, I'm essentially pro-abortion. Humans are overpopulated, there are plenty of children waiting for adoption anyway, the desire to have your own children is entirely evolutionarily based and a bit outdated, as such, strain on resources, etc.
You know, this reminds me of a couple weeks ago when I went on a field trip to this science museum. They had a wall where you could hang pieces of paper that had ideas about how to help the planet. So we (me and my friends) felt the need to act like teenagers and write something bogus and stick it up there. My friend wrote "save the otaku", and I wrote "stop having sex! (reduce the surplus population)". :laugh: I do agree that more people should adopt, as there are so many kids that don't have homes.
Quote from: FebruaryFalls on February 26, 2011, 08:00:49 AM
Maybe if you sat her down and explained how it would make you feel to be there she'd understand. Explain it as a physical and mental pain that could deeply affect you. Just make sure to let her know you're not trying to be selfish or whiny, but that you're genuinely concerned for your own mental health and well-being and you fear what attending this shower could do for you.
She wouldn't even consider this. She would just say I wasn't being supportive of them. So I'm not going to bother trying to argue that. It's now official that I'm being forced to go. But in my opinion, I think that it would be more considerate of me not to go, as I'll just sit in the corner the whole time. I think that would seem like I was being rude, and I'd rather just send my congratulations and not show how I really feel about pregnancy. I'm happy for them, but I'd just really rather not be there and bring down their happiness.
I don't necessarily agree or disagree with any of this but...
Adoption doesn't work as many seem to think it does. You can't just decide "I'll adopt a kid". If you choose to go that route, you have to jump through almost as many hoops as we do to get a kid and then you may get to have a child you will choose to keep but often you don't want them and send them back. The cycle starts again with a new kid. Meanwhile those kids are feeling very much like merchandise and sort of treated that way too. Just another method of slavery until all the papers are signed and years have passed.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 27, 2011, 05:50:17 AM
I don't necessarily agree or disagree with any of this but...
Adoption doesn't work as many seem to think it does. You can't just decide "I'll adopt a kid". If you choose to go that route, you have to jump through almost as many hoops as we do to get a kid and then you may get to have a child you will choose to keep but often you don't want them and send them back. The cycle starts again with a new kid. Meanwhile those kids are feeling very much like merchandise and sort of treated that way too. Just another method of slavery until all the papers are signed and years have passed.
This is very true. Adoption can be incredibly expensive, and it can be a very difficult process. You also run into the problem of parents not wanting to adopt older children because they don't want a child who recognizes their birth parents or who might have psychological issues because of prior abuse or negligence.
Then there's international adoption, which requires tens of thousands of dollars, plus trips to whichever country you've chosen ... Not to mention the cultural issues. If you adopt a child from a completely different culture/ethnicity, will you teach them about their heritage, won't you? Will you be prepared for their questions about their heritage? Etc., etc.
I still think that adoption is preferable for people who can afford it (and I really like adoption because my mother and uncle were adopted, and so was I), and I think that people do go overboard with children, but some people can't adopt, and some people have numerous children for reasons that are perfectly legitimate.
I would just take off before they left, they can't really make you go if they can't find you.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 27, 2011, 05:50:17 AM
I don't necessarily agree or disagree with any of this but...
Adoption doesn't work as many seem to think it does. You can't just decide "I'll adopt a kid". If you choose to go that route, you have to jump through almost as many hoops as we do to get a kid and then you may get to have a child you will choose to keep but often you don't want them and send them back. The cycle starts again with a new kid. Meanwhile those kids are feeling very much like merchandise and sort of treated that way too. Just another method of slavery until all the papers are signed and years have passed.
That is very true, and it really sucks that kids are treated that way. Although, I wasn't aware that they could bring the kid back if they decided they didn't want it. :-\ That's just really cruel. If you decide to adopt a kid, and you take them home with you, you should be prepared to keep them and care for them. Although, in a case like that, you might end up with abused kids because the parents don't like them, and they don't feel any real obligation because the kid didn't come from their womb. That must really suck. A friend of mine is adopted, but he was adopted at a young age and doesn't remember his birth parents, although he's now met them.
when you said tacophobia, i thought you meant a fear of tacos, lol.
nah, i dont know how to help, just keep telling yourself she's really fat, lol
Quote from: Elijah on February 26, 2011, 11:48:55 AM
i would say that I do have a very very strong fear of getting pregnant, i even have nightmares about it
now, im not afraid of pregnant women, but I do think that carrying a baby that is sucking your life is very gross and parasitic
This is how i feel about pregnancy in general, and I also have nightmares.
