Well, I'm feeling some what isolated around me. I have one friend that I have come out too and am waiting till I have had my professional sessions before I proceedwith my family. However, I am completely sure of what and who I am.
There is a local gay/lesbian club and bar in my city, only this place though, and I was wondering whether to drag my friend in there to try and find someone similar. However a few thoughts popped into my head. The most important is would someone like me go in there? It was the first place I thought about, but was that years of thinking along the lines of acting male and therefore all the "weirdo's" like me would end up in this place. Yet I know personally I would just be trying to blend into the normal club scene.
The second is would they mind if I came up to and asked them, I mean that is a bloody personal question, and I know I depends purely on the person been asked, but still!
I just want to find someone, in real life that I can actually talk to and perhaps become friends enough to go out with, especially when I'm willing to go out as the true me. Do you think this is a bad idea and will offend girls and cause problems? Also, I know that we like been around GGs as it can draw less attention sometimes, I just don't know how to proceed. Everyone's posts on here are amazing yet you are still all on a computer and some real life support from similar people would be amazing.
Any advice from you all?
Rachel.
Go to the club and see how you feel. Take each step as you are comfortable. If you decide you don't like it, the leave.
But unless you are prepared to put your toes in the water, you're never going to know how cold it is.
Hopefully your therapist can direct you or even personally introduce you to local TG/TS groups in your area. Social support is an essential part of a successful transition. I wish you great fortune in your search.
Rachel
Use the internet and see if there is a TG/TV society in your area. Gay clubs are usually TG friendly.
Cindy
I had an amazing night out, didn't find any one like me but had a good night non the less. I went to my fav club and and it ended too soon so went to the "gay" after party bar and ended up talking to a lad and his "hag" and was completly honest, lol. sounds harsh unless you know the uk terms! They left early leaving me by myself, for several hours but i felt quite happy for once. Plus telephone numbers to continue further nights out. Plus I got a bright pink wrist band! I ended up accusing a girl with narrow hips of been a TS and she was offended but I still swear she was, takes one to know one etc. but wasn't going to question her more.I should never try to out someone and I realise that. Was a very wierd night but it makes me happy to try the real club next week, little steps! I feel at peace for the moment. We shall see over the next week how much I feel confident over things.
Quote from: RachelH on February 26, 2011, 05:54:00 PM
The second is would they mind if I came up to and asked them, I mean that is a bloody personal question, and I know I depends purely on the person been asked, but still!
Do you mean ask if they are TG? If so, never, ever, ever. That's not only an intensely personal question that you shouldn't ask strangers on a bar, but many transfolk are trying to live stealth. Being randomly outed would be massively distressing. If they want people to know, as you seem to, they'll volunteer that information themselves.
Its always good to try to find support locally. This is something I have been grappling a lot with recently, however to my surprise I ended up working at the same small company with a pre transition FTM. I was so surprised to have this experience. While browsing okcupid I came across his profile (presenting as a she at work) I sent him a message, and he introduced me to another MTF here in town. I was really surprised to see that there really are TG and TS people in the town that I live in, I dont hang out with this FTM and MTF that often, but we keep in touch exchanging messages on facebook etc. It is nice to know that we are not alone and it is normal to want to reach out.
Hey all, had an amazing night out to a musicians night at my local music club. My friend said he knew someone else like me and said he would eventually introduce me, well tonight was the night, the lady in question was in! Bless my friend but I don't think he knows what a favour he has done, she is 6 years post op and so outrageously flamboyant! I love her! I will never be that way but she is exactly what I need to break me out of my shell. I also ended up coming out to one of his friends who I never quite connected with; I was very distant from her. Apparently she is very trustworthy and has lots of TG and gay friends, so I just admitted the truth! She has said if I ever wanted shopping or clubbing then give a call!! Yay! So me, her and my mate we are going clubbing in the more flamboyant areas!
Also got invited by the new lady in my life to a birthday party, where she said she would get to the "nitty gritty" aspects that we can't talk about infront of everyone else... sounds ominous but excited at the same time!
The rollercoaster of transition has defiantly picked up a bit of speed!
Love you all x
Keep on partying Rachel