Quote from: Shaun on February 26, 2011, 12:07:08 PM
I have no fear of pregnant women, but I'm always scared that I'm magically going to become pregnant some day without even touching anyone.
This is so me. Being raised Catholic, every year near Christmas the priest talks about the Immaculate Conception. Scares me to pieces. Although I know chances are very slim.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 27, 2011, 05:50:17 AM
I don't necessarily agree or disagree with any of this but...
Adoption doesn't work as many seem to think it does. You can't just decide "I'll adopt a kid". If you choose to go that route, you have to jump through almost as many hoops as we do to get a kid and then you may get to have a child you will choose to keep but often you don't want them and send them back. The cycle starts again with a new kid. Meanwhile those kids are feeling very much like merchandise and sort of treated that way too. Just another method of slavery until all the papers are signed and years have passed.
I know. My parents, my uncle, and my grandfather were adopted. My parents have been looking into adoption for quite a while, as well. Older children in the system are definitely a difficult issue, especially because so many require extensive therapy because of what they may have experienced. No arguments as to how children are treated, the foster system in particular needs significant work.
However, in terms of the wait, I don't understand why someone would need to have a child so quickly that they'd be bothered by even a year or two of waiting. And if they can't navigate the hoops eventually, maybe there's something to rethink about having a child.
Quote from: Devyn on February 25, 2011, 09:04:20 PM
I said something similar to my friends before, before realizing I was FTM.
Before realizing I was FTM, I remember telling people that the only way a baby was coming out of me was if I puked it up after eating it.
Quote from: Yakshini on February 27, 2011, 06:24:33 PM
Before realizing I was FTM, I remember telling people that the only way a baby was coming out of me was if I puked it up after eating it.
That's great. XD
Well, I got through the party. I felt a little bit sick, but I just distracted myself with all the old French furniture (is it sad that it automatically reminded me of Lestat? :laugh:). My sister kept taking random pictures of me, so I did random poses, which worked pretty well as a distraction, as well. I can't believe I had to spend four hours there! But at least it's over now. :-\ Another whole day wasted.
This has been me for as long as I can remember.
However, I did originally read this as Tacophobia. :D
Also, don't feel bad about not wanting to go to a baby shower. Most guys would rather have their toenail pulled out than go to one of those. Including me.
I've got no problem with pregnancy/pregnant women, I'm the odd one out here. I've actually done a few paintings of pregnant women for the lulz.
I can't even conceptualize myself being pregnant, though. It's like the ability or thought of it just never even occurred to me. It's really weird, it's like my mind is THAT male. It's only when I'm having sex with a guy that I even remember I've got all that useless ->-bleeped-<- in my guts.
geez such strong feelings here, have no problem with pregnant women (or men) as long as it was out of choice, and not a minor or rape. Its not gross or disgusting to me anyway, i wouldnt be caught dead pregnant, its just not for me, doesnt mean its not for someone else. its their choice to do so without me passing judgement. A lot of people actually would be weirded out by transsexuals "sex changes" and would think its gross and disgusting, fearing what they dont understand.
Now on the tacophobia thing, dont worry too much about it if its not too serious, it will go away on its own. its completely natural to feel that way, pregnancy is no joke.
Quote from: JohnR on February 26, 2011, 01:15:50 PM
Don't worry Dante, you don't have tocophobia. If you did, you wouldn't even be able to talk about pregnancy, so set your mind at rest.
^ Totally not true.
I have Emetophobia (hell it was just mentioned a few posts up and I got all these shivers), but I'll still discuss the reason behind it. I can say how much I fear it, why I fear it, the way it makes me feel, etcetc.
I have Tocophobia. I can talk about it, I get sweaty just like Emetophobia. I start feeling suicidal thinking about what if I got pregnant. I'll even start getting my blood pressure to rise. Seeing a pregnant woman makes me freak out and I want to cry.
No sir, being able to talk about it or not does not define.